Jordan Fenix's page

this a cruel and monstruous thing... I recomment to check this thread... it esplains everything.

*finish putting Montalve's eyes back with duck tape* there... ok it will take a few days for they to be well again, but the promises of seeing Merisiel in the bath again gave him hope for the future... gee...

well... from now on... as doctor's prescription he has been prohibited to open all this twisted links... for his own protection.

Jordan Fenix wrote:

we, followers of Iomedae, can't follow this new policy... but wewould pay the same fee for celestials-hand-delivered packages

For the last time, child, I'm too busy! Can't you understand that?

Erynies are lawful, just get them to sign a contract stating they won't harm anyone on the way of delivery (including both you and the sender) and you should be fine.

but btu what about AFTER the delivery? they willbe held accoutnable to their contract?

I advocate the addition of the "Hand-delivered by erinyes" shipping option. It insures that your product will arrive intact and unmolested, with good security and eye candy to boot. Naturally, it will be a bit more expensive than USPS or UPS (those Chelaxian Devilbinders have to make a living, you know?), but such is the price of quality.

we, followers of Iomedae, can't follow this new policy... but wewould pay the same fee for celestials-hand-delivered packages

at leastwe would be pleased to have some crusaders guard them while in their way to the World Wound

ohh don't worry Kae-dear... but before you touch me we will have just to officiate a corresponding marriage is the least that ask Iomedae of her faithful... *sights whispering to Joanne: Worst i know a cleric of Asmodeus who might do all the legalise or just disband it in a whim... the woman is scary, and she don't care mcuh about caos.. she just chain chaotic people and lash at them*

*it appears as she is not getting any outside help she is about to be catch, then as if rememebring something she stops and turns around watching the creepy clown to the eyes*

Hold there sir!!

*cast Hold Person*

*Casts Expeditious Retreat*

You look tired. You need to relax. I'm a Certified Relaxation Technician, I can help you.

*in her tired state KaeYoss has not trouble giving chase and closing for the 'kill' with his enhansed speed, Jordan tries to increase her pace, but she is panting almost at the brunk of her great resistance*

please... just... go... away!

Jordan Fenix wrote:

but still all the running and struggling agaisnt the elder god are making her grow tired and she is slowing down*

I'll give you the speed you need to escape if you apologize for what you said against Neutral Good alignments.

i am sorry i am sorry i was not thinking right, the elder god called me boring, snif!

Jordan Fenix wrote:

gah!

*jumps lightly at feeling discovered and tries to make a run for it, already tired from struggling with the Elder God*

*easily keeps pace*

You know, that heavy armour of yours is slowing you down, while my lighter garb doesn't hold me back at all. Why don't you get out of ugly tin can?

*actually the cleric has no armor... the rust moster almost destroys her equiment, she used make whole before lossing it completley, but was unable tomdress again, she is wearing just a light bodysuit of cloth; but still all the running and struggling agaisnt the elder god are making her grow tired and she is slowing down*

Jordan Fenix wrote:

*breathes withrelief at leastbelieving she is safe from the monstruous entity... now... she needs away to distract the clown enough soshe can flee the area, see Joanne making her escape and denying her 3 times before the rooster sings twice*

Ooooh, bunny rabbits!

*Looks at the fluffy little critters, enraptured, apparently paying no heed to the priestess, only to whip his head around when she tries to sidle away*

GOTCHA! Hee hee hee!

gah!

*jumps lightly at feeling discovered and tries to make a run for it, already tired from struggling with the Elder God*

It was the tastes that didn't fill me up and let me down hard. Never go fors light clericses. Not worths it.

*breathes withrelief at leastbelieving she is safe from the monstruous entity... now... she needs away to distract the clown enough soshe can flee the area, see Joanne making her escape and denying her 3 times before the rooster sings twice*

well i supposehere is each for its own... a sad tale indeed

mmm Dunwich Horror... that is a great history :D

Tasteses like Good... ::grumbles::

Good never tasteses good... Tasteses like boring...

*Ptoi!* ::spits out Jordan:: Souls need corrupting firsts, then they tastes better.

*pants in the ground recovering slowly and moving toward her equipment, takes it up and with some fear and lot of nervousness*

sorry, nothing can be done... the blessing of Iomedae protects my soul.

*shows Iomedae's Birthmark engraved between her breasts and leaves the place*

Mmm, wiggly.

