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 Recent posts by
Kassil:
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Psionics is fairly common, by canon; pretty much everyone has a wild talent, and psionics is probably more common than arcane magic due to it being able to be wielded without causing defilement of the land.
Divine magic comes in two flavors: that granted by the sorcerer-kings of the cities to their templars, and druidic-style elemental magic.
Arcane magic, by definition, damages the surrounding landscape, as it draws off the lifeforce of the plants and dessicates the soil. Preserver mages have various rituals and behaviors to help counteract this. Arcane magic tends to be outlawed due to the sorcerer-kings having lush preserves that they do not wish destroyed by random mage fights. As such, arcane magic tends to be an underground kind of deal.
Metal is rather uncommon; most weapons will be made out of things like obsidian, bone, and wood. Armor is very rarely metal due to survival, even if it can be acquired - the entire world is such a desert that heat stroke is likely in short order with metal armor.
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Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
I wish... the dog I'm housesitting for wouldn't go bezerk everytime the phone rings.
Granted. Instead, it drops dead the next time the phone rings, leaving you with a Very Awkward Situation to explain to the owners.
I wish holidays didn't mean the unwashed masses felt the need to vacation.
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Azhagal wrote:
Davi The Eccentric wrote:
Taliesin Hoyle wrote:
I wish the Coca Cola company would apologise for its South American atrocities.
Fine. Today, Coca-Cola admits the atrocities it has committed in the name of business. In other news, Iran is going through another peaceful election, Germany is mourning the tenth anniversary of the death of that famed supporter of Judaism, Adolf Hitler, and cats and dogs continue to live together in perfect harmony. Tune in for more news at 23.
In other words, they admit it in that crazy opposite dimension, but they continue being soulless here.
I wish there was a better movie in theaters currently, that will continue being shown at a time I can watch it.
Granted. Pathfinder becomes a movie, it is directed by all of its fans...cept for Vomit Guy...eeek....the movie is a smash hit, grossing 500M it's opening weekend
as a bonus, any moviegoer who can answer correctly this question: what exactly is a d21? gets both their own d21 signed by the ghost of sir Gygax and a creature made in their honor in the next bestiary!
I wish I hand shoulder-length eyebrow dreadlocks!
ZOT! Your name is now Biff, and you live in a wildly bizarre world watched each weekday by avid webgeeks. You never have a moment's peace again, spending your time fighting with giant squid in your breakfast cereal and hunting down your rocket fists.
I wish I didn't wish this wish.
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Taliesin Hoyle wrote:
waltero wrote:
Wonders if this thread will surpass other pointless threads in quantity of responses.
Doubt.
Mention of other thread about thread length.
Anecdote about Solnes.
Challenge.
Snide response.
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Xuttah wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
Arazyr wrote:
Non sequitur
Sequitur
Sweater.
Anecdote about 'sweater girls'.
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Qwilion wrote:
This is why I wanted to do a Pathfinder patronage project with Boomer!
Taig, Sharoth, and Evil Overlord, thanks so much for making me laugh with joy.
What about you Evil Overlord will you be joining us (at any level)?
Err. EO is Sharoth. Although I suppose he could always be really crazy and buy a double Khan entry...
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Davi The Eccentric wrote:
Kassil wrote:
I wish for the destruction of humanity.
Alright. In a bizzare turn of events, every apocalypse anyone has ever said will happen occurs simultaneously. A meteor decimates Topeka, Loki shows up leading an army of the dead, Cthulu decides to stop hitting the snooze button, and several religious figures are going to Jerusalum. All of humanity ends up dead or otherwise not on this plane of existance.
Except for you. You just turn into a fish. (Hey, have to subvert this somehow).
EDIT: Oh, and your thesis is done. It's been written by a three-year-old hopped up on massive amounts of sugar, but it's done.
I wish people would stop arguing about which edition of D&D is better.
Hah. I like this twisting.
BAM! People stop arguing about which edition is better due to a new media format that has just been released. Unfortunately, unknown to anyone for a full year, the media format causes massive mindrot, resulting in a planet of people who can only gossip about celebrities and drool on themselves.
I wish I was omniscient without going mad, being effectively paralyzed, or dying from it.
