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Mordant Spire Elf

Limeylongears's page

Pathfinder Society Member. 1,069 posts (3,497 including aliases). No reviews. 2 lists. No wishlists. 2 Pathfinder Society characters. 41 aliases.

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2 people marked this as a favorite.
Kajehase wrote:
Continuing with near-death scrapes of Swedish kings: After the Battle of Narva, when king Karl XII went to change into something presumably less blood and gunpowder smelling, it was discovered that a bullet had hit him during the battle, but had been stopped by his cravatte.

Why are there no stats for armoured cravats?!

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:

I don't know if it's the demographic of nerdiness that often goes along with leftism, or if it's something about dudes who are down with women's liberation through socialist revolution, or what, but apparently the male comrades are largely incapable or unwilling to engage in the kind of Mick Jagger-esque rooster-y swagger that appeals to their baser instincts, nor the "slam me against the wall, hold me down" ravishing that, apparently, a great many of them crave, with or without the influence of Fifty Shades of Grey.

Then the solution is clear - read more Gor books! Grunt, grunt, ugh, ugh, male hormones forever.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Topless Dancers of Corfu, by Dick Hyman

By whatwhat?!

A bonus 45 minutes of Dick Hyman

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Limey has come into the office early to open up as he thought people needed to work from eight. Nobody else is here! Truly, the devil makes work for idle hands, uahahaha!

Bird fanciers songbook:

The Most Beautiful Gull in the World
The Rook of Love
Owl Be There
Lil' Starling
I Be Grebe
Falcon By
Reed warblers! Hunh! Good God! (Durdurur) What are they good for? Absolutely, puffins!
Coal Tit Be I'm Falling in Love?
The Hawk of Life
Goose that, girl!
And anything by Vulture Club
Or That Petrel Emotion
As a campaign song for Ros Sparrow's next run for US President.

4 people marked this as a favorite.

Well, *I've* spent the last two days transcribing 30 minute long interviews (in English) with Japanese men about onboard weather routing systems.

Bet you're all jealous.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I read 'First King of Shannara' by Terry Brooks over the weekend, which I didn't like much.

I am also, after a break of several years, trying to finish off the 'Anatomy of Melancholy' by Robert Burton, in between (since one Burton is never enough) having a go at vol. 1 of 'The Land of Midian' by Richard F. Burton.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Now, I'm no expert on the anatomy of... whatever you happen to be... but I'm pretty sure that those aren't your shoulders

Next poster, would you kindly love me, now that I can dance, DANCE, DANCE, DAANCE! WATCH ME NOW, HUNH!

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Kelsey Arwen MacAilbert wrote:
Also, the system is woefully inefficient, because British.

Gleefully inefficient, thankyou ;)

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Male Elf Rogue (pirate) 8/ Gunslinger 3
AC 21,T 17, FF 16; HP 43/43; Fort +6, Ref +14, Will +4

Sekathral walks past the window with a small phanaton wearing a bandana and an obviously fake eyepatch perched on his shoulder.

"Say hello, Mescal", commands the elf, and the phanaton trills, "Bene lightmans, damber mort. Bene lightmans, autem cackler. Bene lightmans, sparking mort"

"Good lad. Have a cricket" says Sekathral, handing Mescal a dried insect. "And don't sh*t down my back this time or I'll scrag you"

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Super fun day at the all-North of England HEMA conference. Learnt lots of things and did some sparring, too. I do now have issues with PF/3E's classification of rapiers as 'light' weapons, though. No they bloody well aren't.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I saw a cheap bag of 'small peppers' at the greengrocers, which I bought, assuming 'small peppers' meant 'small bell peppers'. Took them home, unpacked them, then thought 'Aha! One of these would make a perfect healthy snack for me!', so I picked one up and bit it in half.

I expect you can guess what sort of peppers they actually were.

3 people marked this as a favorite.

