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Mordant Spire Elf

Limeylongears's page

Pathfinder Society Member. 740 posts (2,848 including aliases). No reviews. 2 lists. No wishlists. 2 Pathfinder Society characters. 31 aliases.


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My best ever was an LP consisting of recordings of steam trains with mechanical defects, from all over the world. A) Who would bother taping something like that, and B) even if they did, who would buy it (unless it was 50p in a charity shop) ? It actually sounds like avant-garde percussion music (Varese or something) - not bad, but still...

The second of those is actually true.

Mary Poppins was originally called 'Morvel I. Rocwell', but that got cut in production for being too obvious an anagram of Oliver Cromwell.

Illegal Puritan tracts used to be distributed by itinerant birdseed sellers, for 'Tuppence a Bag', an event commemorated by the song 'Feed the Birds'

'Chim Chim Cheree' shows why the Revolution was necessary, since before the execution of Charles I, everybody used to speak like Dick Van D$%+.

Incidentally, should you watch the film with the sound off while listening to New Model Army's greatest hits, you will be very bored and develop a severe headache.

However, staying on topic. Sid James of the 'Carry On' films was apparently born Solomon Joel Cohen, in South Africa, in 1913. That *is* true, and I had absolutely no idea.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Treppa wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
Treppa wrote:
I'm stressed, so currently reading an Agatha Christie mystery. It's mind candy. Sue me.

I have a soft spot for Agatha Christie. They just don't write mysteries like that anymore. Murder is so much cooler when it is committed by rich people in a setting containing a finite number of people, all of whom have motives.

If I'm ever murdered, I hope it is like that.

I really enjoyed them and was disappointed to find only two Christie mysteries available on Project Gutenberg.

And I'm sure that can be arranged, CH.

Poll: In general, would we all prefer to be a) slain by a little-known South American poison that is instantly fatal and defies detection or b) transfixed by a dagger of oriental design?

Got Gulliver of Mars by Edwin L. Arnold off Project Gutenberg, myself. Looking forward to it!

Today I made the fantastic NAAN BREAD PIZZA!

One garlic naan, with a mixture of tomato paste and (a very little) olive oil smeared on top and cheese grated over that. 5 minutes under the grill and ready to eat!

Also added chili sauce; may leave it out next time.

Orc Minion 21 wrote:
Thanks Grummash for letting me live in your new basement, can i have something to cover my bare lightbulb?

Fawful's swallowed it, by the looks of things...

This week, nothing special - last week, however, I cooked a mutton, spinach and chickpea curry that was an absolute triumph, even if I do say so myself. Will definitely make it again (and in greater quantity), assuming I can find somewhere else that sells mutton...

Just finished The Faillible Fiend by L. Sprague de Camp, which I enjoyed; Vol. 4 of the Wheel of Time seems to be mainly about the protagonists' love problems at the moment. Hum.

Also enjoying Medieval Warfare magazine, which has an interesting article about an 11th Century Icelandic psychopath/poet in, amongst other things.

I am seriously impressed with and envious of Cort's 'tache. That's how it should be done! :)

A live version of VdGG's 'A Plague of Lighthouse Keepers', which is incredible.

And ]Takeshi Terauchi's version of Fur Elise - ditto.

Climax - Gusano Mechanico

Nice bit of Bolivian heavy, with not too much singing to get in the way.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Gaijatra - Hindu festival taken up by the LGBT community - celebrated yesterday in Nepal

German Oak - Nibelunglied

Good album, though the band name and album title together make me slightly nervous...

Kyrik and the Lost Queen, by Gardner F. Fox. Keeps up to his usual standards, i.e. lots of ridiculous fights, boobies and a plot as flimsy as the garment worn by the woman on the front cover, which also features a burly swordsmen wearing one of those darling little helmets with bull's horns on, both of them charging along in a chariot pulled by a rhinoceros. Nowhere in the book does anyone get to ride in a rhino-powered vehicle of any kind, which is disgusting.

I, too, have to read Lenin in preparation for the education element of tomorrow's [redacted] Party Blood-Soaked (not really) Fun-Fest (when it was my turn I had to do a presentation on Wages, Prices and Profit, so hoo-f***ing-ray for me). I also went to the library and got out vol. 4 of The Wheel of Time and a book called Battlefield Yorkshire, both which look good. I'll let you know.

LG Wizard, level 4. I'm always a wizard. A wizard with int 12, too, so a pretty kakky one. No 3rd level spells for me :( :( :(

Radishes with salt
Oven bottom cakes with plenty of marge, filled with hula hoops (cheap crisps/chips), pref. barbecue beef flavour, and pickled onions.
Just pickled onions
Steak and kidney pie in teacake
Chips (i.e. chipped potatoes - not fries, though, as the texture's all wrong) in teacake
Cheese sandwich, i.e. two pieces of cheese with peanut butter & some sort of sauce in between.
Cold sausages.

