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Mordant Spire Elf

Limeylongears's page

Pathfinder Society Member. 626 posts (2,546 including aliases). No reviews. 2 lists. No wishlists. 2 Pathfinder Society characters. 25 aliases.

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3 people marked this as a favorite.

Cosmo fires up the steam-powered Cosmograph and calls the UK

Cosmo: Hello! Hellohello! Agent 666349! Come in Agent 666349! Do you read me?

Limey's Next Door Neighbour's Cat Eh? Wait a minute... H'mmmno. That particular part doesn't require any more licking. Alright. Who is it, and what do you want?

C: It is I, your dark Overlord, and I have a mission for thee! Goest thou into Limey's back garden, find the patch of weeds he is about to pull up with his bare hands and crap right in the middle of it!

LNDNC Yeah, but I'm sleep -


LNDNC OK, OK. (mutters under his breath)Anything for a quiet life

*Scampers off on his errand of misery, Cosmo cackling down the Cosmograph in the background*

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
Limeylongears wrote:
Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:

I was rewatching it over my comrades' house last night. Not a "higher rate" but "twice the rate" of female orgasm.

Ladies, if you're interested, we're recruiting.

Talk about Stalinian deviations, as I believe you people like to, there they are.

For the record, I have never, not even once, used the word "Stalinian" in all my life. Also, I'm not a people, I'm a goblin!!!

Fill your hand, elf!

En garde! Foutez le camp! Zut Simms! L'honneur de la Troisième Internationale doit rester intacte!

Start using it, little green phenomenon, and find peace and tranquility the WRP way. Or, if you prefer, guzzle a bucketful of pickles 'n' Buckfast and go and set fire to your feet (or someone else's. So long as it's consensual, everything's fine)

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:

I was rewatching it over my comrades' house last night. Not a "higher rate" but "twice the rate" of female orgasm.

Ladies, if you're interested, we're recruiting.

Talk about Stalinian deviations, as I believe you people like to, there they are.

Bedtime reading at the mo consists of a second run through Outlaws of the Marsh. Good, wholesome, manly, Confucian stuff without so much of a veiled hint of nipples, if you can have a veiled hint of nipples. It sounds like a Strawberry Alarm Clock lyric, so maybe you can.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

It's bard time again, and I've used some sort of 4e power to automatically gain an audience with the local baron

DM: "And Lord XX is so impressed with what he's heard about Kezia's beautiful singing that he agrees to see the party..."

Me: "Actually, her act consists of her blowing up balloons with her a*se"

DM: "OK, he's so impressed with what he's heard about Kezia blowing up balloons with her bum that he agrees to see the party"

Me: "I'd be impressed too. Does she get a Diplomacy bonus?"


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Krensky wrote:

Why on earth would we want a country populated almost entirely with criminals, yobos, and nuts?

I mean, we already have one.

That's what we thought, and that's why we deliberately lost the War of Independence and dispensed with the USA. Deliberately, do you hear, just so we didn't embarrass all the other nations of the world.

Why not an elected king? For that matter, why don't we Proddies get ourselves a nice Pope to be going on with? Regarding the first point, we'd be stuck with whoever the US electorate chose for us and anyway [devastating satire] all our government's important decisions are already made for them in Washington or Brussels anyway [/devastating satire] so there'd be no point. What I say is NO GODS NO MASTERS, and if we must, can we please have either:

1) A statue of Stalin carved out of earwax
2) A Lemmy impersonator
3) Half a Rhinoceros
4) Christina Hendricks, wearing nothing but woad and pretending to be Bodeicia, standing in a wheelbarrow with scythes on the side pulled by four dozen ducks. Thanks!

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:

Although, hobbitses still treat d4s and Lego as caltrops, and you still have to watch out for bubble gum and doge poopsies and hot sidewalks...

I blame Cosmo for doge poopsies, which brings back bad memories of my time in Venice. Why can't he go in the canals like everybody else?!

3 people marked this as a favorite.

I shared a flan with Rene, just to watch his diet.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Hey, so I was reading the story behind this record and then somebody in a comments section was all like "Bullshiznit! This record was made in 2003 by a bunch of Bevis Frond-listening hippies at Terrastock!"

