|Locke1520 RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16|
I don't really have anything to add to the discussion here. It's not strongly tie to the river kingdoms...I almost feel like Hanspur was an after thought tack on to make the archetype work in the River Kingdoms after the twist was announced...may not be the case but it sort of feels that way.
Congratulations on making it to the top 32. Good luck with the voting.
I'm sorry to say nothing about this archetype jump up and says play me. Sure burning things can be fun but arsonist didn't scream PC to me. Like I noted on another entry it seems more like an NPC archetype. I want to see more versatility in Superstar entries.
Besides loosing the two key trap abilities for a character who should be skulking around indoors (which is a big problem) you also gave us an archetype that was short. In fact before I read a word I noticed how short it was. I don't know if that was a conscious design choice or if time was an issue but it hurt you here. If you make it to round three you'll really have to step it up because it only gets harder.
Congratulations on making it to the top 32 and good luck with the voters.
Thomas LeBlanc wrote:
Yeah ocean's pilgrim is kinda lackluster but the rest of it isn't bad.
Jacob W. Michaels wrote:
I might've liked if there were some way to make the bubble only semi-pervious, so you could end up being trapped inside with a shark instead of just needing a Swim check to escape. Sounds a little silly -- and you'd have to be careful the mechanics weren't broken -- I'll admit, but it'd certainly be dramatic (find a way to get out before you drown -- or the shark inside eats you).
Or if the bubble could roll around like a watery (flaming) sphere at least then escaping becomes more interesting.
I don't know about this one I'm on the fence. Congratulations on making the top 32 and good luck with the voting.
You had me until binding oath, like was already mentioned this should be two separate powers. I can forgive this one error in round two but it's promptly followed with the weird save or die capstone. I'm sorry but this archetype isn't for me. Congrats on making it to the top 32 and good luck with the voting.
I like the name but I don't feel it really fits the archetype you've given us. Speaking of which...This is more of an NPC villain archetype than a PC/NPC archetype. I'd like to see more versatility in superstar archetypes. So the mechanical considerations mentioned above aside I won't be supporting this archetype for advancement. I'm sorry.
Congratulations on making the top 32 and good luck on the archetype round.
I like the thematic intro but it goes down hill from there. The only ability I really like is trial by jury the others are either meh or unnecessarily complex. For the extra complexity in Mark the Accused I would hope for a cooler payoff but that just may be me.
Congratulations on making the top 32 and good luck here in the archetype round.
A poisoner magus. Interesting choice, I myself had prepped a poisoner wizard so I'm glad were not up against one another.
Like Orthos I would have liked to see the red adder poison but I suspect you were up against word count. I'll take Jaerc at his word that your selections of poisons were chosen well (they did look okay without doing a full search).
I'm not sold on the intro text but I do like the execution. This is near the top of my short list for a vote.
Congrats on making top 32 and good luck withe the round two voting.
Unlike others who have suggested doing this as a ranger with Paladin traits would be better I respectfully disagree. It can be done. Back in the 2nd ed. (using Skills & Powers) I made very nearly this concept and when I read the intro I was hoping to see what someone else did in this design space.
So I really wanted to like this but unfortunately I'm disappointed. This no loner resembles a paladin too many of the iconic abilities and restrictions have been removed and it doesn't feel like a ranger of druid either. The river Warden is left looking gangly, awkward, and crammed into the design space.
I did like the altered code of conduct but would have preferred (given all of the other changes) that it had retained the LG restriction.
Anyway Congrats on making it to the top 32 and good luck this round.
I'm not quite through reading entries yet but this is the most creative I've seen thus far. Way to bring the Superstar mojo! I really like the re-flavored alchemy and mucking about with time without mucking up the game.
This is an easy vote. Congrats on making the top 32. After the last two rounds I'm really looking forward to your round three monster. No pressure, and good luck.
I'm afraid that I'm not as fond of this archetype as I am the Scallywag (Cavalier). While both archetypes limit dungeoneering...that cavalier already has that problem and thus a boating archetype actually expands the class while this archetype introduces the limitation. All in all it's not a bad archetype and in the right situation I could see using it but there are other entries I'm much more fond of.
Conratulations on making it to the top 32 and good luck this round.
This feels like a really good first draft or a second draft it just not quite there. The concept is cool but the flavor text is meh coupled with the mechanical issues already discussed. Lucus makes a very good point about "thief taking" and "anti-rogue" abilities.
Anyway congratulations on making the top 32 and good luck with your archetype.
Alexander Augunas wrote:
Sorry, I didn't mean that to come out like it did.
I know not everyone has read everything (I certainly haven't). But I do like it when I know where a tid-bit of info came from so I can go back and reference it myself.
As far as not liking the archetype that's cool. For me the the underwater alchemist just doesn't do it for me and i don't know why.
We have different opinions and I'm okay with that. Hopefully my previous post didn't come off too bad.
Thomas LeBlanc wrote:
A better crop than the 2011 archetypes! Voting is almost done. Choosing my last 3 is being a pain in the tookus.
Yeah much better than 2011.