Brown sauce will go excellently with any of these except the radishes.

Blast. Now I'm hungry :(

15 people marked this as a favorite.

If I want breakfast, I strip naked, break the ice on a lake and then wrestle an Arctic Plesiosaur into submission. Or I may stun a polar bear with one punch and then use it as a furry greatclub in order to kill several other polar bears and then consume their reeking carcases raw, even the livers. In the unlikely event that I eat, wear or use anything that I haven't slain myself in unarmed combat, I will gnaw it out of solid granite. At night, I stand proudly beneath the great, yellow moon, bellowing "I live! I LIVE! I LIIIIIVE!!!", basking in the awe-inspiring immensity of Savage Nature.

Does that count?

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Linked for Reference

14 wives, or 8 wifier than Henry 8th (ha) (or Great Grandad Longears, who was a cavalry sergeant and not a cult leader but still managed to rack up six marriages). Good for you, clearly.

I'm listening to Mëkanïk Dëstruktïẁ Kömmandöh by Magma.

No - I'm now kind of expecting things to decline even further as the series progresses; if all I've got to look forward to is more of the same I'll probably quit it, unless I can find them super cheap.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Chert the Barbarian and his roguish friend sat across the table from Mordenkainen in the Bella Furyondy restaurant in Greyhawk City.

"I hope you enjoyed your garlic bread", said the archmage. "Now I have something even better for you!"

He gestured to a waiter, who bought over a flat box, opening it to release a delicious odour and reveal a flat disc of dough, covered with tomato sauce and melted cheese. Then, suddenly, it began to speak!


The jaws of Chert and his companion dropped. "Wha-huh?!"


Chert raised his mighty axe above the dish, shouting "FOUL WITCHERY!", but Mordenkainen simply raised an admonitory eyebrow and shook his head. The small, dark man sitting by the barbarian put a calming hand on his comrade's brawny arm and eased him back onto his seat.

"Mordenkainen, what was that?!", he asked, and the wizard replied:

"That is the pizza, Gord, that passeth all understanding"

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Those Ranger levels were worthwhile after all - thanks to taking Favoured Enemy (low grade 70s fantasy paperbacks) I was able to track down and subdue the following today:


Wizard of Lemuria - Lin Carter.
The Quest for Cush - Charles R. Saunders (really looking forward to that one
Black Legion of Callisto - Lin Carter
The Second Book of Swords - Fred Saberhagen
Kyrik and the Lost Queen - Gardner F. Fox
Warlocks and Warriors (an anthology)
Whom the Gods Would Slay - Ivar Jorgensen
Day of the Minotaur - Thomas Burnett Swann
Hadon of Ancient Opar - Philip Jose Farmer

I also got hold of an old D20 sourcebook called Arrows of Indra, setting out rules for running a 3.5e campaign in ancient India. Pretty cool, but loses points for describing tulwars as two-handed weapons. Tsk tsk. And I read 'Jirel of Joiry' on the train there and back, which was first-class.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

That was very good indeed.

Now moved onto Cosmic Circus Music - German hippie freakouts.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Piccio dal Pozzo. Kind of Canterbury Scene-y, which is not what I was expecting.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I'm sorry I don't have a face to empunchen.

(He takes off the mask... And there's nothing behind it! Agh! Agh!)

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Shuttling between two IT support companies all morning, each of whom insisted that whatever was going wrong was the other's problem, only to get it sorted out in around fifteen bleeding minutes once I'd got hold of someone who knew what's what? This is the sort of thing Cosmo brings about with a contemptuous flick of his elegantly manicured (?) fingers (?) - kindergarten stuff. However, what one of them decided I needed to keep me company while waiting for some yawking putz to come on the line and tell me it's got nothing to do with him and what the hell is this server thing you keep talking about anyway was a looped version of 'Another Day in Paradise' by Phil Collins, played on the electronic panpipes, and it's those little details that are the hallmark of a true professional.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Thankyou, Randy.

Is a worthwhile goal. I'd like to donate 5 shillings to it right now, as well as advancing the slogan SMASH PATRIARCHY THROUGH RESOLUTE BLOWS WITH CONVENIENT FOLDED GUSSETS FOR PURPOSE OF CARRYING LOOSE OBJECTS!

The naive assumption is that either you're carrying everything you need around in the Tardis-like interior of your handbag/purse or Space-Colonel Pickering is teaching you to be a lidy and hence you have a robot butler to port things around for you. Still, contributing to the death of what I can't call fanny packs in public because that'd mean something diiiferent...

I've always wanted to try Spruce beer.

Something very odd I found reproduced in an old (out of print) home-brewing book recently - a recipe for cock(erel) ale. Still, chicken soup with barley's a classic, so why not barley wine with chicken?

