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Mordant Spire Elf

Limeylongears's page

Pathfinder Society Member. 2,453 posts (6,521 including aliases). No reviews. 2 lists. No wishlists. 2 Pathfinder Society characters. 105 aliases.


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3 people marked this as a favorite.

It's in your other panty.

Sorry, pants.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Captain Yesterday, Brut Squad wrote:
Limeylongears wrote:

Is that rust?

I'd be a bit worried if it isn't.

I guess Dorothy will just have to lube me up then. ;-)

Note to self: Look for Sexy Dorothy costume for the General

Does that exist?

I don't know, and even if I did, I wouldn't Google the term, and even if I did, I wouldn't be able to find out that yes, it does.

And apparently you get a 'free panty' with it as well, which is presumably a pair of knickers with only one leg-hole.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

It gets tangled in his ribcage, end by ze time ve've sorted things out, it is cold and unappetising.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

HABSOLUTELY!


2 people marked this as a favorite.

I Blame Cosmo for a) dropping a lump of bright red goulash on my crotch while eating and reading at the same time, which gave me a choice between b) washing it off, in which case I'd look as if I'd lost control of my bladder, and c), leaving it, in which case it'd look as if something was horribly, horribly wrong in that particular area.

I also Blame Him for my sense of shock and betrayal when the "smoked" "pork" "sausage" I bought for £1 in Poundland turned out not to be very nice to eat.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Is that rust?

I'd be a bit worried if it isn't.


4 people marked this as a favorite.
Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
Rosita the Riveter wrote:

My father finds it baffling why I have 7 bottles of hard liquor in various states of consumption, two of which are rum and three of which are whiskey. He just doesn't get it.

One needs Irish whiskey for simple, basic whiskey drinking. Nice and earthy, makes a body comfortable.

One needs a special whisky for more "been doing really good lately" drinking. Ideally this would be scotch, but the overpriced French whisky does the job just as well.

One needs bourbon for watching/reading Westerns/other American fiction.

One needs tequila for getting rowdy.

One needs gin for getting a bit rowdy but not as rowdy as tequila.

One needs black rum for dark mixed drinks. Very assertive, makes itself known through cola well.

One needs light rum for lighter mixed drinks or drinking straight. Nice and versatile.

You are already 7/10's of the way to writing a good or better country & western song.

*steel guitar:* wah wahwahwah wahwah wahwah wahwah waaaaaah

CC: Waaal, Irish whuskey's basic
JT: Good whusky makes ya fly
CC: Readin' Zane Grey without bourbon
JT: Makes Marty Robbins cry
CC: Ah gets tanked up on Tequila, in Tijuana Town
JT: But dark rum and Coca-Cola or cheap gin will calm me down

Omnes: OOOOH, SEVEN TYPES OF LIQUOR, THAT'S JUST ENOUGH FOR ME
THOUGH I SQUISHED MAH DOG 'NEATH MAH BRAND NEW TRUCK
AND MAH CLOTHES SMELL OF CAT PEE
MAH WIFE'S PONKIN' MAH TWO BEST FRIENDS
BENEATH THE CHRISTMAS TREE
BUT SEVEN TYPES OF LIQUOR, WILL BE ENOUGH FOR ME


1 person marked this as a favorite.
captain yesterday wrote:

Wait! We're not on her will!

Damn it!!

I was going to auction the video games to finance my kick ass jug band, Steve Vai does not come cheap.

Don't turn Steve Vai into a jug.

It's cruel, it's wrong, and you'll lose your Paladin status.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Q: Does 'Chuck Chick and Jack Tingle' sound like:

A) Two 1970s C&W singers, possibly with combovers, wearing ruffled shirts and purple nylon velour suits
B) The world's worst comedy stage magician duo
C) The world's best comedy stage magician duo
D) The hosts of a long-running infomercial series advertising rhinestone-encrusted kitchen accessories
E) All of the above


1 person marked this as a favorite.

GoatToucher has a Colon of Holding


1 person marked this as a favorite.

It's the cream of the crop!

Watch out for the DragonCat o'Nine Tails!

WU-ooomp *WHPSH!* *ow!*

"What's that?"

"A flog-horn! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Oh no no no no:

"So you're up sh!t creek with a paddle, then?"

"No, I always walk like this"


2 people marked this as a favorite.

In various combinations, a large and mysterious Spanish cheese that looks kinda like a boob.


3 people marked this as a favorite.
Rosita the Riveter wrote:
It occurs to me that I am drinking Guinness out of a Guinness branded pint glass while wearing Guinness branded pajama pants and a Guinness branded shirt.

Paint your head white and the rest of your body black and the experience will be complete.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

Speaking of which, I Blame Cosmo for having to fight sword & buckler with someone dressed like a psychedelic Ewok this evening.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I forge Winnie The Pooh's discharge papers from the Hundred Acre Asylum for the Criminally Insane, giving the bear a series of Occult Clues indicating that Uncle Teddy is orchestrating the voices in his head.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Celestial Healer wrote:
Bring back the Rods, Staves, and Wands saving throw!