I'm a little under halfway through and what I thought would be a short list of keepers isn't so short...I don't remember last year being so tricky with the organizations but it could be the deadlines, stress and other issues from last year clouding my recollections.
Alexander Augunas wrote:
This is pretty neat, but isn't Golarion supposed to be a high-magic setting? Is there need for a snake oil salesman when every common priest can cast a healing spell? The abilities are fairly sound and while I like this archetype, it doesn't have me super excited because I've seen this concept before. This archetype is an alchemist-flavored Razmir Priest.
As was pointed out during Curse of the Crimson Throne the economics of healing magic sometimes precludes "everyone" having access to everything they need...besides someone like these guys would persuade the gullible that their product was better than the temple's.
"Have you ever seen a temple that wasn't gilt in gold? Me either! Where do you suppose they get that wealth? That's right off the backs of common hard working men and women like you and me. I'm just a man like yourself trying to make my way in the world. I'm here offering you vitality for copper's on what the temple expects you to 'donate.' 'Donate' now there's loaded a word for you...and the priests can't even regrow your hair!"
I'm not a particular fan of the witch class but I do like shape-changers reasonably well so that evens out. For the most part your mechanics are pretty good...The abuse-ability of skin taker not withstanding. This is on my short list.
Congrats on making the Top 32 and good luck with the archetype round.
I've made it through several archetypes now and I'm pretty confident this is getting a vote from me.
This is definitely a first draft sort of archetype. I think with time and attention to some of the not inconsiderable issues outlined above this could be a cool archetype but unfortunately I don't think I will be votin for this one. Congratulations on making the top 32 and good luck this round. I really liked your seer's soap but speaking from experience round three critiques are exponentially more intense, you'll have to work very hard to avoid the first draft trap. Again good luck.
I agree with Oceanshieldwold. Thematic and mechanical success in my eyes, though it's possible this could have been better tied to an Inquisitor > Monk.
As I was reading the comments this was almost exactly my thought but then it would have to be very different and I probably wouldn't like it as much as this version. *shrugs* I just don't know about this one: I like it but I'm not excited. Add to that the there's something nagging at me that I can't quite put my finger on.
I'm not even really on the fence here yet. I need digest this one and come back. Anyway, congratulations on making it this far and good luck this round.
I also really like the idea of a band of Awakened rogues hunting down Priests of Razmir and enacting their horrifying illusionary revenge!
I could see this as well. However, I'm really not a fan of the continuing drug use angle of that final power for a Superstar entry. That sort of thing certainly has a place in the industry and even the setting but I don't feel Superstar is the moment to push those borders (even as gently as you do here.) YMMV.
Congratulations on making the top 32 and good luck with the archetype round.
I think there is a lot to like here...and a lot to work on but I'm more favorably inclined than not. I'm on the fence but teetering your way a developer could really help you make this a rocking archetype.
Congratulations on making the top 32 and good luck...I'll probably be back to look this over again before voting.
I find myself wanting to echo a lot of the thoughts above.
I'm on the fence here.
Congratulations on making the Top 32 and good luck in the archetype round.
This is a solid archetype but it doesn't wow me. While I like Outsea and I feel this fits neatly into that setting...there's something exciting here I'm missing and I'm sure it's more me than your design.
That said this shows nerve in designing in such a gonzo sort of setting space and you do it well. Despite my lack of enthusiasm for the concept this is on my short list because of execution.
Congratulations and good luck with the archetype round.
I wish the tie to the River Kingdoms was a little more explicit but I can certainly see hucksters easily making a living in the stolen lands or in Gralton (mentioned above) so I won't hold that against you.
Besides, I really like this one! It's not an archetype I would expect to want to play...but I do. I immediately imagined an on the run scoundrel who get's knotted up with a party of adventurers and discovers (against his own will) that he might just be hero material after all.
Congratulations on making the top 32 and Good luck.
I do like Paladins even with their rigid ideologies and I would still play this class and that's not just because I enjoy Arthurian myth. It's a pretty cool Archetype on it's own.
The ability exchanges may not be exciting but they work here both in function and flavor. This archetype is on my short list.
Congrats on making the top 32 and good luck.
First of all I can't help but want to say "I am the law," but that might be because I work in a video store and Dredd just came out...I digress.
I'm on the fence on this one I feel like choices have been needless taken out of the Player's hands...do elves, dwarves, halflings, and other races not need to be punished for their transgressions? I would have prefered a line about recommended favored enemies. And Sean's observations about the posse ability also worries me on this front.
As for the archetype feeling wild west? I don't think it's too problematic...less so than the gunslinger class. I'll definitely need to check back in with this entry once I've read more archetypes.
Congratulations on making the Top 32 and good luck this round.
Unlike Sean I like the fact that this could fit in the River Kingdoms but is still broad enough to be found anywhere there are wilds and roads. I want to like this archetype more but other than that one point I have to mostly agree with Sean and I'm unfortunately underwhelmed. Congrats on making the Top 32 and good luck with your archetype!
I'd like to +1 Cheapy and LoreKeeper here. It is a little too niche for the dungeon delving crowd but there is something in this entry I like.