Somewhat alarming original procedure reproduced below:

"Take 10 gallons of ale and a large cockerel, the older the better; parboil the cock, flay him, and stamp him in a stone mortar until his bones are broken (you must draw and gut him when you flay him), then put the cockerel into two quarts of sack, and put to it five pounds of raisins of the sun, stoned; some blades of mace, and a few cloves; put all these in a canvas bag, and a little while before you find the ale has been working, put the bag and ale into a vessel. In a week or nine days bottle it up; fill the bottle but just above the neck, and give it the same time to ripen as other ale"

The authors go on to update the recipe somewhat and do recommend it. Beyond my skills, for certain, but might be an interesting project for someone with adventurous tastes...

One thing that puzzles me about many male garments for the lower half is the superfluity of pockets. I thought this had gone out with the decline of Nu-Metal, remembering what were called either combat pants (which you had to wrestle into submission every morning before putting them on) or cargo pants (imported from Polynesia, where the natives enact colourful rituals resembling WWII combat operations in order to persuade the magic trousers to come down from the sky and return to them) with a shudder, but apparently not. It's hot, so I'm wearing shorts. How many pockets do I need in my shorts? Two? Three? Four, at a pinch? Apparently not - the manufacturers, helpfully warding off a potential attack of Pocket Envy, have supplied me with at least 15. What would happen if I filled all these pockets? They'd be pooled around my ankles and I'd be in prison or very badly beaten, that's what. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, YOU BEASTS? Maybe this is an attempt to make me feel less like an underfed nerd and more like a rugged champion of the untamed wilderness - if so, it doesn't bloody well work and nobody is going to mistake me for this month's Combat and Survival centrefold or Ted Nugent no matter how many zips I have on my thighs. Grunters.

Halfing Rogue:


Bill Lumberg wrote:
Limeylongears wrote:
My parents, while despairing at my taste in literature (Michael Moorcock, etc), were never bothered about it and didn't have a problem with D&D , either. My mother did make me throw my Black Sabbath albums away, though.

Were these albums with Ozzy or Dio singing? It makes a difference!

One was 'Sabbath Bloody Sabbath', so Ozzy; can't remember what the others were...

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My parents, while despairing at my taste in literature (Michael Moorcock, etc), were never bothered about it and didn't have a problem with D&D , either. My mother did make me throw my Black Sabbath albums away, though.

Yes, but he's undead, so of course he gets negative rant points. He's healed, revitalised and empowered by them. THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!

Mythic JMD031 wrote:
Limeylongears wrote:

OK. A certain amount of priming with Russian Imperial (spit) Stout was required, but here goes:

** spoiler omitted **...

I have no idea what is going on here....but I feel that because it is a rant I should give rant points. +1 rant point.

That was a Public Safety Rant, showing the Dreadful Consequences of drinking and posting.

gran rey de los mono wrote:
Soooo...What exactly are the rules regarding raiding other ranters for their rant points. I'm seeing a few people besides myself with some, and I think I want all of them. Is this allowed, or this thread non-PVP?

All I can say is, find Lucky7's phylactery and destroy it, thus ending his reign of undead terror once and for all, and his entire hoard of rant points will be yours by right of conquest.

Fusioon - Minorisa

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OK. A certain amount of priming with Russian Imperial (spit) Stout was required, but here goes:

Gor Blimey:

Cards on the table time - I like dirty books and I like Sword and Planet, so when I saw that there was a 20+ novel series that combined the two, I nearly had an embarrassing and messy accident. Silly me. The first in the cycle, Tarnsman of Gor, was reasonable; I always thought 'Tarn' referred to a small body of water. Maybe 'Pond Straddlers' or 'Drippy Waddlers of Gor' didn't quite create the atmosphere of exotic, savage adventure the publisher was after, and anyway, a Tarn is apparently a vicious flightless bird which only a true granite-jawed hero can bend to his will. Various things happen in the mean time, mainly involving incredible fights against impossible odds and gorgeous young ladies who only require being crushed in the sweat-glazed embrace of a rhythmically farting gurgler dressed up as a hoplite to discover true womanly happiness, which (of course) involves gleefully submitting to their every wish without ever complaining, getting headaches, getting pregnant, getting old, having a will of their own, etc. Most of this is implied in many other S&P/S&S novels; however, Le Maitre Norman decides that what he's doing is not merely immature male wish-fulfilment (which does not bother me in the slightest) but a grand fillustuflickal crusade to slay radical feminism once and for all and re-establish gender relations on a Truly Natural Basis. The websites set up by his disciples prove that some people take this very seriously indeed, although the gay ones seem to solely involve men with no hair in night combat gear punching each other. I dunno. There was a group in Doncaster (a grotty post-industrial town in South Yorkshire, UK) who got in trouble when one member decided to take his girlfriend around the shops on a dog leash, incidentally, but other than that, they keep out of the public eye, being properly ashamed of themselves. You might say that if they were spouting Marxist dogma along with the sword fights and bottoms I wouldn't mind at all, and all I can say to that is YES YES ***K ME YES LEAD ME TO IT. I have just given myself a job, so watch out, you objects.

