|Paizo Pathfinder® Paizo Games|
|About Paizo Messageboards News Paizo Blog Help/FAQ|
Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:
Mmmm, Gregor Samsa porn.
"You've got a hard shell, but your belly is softI'm trying to figure out how to get you off"
Please yourselves, though - it's no skin off my nose, as the baby boy said to the Moyl.
Since it's been warm, I've been out in the garden reading Thongor - Thongor of Lemuria and Thongor in the City of the Magicians, though I'm only halfway through the second.
Raven: Swordmistress of Chaos, a woman who solves the vexatious boob-plate controversy by dispensing with the plate bit. Actually, she mostly manages to stay clothed during the book, when not indulging in a bit of hot barbarian-on-princess action. Good sabre work, too. I liked it a lot.
Also trying Teach Yourself Old English, without much success, so far.
Ask Uncle Limey.
Uncle Limey says:
"Take the lawn up, put the pinecones under the lawn, then put it down again. Get your whole family to come round and roll on it to level it out, and voila - problem solved. Or just get more pinecones, add them to the pinecones already there, and have pinecones instead of lawn."
Lord Snow wrote:
Or Tom Clancy's Badger Sanctuary, or whatever it's called. Or the slew of Conan books produced from bits & bobs left over by REH (or constructed out of whole cloth). So far as I'm concerned, the more Conan there is the better, so hooray for that.
Nomads of Gor has now thrown a Mongol-type barbarian called Harold into the mix. I wonder why?
Yup. It's supposed to help you figure out how high the saddle should be.
Oookay.. So, driving as in driving a Leyland Imp up the M62? Stuffing down your shorts in case something decides to crawl up the frame and have a nibble, or to protect against chafing? Volume 3 of The Wheel of Time gives the optimum distance between man-parts and pedal powered conveyance? What if you don't have a scrotum, for whatever reason?
I've heard of ye olde Bible in top pocket deflecting bullet schtick, but this is something else entirely (try doing that with an iPad)
Things that you don't get with PDFs:
1) Cover art (I suppose you do... not the same, though...)
Having said that, ebooks do make it one heck of a lot easier to find stuff you'd be very lucky indeed to come across in print, plus I like having books on my phone. Hooray for the modern world, where we can have both!
I'm so, so glad that the [redacted] spangled [redacted] of PiPu still waves o'er this thread.
It's slave girls with fat ankles o'clock in Nomads of Gor. Also reading The Greatest Traitor - the life of Roger Mortimer, who fell in love with Queen Isabella (she wuvved him back, too), deposed and imprisoned (and probably murdered, although no-one can prove it was via red hot poker, as legend has it) Edward II, and generally had a right old time of it in 13th century England. Fewer 'sexual outsiders' than John Irving, but more public disembowelments/on-battlefield castrations, or so I should imagine.
The Suns of Scorpio, by Alan Burt Akers - superior S&P, best I've read outside of Edgar Rice Burroughs, anyway, and possibly edging ahead of Lin Carter, too...
And Nomads of Gor: the first book raised unrealistic expectations, I think, and this one is less fantastic adventures of twit from Brizzl and more catalogue of ways to humiliate attractive young women (there are no old, or even middle-aged, women on Gor, apparently). Still, only 40 pages in, and a plot may develop if I persist with it.
Less culty unhinged wigout, more psyche-y country rock, a la Workingmen's Dead/American Beauty era Grateful Dead or A Jug of Love by Mighty Baby which is also well worth a listen, if only because it's the only actual Islamic country and western (ish) album in existence, so far as I know.
Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
Good news! And it gives me an idea for a story about a vendor of exotic diseases in Nadsokor. Now all I have to do is get off my luxuriantly pelted behind and write it...
Just finished A Book of Voyages, edited by Patrick O'Brian - a compilation of traveller's/sailor's accounts from the 16th-18th centuries, including some pretty grim accounts of starvation/cannibalism/shipwreck, and so on. Fascinating.
