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Mordant Spire Elf

Limeylongears's page

Pathfinder Society Member. 785 posts (2,940 including aliases). No reviews. 2 lists. No wishlists. 2 Pathfinder Society characters. 33 aliases.


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Psyche for Psaturday! (nearly)

Ultimate Spinach

Some nice moments and a lot of psychedelib*llocks, as might be expected.


Me too, though I was looking forward to a bit of border reiving. Still, there's always Lancashire.


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Well, we'll find out which way it's gone at breakfast time. Exit polls suggest the 'No' side might have a very narrow lead.

I live in the Danelaw, so I should get to vote in Danish elections, which sounds like a euphemism.

"What are you doing in those bushes, sir?"

"Er, I'm voting in Danish elections, officer"

"Pull up your trousers and come with me, please"


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I blame Cosmo for the fact that the 2.5kg jar of pickled onions I bought won't fit in my fridge.


Kitchen design Manchester


Orfamay Quest wrote:


You are assuming a lot more active role for Westminster than may be justified. An independent Scotland is under no obligation to pay attention to Westminster up to the point where Betty Windsor decides to send in the Coldstream Guards.... and I don't see that happening.

A pretty large proportion of the Army is Scottish...

I think, if independence does occur, it will be an SNP/Labour duopoly, though Labour will suffer as a result of their calling for a 'No' votes. The Lib Dems have a bit of a presence in the Highlands/Islands but not much in the urban areas (so far as I know) - be interesting to see who forms the opposition if Labour does diminish to any degree (Greens? SSP?)


If it results in more devolution of powers and a slightly less London-centric economy/political setup, it'll be a good thing whichever way it goes (not holding my breath, though). I would be very happy in theory with a federal republic; getting that to work in practice would be a struggle, I imagine.


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What would happen if you made it with Cheetos or, say, Space Invaders? Would you die?


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Obvious place to look...

I'm reading Smuggling Under Sail in the Red Sea, by Henri de Montfried. Penthouse called it 'A romantic and inspiring saga of daring and excitement'.

Also bought War in Teythr by Victor Milan for a quid. Might or might not be worth it.


'Raven 2: A Time of Ghosts'. A cheesy S&S revenge tale, with the heroine indulging herself with both genders and going into battle nude except for a pair of leather garters, if the cover is anything to go by. I liked it, no doubt for all the wrong reasons.


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The Allah-Las

Derivative? Maybe. Don't care.


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It would be preposterous - if we were talking about anyone except Cosmo. He has Powers the nature of which we can only guess at - IF WE DARE.

I have never tried to herd soldiers either, but I imagine cats might be easier, in a way, seeing as they don't have rifles or main battle tanks.


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Reginald Peabody IV, esquire wrote:
my Avatar says i'm fond of Tea Time, as well as Fox Hunts and exclaiming "My Word!" and "Indeed!" or "good show Jeffrey!!" maybe a "wot wot" here or there.

Stereotypical Swede, in other words.


Astral Wanderer wrote:

Can I exploit this thread for advice?

I'm really desperate in finding some book I might like, so recommend me some books, if you may, knowing the following:

3) I love dark and alien things, and lovecraftian things in a medieval setting (in opposition to Lovecraft's effective setting of the XIX century).

Have a go at a bit of Clark Ashton Smith


Zookeeper's songbook.

Hold The Lion.
Lion Eyes.
Giraffe, You Lonesome Tonight?
Instant Llama
Camel Together
Willie the Chimp, Chimpin' Ain't Easy, etc.
Gin and Gnus.
In a Sentimental Moose.
Sittin' on a Duck in the Bay
I'm a Seal Man
The Sound of Seal's Ends
Iguana Know What Love Is.

And in the soon-to-be-jailed Zookeeper's songbook:

All in all, you're just another d*ck in the Walrus


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Cosmo's
Army of
Tailed
Servitors?


"I suppose the royalties from 'Smooth Operator' wouldn't last forever, would they?"

"No. Still, her French tent hire business is doing well, which is nice. Look! There's an advertising billboard right over there!"

"Oh yeah. Er... Why is that woman in the rubber thigh boots doing... those things... to that Frenchman with those whips... and those squashes... and that pressure hose... and the corn syrup?"

"Corporate branding. The adverts have to be themed to match the company name,

which is:
Marquees De Sade

"Oh."


Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
I blame Cosmo for only now discovering one of the cats is a superpowered villain. She parked herself in front of her usual chair but refused to jump up, instead staring at me contentedly and happily blocking the aisle. So I bent down and picked her up, only to discover she is the newest incarnation of Graviton; she increased her gravitational attraction by at least an order of magnitude, wrenching my back. The locking & jerking spasms have subsided enough I was only able to slowly stand up a few minutes ago, but even with the naproxen and acetaminophen it is almost excruciating... it hurt less after I fell down that flight of stairs a couple years ago.

You haven't been feeding them Starmetal again, have you?

(nb: Hope you're OK, or at least recovering...)


Samnell wrote:
Limeylongears wrote:

I could make some suggestions from nineteenth century American political writing if you really want to corrupt your internal monologue. Sometimes it's very darkly funny when a random proslavery argument just pops into your head, with most of the key phrases as direct quotes.

Does make me very happy that telepathy isn't real, though. I'm socially unacceptable enough without the extra help.

Hum. The mental indigestion I got from reading Nesta Webster was bad enough (or when somebody lent me William Cooper's 'Behold A Pale Horse'... Or when I made the mistake of reading the Protocols... Or the SCUM manifesto... At least that was kind of funny. Or a book by someone called Frances Cress Wilson (?) who claimed that white people put up Christmas trees with brightly coloured baubles on because they secretly want to castrate black men)

And Zofraya the Moor is male, so sorry for raising false hopes.


The neighbours have already called the Police once this year, because they thought I was dead (I wasn't). I don't think that would worry them. The cunning devils (cats, not neighbours, although... Waaait a moment...) always do it while I'm asleep, though, so tit might not work. I shall buy a replica of the Giant Rat of Sumatra instead and put that in the back garden . That'll learn 'em.


Judy Bauer wrote:
Limeylongears wrote:
Edda
Limey, are you familiar with the work of Benjamin Bagby? He just released a recording of the Edda that's an attempt to recreate the original performance style. I've been listening to it while I edit to keep my cube extra heroic.

I have not - one more to add to the list now, so thanks! Reading some inter-war military lunatic's butchering of it has made me want to seek out the original, which is on Project Gutenberg, in various forms...

Have finished 'Battlefield Yorkshire', which was an eye-opener. Now started 'Zofroya, or the Moor', by Charlotte Dacre. Byron liked it, probably because of the interracial Lesbian/semi-Sadean elements that the blurb on the back alludes to, though seeing how those two themes blend will be interesting.


I haven't, but I'll keep my eyes peeled for that one. Thanks!

Just to be clear, I don't find myself thinking while reading Thongor, "Yeah, it's *OK*, but how, how I wish there was more genocidal racism in it" I imagine I'd be pretty disturbed if I ever read, say, The Turner Diaries


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While I applaud his initiative and entrepreneurship, I really wish Cosmo hadn't decided to redevelop my back garden as West Yorkshire Pussycats' Toilet World.


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Vive le Pays Maudit!

I bagged a beaut' today at the flea market - the British Edda, by L A Waddell. Unbeknownst to anyone except L.A., the Icelandic prose eddas were actually written in British, and tell the story of Thor (who IS Adam, who IS Mithra, who IS St George) and his efforts to bring manly Aryan civilisation to the world. It also turns out that the Sumerians were Goths, as were/are both the Welsh and the Anglo-Saxons, that the story of the garden of Eden is actually a corrupted account of a battle between cloth-wearing Thorean goths and fur-wearing Odinite worshippers of the Serpent-Wolf cult and that Christianity was a dreadful thing until it passed out of the hands of pesky Semites and into the clean-limbed grasp of flaxen-haired noble Northmen. Reads like a fascist rip-off of Thongor, with extra poetry. A biog of the author can be found here, which puts things into perspective.

Also, while I was sitting down with a small sherry and a copy of A La Recherche du Temps Perdu, someone snuck into my house, snatched the book out of my hands and replaced it with 'Priest-Kings of Gor'! I am very annoyed.


OKell's Aile (?), a porter from the Isle of Man, which is an odd place, should you ever visit it. Anyway, quite nice - very smoky-tasting - and I'm drinking it out of a deity-blasted pewter tankard, too, in true folk singer style.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

On a slightly different topic, I blame Cosmo for the fact that the moustache wax I bought makes my face smell like the inside of an empty wardrobe.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Zalatnay Sarolta ‎– Hadd Mondjam El


Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:
Limeylongears wrote:
I read Marriage and Love by Emma Goldman this week,

Goin' all stream-of-consciousness, Elizabeth Gurley Flynn, who probably rubbed shoulders with Emma back in the day, but I can't be sure, was once asked by a bourgeois journalist whether she believed in "Free Love" to which she replied, "As opposed to what? Slave love?"