Tasteses like Glory... ::licks again to try and find a better-tasting taste::

*squirms trying to break free* ahhh, not there!! *her face red as she is handled by the Elder God and tasted in better-tasting places while thinking that she should have learned 'Escape Artist'*

::grabs for Jordan as she tries to run off:: Gotcha!

::liiiiiick::

*cries in surprise, struggling to break freebut unable to escape from the monstrous tentacle, her arms pined to her sides*

hey!! let me go!!!

giak! *says as she feels the wetness of the tongue tasting her, leaving something wet andnasty against her clothes and skin*

don't do that! *blushing heavily, still struggling to break free*

::sticks tentacle into little crack in the wall to find something clothed:: There you are! Found you, little cleric. Yum yum.

*surprised she jumps giving a muffles scream and tries to run away leaving armor and sword behind after saving her equipment from total obliteration*

Jordan Fenix wrote:

while i do believe she did great acts... i can imagine in my sick mind that kind of corporative climbing... i just won't agree in her always lying on her back... maybe with Aroden... but i see her as being the one in charge and in top riding, she IS the Paladin Goddess after all :P

Gives a whole new meaning to the term 'Celestial Mount'...

*opens her mouth to complain, then blushes and mumbels grumbles* damn,... no case arguing i was the one who said that part...

*heard the Littlest Elder God moving around, the sound of the tentacles maddening while she holds her breath for a moment trying not to bring attention to herself, her back against the wall, the tentacle horror that is the littlest Elder God in the other side. She is sweating both from the effort of running and from being nervous and tense, her hand is in the hilt of her sword but she does't wield it, fearing the sound of steel brings her into the horror's attention*

*keeps herself hidden in silence so the elder god will pass and forget about her*

*still hiding very patiently and quietly not to brign attention to herself, whispering to herself* my dad said there would be days like this... well hedidn't said like this... but ugh!

Jordan Fenix wrote:

*running even faster than before*

You can run, but you'll only be tired when I catch you.

*hidding herself after listening to the creepy clown, looking that not him, nor the little Elder God see where she went, then breathing deeply to calm herself and think her next tactical movement*

Jordan Fenix wrote:

hey you yoo KaeYoss... where i can see those hands or i will egt medieval in any or all you *backing toward the exit*

Get medieval? I like the sound of that. Rawr.

Plus, it's not my *hands* you need to be concerned about. You thought the things prodruding from my head are part of a fool's cap? Think again....

*running even faster than before*

*uses the further distraction to run as fast and far as she can, convinced for once that Jason is right and Combat Maneuvers should not be applied during AoO*

still appropiat combat maneuvers shoule be available during an AoO

i would love to read a novel that details Iomedae'smortal life and her 11 achievements...

so i will stop hearing baddies badmouth her!

also its sounds like an interesting options to learn about her battles against Tar-Baphons minions and howshepassed the Star Stone Test

*uses the distraction to keep herself away from the little eldest god and wide even while moving with the same subtetly of a Sherman Tank*

hey Joanne... i am sorry! they... i... gah! ok time to take tactical actions... WITHDRAW!!

Chaotic good tasteses fun, lots of flavors. Lots and lots of flavors all making each other taste nice.

I can tell you how you taste. Can I taste you? Souls are yummy.

shu shu! away with you imitation of elder god

Jordan Fenix wrote:

*gulps with sword in front and a protection from evil spell*

hey you 2 play nice and keep away... its for your own benefit... i swear!

I bet you tasteses like glory. That's the trouble with lawful people, you only taste like one thing. Poor Cleric May tastesed better, like glory and justice and good and elf and abyssal bloodlines all in one NG package.

*standing proud for a moment*

hey hey! i might actually taste like Glory and Sun, pretty much good, and definitively a bit of elf mixed with chelexian vintage... now... why the hell i am answering to this? and pass NG are kind andgood but not disciplined or commited enough... well at elast theya re betterthan CG... they are well... just too caotic for my liking...

*still backing away*

hey you yoo KaeYoss... where i can see those hands or i will egt medieval in any or all you *backing toward the exit*

*gulps with sword in front and a protection from evil spell*

hey you 2 play nice and keep away... its for your own benefit... i swear!

::pats Jordan's head:: That's why I love toying with Paladins so. You're all so cute when flustered!

but but i am LG Cleric! *still blushing* even if I act like a paladin...