At the time I bought the comp I first heard 'Orion Awakes' by Golem on (Unknown Deutschland vol 1), whoever reviewed in The Wire (not the TV show) seemed to think that the whole thing had been concocted by Genesis P. Orrige. Maybe, maybe not - even if so, well done Genesis.

My other favourite track on that CD was 'Black Light' by Temple.

Over the past fortnight, I've been listening to Echoes by AR and Machines over and over - Ooh, we love you Achim! - in between digging DA/The Black Goblin's stoner rock finds.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The Eye of Sardis was a champion read, and I badly want the other two volumes; I also polished off The Passion of New Eve by Angela Carter in an evening, which is something that hasn't happened for a while. The first feminist/surrealist/alchemical romance I've ever read, and extremely amazing.

Some interesting stuff in there about the nature of masculinity/femininity that went over my head a bit, but may be of interest to the folks in the LGBT gamers thread, judging by some recent conversations that have gone on there. Or not. I dunno. Me like Ko-nan. Ug.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Fangs, but no fangs.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:

In other news,

Obey the Beard

I'm Generalissimo Longears and I approve this message.

To show my appreciation, here's the correct link to the Mythos album

I was listening to a compilation of stuff from Bob Dylan's Theme Time Radio Hour this afternoon, and my favourite track of the lot was My Walking Stick by Louis Armstrong and the Mills Brothers.

Fist City by Loretta Lynn was also great.

I've also been enjoying Charles Gayle, whose excellent set and interesting interview are both still available via Jazz on 3

Right now, now, I'm listening to David's EP, as referenced above. Neat, and reminds me a bit of Sugar/Bob Mould so far...

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Mythic JMD031 wrote:
I blame Cosmo for there not being any rocket packs.

But there are (or were, potentially) Rocket cats!

I suppose we should blame Cosmo for that as well...

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Those are Paizo branded Shrouded Gloves, so 15x at the least, I'm afraid

I blame Cosmo for making me want to eat mango chutney straight out of the jar with a dessert spoon.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Finished off Lord Macauley, with a slight sigh of relief - now started on:

The Distracted Preacher and Other Tales (Thomas Hardy)

The Eyes of Sarsis (Andrew Offutt and Richard Lyon - has a half-dressed redhead wielding a scimitar on the cover, so has already won my heart)

And I've also been dipping a toe into the strangely scented waters (I hope) of Olympia Press. As to what to get from them next, I'm not sure - torn between Convent Lust Slaves and Clinty Winty Pops It In, which, as you know, is the acclaimed sequel to Clinty Winty Flops It Out.

And Sir Richard Burton's sabre manual, if PDFs count.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
RadiantSophia wrote:

Peter Hammill - The Silent Corner and the Empty Stage

A Louse Is Not A Home
His voice sounds like an apocalypse.

Quite so. I've never heard that album before, which is disgraceful; I am going to buy it as soon as budget allows, though, as it's amaazing.

If they ever make Limey-nip, it will sound like VdGG, look like Kym Kardashian and taste like Stilton. Just throwing that out there.

Golem - Orion Awakes

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Some more stuff:

Snarky Puppy seem to be the jazz crossover stars of the moment (or were, about six months ago), so I decided to have a bit of a listen last weekend. Binky was the one I enjoyed most, since it sounds a bit like 'Fresh Garbage' by Spirit at the start and goes all cyber-funk at the end.

I like the first Mythos album very much too

And The Delines. 'Retro country soul', apparently.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

I'll be gettin' to that Romanian prog soon, Limey!

Vă veți bucura cu siguranță!

I used to really fancy Tanya Donnelly.

And I loved that Dungeons and Dragons film, mainly because it was so majestically dreadful.

Right now, The Afrikan in winter, by Ade Olatunji.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The unsatisfied women of Crewe
Prefer vegetables to me and you
They start off on green beans
When just out of their teens;
By forty, only pumpkins will do.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Refined sugar is very bad for you, Shouting Off Mounties, and I'm going to be charitable and blame a build-up of naughty toxins for this display of pseudo-revolutionary ultra-leftist phrasemongering, the likes of which I have struggled against for all of my 500 year lifespan. It's all too much - soon, soon I will bugger off to Twinkly Island, with the unicorns and the nymphs and Queen Ellesime and Galadriel at the same flipping time. Or, if I'm bad, it'll be nothing but whale meat and Sigur Ros for all eternity.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Savoury pancakes; I fried some smoked bacon, chopped spring onions and mushrooms for a few minutes, then poured pancake mixture over it and left it to solidify. Very nice - intended to save some of it until tomorrow but ate it all instead...

