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Cosmo fires up the steam-powered Cosmograph and calls the UK
Cosmo: Hello! Hellohello! Agent 666349! Come in Agent 666349! Do you read me?
Limey's Next Door Neighbour's Cat Eh? Wait a minute... H'mmmno. That particular part doesn't require any more licking. Alright. Who is it, and what do you want?
C: It is I, your dark Overlord, and I have a mission for thee! Goest thou into Limey's back garden, find the patch of weeds he is about to pull up with his bare hands and crap right in the middle of it!
LNDNC Yeah, but I'm sleep -
C: IN THE NAME OF BESHABA I COMMAND THEE!
LNDNC OK, OK. (mutters under his breath)Anything for a quiet life
*Scampers off on his errand of misery, Cosmo cackling down the Cosmograph in the background*
Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
En garde! Foutez le camp! Zut Simms! L'honneur de la Troisième Internationale doit rester intacte!
Start using it, little green phenomenon, and find peace and tranquility the WRP way. Or, if you prefer, guzzle a bucketful of pickles 'n' Buckfast and go and set fire to your feet (or someone else's. So long as it's consensual, everything's fine)
Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:
Talk about Stalinian deviations, as I believe you people like to, there they are.
Bedtime reading at the mo consists of a second run through Outlaws of the Marsh. Good, wholesome, manly, Confucian stuff without so much of a veiled hint of nipples, if you can have a veiled hint of nipples. It sounds like a Strawberry Alarm Clock lyric, so maybe you can.
It's bard time again, and I've used some sort of 4e power to automatically gain an audience with the local baron
DM: "And Lord XX is so impressed with what he's heard about Kezia's beautiful singing that he agrees to see the party..."
Me: "Actually, her act consists of her blowing up balloons with her a*se"
DM: "OK, he's so impressed with what he's heard about Kezia blowing up balloons with her bum that he agrees to see the party"
Me: "I'd be impressed too. Does she get a Diplomacy bonus?"
That's what we thought, and that's why we deliberately lost the War of Independence and dispensed with the USA. Deliberately, do you hear, just so we didn't embarrass all the other nations of the world.
Why not an elected king? For that matter, why don't we Proddies get ourselves a nice Pope to be going on with? Regarding the first point, we'd be stuck with whoever the US electorate chose for us and anyway [devastating satire] all our government's important decisions are already made for them in Washington or Brussels anyway [/devastating satire] so there'd be no point. What I say is NO GODS NO MASTERS, and if we must, can we please have either:
1) A statue of Stalin carved out of earwax
Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:
I blame Cosmo for doge poopsies, which brings back bad memories of my time in Venice. Why can't he go in the canals like everybody else?!
Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
At the time I bought the comp I first heard 'Orion Awakes' by Golem on (Unknown Deutschland vol 1), whoever reviewed in The Wire (not the TV show) seemed to think that the whole thing had been concocted by Genesis P. Orrige. Maybe, maybe not - even if so, well done Genesis.
My other favourite track on that CD was 'Black Light' by Temple.
The Eye of Sardis was a champion read, and I badly want the other two volumes; I also polished off The Passion of New Eve by Angela Carter in an evening, which is something that hasn't happened for a while. The first feminist/surrealist/alchemical romance I've ever read, and extremely amazing.
Some interesting stuff in there about the nature of masculinity/femininity that went over my head a bit, but may be of interest to the folks in the LGBT gamers thread, judging by some recent conversations that have gone on there. Or not. I dunno. Me like Ko-nan. Ug.
Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:
I'm Generalissimo Longears and I approve this message.
To show my appreciation, here's the correct link to the Mythos album
I was listening to a compilation of stuff from Bob Dylan's Theme Time Radio Hour this afternoon, and my favourite track of the lot was My Walking Stick by Louis Armstrong and the Mills Brothers.
Fist City by Loretta Lynn was also great.
Right now, now, I'm listening to David's EP, as referenced above. Neat, and reminds me a bit of Sugar/Bob Mould so far...
Finished off Lord Macauley, with a slight sigh of relief - now started on:
The Distracted Preacher and Other Tales (Thomas Hardy)
The Eyes of Sarsis (Andrew Offutt and Richard Lyon - has a half-dressed redhead wielding a scimitar on the cover, so has already won my heart)
And I've also been dipping a toe into the strangely scented waters (I hope) of Olympia Press. As to what to get from them next, I'm not sure - torn between Convent Lust Slaves and Clinty Winty Pops It In, which, as you know, is the acclaimed sequel to Clinty Winty Flops It Out.
And Sir Richard Burton's sabre manual, if PDFs count.
Quite so. I've never heard that album before, which is disgraceful; I am going to buy it as soon as budget allows, though, as it's amaazing.
If they ever make Limey-nip, it will sound like VdGG, look like Kym Kardashian and taste like Stilton. Just throwing that out there.