What was the purpose of Magic Circle Against Good? It prevents good-aligned OUTSIDERS from closing to melee, but only grants an AC bonus (and mind protection) against other characters.

i think she knows my bonus to hit is horrible unless heavily buffed :P

+4 considering 3rd level and MW Longsword.... i need to cast Bull's Strenght (3.0 edition, thank you), bless, divine right (i think this is the name) will add a +1 to my roll, and magic weapon will add +1 to my damage so all on all i should be able to do hit with a +7 to +9 with a damage of 1d8+3 to +5... of course the problem is that since my shift changed i habe been unable to prepare spells in the morning :S

lots of things and treats to punish poor Jordan

*blushing she just stays silent looking for a way out, knowing her tongue isgetting herself in a lot of trouble already*

Susan Draconis wrote:

::rolls initiative:: 16! I cast Magic Circle Against Good!

*Backs away slowly... far from Jordan* ...as an acollyte to the Eternal Rose I declare... that this won't be pretty, I'm out.

*mumbles grumbles and once in a while sob while having troubles fialing every shot with a crossbow*

this happens when you use dex as your dump attribute to get a decent int, and still i have no answer for the Arazni comment

*takes her crosswbo and making a vow* i will be back! and then you will learn Justice... and to be nice! and not to bad mout Iomedae, Aroden and.. and... damn i can't even defend poor Arazni

Edit:
*Stops herself making counts* +3 for will +2 for Confidence Armor, +4 for base will, hey i have a good chance on passing that save!

*then rememebrs the last cleric of Iomedae in Susan's camapaign and blushing just keeps her distance*

Montalve, are you just gonna let that go? What kind of Paladin are you?!

ohh i wasn't aroun, you are right i can't let this pass... also i am a cleric.. so i am even more aggresiveabout talks about Dogma!

Hm... now that I think of it (and have gained maddening insights from this thread), they never tell us what exactly the Eleven Acts of Iomedae were. Maybe it's not about what she did, but who! There's always more than one way for people to climb the career ladder, including the one where you climb it lying on your back. ;-)

HERETIC! *grabs her sword and gets ready get medieval on the creepy clown*

well at least 2 Acts are know... 1) is helping kick Tar-Baphon's ass; 2) Surviving and passing the Star Stone Test...

the others... infidel you do not deserve to know them! and all truths would be revealed in time!

while i do believe she did great acts... i can imagine in my sick mind that kind of corporative climbing... i just won't agree in her always lying on her back... maybe with Aroden... but i see her as being the one in charge and in top riding, she IS the Paladin Goddess after all :P

KaeYoss wrote:

Hm... now that I think of it (and have gained maddening insights from this thread), they never tell us what exactly the Eleven Acts of Iomedae were. Maybe it's not about what she did, but who! There's always more than one way for people to climb the career ladder, including the one where you climb it lying on your back. ;-)

Yeah but from what I hear that lowers the glass ceiling to demidiety status. Unless of course your sugar-daddy dies randomly (or not so randomly, heh) and you immediately rise to take his portfolio.

what are you trying to imply... dear? *getting sword ready to even more shopping*

Jordan Fenix wrote:

nah

its a good reference for another player i have

Oh no, you don't even start giving those above ideas! I get enough grief as it is, and you know your lot wouldn't be better than mine.

lol i meant the lawful and good and lawful good cruzader reference :P

not the tentacles :P

Teach wrote:

The 6th Act of Iomidae was grappling with dagon without losing her virtue.

What?! She said she wasn't going to write about that! I was drunk, I tell you. She never told me her alignment. You have no idea how pissed Aroden was the next morning when he came to pick her up.

Oh, and she lied about not losing her virtue. Turns out she was good. Very good.

liar liar!

how could you rememebr if you where drunk?

Jordan Fenix wrote:

nah

its a good reference for another player i have

and terrific story that of the poor sister know become follower of the Deep One

as a priestess of Iomedaei hope our justices smacks her... now can i have the sword reforged by the elves for my personal use and so i can be called Queen when i return to the realm?

I have a feeling that one among the pack of hound archons Iomedae had to call off from searching has picked up the pieces of the shattered sword. It will be reforged when Sauron awakens again, I mean, when need of it arises.

lol next AP to ask for justice for her previous "owner" crimes?

i appoint myself for such carrying of justice!

nah
its a good reference for another player i have

and terrific story that of the poor sister know become follower of the Deep One

as a priestess of Iomedaei hope our justices smacks her... now can i have the sword reforged by the elves for my personal use and so i can be called Queen when i return to the realm?

You have my vote! Sunder is not only awful, some of us are, well, sunder magnets... it can be very annoying to say the least.

cough cough

hey at least they apply sunder to to you, i don't even get that!

