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All the no longer single goblins! (All the no longer single goblins!)
IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE THEN PUT A PICKLE ON IT.
I don't know, now that things have gotten serious, I think we have to pretend that Goblins do it in a refined and dignified way, in a secure non disclosed location.
Pretend - because the truth is too sanity-shattering to contemplate?So far as I can tell, they take it to the basement , anyway.
What about Princess Unnatural Lust-ing?
Actually, for you guys that want to find someone special online dating might really work, all you need to do is leave off talking about sex for, oh, lets see, maybe five or six messages?
I have never once mentioned s*x when messaging anyone on an online database, which probably explains my less than stellar success rate and the distinct absence of bumhole-themed communications in my inbox. And I also prefer my porn done in crayon, or perhaps performed by balloon animals, so I don't see why other people are required at all.
the David wrote:
True, though Prince(ss) Charming is kind of in short supply hereabouts; Princess Suggestion-ing, more hopeful. Princess Dire Charm-ing, nope. Princess Domination-ing, well - [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] Ow...
Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
Maaybe you could say you've sworn never to wed anyone who cannot best you in single combat? (nb: I'm aware that there may be a couple of tiny flaws in that plan...)
I have plenty of socks, or I should do - where are they all? Answer: Cosmo's Cisatlantic (?) agents (The Cosmointern) have been scampering about the house while I'm asleep, hiding my hosiery. Produce it forthwith, sirrah!
I also blame Cosmo for the very startling way in which my digestive system decided to follow up a night on the chili con carne and Guinness.
The Watchers: A Secret History of the Reign of Elizabeth 1st by Stephen Alford. Pretty good.
Vikram and the Vampire - Trad. Arr. Richard F. Burton. Odd.
Conan The Mercenary - God-Emperor Offutt. Entertainingly cheesy.
Richard Blade 1: The Bronze Axe - Jeffrey Lord. Even cheesier; an unholy blend of Gor, James Bond and Celto-Viking slaughter-porn, if you can imagine such a thing.
Hugs ahoy. Cosmo, can't you and Ralishaz and Beshaba come to some sort of gentlefolks' agreement to bypass La Slaad for a bit?
If it's any incentive, I have plenty of cat poop, but no coffee. Yawanna swap?
Thinking about it, none of them were sitting MPs (of course they wouldn't have been...), so that's why.
A butcher in Ripon, North Yorkshire, celebrated this year's Tour De France by trying to make a bicycle out of meat products
Good point - maybe none of regicides were MPs, or they were technically executed for something else. I'll have to check.
I was in the band for job no. 2's Xmas party.
White Winter Hymnal - Fleet Foxes
A pretty weird set (I didn't pick any of 'em) and 'Man In The Mirror' was nearly wrecked by a malfunctioning flanger, but it turned out alright in the main. No Cyndi Lauper this year, though. BOO.
Yesterday I finished off volume 1 of Robert Jordan's Conan stories, or Pornan the Bare Hairy'un, as I've decided to call it. I've never come across so many nipples since I last read an Andrew J. Offutt book.
I've also started a blog about kakky fantasy novels, which can be viewed here. Anyone expecting Samnellesque levels of research and erudition needs to prepare themselves for a great deal of disappointment.
Clearing out the cupboard under the stairs resulted in a lot of old crap being thrown out, but I also found:
1) Two old issues of Dragon, which was nice.
Also tried reading Montaillou by Emile La Roi Ladurie, which was very dull indeed, unless you like reading about the daily lives of 13th Century Cathar Shepherds
Guess what?:Not a keeper.
They herd sheep. Then eat soup. Then do some heresy. Then herd more sheep, etc etc until your balls drop off from boredom. If you have balls. If you don't, you are at least spared that part of the ordeal
I blame Cosmo for the fact that I have already made a feature-length motion picture of precisely that. Several, in fact, plus a 'Making Of' documentary and a children's animated TV series (with accompanying range of wipe-clean poseable action figures!).
Actually, I haven't done any of those things, which is also Cosmo's fault. If Paizo wants to give me, I dunno, $4.75, though, IT CAN HAPPEN.
It's winter! It's cold! There is rain, and strong winds! Ai! Ai! Cue nationwide panic! (in tabloid media-land, at least). This obviously means that Paizo's Moses of Snow is reaching the climax of some Epic-level ritual in the NYC Temple of Talos, lightning playing about his mass of gold chains as a horde of sexy storm elementals cavort maniacally about him.
