Johnny-R-OTN's page

To the clerk: "Ok slack jaw. I am the hygiene officer of this team and before we interact with you I am afraid you'll need a good cleaning. But first, a skin core sample."

<Stabs him witht he skin core.>

"Like I thought. Filthy."

<Johnny opens fire.>

<Shouting to his the others over the blast of his detergent cannon:> "I'm pretty sure it says cone rifle on the requisition!"

It was Dexter that had the obvious cyberarm. Yours is much more organic looking. In fact, unless someone examined it really closely they would think it is a perfectly normal arm. Sometimes you aren't even sure yourself, except for the fact that you often feel like there is something crawling around in there underneath your skin. A cyberarm would be the only logical explanation for such a sensation. You've been meaning to have it looked at.

ROFL

<Johnny scratches at his arm as his comrade pilfers the storage. A little bead of sweat forms on his brow as he wrestles with fears about what'll happen if he gets it examined. OH MY GOD! Maybe his arm has turned commie.>

Johnny has a cyberarm. It's pretty cool too.

Rolf-R-WTF-1 wrote:

stuffs the pez despensers and pills into my sachel, and starts trying to put the red cargo pants on over my red reflec overalls just as Yossa says "move, it people!" starts trying to hop after him with one leg in the cargo pants trying to put the other one in, falls to floor and gets tangeled up in the legs "uh, guys, hey guys, GUYS!!! can someone help me up???" still trying to struggle into the cargo pants.

sorry bout that Yossa, I though Johnny had the trench coat for some reason.

Someone else has the cybernetics. Ohhh wait, you're never wrong, let me add that to my character sheet.

Did everyone catch that little trenchcoat florish when he answered his PDC? It was soooo awesome! Yossa is so f~@@ing cool!

To Rosas: "When he flourished his coat, did you smell that?"

To Benedict: "I think I need that detergent gun back. You-know-who has a little BO problem."

<Points his thumb at Yossa unobtrusively.>

"Yossa, I strongly suggest that you throttle this clerk to death - then YOU go in yourself and get us some real equipment."

<Johnny kicks the box to Benedict in disgust.>

"Have you finished with my detergent cannon, retina burn?"

OMNIPOTENT GM is going to s#%$ when he sees how many posts we've put out in a few hours.

I heard you say it was hot in here, so here's a smoke-detec ... Great Teela's Teeth! That's a yellow-clearance object you're holding, traitor! Blast her, Johnny!

"Good thinking, but I don't have a barrel for my laser. Hold her down will you?"

<Keeps looking for implements of violence.>

"I am the Happiness Officer, it is my job to authorize and administer biochemical supplements, among other things, to guarantee a fun time is had by all. You are not trying to be traitorous and take biochemical supplements without my authorization are you???"

<Passes all pharms to Rolf.>

"You take 'em, happy boy. All I need to be happy is a nice firearm and some fleeing traitors."

Over his shoulder to Rosas: "Not only is that robot arm prohibited at our rank, but it is also quite dirty, and I would be derelict in my duty to allow Benedict to use a dirty and prohibited object."

<Still looking for something that might vaporize Benedict.>

My God, PH, what have you created?

GM EYES ONLY:

In reply to Yossa's whispering: "Oh yeah."

<Tosses the yellow arm to Benedict.>

To Rolf: "Drugs?"

<Rustles around in the box.>

"Oh, Johnny, let Benedict take a look at the equipment, and don't take all the laser barrels for yourself. We want to kill Commies too."

"He's pretty weak looking. I don't think he can carry it. And I wouldn't want him handling something that would harm him. Didn't you notice he's a mutie?"

<Starts checking the contents. Takes anything that could vaporize, burn, cut, rend, chop, freeze, slice, or otherwise harm citizens other than himself. Ignores any pleas by Benedict to take charge of the equipment.>

<Looks at the guy who just walked in.>

"Where did you come from?"

<Scratches his head.>

"Wait your turn, shish-kebab."

<Attention back to the unresponsive clerk.>

"Like I was saying. We're here for our plasma cannon."

<Pushes his way in a little.>

"Excuse me sir, <pretends to be doing sign language, speaking slowly> We NEED weapons."

BENEDICT AND GM EYES ONLY:

GM EYES ONLY:

To imagine Johnny's voice just think Brock Sampson from the Venture Brothers.

<Looks at the clerk, then back at his comrades>

"Decanted a few times too many methinks."

"Hey trenchcoat, you gonna give this guy the requisition or stare at him like a cloning vat tumor?"

