|Rosita the Riveter|
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Try a 9mm or a .40 although they don't have the stopping power of a .45 they ARE much easier to control. Depending on your skill I would go with the .40 since it works well for the police. Or if you need a cheaper gun to build your skill up with go with the 9mm.
Honestly, I'd probably get a shotgun if I felt like buying a home defense gun. I know better than to think handguns are particularly accurate in any combat situation, and my new pad is pretty small, so I'd rather scare the crap out of any potential robber and, if necessary, put out a spread of buckshot. I also have this reluctance to buy any firearm less than 40 years old, and an old, obsolete 12 gauge is still a 12 gauge.
That said, I don't have any plans to buy a firearm for self defense. Doesn't really feel like there's an impending need in my case.