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
... video of The Fall doing "Mr. Pharmacist" and the original, I think.

I always thought that was a Seeds song, purely because I'm a plank and got it confused with Mr Farmer

There was quite a bit of premature squeeing this week when I heard of Zalmoxis by Sfinx, a prog album by a 70s Romanian band named after some ancient thunder god. Premature, since while it's decent, it's not great - not as good as Cantafabulare by Phoenix, anyway. Might have posted that before - don't care.

Also, Gentlemen Very fond of this.

Finally, enjoyed that Electro Harmonix funk record of Drunken_Nomad's a while ago. That's all.

EDIT: No, it isn't. Presenting LES GOTHS!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Yes, he is (and presently being sued by his union, I believe). The SLP never really got off the ground - as with so many of these things, it was somewhat dominated by one man's ego (see also: Respect) and was prey to various people's entryist ambitions (Maoists, too. Maoists!). It does exist, but I've never met a member, and there are very few sects of whom I can say that. Remind me to tell you the rules of Pinko Bingo at some point.

Still, I voted for them once, would happily do so again and might consider joining if I wasn't happy where I was. I'm not fussy.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

"Ohhh, cut down in my prime by a Lochaber axe! Dead! DEAD! DEAAAD!!! Oh, wait. Not dead. Mildly annoyed! Mildly annoyed! Mildly *coughs pathetically* mildly... m... m... mildly... That's it for me... Pongo?"

"Yes, Twinkles?"

"Tell... Tell Mother I love her, and that there is one small forgotten corner of Wee Gaunachuchiemcgowlaing-on-Clyde that is forever England. G... God save the Queen!"

(Expires heroically in a mild huff, then goes home for tea)

Anglo-Scottish conflicts: the musical interlude.

The Flowers of The Forest


Jonnie Cope

See, The Conquering Hero Comes

1 and 3 come from the Scottish point of view, 2 and 4 from the English, so take yer pick.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Male Elf Rogue (pirate) 6/ Gunslinger 2
AC 20,T 16, FF 15; HP 47/47; Fort +5, Ref +14, Will +4

Sekathral "helps" by performing an ancient Ekujae mourning dance, which involves more extended middle fingers and rump-wiggling than one might normally expect to see at a funeral. Most people's funerals, anyway.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Hemingway's favourite beefburger recipe

'Variations on a theme of ground beef', my life.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

For DA (if he hasn't already heard it) - a single by the Black Panther Party's house band:

'Free Bobby Seale Now' by The Lumpen

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:

For Comrade Longears and all other members of the Brotherhood of Inebriated Perverts:

Maybe old news in Ol' Blighty, but another salacious Britishiznoid Trot sex split.

Trotskyite dominatrixes - hours of fun, and also the inspiration for my latest Olympia Press publication, Comrade Mistress! Please see below for a brief excerpt:

Not Safe For Workers Liberty:

Gerry, trembling and pale, strained against his bonds, globules of stinging sweat trickling down his gaunt face. He could hear the click of Commissara's stilettos as she moved closer, closer...

A gloved hand reached out and squeezed him painfully.

"Oh dear. Somebody's prophet's unarmed, isn't he?"

Gerry heard a giggle. There was someone else in the room.

"Of course. The James went out of his P. Cannon long ago!"

Zora! He realised with a horrified thrill who that voice belonged to. Not Zora! Zora, falsely accused of counter-revolutionary semi-bourgeoise obscurantism of for refusing to... Well, the boot was on the other foot now. And such boots...

Commissara's grip tightened then wrenched around as her other hand ripped off the duct tape, releasing his scream. "Well, what have you got to say for yourself, worm?"

"O... On... On the USSR, we reaffirm its character as a degenerated workers’ state; with basic arguments we refute the characterization of “state capitalism” and we refine our programmatic attitude on the question of defense!"

"PABLOITE SCUM!!!" shrieked Zora, kicking out and pinning his tender parts to a table leg with the spiked heel of her thigh boots. She twisted her ankle around, paying no attention at all to his long, wailing cries for mercy, and then the lash came down...