Goblins do it in the streets!

Speaking of which, Behold! A message from Wonder Norm!

Spoiler:
Gor is a continent in science fiction. Many may wish it did not exist, but it is there.

It is not hard to find, really. Just look for a world that lies a thousand degrees north of monothink, a thousand degrees east of orthodoxy, a thousand degrees west of ideological conformity, a continent far from the placid waters of predictable mediocrity, a different world, one real, one like no other, one beyond the familiar world’s horizon, one emergent from far, tumultuous, untamed seas, a world alert to deep currents, which listens to secret whispers, which wears stars in her hair.

The maps of ideologically servile cartographers may choose not to show the Gorean world, but it is there, a wonderful, forbidden continent. Some of you know her, and have been there.

I think he may have meant to have written 'cheese' rather than 'seas', but nonetheless...


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Including the 'Glory, Glory Hallelujah, Teacher hit me with a ruler' variation, or the 'They rubbed him up with camphorated oil, camphor-amphor-amphorated' one?

I read Marriage and Love by Emma Goldman this week, and have started on the Satyricon, in which two polysexual Romans go around stealing stuff. 'Salright, I suppose.


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I blame Cosmo for witholding the tens of dollars with which the makers of Barbarian Queen II could have purchased:

Real cardboard swords
A plot
Genuine Hollywood overacting, and
Functional upper body garments for the female members of the cast.


Ballettirosadimacchio at the moment.


Gullivar of Mars was... alright; interesting to see which bits ERB might have been, er, inspired by, and it was short, but really of historical value only, I think. Swords of Mars, by the man himself, which I read today, was fab (of course).


They're all mid '80s Fall albums, I think.


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It's all consensual.

'Do as you would be done by' is my motto.

2013's English moustache champ was an AMERICAN!

The organisers of the above competition also seem to believe that Wales is part of England, which means they should probably avoid going out after dark in Swansea. Come to think of it, that's sensible advice for anybody...


I cannot comment at this stage of the research.


I second that. Add Lin Carter's Jandar books, simply because of the tremendous fun he obviously had writing them (hard sci-fi? Not hard sci-fi?)

I'd put forward Iain M. Banks or Ken MacLeod, personally, but those may not be to everyone's taste.


Lucozade makes a very excellent moustache stiffener.


Was that story followed by footage of the inhabitants running for the shadows while yelling "AGH! AGH! THE YELLOW FACE! IT BURNSES US!" ?

or in Internet Norwegian:

AGH! AGH! DEN GULE FACE! DET BRENNER OSS!


Hitdice wrote:
Two and a half consecutive hours? Isn't that like your whole monthly allotment in the UK?

Certainly looks like it, if today is anything to go by...

Early night tonight. Considering whether to start reading all the Fafhrd & Grey Mouser books in sequence or carry on with Outlaws of the Marsh as a nightcap. We'll see.


Orthos wrote:

Finished Master of Devils and have started on Queen of Thorns.

On the one hand, yay Radovan and Varian (and Arnisant!). On the other hand... elves.

Elves make everything better.

Two and a half consecutive hours of sunshine on Saturday enabled me to go outside and finish of Black Legions of Callisto by Lin Carter (smashing, of course) and Swords of the Barbarians by Kenneth Bulmer. Ken was having a bit of an off-day with that one, I think - also features a tonne of totally non-gratuitous nudity in the shape of a sexy female sorceress who can only cast spells when compleeeetly naked. Most of the book is taken up with her in various stages of undress, desperately trying to take her shoes off in order to save the day while her twin brother hews through legions of mooks in time-honoured fashion. C-.


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Sugarcane's Got the Blues, by Don 'Sugarcane' Harris. Grabs you right from the first note.


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Longears Investigation Bureau are proud to present THE SECRET HISTORY OF COSMO, or 'Cosmo's Cosmic Adventure', as found on page 60 of what is either the scratch 'n' sniff edition of the Book of Skelos or Dragon #197. Please note that we have only reproduced the less sanity-shattering items detailed in those dread paragraphs and a certain amount of redaction has had to take place in order to keep things even slightly family-friendly.