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Lathiira wrote:
Kassil wrote:
I wish for the destruction of humanity.
Granted! You are pushed forward in time and find yourself on earth after human beings have evolved into supremely beautiful godlike beings. They left the world behind. You're now the only human on a planet ruled by sentient cockroaches that are 12' in height. And they're hungry.
I wish my thesis was done.
That wasn't a destruction, though, that was an ascension.
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Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
Azhagal wrote:
I wish I was a transformer
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
You already made that wish, and I granted it. Unless you were so horrified you hoped to try again?
Heck, I'll give it another try...
Darkness... and then after a moment, your senses return. Everything seems new and exciting from your new height, and you feel a constant flood of power flowing through you. You attemot to take a step, and... where- where are your legs? Your attempts to move your legs only manages to produce a strange wriggling sensation. And... you realize you are also pinned helplessly above floor... to the wall?
As full awareness rushes back, you feel the power -- 110V AC -- as it surges into your brick of a torso, is converted -- into 12V DC -- and hurtles down your 'spine', through your legs, and out your melded-together feet... into the stupid and forever hungry crappy piece of unremarkable consumer electronics.
I know what you meant, but you wished for a 'small-t' transformer.
I wish: Kobold Cleaver buys a scratch-off lotto card and... it wins!
Granted! KC buys an extradimensional lottery card and wins a case of the 4e Spellplague, which promptly infects reality and twists the universe in ways that make everyone wish they were dead.
I wish for the destruction of humanity.
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Kruelaid wrote:
Kassil wrote:
Vic Wertz wrote:
Kassil wrote:
Kruelaid wrote:
Post in unknown language.
Post in an unholy blending of Klingon and Elvish.
Link to online Klelvish dictionary.
Obnoxious post about 'rabid fans' despite having used said language previously.
Stream of obscenity in Klelvish.
Far more gratuitous 'obscenity' in response in Lojban, despite almost no one actually speaking Lojban.
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Davi The Eccentric wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
I wish all the webcomics I read updated more often.
Alright. All your favorite webcomics' posting frequency increases exponentially. Within a week they begin to update a dozen times per secind, and they keep going faster. Your head explodes from the sheer effort it takes to read them all.
I wish my basement did not flood last Saturday.
You basement did not flood last Saturday. Instead, a complex twist in spacetime tore open and began spitting out scuttling Things From Beyond. Now your entire house is a non-Euclidean hive of loathsome and blasphemous entities from beyond time and space, and you have been transformed into their flesh-puppet to be their face in the world, gathering their supplies as needed for them to overrun the whole of the Earth.
I wish I lived someplace more pleasant than the desert.
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Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
Db3's Astral Projection wrote:
Poof. A Jack and a Poodle are forced to live with each other in a one bedroom, one bath, apartment. Soon hate gives way to neutrality, which then gives way to love. A Poodle and Jack version of Romeo & Juliet ensues, with a very different ending. Your wish (and the Poodle) gives birth to a new type of Alias: The Poodle Jack. The Poodles and the Jacks make amends and give peace a chance.
Afterpost: Ew, just ew. Also, if there already is a Poodle Jack, the above wish is what caused it.
ARGH! {brain melts like bad guys at the end of Raiders of the Lost arc} The horror, the horror... ye gods, what have I done?!
Db3's Astral Projection wrote:
I wish I could fly.
Wha-? {glances confusedly at avatar wings and 'Astral' moniker} bu-, but, you alread- {brain still too melty to process}
Tch. A waste of a perfectly good mind, that.
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Db3's Astral Projection wrote:
Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
I wish the Jacks and Poodles would just learn to love one another and to give peace a chance.
Poof. A Jack and a Poodle are forced to live with eachother in a one bedroom, one bath, apartment. Soon hate gives way to neutrality, which then gives way to love. A Poodle and Jack version of Romeo & Juliet ensues, with a very different ending. Your wish(and the Poodle) gives birth to a new type of Alias: The Poodle Jack. The Poodles and the Jacks make amends and give peace a chance.
Afterpost: Ew, just ew. Also, if there already is a Poodle Jack, the above wish is what caused it.