Johnny:

** spoiler omitted **

Johnny' loud reply to Benedict: "It's the coat, isn't it. I wonder if it's flammable?"

<Looks sideways at Yossa through narrow slits.>

After arriving at supply, to the clerk: "Wow, clone number 12, you must have seen some violence. You ever mop your own guts and brains off the floor?"

<Hands it over>

"Don't you feel so much better, retina burn."

I hope that detergent cannon has a "tickle" setting.

It says something about 'as flamethrower' in the weapon description.

Download Sothis map here

"HAHaHAHAHhahhahA! Eat soap, mutie."

<Fires the detergent cannon.>

"AHHAHAHAHHAHA"

1d20=8

Wow, I already hate Johnny so much i can't wait to see what happens to him.

"Aaaaahhhhh. The sound of hatred - music to my ears."

<Looks at Benedict down the barrel of the detergent cannon.>

Shall I e-mail it? I don't want to put it on filefactory.

...

I wonder how you managed to get your collar off, though. Mine itches something fierce. And you're so mellow ... that must be nice.

<Scratches neck and takes another sip of Cold Fun.>

<Sniff, sniff.>

"Benedict-R-NLD, I am the hygiene officer assigned to this party, and I'm afraid I've detected an offensive odor on your person. I must ask you to submit to a full body examination immediately. Please remove your equipment and clothing."

<Mimes putting on rubber gloves. Readies his detergent cannon.>

<Sated by the slaying of several IR clones, Johnny hands in his laser rifle dutifully.>

"Better things will come, I always say."

<Checks the settings on his detergent cannon and...>

GM EYES:

... This is where you are required to check in your laser rifles....

Laser rifles? Can we keep our laser pistols and other assigned equipment?

"...Nod's as good as a wink to a blind man!"

<Puzzled look. Scratches his head.>

<Benedict slides with Johnny, trying to stay behind him, and smiling weakly as he finishes his Cold Fun.>

<Glances back.>

Shouting: "HEY RETINA BURN! You're getting a little too close. I might accidentally kill you. My reflexes are lethal."

<Does a couple of fake looking martial arts moves.>

PH. I made a layered pdf of the Sothis map. Interested?

<Nodding toward Yossa.>

"That coat bothers me."

"Camera's roll'n so like...let's roll, you're the main boss man."

<Sidles over to the redhead.>

"So, have you seen the new RGE-1,000,000 Plasma rifle? Piece of work, piece of work."

<Knowing wink.>

"Hit a commie with that thing and all that's left is retina burn on your own eyes.... <trails off> Yup. Still got a commie shaped black spot on my left peripheral side. Maybe you didn't catch my name with all that excitement. Johnny. Johnny-R-OTN."

"Let's roll."

<Checks all his weapons.>

"Ready for anything."

<Johnny silently hopes the paper has instructions for performing heinous acts of violence on Benedict.>

Now gritting his teeth violently: "It's a figure of speech, moron."

<Very quietly through clenched teeth.>

"I got my eye on you, mutie."

<Complies immediately.>

"I hope he blasts the mutie. <snicker>"

<Johnny places himself physically between Yossa and Rosas... He distracted for a second by her hair then begins again:

"I'm not seeing any hate here, are you telling me that we have a mutie amongst us and you're not feeling any hate. Mutie's live to bring down the computer. Don't you love the computer?"

<Points at the trenchcoat.>

"That looks unsanitary."

<Holds his hand out.>

"Johnny. Hygiene officer."

...

"I hate mutants. Hey everybody, do you hate mutants?"

<Fires a few shots down the range.>

"This is your team leader speaking. Who's ready to KILL SOME COMMIES!!!"

GM:** spoiler omitted **

"Very good, very good. That's some good hate. Do you see that citizens? Model hate right there, commendable!"

I'll be AFC for about 36 hours.

You kids shut up and get back home now! I'll show you some god with the back of my hand!

GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

MUST HAVE SCOTCH!

As a player, I'd hate this. Skill points help define a character. "Either your 10th level character is an Olympic level swimmer or can't swim at all, take your pick." Yuck.

Kruelaid does not like losing skill points.

gwwwWWWAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa!

This forum seems to be the most congenial I've ever seen; there's more intelligent and creative interaction and less petty bickering. That's enough to keep me here even without the contest. You all are a great group to know.

I am mortified by your suggestion that we are not petty. Make a typo and see what happens.

And... congenial? Congenial! <has a conniption, whisked away in an ambulance>

GwaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!