"OH NOZ FAILED AGAIN"


2 people marked this as a favorite.

'Devastating' Miss Taekwondo is even better.

EDIT: There's a super-glam Monk archetype for you, right there.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

'Kindred' by Octavia E. Butler is to be made into a graphic novel


1 person marked this as a favorite.

How about smurf, eh?

EDIT: Blast. What we want is a reliable Smurfette code, but will paizo.com give it to us? NO.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

You can't.

Phil Collins has disarmed them all.

Your puny traps are useless against Phil Collins.

Neither mortal nor immortal can produce a snare, or lock, or puzzle, that Phil Collins cannot defeat.

Anyone who thinks that rogues are a weak class needs to talk to me, Phil Collins, and I will show them what-for.

Ua-ha-ha-ha.

Now that's over and done with, I shall wish my good friend, Captain Yesterday, a happy birthday, and play a drum solo.

Drum solo:

*Thump-a-thump-a-thump. Rubadubabadubababa Biddley Dump ting TISH wap bediddleydiddley thump rubbathump ting TISH ting TISH tishtishtish rubbadubbadubbadubbadubba BRANNNNGGGGGG*

That last bit was Phil Collins hitting a gong, by the way.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Giant Step - Giant On The Move!

Indonesian prog is ace.


4 people marked this as a favorite.
Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:
Oh my... geese are worse ("better equipped") than ducks...

Pillbug, not that it's any of my business, but how deeply have you delved into this subject?

How long before we get an 'Avian Nobbers of the Inner Sea' article in Wayfinder?


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Paizo needs more ducks.

This is not a point (or corkscrew) that can be argued with.


3 people marked this as a favorite.
captain yesterday wrote:
New avatar images!!!!

"The Captain's Summer Collection - only at Paizo.com"


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Preparation GT!


1 person marked this as a favorite.
1d4 Goblin Babies wrote:
Pulg's Fairy Trombone Orchestra wrote:
Not unless you can out-parp 76 (fairy) trombones, AT THE BIG PARADE.
Parp? Parp! PARP! Moum I can roun arcoss the parp. I can do it. I CAN DO IT! I CAN GO TO THE PARPY!!!

Yes, 1d4 ⇒ 4 pickle-flavoured cupcakes, you can. Yes, you can.

PAPAPA PA-PA-PA-PAAAA!!!!


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Freehold DM wrote:
I have arrived at the convention. Indeed, a happy tacticslioness day to all.

Is anyone cosplaying Red Sonja?

EDIT: At the convention. Not at Mrs Tacticslion's birthday celebrations.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Grunt grunt, happy birthday Mrs T.

TURNIPS FOR EVERYBODY!


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Ye newe sworde is here!


2 people marked this as a favorite.

I Blame Cosmo for the fact that choosing to wear shorts automatically makes the weather go grotty. Bare knees for NOTHING. Bah.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Captain Yesterday, Brut Squad wrote:

So many new avatars!!

hyperventilates again, as teenagers take my change.

More or less just in time for your birthday, too!

They know you so well, Captain :)


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Cap'n Yesterday, FaWtL Party wrote:
Demi-Lich H. Ross Perot wrote:
Rarely is the question asked: Is our FaWtLies learning?

They'll learn when the emotionally complex sparkly teenage Zombie Apocalypse cuts off their only route to the Twinkie factory.

They'll learn indeed!

Verily, they shalt, that they should have invested in ye Longears Camboxfordbridge Legitimate Internet University's Zweihander Correspondence Course, before the collapse of Civilisation made both electricity, and words, thoroughly illegal.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Charles Earland - Leaving This Planet


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Hunt, the PugWumpus wrote:

Maybe use an Axe-fueled flamethrower?

If you spray enough Febreze on a stinky person, will they disappear?

FLAMETHROWER FUELLED AXE.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Tacticslion wrote:
baron arem heshvaun wrote:

First Wonder Woman, now this, World War I is so HOT right now!

[Mugatu voice]

WW1 was always the most interesting of the two: while WW2 was always the more important/more influential - and it led to technically more amazing/impressive cultural teansformstions and world-changing truths and sciences, like atom bombs and perfect air warfare -; WW1 was such a seemingly impossible and fascinating blend of old technology and new: you had swords, guns, armor, shields, helms, bombs, planes, tanks, vehicles, boats, land troops, air troops (well, sort of), fire, gas, machines, animals, and pretty much almost every kind of warfare of ancient or modern make all clashing into one massiv conglomeration of a deadly mess. It's pretty amazing.

WW2 (very wisely) became more about revolutionizing war, so it was substantially more "even" across a given military's side than WW1's muddled and confused mess of tech and people - beyond which, the "new" tech had finally progressed juuuuusssst enough that the old ways no longer really worked against them so reliably, and were cheaper and easier to mass produce, besides (thanks to the industrialization efforts that were created during the horrid of WW1 to bear the brunt of the losses due to conscription; also in WW2).