Well my party was a lot bigger... but since there was some... i think dissappearances would be te term we are, we have just finished the Dungeon of Wrath from burnt Offerings:

*Valeros: CG Human Fighter (half comes, half the time, therest of the time he doesn't comes at all)

*Ayalda, aka Kytin, aka Lucero: CG Varisian Bard (Dancer), chosen of Desna

*Dolar Valdemar: LG Chelexian (brutish)Paladin of Iomedae... for some reason he is still alive... with his 10 in Wisdom.

*Irik Belial, now Irik Fenix: N Chelexian Wizard (Necromancer specialist), husband of the cleric and wantsto become immortal so when she die both of them could be toguether

*Jordan Fenix: LG Half Elven (Chelexian/Mierani Mix) Cleric of Iomedae, she is an Eclesiastic Investigator and married with the above Necromancer, mid adventure... yes they make an odd couple.

Edit: unfortunatelythe Adventure might be ending prematurely for differences with the DM, sight, a shame i liked playing with Jordan :S

Whenever we play Pathfinder Society games, our party usually consists of some combination of the following:

Wynn
Male Andoren human LG Cleric of Iomedae 3
--His battle cry is "For the Wynn!" I am not making this up. He's played by Coridan on these boards.

Sain
Male Andoren human LG Paladin of Iomedae 3
--Notable for wielding a longsword and a tower shield in battle, which he sometimes calls "a door." This is my character.

poor Iomedae, she has always strange fella's worhiping her

Arcturo

Male Chelish human CN Sorcerer 3
--Not so notable in and of himself, but the same player plays this character's half-brother in our group's Rise of the Runelords game.

Leila
Female Qadiran human CN Bard 3 [Not sure of alignment]
--She uses a glaive and sings. This player also plays Arcturo's sister in Curse of the Crimson Throne. (Their mutual father, who resembles Sean Connery, gets around Golarion.)

Sean Connery is cool, obviously he gets aorund Golarion! do they have english accent?

Evan the Slave

Male Chelish halfling CN Druid 1
--Arcturo's slave (purchased at a sale, "Buy one, get one halfling!"). My sister's character. Rides/surfs a snake into/out of combat.

thats a too expensive slave (i don't like halflings)

Saiful

Male Qadiran human NG Druid 1
--Yep, another druid, this one with a horse for an animal companion. Notable in that his first two characters (both Taldan paladins of Iomedae) both died horribly.

ouch that explains why he doesnt do more Taldan paladins of Iomedae

Dogbert wrote:

How do you deal with all your admirers? Should I raze the town a couple of times? Or should I just relax myself and start talking to my wife about polygamy?

I think Calistria and Urgathoa will get along just fine.

i don't think my grandmother agrees inher godess getting that much along with Urgothoa... ok maybe at times...

still... i serve Ioemdae, not my grandmother's faith

Chef Justice wrote:

After eating of the meal, our guest, the rival chief, said that the aurochs tasted like burnt scrub rat, the dessert like the feces of an elderly mule, and the punch reminded him of the weak urine of a Korvosan.

I heard that was the greatest compliment to Shoanti Cuisine. Maybe not in every Quah? See, those cultural differences can be killer.

For example, "aargh!" means "more seething oil on my crotch!" in polyglot. It is known.

apparently that particular Quah jsut decided to take it literal to ebable to murder the great leader :P

such a coward's actions

*blushing as she writes*

ok that was about the leader...what about our enemy's chain of command? should we confront it directly or use diverting tactits to distract them of our true objective?

Naive in Sandpoint

*blushes*

ok now i think it was good fro me to go to Sandpoint Instead of Korvosa like my old friend in there... i will pray to Iomedae to protect and purify her

Dear Ask a Shoanti,

Hi!
Well i recently arrived to Sandpoint with a friend i found in the way, our general idea was not to stay in the town, just to solve a few problems and continue in our way.
But now thinks have changed, i have married my companion (our party wizard/necromancer who is called "Shadow" by the people of the town) people keep relying on us, asking for our help against a goblin attack. I am a Cleric of Iomedae, so i shouldbe in the forefront of the defense... then why are we sent to assassinate their leather? is there Justice in that? what should i do i my husband animates their bodies?

Naive in Sandpoint

this is too caotic
we must bring order to this place, but not like the evil secret police abusing its power... we need order and civilization
but foremost... justice

so any more threath of vandalism will be meet with my sword and the faith of my goddess