Very interesting article about the influence of Murray Bookchin on free Kurdistan, whose militias, of course, are doing the bulk of the fighting against Daesh/IS at present.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

My latest song starts off "I'm a marriage guidance counsellor and I have this to say..." and then goes downhill very rapidly from that point.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Disko für Donnestag!

Immortals - Ultimate Warlord

JImmy Ross - First Time Love Affair

Mr Flagio - Take a Chance

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I am, in fact, Meat Puppet XXXIV.

Sarenrae doesn't want the next poster for a sunbeam.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I've got a copy of 'The Art of Marriage' by Tim & Beverly LaHaye. Apocalyptic Baptist sex tips FTW!

EDIT: Also had two '80s photos of a (fully clothed) previous owner in the back, looking nervous and clutching a snot-green telephone.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Most of Judy Thornton's dialogue in 'Slave Girls of Gor' only really makes sense/can be rendered even more disturbing if you read it in Snarf's voice.

For example:
...He laughed and cried out with pleasure in his triumph over the slave girl. "Yes, master!" I cried. "I am Dina! I am Dina! I clutched him, joyously his. "Dina loves Master!" I wept. "Dina loves Master!"

Try it!

5 people marked this as a favorite.

But thanks to their own unique micro-climates, the east, west and north Orthoses are entirely frost free! :D

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Usual Suspect wrote:
I have at least one character doing the kilt with no skivvies underneath. Proper kilt wear is important. Getting caught with skivvies on under a kilt is a punishable offense you know.

Old joke time:

Inquisitive lady: "Tell me, Hamish, what's worn under the kilt?"

Hamish: "Nothing - it's all in perfect working orderrrr!"

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Krevon sleeps curled up in the left cup of a giant bra.

3 people marked this as a favorite.

OK, Longears, I've done as you asked and it's cost me sore. Now, you creepy demi-human bastard, give me gin! GIN! GIN!! GIIIIIINNNNN!!!!

Rose of the Revolution, for DA, as requested:


Colonel Von Guffenberg smacked his riding crop against one flabby thigh and leered at his prisoner, bound tightly to a artwheel in the burnt-out, roofless barn in which he and his men were bivouacked. Her dark hair, released from the steel helmet under which it had been confined, flowed in a cascade of inky velvet around her slender shoulders and her brown eyes flashed defiance at the porcine Baltic German, an officer in the White armies fighting the revolutionary forces in post WW1 Russia. The Colonel continued. "You are not so saucy now, eh? Of all things - a woman coming up against a German officer and expecting to come out victorious! Well, my little minx, my Freikorps and I will soon show you who's master!"

"Pig!" Spat Commander Principiva Principovich. "You would never have captured me if it wasn't for that fake surrender! So much for the honour of the Von Guffenbergs!"

Her full, sensuous lips curled in contempt, and the colonel's tiny, watery blue eyes narrowed. He grunted furiously:

"Bolshevik harpy! I shall enjoy taming you!"

He reached out, tearing away Principovich's battledress to reveal the soft, womanly curves beneath. She spat in his eye, and howling with rage, he bent back his arms to lash her across the face with his riding crop - then CRASH!

The door burst open, and sillhouetted in the cold, steppe morning light stood a burly, shaggy figure, the crimson star of the Red Army blazing from his breast! "Drop that whip or it will be the worse for you, counter-revolutionary dungbeetle!" he roared, and Von Guffenberg, fear-spawned sweat bedewing his pasty jowls, screamed "Guards - seize him!"

The White guards surged forward, only to realise that this was no academy-spawned paper soldier, but a Titan of the revolution, who picked them up and tossed them about as if they were the parcels of mail he had dealt with while working on the Norvyrograd to Smelepilkhi railway! Von Guffenberg pulled out his pistol with a shaky hand and fired wildly, but to no avail - his decadent, enervated physique could not stand up to the rigours of a real battle and the bullets went wide.