I wish I could fly.
You can. :p Unfortunately, it remains in effect when you sleep, unlike normal sleep paralysis. You find yourself waking up in very strange locations, up until the day when you fly into a jetliner engine in your sleep.
I wish tourists weren't such blithering imbeciles.
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taig wrote:
Kassil wrote:
taig wrote:
Query about best location for dinner.
Post indicating a dining establishment which does not exist in prior poster's location.
Post indicating poster's sadness about lack of establishment in his location.
Condescending pity. Suggestion of another dining place, which research indicates only exists in three places in the world.
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Vic Wertz wrote:
Kassil wrote:
Kruelaid wrote:
Post in unknown language.
Post in an unholy blending of Klingon and Elvish.
Link to online Klelvish dictionary.
Obnoxious post about 'rabid fans' despite having used said language previously.
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Turin the Mad wrote:
Kassil wrote:
Taliesin Hoyle wrote:
Kassil wrote:
Taliesin Hoyle wrote:
Kassil wrote:
Post indicating that prior poster's mother has now been informed of what her 'precious little one' has been up to on the Internet, now that said poster has blown their cover.
Terrified pleading. Infinite offer. Conciliatory gesture.
Post stating parent has not been informed, since the current poster was setting a lure to get prior poster to admit to own identity. Suggestion said parent might not be...
Unconditional acceptance. Request to play psionics. Terrifying munchkinism. Anecdote about previous campaign. Weasel words.
Indication that weasel words have been noted. Acceptance of psionics 'with approval'. Terrifyingly cheerful response to munchkinism, enough to strike abject fear in the heart of normal players, indicating either idiocy or ruthless Killer GM mentality.
Cheering of ruthless killer GM mindset. Suggestions for "owning" psionic player characters prior to messy demise. Time-honored movie quote pertaining to killing player characters.
Post indicating that prior poster has been inspiration for 'editing' planned game session to 'acceptable' levels.
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Taliesin Hoyle wrote:
Kassil wrote:
Taliesin Hoyle wrote:
Kassil wrote:
Post indicating that prior poster's mother has now been informed of what her 'precious little one' has been up to on the Internet, now that said poster has blown their cover.
Terrified pleading. Infinite offer. Conciliatory gesture.
Post stating parent has not been informed, since the current poster was setting a lure to get prior poster to admit to own identity. Suggestion said parent might not be...
Unconditional acceptance. Request to play psionics. Terrifying munchkinism. Anecdote about previous campaign. Weasel words.
Indication that weasel words have been noted. Acceptance of psionics 'with approval'. Terrifyingly cheerful response to munchkinism, enough to strike abject fear in the heart of normal players, indicating either idiocy or ruthless Killer GM mentality.
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Taliesin Hoyle wrote:
Kassil wrote:
Taliesin Hoyle wrote:
Kassil wrote:
Taliesin Hoyle wrote:
Kassil wrote:
Taliesin Hoyle wrote:
Kassil wrote:
Taliesin Hoyle wrote:
Post which consists of nothing except a quote, and a mathematical symbol, followed by an integer, to declare agreement with the sentiments expressed in the quoted post.
Post insulting the quoted poster's education and intelligence.
Semi-literate vitriolic diatribe that confirms your suspicions.
Smug post correcting the errors of the former post, clearly furthering the insult.
Obviously unfeasible threat of physical violence. Claim of martial arts prowess that betrays a shallow understanding of same. Anecdote about what was done to the last person to f@~& with the poster, which leads one to suspect that the poster is still in junior high school.
Mocking post suggesting the prior poster has a pillow well-acquainted with his own tears.
Snide comment about how not everyone is a 'special little snowflake'.
Post finishes by offering to take up the offer of violence, in a fashion that suggests the poster is a morbidly obese middle-aged man who hasn't seen 'physically fit' for over two-third of his life.
Escalation. Mention of bladed implements. Analogy with horror movie with a three letter name. Claim of prison time for unspecified crime. Sudden use of other poster's real name. Casual mention of other poster's home address. Chillingly accurate description of Kassil's study, and confirmation that he is morbidly obese.