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Got 'The Casebook of Carnacki the Ghost Finder' by William Hope Hodgeson out of the library, seeing as: A, it had a pretty cool title, B, I liked 'The House on the Borderlands' and C, Carnacki has an electric pentacle. That should be the name of a doom metal band; it isn't, but it is the name of a doom metal label, which is close enough. Very gripping - can get a bit formulaic, but 'The Whistling Room' gets five stars, no question.

I also wondered whether or not Olympia Press had a website. They do. You can download Ulysses from them for free, but most of their catalogue is, um, different. Very different. No vampires or dinosaurs, but a 'Not Safe For Anywhere' label might be necessary were I to link to it. So, to maintain your maidenly purity, I won't.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Don't watch much TV, but I'll make an exception for:

House of Fools, which may or may not make sense to many viewers, and

The Musketeers. Evil sexy Spanish ladies in corsets! Sword fights! Jewel thieves! Buff stubbly men in leather! Something for everyone, in other words!

ALso, This is what will happen when CUMMERNISTS take over America (I'm looking at you, DA), so don't say you haven't been warned.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

More hip hop, please, as it leads me to tracks like Hung Up On My Baby.

I've also been enjoying The Cyrkle - such blazers - and The Cowsills, despite the fact that the former is one of the drippiest songs ever recorded. Gateway drug to Donovan.

And this is one of my favourite songs ever, by Renee and Renato. Eet's a lavaly day for seenging, and anyone who doesn't like it is for it come the Revolution.

EDIT Sleep - Jerusalem Geraint's post above reminded me of it.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Kirth Gersen wrote:
Seriously, some of his early efforts, like the Michael Kane series, are total dogs.

I enjoyed those, but then again, I enjoy most Barsoom-a-likes, Gor books excepted. Odd, as a combination of cheesy porn and equally cheesy sword-and-planet ought to be a thing of beauty and a joy forever. Still, nice to know that the line can be drawn somewhere.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Gecause Gi gam gow ge goice of Gruumash. Gi gam got gure ghy gi gave to git gon gis gnee gith gis gand gup gy garse, gut ge gassured ge ghat git gas gessential.

Gi gill gow gead ge Gettysburg Gaddress ghile Gruumash grinks gix gans gof Garlsberg Gecial Grew. Give la Galt!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I blame Cosmo for the fact that I'm going to be skipping about for the next few days singing, "I knew, I knew, I knew, she could make me happee!", thanks to this bunch of singing 10 year olds, up past their bedtimes and certainly *not* supposed to be swanning about singing about girls.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Catherine the Great's dirty furniture collection. NFSW, obvs.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Corum, Elric and Jerry Cornelius made a man out of the young Limey. A peculiarly warped specimen, true, but perhaps we can blame that on overexposure to organophosphates at a young age.

Right now, Derai, by EC Tubb. Sci Fi, and fairly gritty Sci Fi at that (which isn't what I normally go for), but decent all the same.

Also, The Mayor of Casterbridge. I like Hardy.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Limeylongears wrote:
SnowJade wrote:

Ooohhh. When do I get to see this? I'll even bring crumpets. I have fenced, BTW, though it's been awhile. As I seem to recall, boobs are sensitive. Very sensitive. And if someone really comes at you, those teeny little aluminum satellite dish things are for shiznit.

Most of the lady fencers I've spoken to have said the same thing. They do make these moulded sort of body armour things (exactly like breastplates, if you'll excuse the pun) - not sure how much use they are, though, and you get hot enough wearing all your regular gear without having to be strapped into a solid wodge of high impact plastic as well.

Also, I think DA's pony is going to be called

Ted Grant

Wouldn't it be helpful if we all chipped in with suggestions!

2 people marked this as a favorite.
SnowJade wrote:

Actually, for sheer fun, I'd recommend Outlaws of the Marsh, if you haven't already read it.

Vive les Outlaws!