The guards were down - the Colonel, cursing foully in his native tongue, futilely pulled the trigger on an empty chamber, his riding britches growing damp and warm. With an exclamation of disgust and contempt, the newcomer drew his arm back and rocketed a hefty proletarian fist into the Teuton's jaw, sending him spiralling to the ground.

Principiva surveyed the figure in front of her, sweat glazed, unkempt and covered with the scars of battle. Her pulse began to race and she started breathing faster, her mind whirling. With an effort, she controlled the mad rush of emotion that threatened to overwhelm her and spoke.

"Dudel Dudelovitch", she stammered. "Comrade", he replied. She flushed, heat creeping over her despite the chill as his gaze swept over her statuesque form, its lambent eroticism heightened by the ripped battledress and the tight bonds that constrained her. Anger and resentment flared up within her at his untamed, unreconstructed, goatish maleness - what are we fighting for, if not to realise our entire selves as opposed to merely being playthings, drudges and lust puppets? - but
beneath the rage, glowing, growing, threatening to burst into flames at any moment -


He started to walk towards her; she could not repress a gasp of... wanting... as that familiar face grew closer, his eyes hot with the fires of lust and his scent, his shape, his aura of pure masculinity sending an irresistable message to her loins - come! He reached out a hand, grasping her shoulder in a grip that was simultaneously rough and tender, then tore away the remaining shreds of clothing that adorned her body. He seized her around the waist with and crushed her lips to his, and she could not - would not - resist.

The revolution could wait - for the moment, the world outside their two entwined bodies did not exist. He was his, he was hers, and that was all that mattered! Lust had made a bonfire of the universe, and all they could do was watch it burn!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The first Stooges album

1 person marked this as a favorite.

'The Power of Silent Command' turned out to be a compendium of cheesy mid '70s sales agents' tips and is not a path to Ultimate Cosmic Power at all. Bah.

I'm reading 'Daggers in the Forum - a history of the Gracchi' at the moment, in between nibbles of Gor and Illuminati. Not bad. Also got a book about the Chartist revolt in Bradford out of the library.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Meet the Revolutionary League of Men Whom Women Find Unattractive

Formed by a man who, when dumped by his girlfriend, found solace in the Communist Manifesto

End the blood-soaked conspiracy of Valentine's Day, driven by the chocolate capitalists!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

...Krevon's Krack Kreme.

5 people marked this as a favorite.

And do you express your frustration in inte-grrrs?

Is there a *prime* reason for your difficulties?

I blame Cosmo for my incredibly mythic death at the mythic hands of Mythic JMD031

2 people marked this as a favorite.

David, what is 'Wal Mart Butt Rock' ? I assume it's a genre and not a niche sexual practice...

1 person marked this as a favorite.

My three year old niece thinks my impending (if that's the word I want) nephew should be called either Jesus or Santa.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

There is a great deal about naughty German Freemasons in John Robison's Proofs of a Conspiracy..., as one might expect.

However, these are no ordinary Freemasons - they're *Cosmo-Political* Freemasons, which means that it's all TRUE and there REALLY IS A CONSPRIRACEY AND TEXE MARRS WAS RIGHT AND THEY'RE TAKING OVER THE WORLD! AI! AI! AI! WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

1 person marked this as a favorite.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Last week, I had branch committee

Yesterday, I had district committee

In two days' time I have branch.

Have I got/will I get to do anything exciting in 'em?

Probably not. Maybe I should combine branch with polearm practice. They'd like that!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

It's 1970.

We're in Holland.

Presenting the First International Sex Opera Band

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Some South American stuff I like very much:

Geraldo Manuel y El Humo - Apocallypsis


The Speakers - En el Maravilloso Mundo de Ing

Psychedelia done RIGHT.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

'Not only are such tactics inflammatory - they are explosive!'

- Merlyn Gundiff's 'The Power of Silent Command'

1 person marked this as a favorite.