Some more stuff:
Snarky Puppy seem to be the jazz crossover stars of the moment (or were, about six months ago), so I decided to have a bit of a listen last weekend. Binky was the one I enjoyed most, since it sounds a bit like 'Fresh Garbage' by Spirit at the start and goes all cyber-funk at the end.
I like the first Mythos album very much too
And The Delines. 'Retro country soul', apparently.
Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
Vă veți bucura cu siguranță!
I used to really fancy Tanya Donnelly.
And I loved that Dungeons and Dragons film, mainly because it was so majestically dreadful.
Right now, The Afrikan in winter, by Ade Olatunji.
Refined sugar is very bad for you, Shouting Off Mounties, and I'm going to be charitable and blame a build-up of naughty toxins for this display of pseudo-revolutionary ultra-leftist phrasemongering, the likes of which I have struggled against for all of my 500 year lifespan. It's all too much - soon, soon I will bugger off to Twinkly Island, with the unicorns and the nymphs and Queen Ellesime and Galadriel at the same flipping time. Or, if I'm bad, it'll be nothing but whale meat and Sigur Ros for all eternity.
Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
... video of The Fall doing "Mr. Pharmacist" and the original, I think.
I always thought that was a Seeds song, purely because I'm a plank and got it confused with Mr Farmer
There was quite a bit of premature squeeing this week when I heard of Zalmoxis by Sfinx, a prog album by a 70s Romanian band named after some ancient thunder god. Premature, since while it's decent, it's not great - not as good as Cantafabulare by Phoenix, anyway. Might have posted that before - don't care.
Also, Gentlemen Very fond of this.
Finally, enjoyed that Electro Harmonix funk record of Drunken_Nomad's a while ago. That's all.
EDIT: No, it isn't. Presenting LES GOTHS!
Yes, he is (and presently being sued by his union, I believe). The SLP never really got off the ground - as with so many of these things, it was somewhat dominated by one man's ego (see also: Respect) and was prey to various people's entryist ambitions (Maoists, too. Maoists!). It does exist, but I've never met a member, and there are very few sects of whom I can say that. Remind me to tell you the rules of Pinko Bingo at some point.
Still, I voted for them once, would happily do so again and might consider joining if I wasn't happy where I was. I'm not fussy.
"Ohhh, cut down in my prime by a Lochaber axe! Dead! DEAD! DEAAAD!!! Oh, wait. Not dead. Mildly annoyed! Mildly annoyed! Mildly *coughs pathetically* mildly... m... m... mildly... That's it for me... Pongo?"
"Tell... Tell Mother I love her, and that there is one small forgotten corner of Wee Gaunachuchiemcgowlaing-on-Clyde that is forever England. G... God save the Queen!"
(Expires heroically in a mild huff, then goes home for tea)
Anglo-Scottish conflicts: the musical interlude.
1 and 3 come from the Scottish point of view, 2 and 4 from the English, so take yer pick.
Male Elf Rogue (pirate) 6/ Gunslinger 2
AC 20,T 16, FF 15; HP 47/47; Fort +5, Ref +14, Will +4
Sekathral "helps" by performing an ancient Ekujae mourning dance, which involves more extended middle fingers and rump-wiggling than one might normally expect to see at a funeral. Most people's funerals, anyway.
Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:
Trotskyite dominatrixes - hours of fun, and also the inspiration for my latest Olympia Press publication, Comrade Mistress! Please see below for a brief excerpt:
Not Safe For Workers Liberty:
Gerry, trembling and pale, strained against his bonds, globules of stinging sweat trickling down his gaunt face. He could hear the click of Commissara's stilettos as she moved closer, closer...
A gloved hand reached out and squeezed him painfully.
"Oh dear. Somebody's prophet's unarmed, isn't he?"
Gerry heard a giggle. There was someone else in the room.
"Of course. The James went out of his P. Cannon long ago!"
Zora! He realised with a horrified thrill who that voice belonged to. Not Zora! Zora, falsely accused of counter-revolutionary semi-bourgeoise obscurantism of for refusing to... Well, the boot was on the other foot now. And such boots...
Commissara's grip tightened then wrenched around as her other hand ripped off the duct tape, releasing his scream. "Well, what have you got to say for yourself, worm?"
"O... On... On the USSR, we reaffirm its character as a degenerated workers’ state; with basic arguments we refute the characterization of “state capitalism” and we refine our programmatic attitude on the question of defense!"
"PABLOITE SCUM!!!" shrieked Zora, kicking out and pinning his tender parts to a table leg with the spiked heel of her thigh boots. She twisted her ankle around, paying no attention at all to his long, wailing cries for mercy, and then the lash came down...
Got 'The Casebook of Carnacki the Ghost Finder' by William Hope Hodgeson out of the library, seeing as: A, it had a pretty cool title, B, I liked 'The House on the Borderlands' and C, Carnacki has an electric pentacle. That should be the name of a doom metal band; it isn't, but it is the name of a doom metal label, which is close enough. Very gripping - can get a bit formulaic, but 'The Whistling Room' gets five stars, no question.
