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Oracle

Lamontius's page

RPG Superstar 2014 Marathon Voter. FullStar Pathfinder Society GM. 3,641 posts (3,933 including aliases). 1 review. No lists. No wishlists. 9 Pathfinder Society characters. 6 aliases.


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Cheliax

9 people marked this as a favorite.

The Technology Guide is on the PRD because it is required for running Iron Gods, the newest Adventure Path.

If you do not like the Technology rules, then do not play Iron Gods.

And if you do not play Iron Gods, then no, you do not have to worry about winding up with chocolate lazors in your fantasy peanut butter.

Cheliax

1 person marked this as a favorite.

best part about this thread
I can scroll through all the words you all have written
then I can just go 'nope'
and then go back to working with an awesome new class

Cheliax

1 person marked this as a favorite.

sorry there is a thing in your games you do not like
it is not in my games

Cheliax

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I am glad you all read past the first line
I sure did not

Cheliax

1 person marked this as a favorite.

can we be on house thrune's side y/n

Cheliax

7 people marked this as a favorite.

okay, well I am set for RPG Superstar this year now

Trousers of the Beef Thief
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 8th
Slot legs; Price 5,000 gp; Weight
Description
These form-fitting trousers of supple leather suggest that the wearer's daddy was in fact a meat burglar, for they give the appearance that someone has stuffed two fine Crystalhue hams down the back of these pants.

Donning these trousers grants the wearer an enhancement bonus to Charisma of +2. Treat this as a temporary ability bonus for the first 24 hours the headband is worn.

In addition, once per day the wearer may designate a target to view the posterior of the wearer. The wearer's posterior must be perceivable by the target. The chosen target must make an immediate DC 19 Will saving throw. Upon a failed saving throw, the target is filled with lust and desire for the wearer. The target is overcome with the compulsion to rush to the wearer and passionately kiss or caress that wearer on its next turn, taking no other actions. If the target would not normally have lustful feelings toward the designated creature or object, it receives a +4 bonus on its saving throw.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, unnatural lust; Cost 2,500 gp

Cheliax

3 people marked this as a favorite.

HELL'S REBELS MC, EGORIAN CHAPTER, 1%'ERS, "SONS OF ASMODEUS"

Cheliax

6 people marked this as a favorite.

I am made of lies
and cheap whiskey

Cheliax

2 people marked this as a favorite.

every time this comes back to the top of the forum

Cheliax

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Crystal Frasier wrote:
Paizo has about fifty people if you include the card game folk.

oh

those people

Cheliax

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pecan Sandie Duncan wrote:
Lamontius wrote:
I ate a chicken

{ponders: "Hoo-mahns don't eat bones"}

Lamontius?
Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock
Do you wanna animate a skeleton?

I read that post like you were singing the build a snowman song from Frozen

Cheliax

2 people marked this as a favorite.

YOU HAVE MY AXE

okay actually it is just an empty beer bottle but you get the idea OP

Cheliax

1 person marked this as a favorite.

my people will call your people

Cheliax

1 person marked this as a favorite.

hi5

Cheliax

3 people marked this as a favorite.

the mechanic is dragons

Cheliax

1 person marked this as a favorite.
The Grays Probe wrote:
Relax this wont hurt

shhhhhhh no tears

just dreams

Cheliax

1 person marked this as a favorite.

search
messageboards
e6
caster martial disparity

Cheliax

6 people marked this as a favorite.

♫ sommmmeone playyyyyed Thorrrrrnkeeeeeep ♫

Cheliax

4 people marked this as a favorite.

I see that new title, Chris Lambertz

Cheliax

3 people marked this as a favorite.

assuming wheeled transportation and solid organization, you could get away with as few as 20 camp attendants and probably another 30 craftsmen, cooks, armorers, etc

anything less organized, not having access to wheeled carts or if cavalry is a factor and you could be looking at a baggage train/camp follower contingent that is as big, if not bigger, than the amount of trained soldiers

Cheliax

3 people marked this as a favorite.

...I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

Cheliax

1 person marked this as a favorite.

sorry
do not care

j/k
not sorry at all

Cheliax *

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Ultimate Equipment is incredibly useful.
The Advanced Players Guide opens up new classes and materials.
The Advanced Class Guide opens up new classes and materials.
Ultimate Magic is great for casters.
Ultimate Combat is great for martial characters.
The Adventurer's Armory gets you spring-loaded wrist sheaths.
Serpent's Skull AP Part Three, City of Spears gets you the Elixir of Spirit Sight.
The Campaign Setting Seeker of Secrets gets you a ton of good stuff and ioun stone resonance.