You're going to be the Shlyapnikov and Kollontai of Brooklyn!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Non-fiction, more or less:

'Lord Byron's Jackal - A Life of Edward John Trelawney' by David Crane. Mainly consists of gruesome accounts of massacre, starvation and Romantic bad behaviour during the Greek War of Independence and all the more interesting for it.

'Proofs of a Conspiracy' consists mainly of salacious tittle-tattle about the private lives of Weishaupt and co., who have spent an awful lot of time trying to lure the Fairer Sex into a life of Atheistical Libertinage and done little or no actual conspiring so far.

I also have 'Unapologetic: Why, Despite Everything, Christianity Can Still Make Surprising Emotional Sense' by Francis Stufford to read, along with 'Kinesics: The Power of Silent Command' by Merlyn Gundiff ("What seems to be the trouble, Madam?" "Oooh, it's me Merlyn Gundiff again, doctor!").

* Learn to project unspoken orders that must be obeyed!
* Learn to read the innermost thoughts and desires of others!
* Learn how Silent Command brings you the love and admiration of others!

Standard text on Gor, I bet!

2 people marked this as a favorite.

So far as I'm concerned, all underwear is edible underwear.

As for lower planes, I'm half airport, myself. There they are, buzzing around my control tower, flaps down and all electronic devices switched to safe mode.

"Pink Leader to Base! Permission to land?"


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I fill Agraic's mouth with peas then challenge him to a duel, asking him to name his weapons. While he's attempting to say 'glaive-guisarme-fauchard' with a mouthful of peas, I stab him through the eye.

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Kajehase wrote:
Hmm... Drejk and the Slaad sounds like a rock group or kids' show from the 70:s. Bet they'd be pretty darn good too.

I liked the Drejk, Slaad and Treppa album better.

It was a treppa LP! Ha ha ha!

[sings]"All in all, you're just another Drejk in the Fawtl"[/sings]

No more puns. Promise.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I Photoshop Gorilla Grodd's head onto a series of pictures of GoatToucher enjoying a few very private moments, making the ape die of shame

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Freehold DM wrote:
Just sent the next batch of edited work to the boss at the third job.

Where might one look for this work of yours?


1 person marked this as a favorite.

That does all sound pretty crappy. Hope it sorts itself out soon!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

A savage paramedic?

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The trouble with a citizen's income is that it will, inevitably a) be used to reduce wages still further and/or b) get set at a level lower than that of any existing benefits it replaces. Personally, I'd prefer people to get much, much more value back from their own labour (or even all of it!) than to have an insufficient sum doled out by the state to augment their crappy paycheck, but I don't doubt that a decent argument to the contrary exists. I've only read one Zizek book - In Defence of Lost Causes - which I liked, even the bits about Lacanian psychoanalysis, or whatever it's called.

In other news, here are some of Karl Marx's dreadful love poems (in English)

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Kajehase wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Drejk wrote:
If I stop posting after leaving for today it will mean that dust wraiths got me. Or vegepygmies.

is it wrong to want to eat vegepygmies?

Because every time I look at them I get peckish. It's not cannibalism, is it? They're plants. Delicious looking semi intelligent plants. I just want to try one. Yes, Sharoth, with blue cheese dressing.

Vegepygmues are fine. Blue cheese, much like mayonaisse and vegetarian bacon, is a crime against the laws of gastronomy, however.

If loving Stilton is a crime, then SHOOT ME AT DAWN WHY DON'T YOU.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

And RIP Demis Roussos

1 person marked this as a favorite.

A 111 year old record of a Frenchman breaking wind, with piano accompaniment

2 people marked this as a favorite.
David M Mallon wrote:
The distance between "center of the civilized world" Halifax and "Gotham on Thames" London is approximately the same as the distance between New York and Boston. The United States is f#~~ing huge.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Yeah, it's working fine now...

I had no idea there was a Jewish New Year especially for trees, so it's delivering already!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Magma with the Brecker Brothers...

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