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Kobold

Kobold Cleaver's page

RPG Superstar 9 Season Marathon Voter. Pathfinder Society Member. 21,490 posts (34,907 including aliases). 7 reviews. 2 lists. 1 wishlist. 3 Pathfinder Society characters. 98 aliases.


Full Name

Kobold "Leave it to" Cleaver

Race

Kobold (smurf template)

Classes/Levels

Witch (Social Justice Witch) 7/Fighter (edgelord) 4

Gender

He/Him/Um's

Size

Itsy

Age

Toy Story was released before I was born. I don't remember a time before the Bush presidency.

Alignment

Lawful Evil

Deity

Papa Smurf/Kurtulmak/Queen Chrysalis

Location

Corvallis, Oregon

Strength 18
Dexterity 10
Constitution 14
Intelligence 20
Wisdom 7
Charisma 7

About Kobold Cleaver

This insufferably smug rat of a kobold serves as Head Witch of a large, highly hostile kobold clan called the Polikobaldly Kobrrect Tribe. He is often found menacing the Boards, however, picking fights with his many, many enemies. He counts Favorites like you would count gold. They're all his, and his alone! Give them to him! Buy his favor with + signs.

Kobold Cleaver comes from a long line of Cleavers, but he alone wields the actual Cleaver that holds his considerable martial might. Unfortunately, he has a tendency to cleave fellow kobolds, but that's all accident. All accident. You can't prove anything.

Kobold Cleaver used to be a lich, but he got over it. He used to be a member of the sinister cult known as the Misty Realms Agents, who sought to spread their nebulous, poorly-thought-out plans across the world. He got over that, too. He used to be a brony, but then he got kind of bored and realized he was surrounded by jackasses. He now quests alone to master the fabled Paints of Animation, though it is clear to all he is in way over his head.

Kobold Cleaver's favorite haunts include the political forums, the rules discussion forums, and his own countless terrible threads, all festering bogs of idiocy and timewasting to the last. Stop by some time!

Enemies List:
Gargamel and his damn cat — Smurfold Cleaver was created by Gargamel Teter to infiltrate the smurfs. Or to annoy him. Either way, Kobold Cleaver caught on to the scheme and turned against his creator.

Adventurers — Kobold Cleaver quite likes adventurers, actually. They're crunchy.

Clanmates — Look, Trapper Ted, it was either hack up your brother or lose the cleave. I don't waste my namesake feat!

Tea — And its supporters.

captain yesterday — And his millions of aliases.

Anzyr — Don't you even think about it boy.


Respected and Admired List:
Sebastian. Yeah, that's right, YOU'RE NUMBER ONE HERE! AAHAHAHAAHA! VICTORY!

Sebastian wrote:
You are wrong Sebastian. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!


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