Swordsmen of Mars, by Otis Adelbert Kline, a sort of mashup of ERB and The Prisoner of Zenda. Average.
Also, The Pearl, a big ol' compendium of Victorian porn, which is ace. Has some very funny limericks and other stuff alongside the grumble-tales, none of which are quotable here without the Wrath of Chris falling upon us, unfortunately.
If Cosmo is responsible for chainmail bikinis, then thankyou Cosmo. THANKYOU, THANKYOU, THANKYOU.
Now, how to get these officially approved in my workplace? H'mmm...
Had a sh*t week, so decided to read Tarnsman of Gor this evening, on the same principle that punching yourself in the face will temporarily distract you from the pain of, say, a sore throat. Actually, (shamefaced whisper), I quite enjoyed it, thereby proving that I am a gruesome little perv with no critical faculties.
Judy Bauer wrote:
Taking a break from The Decameron to read The Song of Roland. I picked Dorothy L. Sayers's translation because I'm a fangirl; while the intro was helpful (and credited numerous female scholars!), I wish the translation were prose. Sayers' dedication to recreating the original meter and rhyme scheme is admirable but distracting.
I'm finding something similar with Orlando Furioso (translated by Barbara Reynolds, who I think, coincidentally, was one of DLS's pals, or collaborators) - some of the poetry can get a bit McGonagallesque at times, too.
What to read next. H'mm h'mm. Ha-Joon Chang.
Our local ice cream van plays the theme from 'The Good, the Bad and the Ugly' to announce its presence. It's not that bad a neighbourhood...
Cybotron, right now. If you wanted to sum up prog in one image, you could do worse than a bearded, bespectacled man in a cape standing in front of a battery of monophonic synths. JEALOUS.
I blame Cosmo firstly for my overfilling my cup of tea, leading to potential spillage on precious computer. I then blame him for thinking that the obvious way around this problem would be to get down on all fours and slurp the excess out of the top of the cup like some sort of beast.
My thin veneer of civilisation stayed intact, you'll be glad to hear, and I didn't, but it was a damn' close thing.
Being a man of my word, I went out in the g~*@@~ garden, drank g#!##~ beer and g%!+++ well read Alan Burt Akers' Transit to Scorpio which I very much enjoyed, even if (or because) it didn't mess with the standard S&P formula of adventurous man goes to distant planet, does sword-fights, ponks princess. Have the next two volumes, too, which I'm looking forward to - also got through Jandar of Callisto, which was, of course, (being Lin Carter) super.
Had a rest from Orlando Furioso, picking up a short account of the siege of Bradford (or sieges) during the English Civil War instead. The right side won eventually, even if the Royalists did manage to blow up Kirkgate.
Tomorrow, if the weather's decent, I'm going to sit out in the garden, drink beer and read Alan Burt Akers
Celeste Principe di un Giorno, which is quite chilled out and has lots of nice mellotron on.
After 8 hours straight going through comments about urinary tract infections, I need it - I also a) feel like the back end of an incontinent (or incompetent) otyugh and b) keep singing "Thrush, thrush, I thought I heard her calling my name now" to myself.
Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
And if you can keep track of what side Barbozo, Randipanti and Supermarte are on, who's a girl, who's not, who's got the magic sword, who's got the magic donkey (etc), you're a better man than I am, gobbo din.
I had a super fun job once ringing up power stations in the US and asking them stupid questions about their filtration systems. My accent (when not drunk or angry) is not particularly strong and I can posh things up when necessary so most of the time it was fine, but I found people in the South could not understand me at all. Not sure why.
Not too bad - I've been reading it in spurts for 3-4 days solid and not got bored of it yet, but it's not going into my top 10 straight away. Poor chap seems to have spent most of his time in jail (and got mildew at one point, he was in there so long).
Am also having a go at the second volume of Orlando Furioso, as a sort of aperitif for playing around with polearms tomorrow.