Limey woke up one morning and, while absent-mindedly scratching his guiro, thought to himself, "I wish I had more avant-garde samba records with pig noises on". Little did he know that his guiro was a magic guiro! Imagine his surprise when, with a (what does that say.. puff of smoke? Good.) Hermeto Pascoal appeared:

"Seu desejo é uma ordem, oh Dominar!"

And gave him a link to Slaves' Mass!

Well, one of my jobs for this weekend is to revamp and expand my Gor rant which I posted on the Books thread, only with more bad words. That may help, or it may kill it off entirely

Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

I've been neglecting my reading, alas, but in my defense, we've recruited two more people to the Commonwealth Party of Galt (M-L)

Hey, you've turned Hoxhaist!

I got to the end of Nomads of Gor, which could be a very decent cheesy S&P adventure story if he'd leave off the slave girls for 5 minutes. However:

Mini Gor rant:

I can see why people find these books misogynistic, but in the first one, it was kept discreetly below the surface. In the second, it's a bit more obvious - Trowel Cardboard is sent to a city which is, in defiance of all that is good and natural, ruled by women; hence, Love and Joy are banned and only when Our Hero puts the wicked virago in charge over his manly knee does everything turn out as it should. This time:

"It means, I think (...) that only a woman who has utterly surrendered - and can utterly surrender - losing herself to a man's touch - can be truly a woman, and being what she is, is then truly free"

In practice, this appears to mean being used, sold, flogged and tied up in sacks full of dung. Being "real" women, Gorean slave girls are ecstatically happy with this state of affairs, of course, even if:

"[b]"The Goreans recognise that the truth is hard for women to understand, that they will reject it, that they will fear it and fight it"

If all he was doing was setting a novel in a society where this state of affairs was normal then there'd be nothing to it, but I get the impression he really believes it, which will no doubt come as a shock to nobody except myself. Maybe I'll continue reading the series, maybe I won't - I can put up with a lot, but what's coming will have to be really good to make up for stuff like that.

Last weekend was cheeseburgers. Since these were British cheeseburgers, the recipe involved boiling them for three hours in a mixture of sand, diesel and Winston Churchill's tears, forcing them through a dozen consecutive pigeons and then nailing the remains to the Prime Minister. Suitable fuel for two and a half hours of sabre drill, but must do something a bit more creative this Sat/Sun.

I was under the impression that, at one point, beer had hops in and ale didn't (or maybe it was the other way around). That doesn't seem to hold true today, however.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I'm not going to click on that link, because it's Roxette.

I'm not going to click on that link, because it's Roxette.

I'm not going to click on that link, because it's Roxette.

I clicked on the link.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:
Mmmm, Gregor Samsa porn.

"You've got a hard shell, but your belly is soft

I'm trying to figure out how to get you off"

Interspecies love is wrong

Please yourselves, though - it's no skin off my nose, as the baby boy said to the Moyl.

Since it's been warm, I've been out in the garden reading Thongor - Thongor of Lemuria and Thongor in the City of the Magicians, though I'm only halfway through the second.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

For the supply of port to give out.

I was tingling with excitement at the thought that maybe someone had novelised 'Romantic Warrior'. Sadly not.

Kirth's right, though.

Raven: Swordmistress of Chaos, a woman who solves the vexatious boob-plate controversy by dispensing with the plate bit. Actually, she mostly manages to stay clothed during the book, when not indulging in a bit of hot barbarian-on-princess action. Good sabre work, too. I liked it a lot.

Also trying Teach Yourself Old English, without much success, so far.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Full Brazilian time.

Som Imaginario


Bixo da Seda, which may be a bit too far down the jazz/rock route for some.

Ask Uncle Limey.

Uncle Limey says:

"Take the lawn up, put the pinecones under the lawn, then put it down again. Get your whole family to come round and roll on it to level it out, and voila - problem solved. Or just get more pinecones, add them to the pinecones already there, and have pinecones instead of lawn."

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Ariesta Birawa Group

I was hoping this album was on Youtube. And it is!

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Dragonlords of Mystara by Thorarinn Gunnarsson; pretty unbeatable name for a fantasy author, but a bit so-so as a novel. Still, I know very little about Mystara, so interesting from that point of view.

EDIT: And, of course, Are you there, Lenin? It's me, Doodlebug, by Vanessa Pablovovich Shachtman

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