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Another anti self checkout vote here.
I don't like the annoying chirpy robot lady who tells me to do things I already know how to do.
'Now scan your item! There's a good boy!'
'Insert cash or card into the machine! Ooooh, aren't you clever? Well done!'
'UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA! UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA! MERP MERP MERP! SUMMON SECURITY AND HAVE THIS MAN EVISCERATED!'
If you buy anything like, say, beer, a member of staff has to come and kindly give you permission anyway, so I may as well use the checkouts. There's a chance that the cashier will be better looking than the self service machine, after all. A very slim chance, but a chance nonetheless.
16 was a great year for me, I was transforming from a twig of a girl into a young adult with real curves. Nothing makes you feel like a woman more than having boys doing stupid things when you're around. Like this one poor boy who was so busy staring at my chest he walked straight into a metal door frame, just like on TV. It was wonderful.
I've never done that. Never! Never never! Nethers Nethers Neth....
Went marching outside the Tory conference today - 60,000 people turned up, apparently, though they didn't let us near the hall itself.
Pinko Bingo score:
CPB - 1
Would this be a Lucrezia Borgia-type dinner, I wonder?
I once smashed up a Genesis LP with a hammer. It was a good Genesis LP, though (Selling England By The Pound - good-ish, anyway), so that was pretty silly.
I have also informed Lady Longears that I am going to destroy 'Grey' by EL James with fire and with sword once I have finished reading it. I have my doubts as to whether the pleasure of slicing it up and setting it alight will make slogging through the thing at all worthwhile.
"Then they gathered up the small stones, the great stones, the Rolling Stones, the Stone Cold Steve Austins and the Stone Temple Pilots, and they took them before those who drinketh of the Wicked Bean. "Whyfore doth thou offend against the Good?", said they, and the Heathen answered them not
"Whyfore dost thou imbibe that which cometh forth fron a Cat's Bum, and praise it with great praisings, as if it were a meet and goodsome thing?" , said they, and the Heathen answered them not."
So endeth ye Threadde Hijackygnge.
And lo, TFBGTD did appear on the Paizo forums, and he did wax exceeding wroth.
The spout of his pot was like unto the snout of the great Oliphaunt, the tread of whose feet causeth the earth to tremble, while the blaring of his trunk shaketh the firmament.
His cup was an hundred hundred cubits from horizon to horizon, and did steam mightily, releasing a savour that reacheth up to the heavens and did also most wonderfully clear up oily Blemishes upon the face which the profane do call Acne.
"DISPUTE NOT MY OMNIPOTENCE, OR I SHALL BOIL YOU WITH GREAT BOILINGS, STEEP YOU FOR 3-5 MINUTES AND THEN SERVE YOU PLAIN, FOR HE WHO SERVES THE TEA OF MUCH GREENNESS WITH MILK OR LEMON DOTH COMMIT AN ABOMINATION IN MY SIGHT"
Here endeth the lesson. Please remember to drink responsibly.
"I'm having a hot bath time waiting for you, cowboy!"
Hopefully there will be many, many opportunities to use that particular sentence in future.
In the Wordl Fawtl Inn, I would be a mediocre wizard sitting in a corner drinking and casting crap Charm spells for coppers, or perhaps a sleazy bard. Or both, on alternate days.
Sorry I'm late. I've been failing to make cider.
I don't think I have ever stared at someone's nose. Ask me to describe the noses of my family, friends and acquaintances and I'm sure I couldn't, apart from my Mum's, because it's the same as mine only bigger.
Selective nose blindness is a terrible thing.
Freehold DM wrote:
I most heartily recommend zhis course of action.
How many times?
Vunce, ha ha ha!
Where's Buffy Van Helsing when you need her, eh?
In that case, Essential FAWTL Info:
FLGS: Fan Boy 3, which is great, but smells a bit funny when the M:TG kids are having their tournaments
FLGS/Comics: Travelling Man
Mainly comics, but some games: Forbidden Planet
Best bookshop is Paramount Books
Best pub is The Britons Protection
Aniuś the Talewise wrote:
Wear them on your head instead. When they complain, point out that there's no rule about having to put them on your lower slopes and proudly display
figures showing all the extra business you've bought in as a result.
Dear Auntie Clamps,
My boyfriend wishes me to varnish him backwards, but I have a Milkypop up each nose instead. What should I do?
In having a Milkypop up each nose, you are making life very unpleasant for people with only one nose and have committed a dreadful 'Faux Pas', as the French say; I'm afraid that means, in English, that you're not his real dad, being a lettuce and iron Guyanan Screeching Bonnet, and are instead an unexpurgated copy of 'Planks I Have No Idea About' by the Ba'al Shem Tov, you beast.
I hope that helps,
An auburn haired Amazon in high heels and a very tight leotard fighting monsters.
The closest we will ever get to a cartoon version of Red Sonja.
captain yesterday wrote:
I AM THE GOD OF FACIAL HAIR AND I BRING YOU...
BEARDS! (DUR DUR DUR)
captain yesterday wrote:
Listen, none of them make a tree grow over your defeated opponent, not even on a natural 20.