I'll have to read through more entries before I decide whether I'm voting for this or not but I'm more favorably disposed to it than not. Good luck - you may need it with such a niche archetype.
Mark Aaron wrote:
Bowstring of Additional Might
I liked the concept behind this item but there are a few thins that I would have liked to have seen handled differently.
If I were going to make a similar item it would in some way increase the wielders effective strength bonus for drawing the bow negating the penalty to hit and perhaps allowing the wielder to capitalize on at least their own strength bonus to damage.
Jacob W. Michaels wrote:
Time's Tide Pendant
Two things come to mind.
As I was reading this my first thought was: "delaying to the end of the round to go first? That already ... oh wait ... you go twice in a row!"
Then I see a mechanical problem. What if you are last in the initiative? Do you delay and lose an action --or-- do you just activate it and jump to the head of the next initiative without a time cost?
All in all I still like this item in concept but a little fine polish would have helped a bit more.
Octavo of Perseverance
A divine spellcaster who worships Desna may read from the book while preparing her daily spells. This ritual reading grants her a +1 competence bonus on concentration checks until she next prepares spells. She may choose to dismiss this effect early as a free action to gain a moment of providence which allows her to cast divine spells without provoking attacks of opportunity until the end of her turn. Only one spellcaster can benefit from the ritual reading per day. Also, 3 times per day, any follower of Desna may read an inspirational passage aloud as a full round action to grant herself or an ally a +2 luck bonus to a single skill check made to retry a roll that had previously failed. This power does not allow a character to retry an action that cannot normally be tried again.
Thanks Bob. I'll PM you my item if you'd like and I'll definitely post to the Critique thread but I hadn't yet mentioned it. I wasn't even going to really bring it up until Friday but with the top 89 now visible I wanted to say something to the others in the 600+ entrants who might be a little disappointed by this announcement.
Thanks Clark for suggesting this to Paizo and a special thank you to Lisa, Vic and everyone else for letting Clark post the top 89 I think it will help people wrap their heads around how to design for two audiences at once.
I didn't even make the top 89. I didn't wow the general audience but I'm still feeling good about my entry. When I realized it was going to be open voting I almost went back to the drawing board but I made a conscious design decision and decided to stick it out refining this item. It was never cinematic or whiz-bang gonzo but I liked it. Still do.
The above list really demonstrates what it will take in future contests to appeal to two separate audiences although the two audiences do not seem to be that far apart. To those who made the top 36 & 32 Congratulations again looking forward to seeing all of your efferts in round two and beyond. To the top 89 of vote-getters congratulations for making that first hurdle, you were in good company.
And to the rest of us congratulations for entering I hope you are all still as proud of your effort now as you were when you entered. This contest isn't about beating the competition. Its about finding new talent, in this community and in ourselves.
Russ Taylor wrote:
I think it impresses the heck out of a lot of us. As does the amount and quality of content attributed to the Epic Meepo screen name (without touching the 3pp credits bearing: Eric Morton). I hope to see you enter again next year but If you don't I certainly understand why.
Thomas LeBlanc wrote:
I voted more for an item with balance/mechanics and average mojo than I did for a unbalanced/mechanically inept item with cool mojo. I think a core understanding of the rules is integral to game designer and so that was the person I voted, one who delivered a balanced design that is useable without having to be developed by someone else. My favorite items were the ones that were designed soundly and had plenty of mojo. There were not many of those. When I compare my item to my keep folder, I see my item lacks alot of the "OOH!" that screams superstar when compared to most of the Top 32. But I feel it is a good magic book item. Next year I need to channel more Boomer...
Very much this!
Congratulations on making the top 32! This is a cool idea that certainly deserves exploring. I'm not sold on the current incarnation but there is some creative mojo at work here if you ever go back and tweak this I'd love to see what the results look like. I often feel like options for cleric items are a little thin so you're playing in a design space I like.
Good luck with round two. I'm very curious what sort of archetype you have in store for us.
Neil Spicer wrote:
Parallel design, inspiration from the corset discussion, or not, I don't really care. What matters to me here is the execution of the idea, and I thought this was very well put together. You can easily see it in play. This is the type of item that seamlessly fits in the game. And, it's got a high enough coolness factor to it (both in description and mechanics) that it's not just another "book of magic items" type of item. This is Superstar.
It does WOW! And I don't want to seem like I was belittling the result here. That would be hypocritical. Last year I made it in with a much more pedestrian item that also suffered from parallel design so I know this flaw is like the rest of the guideline "rules". If you break a "rule" with style and excellent execution you can still get in. Which is why I wasn't surprised Clay's item in the Top 32. The execution here, again, is Superstar.
My point was to share one of the pieces of critical advice that really helped me stretch myself as a designer. Prepping this year I discarded a few ideas after checking the forums, PRD, and Pathfinder OGC sites. I wanted to be sure I knew what had been done before and not cover the same ground again. I thought it was advice worth sharing again.
Clark Peterson wrote:
I think this is why I was calm heading into the announcement and wasn't too disappointed by missing being part of the top 36.
I'm proud of my effort, maybe it wasn't Superstar this year but I'm still proud.