Cheliax

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Feiya wrote:

I didn't want to be part of your stupid hat club anyway.

goes and sobs in the corner

you can be part of the 'drink and throw things out of windows' club with Valeros, Amiri, Oloch, Kess and I if you want

Cheliax

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Mikaze wrote:
Also, Shardra gets to be in the Awesome Hats Club with Alahazra and Imrijka.

it is pretty rad

the booze is not watered down
and they take your coat at the door

Cheliax *

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Buy a Pathfinder Pouch.
Hide your Wayfinder at all times.
Lastly, never ever trust Shiela Heidmarch's 'simple tasks'...
...they are not simple.

Live by these rules and you'll save yourself a lot of missed PP and/or skip having to spend PP on body retrievals.

Cheliax

3 people marked this as a favorite.
captain yesterday wrote:
Lamontius wrote:
<3
what does this symbol mean? its on my phone in the smiley menu, my wife and i assumed it was the symbol for dick and balls:) i'm assuming thats not right...

either way, just as good

Cheliax

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I figured it was pronounced, "Lie-Keer"

love the art, backstory is cool, this one gets a <3

Cheliax

25 people marked this as a favorite.

:O

Adowyn: "you know nothing, Valeros"

Valeros: "Dammit, you keep saying that!"

Cheliax

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I think one of our group put it best when she said,

"I've decided that the ACG is basically just BESM for Pathfinder, because this is fulfilling every inexplicable anime dream EVER"

Cheliax

7 people marked this as a favorite.

one of my fearless gaming group companions (wakedown) informed the rest of us via facebook chat last night about the bolt ace

the responses, in order, from all of us:

:O

WAAAAAAAAAA

i don't even

I DROP THE MIC

THAT IS OBSCENE

BAM

THAT NEEDS TO BE CENSORED IT IS SO OBSCENE

CROSSBOWS ARE BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS

BLEEP THAT BLEEP OUT

that's ridiculous

/flail

Cheliax

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Kevin Mack wrote:
Also did everyone foget about the mythic adventures book or something? (Seriously going by that it seems the secret of mythic power is to take half your clothing off.)

see, I am fine with this

I call it the Tequila Theorem
because when I am deep into a half-rack of Schmidt's Ice, I sure feel pretty mythic
and at that point my shirt usually comes off

Cheliax

6 people marked this as a favorite.

wakedown is continually making sense
wakedown do you see what happens now when you try to make sense on these forums

Cheliax

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Christopher Anthony wrote:

Ashley: would YOU want to swap underpants with Cosmo in the winter?

Katina: If that's the difference between me and the Donner Party, then yes.

there is an edible underwear joke in there somewhere

Cheliax

1 person marked this as a favorite.

sure man that sounds like a rad adventure
does that happen to you a lot, JoeJ

Cheliax

8 people marked this as a favorite.

sorry

if my PC setting off a tree feather token inside some big bad that swallowed him is wrong, then I do not want to be right

I will turn my frown upside down

also j/k not sorry at all

Cheliax

20 people marked this as a favorite.

Here is my solution, instead

An Alternative:
EXPLOSIVE RUNES

Cheliax

4 people marked this as a favorite.

(Almost certainly NSFW) - while I guess words are cool for debating boobs vs junk, Gabe from Penny Arcade provides his take via drawing

Cheliax

20 people marked this as a favorite.

it would be really great if Mark Seifter would write a blog post explaining in clear detail how the hunter class design process evolved to help differentiate it from both the ranger and the druid rather than making it feel like a glorified archetype of either

OH WAIT

Cheliax

1 person marked this as a favorite.

and the best part is that not everyone knows about the bourbon because it is already in me

Cheliax

5 people marked this as a favorite.

bourbon

Cheliax

41 people marked this as a favorite.

okay paizo it is story time

so my brother and I run a business together

it has been and will always continue to be a long hard road, but we have built something pretty cool and neither of us is hurting for money anymore because we have stayed the course and worked hard to build a good family business

that being said, there was a time a number of years back when we were really struggling and we were not sure our business was going to last much longer

we needed clients badly, because clients pay you money, so every new business meeting was vital

So this brings me to sitting in a meeting with my brother and a (at the time) prospective client

we begin talking to the potential client, explaining to her how to bring a few different divergent portions of her online sales effort into line

she was not really understanding us very well

now these days we can both sell a ketchup Popsicle to a woman wearing white gloves and have all sorts of fancy marketing materials, presentations and videos, but back then we both were not very good and did not have much to work with

so, my brother pulls out a sheet of paper

he draws a bulbous shape, explaining that it is one portion of her business, then he draws a few long horizontal lines to the right, connecting to another bulbous shape, showing her how two portions of her business relate