But that made it look more "modern" - WW1 is a war in which you could still reasonably field legions of horseback lancers (with a gun or three); against an airplane and shield-and-spear mercenaries; against a tank with a couple of backup troops; against a few elephants - while that exact battle (probably?) never happened, it reasonably could have, given the politics, scope, tech, and style of WW1. In WW2, it would have been: the plane wins, unless the tank was equipped with flak somehow (or something - my actual anti-aircraft military stuff comes from Red Alert games, sooooo...).

I think elephants had been obsolete on the battlefield for quite some time before that, although I'm pretty sure they were still used as beasts of burden and the like in South/South East Asia.

There were definitely camels, though. One of my great-grandfathers was in the Camel Corps.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Hunt, the PugWumpus wrote:

{opens fresh* can of SQUAM, makes a pitcher of colortinis, and starts binging on new season of Pugjack Wampman}

(* fresh = less than two decades old.)

With extra tentacles?


3 people marked this as a favorite.
Skyrim Rampage Cap'n Yesterday wrote:

Captain Yesterday's guide to not getting killed by a Draugr Deathlord.

1. Open the f@#*ing door.

2. Shoot f#!#ing piece of s!+* with an arrow, this is merely to get it's attention, no real damage will be done.

3. Blast the a+~*$#+ with Unrelenting Force Shout.

4. Summon Halle Berry the Storm Atronach.

5. Close door.

Repeat as necessary until the son of a b$**# stops opening the door.

Your Halle Berry summoning intrigues me, and I wish to subscribe to your Dragonborn newsletter, or slab of granite carved with Mystic Runes, or whatever.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Liz Courts wrote:

Sara Marie: There will be NO SLASH FICTION INVOLVING PAIZO'S NEW COFFEE POT.

Sara Marie: ...I can't believe i had to say that.
Katina: I can’t believe you think anyone’s gonna obey it.

Heey... Does anyone have Chuck Tingle's number?


1 person marked this as a favorite.
captain yesterday wrote:

I'll just butcher it's spell check morerer, and send a few more sappy texts to my wife.

But in fairness, I thought I was sending naughty texts. Turns out <3 doesn't mean what I thought it did, and I'm not going to tell you what I thought :3 meant, I was way off!

That's probably what it should mean. Internet Campaign time!


3 people marked this as a favorite.

45 quatloos says that the 'wampi goes down in the fifth.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

I blame Cosmo for whoever was 'Going for gold' in the Freestyle Urination event before I went into the toilet today. Everyone misses now and then, but it takes a special sort of talent to manage to tinkle all over the room without getting anything in the bowl at all.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

I'm sure this is 'cymbal-ic' of something. Probably something deeply disturbing.

You can have that one for nothing, Jokey.


4 people marked this as a favorite.

Interesting evening.

I went round to a friend's; we played console Conan, watched Turkish Star Wars and drank absinthe. On the way home, I made friends with a black & white cat and discovered an unusual echo in a snicket.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
captain yesterday wrote:

I have a disc where they pair up metal bands with rappers, Big Pun is on there, I forget who he got paired with, but it's a great song.

Though pairing Rage Against the Machine and Wu-Tang clan was kind of cheating.

But in fairness, I think they also have a song with Wu-Tang and Ozzy, so.

Is that the one with De La Soul and Teenage Fanclub on it, too?

I think it was for some kind of vampire (?) movie, but I may be thinking of something else, or just making stuff up again, wholesale.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

{Dur durdurdur dur}

mmmnnnWoke up this mornin'

{Dur durdurdur dur}

In my Firefly PJs

{Dur durdurdur dur}

Logged into Facebook

{Dur durdurdur dur}

For a positive start to the day

{Dur durdurdur dur}

Watched 14 dubbed episodes of 'DxD High School' while frying Hello Kitty

With cornflakes and (Alton) Brown Sauce, but it tasted really s&##ty

OOOGYOOOGYOOOGYOOO, I GOT THE FREEHOLD DM BLUES

I JUST HOPE I DON'T MUTATE

AND TURN INTO TED CRUZ

{De dum de dum de dum BA BA BAAA!}


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Master Pugwampi wrote:
Rysky wrote:
The Fiend Fantastic wrote:
If you were to play a kineticist, which one?
The blasty one!

*rolls eyes*

As opposed to the contemplative one, I suppose?

It's early on Friday morning, so while scrolling past that, I read it at contraceptive one.

There isn't a contraceptive Kineticist (or a Kineticist contraceptive)

Unfortunately I hope.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

'The Book of the Penis', by Maggie Paley.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

We have 'dump stats', but we do not have stats for dumps, FATAL 3pp expansions aside.

When is 'Bowel Movements of the Inner Sea' going to get released, eh?


1 person marked this as a favorite.

[crap Flash Gordon joke] Looks like War Rocket Ajax was going 'that extra mile', then! Ha! Ha! Ha! [/crap Flash Gordon joke]


3 people marked this as a favorite.

I obtain GoatToucher's phylactery, secrete it in MageHunter's ...ears..., then wait for the vengeful monstrosity to regenerate in his new host

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