Or, in dub reggae terms,
Mythic JMD031 wrote:
Are you comparing me to the Chinese Government?
Not at all, but I am comparing you to the Chin-Ease Groovy Mint, a disco themed breath sweetener which also helps lubricate and protect the area between mouth and throat if you dribble enough. Not sure why.
I just thought you needed to know that somewhere, a pun-free oasis exists where you can water your spiritual camel without being tormented by paragraphs like the above.
When I went to pick up my guttering today (incidentally, if anybody wants about 6-7 inches of plastic pipe, it's yours. Don't all rush), the man at the builders' merchant warned me, 'DON'T GO UP ON THE ROOF!', presumably for the same reasons. Unless Springheel Jack's on the loose again.
More gales, eh? Wonder what'll end up being blown into my front yard this time? Not been anything exciting so far, but hope springs eternal.
I didn't know it was a comic - I'm pretty sure I had the RPG at some point, unless I've just imagined that...
NFSW, since they've decided to illustrate it with some early 20th century porn.
I've never read anything by Wilheim Reich (who was in the KPD, very early on). Maybe the library can get it.
Mythic JMD031 wrote:
Curse you Limey...if I was keeping better track of rant points I would take them from you. WHY WON'T THAT THREAD DIE???!!!!
BARUTHAAHS 'N' SISTAAHS! Four score and seven years ago I had a dream that so much was owed to so few who had in their hayunds a piece of paper and I wanna ask y'all, will we let the hairy beatnik Renaissance merchant man crush our Vision? Will we let him stop our perfumed Glory from waftin' over the world like some heavenleh blast of Febreze? Will we allow the dead hand of repression to clasp us in its clammy, cheeto-stained jaws? Will we? WILL WE?
No, No, No! Baruthaahs 'n' Sistaahs, I want you all to link arms, place a delicate flowah in the button hole of the Policeman standing in front of you and SING WITH MEH!
"OOOOH, WE WILL OFFER PU-HU-HUNS. WE WILL OFFER PU-HU-HUNS. WE WILL OFFER PUNS, TOOO-DAY-YAY-YAY-YAY-YAY" (ad nauseum)
Well, if we do communalise women, as accused, you're in there, as you can both pick her; if, as we should, we also communalise men, you're also in there, as she can pick you both!! WIN + WIN = DOUBLE WIN. Socialism at its best.
True Love Waits (until after the second glass of Bailey's), if that's any consolation.
ElfQuest (for ponx):
I have lunch with Ms. Technician next week, as we do from time to time. She asked me out about three years ago; I couldn't hear her due to a tannoy going off, so didn't reply. Then, a year later, I asked her out and she said no. Since then, we meet up from time to time and pretend none of the above has ever happened, which I think is something that could only happen in the UK.
Online has proved to be semi-productive, but generally it's one date and then phut, without developing into anything further. Still, these things happen.
If I wanted to meet women through politics, I wouldn't have joined the League of Cold War Relics. Possibly these things are handled better by the ultra-left.
Apparently there's some new app called Siren, where you (just for heteros at the mo, and just in the US, though they are working on an LGBT version), post your pic and some answers to silly questions and, if you are a woman and you like what you see, you can get in touch and message one another. Men can't message women without prior contact, I think.
They've trademarked the phrase 'Go ahead - charm someone's pants off', so maybe you can sue them if that doesn't happen! Thrills.
I raise a clenched fist in salute to you, and fezzes.
As an interlude, courtesy of last weekend's mega 2nd hand book sale:
Comrade Joker 1: "'Scuse me, but do you have the Enver Hoxha cookery book?"
Me: "No, but in how many ways can you cook Enver Hoxha, anyway?"
That's as good as it's going to get, I'm afraid.
Yep. Nearer Bradford, but not far away. You're up near York?
There's a big one in Leeds.
Goulash soup sounds tasty.
I wondered what the proper name for that sort of hat was, and now I know.
That's my excuse for wearing a fez, too. F***ing internationalism, not to mention solidarity with little monkeys forced to slave away for NOTHING by villainous, capitalist organ grinders all over the world. FOR INTERNATIONAL SIMIAN UNITY!
Does anyone actually sleep in their bra? That should've been the mystery of that House episode.
You could sleep in someone else's bra, if you were very small. Would probably be quite comfy...
People are used to me asking stupid questions and I want to know the answer to this, but trying to find a way of asking it without getting a well-deserved smack around the chops has stumped me temporarily.