I look down at his drawing, about to contribute to the conversation...and I see it

he has drawn a boner

my brother has basically has basically drawn a big gigantic penis in front of this potential client

my jaw sets, my lip quivers as I can feel horrifying laughter bubbling up from inside me

I bite my cheek hard, my shoulders beginning to bob slightly from restraining myself from shuddering belly laughs

I know, based on the client's business model, what my brother is thinking and how he is going to explain the next part

I cannot let this happen

my eyes are watering and just for an instant I meet my brother's eyes across the table, silently pleading for him to not continue drawing

the client is staring at the drawing, nodding, following along, she does not see it

my brother gives me a quick odd look, narrowing his eyes, but continues speaking

I am about to lose it

I try desperately try to guide the conversation to another aspect of her business but I am terrified of bursting into convulsive laughter

my brother picks right back up, explaining how the third aspect of her business relates, drawing an even bigger bulbous shape directly under the first item, then outlining it with little dashed lines, all around it to show its importance, then drawing two thin lines to link it up to the first item

he has now drawn a hairy...testicular region...to go along with the large penis

I make an audible snnnnrrrrk sound, covering my mouth

yes I am infantile

the meeting concludes shortly after

we are walking out, we are not sure if we got the client, she says she will think about it

we are walking to our truck, my brother's jaw is working, he looks angry

he asks me what the hell was wrong with me in there, begins getting angry

I start laughing, I cannot help it

he gets mad, we get in the truck, he again asks me what the hell got into me

I cannot hold back

I tell him

"You just drew a massive penis and a set of balls in front of what could be one of our biggest clients ever"

He looks at me like I am insane

He starts to get mad, but I tell him

"Pull out the paper you drew on in there, look at it"

He is berating me even while pulling out the paper, still really angry and spitting out a storm of vitriol my way as he looks at the paper

he goes instantly silent, staying that way for a good ten seconds

he looks up at me, his face ashen

"I...I...wow...yeah...I drew a gigantic penis and ballsack, didn't I?"

I cannot help it, I begin to die laughing

he smiles, then begins laughing as well

I tell him

"Don't worry, brother, I hear like 8% of kids do it"

we laugh until our ribs hurt

we drive back to our tiny office, still chuckling

the phone rings shortly after we get back to our tiny one-room office that we share

it is the prospective client

she loved our pitch and our explanation, loved how down to earth we were and thought our explanation of her business processes was amazing

she becomes our biggest client, our business picks up and a few month later, we are out of the woods and on the way to where we are today

we still have the penis picture, framed

it is in a place of honor on the wall, at my brother's house

the moral of the story:

everyone accidentally draws a penis and ballsack in front of a client every once in a while, paizo

but sometimes that penis and ballsack can be a turning point to the light at the end of the tunnel...and I think the ACG will be one hell of a turning point, in addition to a lot of other really cool stuff you all have done and will continue to do

keep your chin up, paizo

Cheliax

1 person marked this as a favorite.

hey
stop

Cheliax

6 people marked this as a favorite.

mine is done

Cheliax

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Hrothdane wrote:
I could see an inquisitor of Norgorber using the infiltrator archetype and pretending to be a servant of another god in order to steal the secrets of a rival religion.

bam

nice one!

Cheliax

3 people marked this as a favorite.

As an inquisitor of Norgorber and specifically for the aspect of the Reaper of Reputation, an inquisitorial character would most likely either be tasked with stopping those who would give away their deity's blessed secrets or with properly...motivating...others in the fold to strive harder in acquiring/collecting deeper secrets.

Cheliax

3 people marked this as a favorite.

A Forlorn Elven wizard who is utterly obsessed with keeping his companions from ever dying, so he delves deeply into necromancy because he can't bear to lose anyone else...ever...again...

Cheliax

21 people marked this as a favorite.

"Okay, welcome to the first session of the new adventure path!"

"Rad! Do we start in a tavern?"

"Let's see...nope, says here you all are currently in a...uh, an Arcanist."

"...what?"

"Okay, yeah. So you all are in an Arcanist...what do you want to do? You can go investigate the recent..uh...investigator...or you can certainly travel to...uh...Bloodrager...town?"

"Dude what the hell?"

Cheliax

16 people marked this as a favorite.

mistakes happen
SWIM THROUGH THE DOOR

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