Post indicating that prior poster's mother has now been informed of what her 'precious little one' has been up to on the Internet, now that said poster has blown their cover.
Terrified pleading. Infinite offer. Conciliatory gesture.
Post stating parent has not been informed, since the current poster was setting a lure to get prior poster to admit to own identity. Suggestion said parent might not be informed if prior poster shows up on time for scheduled gaming session with parent from now on. Mention of Hook Mountain being played next session, with suggestion to 'pack a mop'.
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DoveArrow wrote:
Kassil wrote:
You just keep telling yourself that. You'll fit right in with the rest of the 'You Just Haven't Met The Right Woman' chorus.
I ain't interested playing the Social Contract of Guilt game, thanks.
More my point was that the level of gas prices has no effect on the 'honey go get' argument. If you want to get out of that argument, you need to have separate bank accounts.
Anyway, I don't think you have to worry about meeting the right woman. After all, what woman would have you? OHHHHH!!! MODED!!! :P
I kid. :)
Oh, don't worry. They /will/ have an effect on it, in time, unless one lives close enough to make the trip nicely economical*
And the answer is: no woman in her right mind would. (I have to think I'm a catch before that kind of burn works, y'know. ;) )
*
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Fake Healer wrote:
Kassil wrote:
DoveArrow wrote:
Kassil wrote:
...and if I lose my grip and sanity and am, within a decade fuel costs are likely going to be on my side of any 'honey go get' argument.
You have much to learn, young Padawan. :)
You just keep telling yourself that. You'll fit right in with the rest of the 'You Just Haven't Met The Right Woman' chorus.
I ain't interested playing the Social Contract of Guilt game, thanks.
Smart man. If I knew then what I know now I would be right with you.....
I'm a cynic. I have three elder half-brothers who have provided ample illustration of all the crap that can go horribly wrong with the whole mess, along with the Perpetual Blame Game my parents like to play. Given that my /entire family/ is this way, I do not favor any odds of my own on finding happiness in what is, essentially, a contract designed to proclaim ownership and control via infliction of guilt.
I'll noodle along without the whole mess humanity has made of social behavior, thank you. No psychopathic exes, stalker girlfriends, or idiotic guessing games for me.
Mind, I have nothing against the people who decide to make a go of it. It's just not my cup of tea to entangle myself like that.
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DoveArrow wrote:
Kassil wrote:
...and if I lose my grip and sanity and am, within a decade fuel costs are likely going to be on my side of any 'honey go get' argument.
You have much to learn, young Padawan. :)
You just keep telling yourself that. You'll fit right in with the rest of the 'You Just Haven't Met The Right Woman' chorus.
I ain't interested playing the Social Contract of Guilt game, thanks.
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Andrew Turner wrote:
Kassil wrote:
Andrew Turner wrote:
I don't follow the right-turns only part, but I do try to plan shopping, etc, based on a circular movement--I can't stand the haphazard movement (non)plan my wife subscribes to; I prefer a structured A-to-B-to-C movement that ends back at Point A (home). Confucius says, "An orderly life leads to an orderly mind."
Orderliness is overrated; it tends to produce ruts and predictable tracks.
For something like the UPS, which is where the right-turn-only method was first put into use via their route planning software, it saves time and fuel, simple due to the amount which their delivery people drive around. For normal people who don't spend their time constantly driving around, it produces much less significant results. A much /better/ tip is to plan your trips to take care of as much as you can in a single shot, rather than making a dozen short trips to do various errands.
You're not married, are you...
No, I am not; I have no intention of ever being; and if I lose my grip and sanity and am, within a decade fuel costs are likely going to be on my side of any 'honey go get' argument.
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Charles Evans 25 wrote:
Hugo Solis wrote:
I traveled to the US and got the flu
*sniffles*
Statement of alarm with no foundation at present stating that Paizo is about to be wiped out by swine flu!
Much panicking.
Conclusion calling for immediate vaccinations and the best possible treatment by the world's most skilled physicians of all who attended PaizoCon.
Mocking post suggesting prior poster likely think swine flu comes from eating pork or kissing pigs.
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Kassil
(Pathfinder Chronicles Superscriber; GameMastery Superscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber),