+1 to that. Outlaws of the Marsh is the tops! If only 'they' hadn't taken the TV adaptation off Youtube :(

I read The Moon Pool over the weekend - nice bit of pulpy sci-fi horror with proto bullywugs and a naughty Bolshevik villain. Am also reading Jack Tar by Roy and Lesley Atkins, which is a book about the lives of ordinary sailors in the Royal Navy at the time of the Napoleonic wars. It's based on personal accounts - diaries and what have you - from the time and is utterly fascinating.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

My contribution to Funk For Fridays this week is:

Allah Akbar by Ofo the Black Company

Where are the atheist funk records, eh? >:-(

Been trying to get back into garage, too, which is how I found Nobody But Me by the Human Beinz. At some point, I'll find out how to do all those dances. The results will *not* be pretty.

Let's forget that for a moment and contemplate The Beau Brummels, who are wonderful.

EDIT: 'Version of Nobody But Me' w/Addams Family vid!

3 people marked this as a favorite.

Well, it'll be a long time until I turn into a crumpet-fuelled Whirlwind of Death (or a death-fuelled Whirlwind of Crumpets. I hope), but the answer is probably two or three - military sabre, longsword (used two handed, but not a greatsword), and regular sports fencing sabre, though that's not actually a weapon. Still, it bloody hurts if someone whacks you somewhere unprotected with it. Also have a scimitar, since the techniques are similar in some ways to sabre (as far as I can see - no manuals to speak of, though there are some neato tulwar videos on Youtube). Will no doubt come in handy when the zombies come, since we're not allowed guns over here.

3 people marked this as a favorite.

To put things in context, I am playing a (4e) Tiefling bard called Kezia

Player 1: What sort of bonus do we get to healing surges when resting from her?

GM: +4, but she has to sing you a song.

Me: What song?

PLayer 2: Cars, by Gary Numan

Me: What's a car?

GM: He meant carts.

GM: 'Here in my Cart'. Now *sing*!

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Not from the same album, but: Tuli running around downtown NYC bothering with an assault rifle, bothering bankers and Black Panthers alike.

Yay Tuli! And I realise, watching that, that I bear a certain resemblance to the Master.

But at the moment, what I'm asking myself is:

Where have all the good times gone?

Talking about the good times...

Good times!

Main listening this week, however, has been the second Agitation Free album

1 person marked this as a favorite.


Terrible video quality, but who cares...


And Album of the year (2013) from Sons of Kemet - thanks to my sister for getting it for me for Xmas!

And those Kourosh Yaghmaei tracks...

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Lightminder was recently in a nudist production of The Count of Monte Cristo and received rave reviews for his Danglars.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

An EP (mini LP?) by Moon Wiring Club which is freaking me out a bit, to be honest.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Who are you calling a landlubber, Suzi Squat-ro?

Inner Sea World Guide wrote:
...but the elves' impossibly quick vessels make short work of those who dare defy their frighteningly masked commanders

Frighteningly masked, you see. So there. *thrrppp!*

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Innis & Gunn Oak Aged Beer.

Comes in 750ml bottles and is far, far too easy to drink.

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Lord Dice wrote:
So what, we're all just supposed ignore industrial progress in favor of pastoral pipe dream?

M'mm. You'd know all about that, wouldn't you? I've seen you and the Comte playing at shepherdesses in the woods (or playing with shepherdesses. Whatevs). The photos came out beautifully, just so you know, which is why I got first go at delousing the chambermaids on Christmas day this year. Ha HA!

John Kretzer wrote:

I am confused by this support from the little communist goblins...

1) This is a victory of private property over the 'needs' of the state.

2) Of course the article does not mention the 1000s of greenskins goblins who lost out on their union jobs of building a road.

1) Whose state, comrade - whose state?

2) They're building the ROAD TO SOCIALISM INSTEAD!!! Or possibly setting fire to it. Hard to tell.

EDIT: Ninja'd by DA. Curses!

EDIT 2: Who let that dwarf in?

2 people marked this as a favorite.

The song Quiche Lisp keeps in his heart and sings to himself to make the world seem a sunnier, happier place is the words 'Spanking Pazuzu' sung to the tune of 'Waltzing Matilda', over and over again, in Cyndi Lauper's voice.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Green and Grey, Unite and, er, Spay!
Green and Wood, Unite and Protrude!
Green and High, Unite with Pie!
Green and Drow, Unite and Glow!

Strength through demihuman/humanoid joint struggle! We salute the stalwart proletarian Olven masses of Iceland! Long live Chairman Melf! Long live Marxist-Leninist-Calistrianite thought!

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