I also wondered whether or not Olympia Press had a website. They do. You can download Ulysses from them for free, but most of their catalogue is, um, different. Very different. No vampires or dinosaurs, but a 'Not Safe For Anywhere' label might be necessary were I to link to it. So, to maintain your maidenly purity, I won't.
Don't watch much TV, but I'll make an exception for:
House of Fools, which may or may not make sense to many viewers, and
The Musketeers. Evil sexy Spanish ladies in corsets! Sword fights! Jewel thieves! Buff stubbly men in leather! Something for everyone, in other words!
ALso, This is what will happen when CUMMERNISTS take over America (I'm looking at you, DA), so don't say you haven't been warned.
More hip hop, please, as it leads me to tracks like Hung Up On My Baby.
And this is one of my favourite songs ever, by Renee and Renato. Eet's a lavaly day for seenging, and anyone who doesn't like it is for it come the Revolution.
EDIT Sleep - Jerusalem Geraint's post above reminded me of it.
Kirth Gersen wrote:
Seriously, some of his early efforts, like the Michael Kane series, are total dogs.
I enjoyed those, but then again, I enjoy most Barsoom-a-likes, Gor books excepted. Odd, as a combination of cheesy porn and equally cheesy sword-and-planet ought to be a thing of beauty and a joy forever. Still, nice to know that the line can be drawn somewhere.
Gecause Gi gam gow ge goice of Gruumash. Gi gam got gure ghy gi gave to git gon gis gnee gith gis gand gup gy garse, gut ge gassured ge ghat git gas gessential.
Gi gill gow gead ge Gettysburg Gaddress ghile Gruumash grinks gix gans gof Garlsberg Gecial Grew. Give la Galt!
I blame Cosmo for the fact that I'm going to be skipping about for the next few days singing, "I knew, I knew, I knew, she could make me happee!", thanks to this bunch of singing 10 year olds, up past their bedtimes and certainly *not* supposed to be swanning about singing about girls.
Corum, Elric and Jerry Cornelius made a man out of the young Limey. A peculiarly warped specimen, true, but perhaps we can blame that on overexposure to organophosphates at a young age.
Right now, Derai, by EC Tubb. Sci Fi, and fairly gritty Sci Fi at that (which isn't what I normally go for), but decent all the same.
Also, The Mayor of Casterbridge. I like Hardy.
Most of the lady fencers I've spoken to have said the same thing. They do make these moulded sort of body armour things (exactly like breastplates, if you'll excuse the pun) - not sure how much use they are, though, and you get hot enough wearing all your regular gear without having to be strapped into a solid wodge of high impact plastic as well.
Also, I think DA's pony is going to be called
Wouldn't it be helpful if we all chipped in with suggestions!
+1 to that. Outlaws of the Marsh is the tops! If only 'they' hadn't taken the TV adaptation off Youtube :(
I read The Moon Pool over the weekend - nice bit of pulpy sci-fi horror with proto bullywugs and a naughty Bolshevik villain. Am also reading Jack Tar by Roy and Lesley Atkins, which is a book about the lives of ordinary sailors in the Royal Navy at the time of the Napoleonic wars. It's based on personal accounts - diaries and what have you - from the time and is utterly fascinating.
My contribution to Funk For Fridays this week is:
Where are the atheist funk records, eh? >:-(
Been trying to get back into garage, too, which is how I found Nobody But Me by the Human Beinz. At some point, I'll find out how to do all those dances. The results will *not* be pretty.
Let's forget that for a moment and contemplate The Beau Brummels, who are wonderful.
Well, it'll be a long time until I turn into a crumpet-fuelled Whirlwind of Death (or a death-fuelled Whirlwind of Crumpets. I hope), but the answer is probably two or three - military sabre, longsword (used two handed, but not a greatsword), and regular sports fencing sabre, though that's not actually a weapon. Still, it bloody hurts if someone whacks you somewhere unprotected with it. Also have a scimitar, since the techniques are similar in some ways to sabre (as far as I can see - no manuals to speak of, though there are some neato tulwar videos on Youtube). Will no doubt come in handy when the zombies come, since we're not allowed guns over here.
To put things in context, I am playing a (4e) Tiefling bard called Kezia
Player 1: What sort of bonus do we get to healing surges when resting from her?
GM: +4, but she has to sing you a song.
Me: What song?
PLayer 2: Cars, by Gary Numan
Me: What's a car?
GM: He meant carts.
GM: 'Here in my Cart'. Now *sing*!
Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
Yay Tuli! And I realise, watching that, that I bear a certain resemblance to the Master.
But at the moment, what I'm asking myself is:
Main listening this week, however, has been the second Agitation Free album