Background:

Before September 1993, Cosmo was a cheery, cheeky little leprechaun, skipping around Fairyland in a fez, a ginger chinstrap beard, nipple tassels and nothing else, comforting lonely kittens, distributing rainbow candy and hatching madcap schemes to solve complete strangers' romantic contretemps. Then, one day, his Fairy Line Manager (who was jealous of his success) hatched a villainous scheme to replace him as head of the Lollipop Guild, sending him on a Cosmic Adventure without informing him that it was also part of his annual review, the fiend. When Cosmo came back, his Line Manager gathered the happy-go-lucky fey's friends and family together and proceeded to read out his assessment of our hero's performance. Since Cosmo had been away on his Cosmic Adventure, who could contradict the Manager (who looks and sounds like Alan Rickman, only with butterfly wings and a translucent tutu. So exactly like Alan Rickman, in other words) when damning sentence followed damning sentence, leading up to the final devastating conclusion:

"Unfortunately, COSMO IS A FAILURE!"

Tears of mortification pouring in torrents down his elfin features, Cosmo ran from the room, leaving fairyland forever and pledging henceforth to only use his powers for Evil.

That quote is reproduced verbatim, and amongst the soul-searing secrets revealed within, we learn that ..."Cosmo is... IBM compatible". IBM, in this instance, stands for Imp's Bum Mustard, Fairyland's best selling condiment. Our agents opted not to pursue this line of enquiry any further.

We also discover that "(Cosmo) eat(s) fruit and stars, and bounce(s) on the heads of squiggly alien monsters". Perhaps his co-workers at Paizo would be best placed to comment on this.

In addition, "Cosmo has... eye-plants that follow your every move... (He) parades back and forth but takes breaks to slaver and threaten... (He) progresses from level to level, bouncing on top of monsters, eating fruit and collecting (...) rather ineffective bombs..."

Shocking stuff. Image Here, for those of adamantine will. It would suggest that Cosmo is one of the fell Serpent Kings of ancient Lemuria, which explains a great deal.


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I likes elves. And I probably should wear an elaborately carved mask at all times, even if I don't.

Also, as the elven inhabitants of the Mordant Spire are the (self-proclaimed) heirs to the treasures of the Azlanti, so we in the Breetish Isles are the inheritors of the fabled secrets of Sunken Atlantis, which is why we rule the world in secret. Just ask Lyndon LaRouche.


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Ornette Coleman - Science Fiction

I seem to remember this LP having an Indian vocalist on it, but no evidence of her so far...

Also, this is my favourite video of all time (at the moment). Thankyou, Nicki.


Huzzah!

The only time I got complaints was when I lent a fellow traveller a CD of Cornelius Cardew's Maoist white reggae band, which, to be fair, is dreadful (the white reggae bits, anyway - when they stick to jazz, they're average to pretty good...)


My best ever was an LP consisting of recordings of steam trains with mechanical defects, from all over the world. A) Who would bother taping something like that, and B) even if they did, who would buy it (unless it was 50p in a charity shop) ? It actually sounds like avant-garde percussion music (Varese or something) - not bad, but still...


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The second of those is actually true.

Mary Poppins was originally called 'Morvel I. Rocwell', but that got cut in production for being too obvious an anagram of Oliver Cromwell.

Illegal Puritan tracts used to be distributed by itinerant birdseed sellers, for 'Tuppence a Bag', an event commemorated by the song 'Feed the Birds'

'Chim Chim Cheree' shows why the Revolution was necessary, since before the execution of Charles I, everybody used to speak like Dick Van D~!~.

Incidentally, should you watch the film with the sound off while listening to New Model Army's greatest hits, you will be very bored and develop a severe headache.

However, staying on topic. Sid James of the 'Carry On' films was apparently born Solomon Joel Cohen, in South Africa, in 1913. That *is* true, and I had absolutely no idea.


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Treppa wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
Treppa wrote:
I'm stressed, so currently reading an Agatha Christie mystery. It's mind candy. Sue me.

I have a soft spot for Agatha Christie. They just don't write mysteries like that anymore. Murder is so much cooler when it is committed by rich people in a setting containing a finite number of people, all of whom have motives.

If I'm ever murdered, I hope it is like that.

I really enjoyed them and was disappointed to find only two Christie mysteries available on Project Gutenberg.

And I'm sure that can be arranged, CH.

Poll: In general, would we all prefer to be a) slain by a little-known South American poison that is instantly fatal and defies detection or b) transfixed by a dagger of oriental design?

Got Gulliver of Mars by Edwin L. Arnold off Project Gutenberg, myself. Looking forward to it!


Today I made the fantastic NAAN BREAD PIZZA!

One garlic naan, with a mixture of tomato paste and (a very little) olive oil smeared on top and cheese grated over that. 5 minutes under the grill and ready to eat!

Also added chili sauce; may leave it out next time.


Orc Minion 21 wrote:
Thanks Grummash for letting me live in your new basement, can i have something to cover my bare lightbulb?

Fawful's swallowed it, by the looks of things...

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