Breathing a sigh of relief, "Whew. That was a close one. It looks like whatever I did worked. Never count out a good rap ta the heart. That'll get it goin' ever time." He winks. "Good ta see ya breathin' again, Morgrym. Now get up and let's move. We're wastin' time."
"HEY!!! RETA LIKE OLD FOOFELAH! OLD FOOFELAH REAL WISE. SHE MORE WISER THAN THE WISER ONES. AND SHE HAVE GOODEST STORIES." She claps. "SHE WAY BETTER THAN BIRDCRUNCHER SPY, PUSSL; AND BETTER THAN STOOPID OL' POOG, WHO NEVER FIXES US WITH FIXIN' STICK!" She crosses her arms and huffs. She then looks around to see if anyone is around before "whispering", "Oh, and Reta NOT. GO. BACK. AND. GET. CHUFFY." She shakes her head 'no' quite demonstratively. "RETA TELL TRUTH. RETA ALWAYS TELL TRUTH," she says with a straight face that last only but a moment before breaking out in giggles.
Great submissions! I'm finishing up reading through all 26 entries.
Like a good professor, I've got a grading rubric for each, so I should be able to narrow down the group by Friday. I'm traveling tomorrow, so I'll have limited internet.
My biggest regret is being able to take everyone.
LOL! Yeah I'd probably regret that also, having to run an adventure for 26 people! That's a heck of an undertaking! This has gotta be one of the easiest recruitment threads ever! ;)
Sorry, I couldn't resist pointing this out. It was just too funny. You gotta admit, it's pretty amazing how a sentence reads if you leave out one simple word. :)
"WHY WANT STOOPID PICTURES FROM FAT HUMAN? RETA NO LIKE STOOPID PICTURES. NO PICTURES OF RETA SO RETA NO WANT. CAPTAIN NEED PICTURE OF RETA. RETA'S CUTE." She smiles bashfully as her pointed, unbrushed, gremlin-like teeth show. Instantly snapping back into pout mode, "RETA AGREE WITH VELAG, THIS PLACE BORING." As she notices Bucko sniffing the air, her look turns feral. "YOU SNIFF DOGS, BUCKO?" She sniffs the air herself as she looks around the room, hoping there are some nearby that she can mutilate.
Iozef rolls his eyes at the mention of the annoying Windle. I should say. He thinks to himself, per the mention of Windle being, 'no friend of Pharasmins'. "Mayor, I am at a loss as to why scholar Hyve would name be. I barely know the gentleman. But I assure you, I have the utmost confidence in my ability to take up the mantle in which he abandon." He says point blank. "Very good then. We shall see what may have become of Commander Garus and his men. Good day to you, Mayor."
At Slipper Market
Ignoring the weather, Iozef takes a moment to peer at all the gawkers staring out their windows. "You there," Iozef points to a random Crow, "Crow person. Now that we are here, are you the one to lead us to the tunnels? Wait, before you answer, have any of you seen the physical nature of this creature? Or is the large gaping holes that it manages to leave, the only evidence we have? And just to be clear, there hasn't been one to return from the tunnels out of the commander and his men?"
"Once we're close, I'll move in and attempt to scout out their lair. Try to get a count of how many there are. Hopefully, I don't get seen. Once we've figured that out, I'll let you fellas know what we're gonna face and then I can draw 'em out right into you all; ambush'em but good! You fellas can use the trees and such for cover." He thinks over the plan, wondering what he may have left out. "Oh yeah! If I do get caught, hopefully I'll be able to get away before they rip me limb from limb, BUT, if not, then just follow the sound of my screams." He smiles, nodding psychotically.
Edit:Perception:1d20 + 12 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 12 + 2 = 21
Don't forget to add this to your roll as well, fellas.
Terrain Bond (Ex):
Allies within LOS and hearing gain +2 Initiative, Perception, Stealth, Survival and don't leave tracks within your favored terrain.
Although, I would be keeping a pretty good distance from them, hiding in some brush or what have you. But just in case it's necessary. Unless it's possible to hide within the confines of this building.
If not, she would make her way through the front, noticing Chuffy. At which time she would then check to see if he was alive now, instead of later as mentioned, and then follow course as stated below whether he is or not.
Reta keeps her distance until the longshanks have left and she feels it is safe. She will then go back and see if Chiggo is still alive. If so, she'll drag him out and away from the huts. When she gets him free of the abandon building, "Yous always getting dead, Stoopids! If Chiggo just does what Reta says, Chiggo not be getting dead! Stoopids!" She gripes and complains as she drags him by his feet. "Reta find Old Foofelah. She know everything." As she does, she remembers Chuffy. She checks on him to see if he is still alive. If so, she'll grab him by his foot and drag him as well. "Chuffy make Reta laugh. He always try to kill Gutwad." She giggles.
If either of them are dead, she we loot the bodies and head for the nearest tribe. If Chuffy is dead, Reta will just shake her head but her eyes gleam at the fancy dogslicer she has just acquired. "Yous always make Reta laugh, Chuffy." She giggles as she sheathes her "new" weapon. If Chiggo is dead, though, she gives him a swift kick for "really" getting dead this time.
As Reta continues to make her escape, she can't help but think to herself...
Goblin:
Reta not stoopids. Reta know when time to run. Chiggo stoopids for not burning hut like Reta telled him. Stoopid Chiggo. No saving Chiggo from getting dead this time. Nope. Not this time. Stoopid Chiggo. She pauses momentarily from her thoughts. Maybe Reta still see if Chiggo alive after giant and longshanks leave.
Seeing the lawman fall to a heap, Casey moves into the room to see what has happened. Aiming his gun at the dead bugbear then turning on the goblins, "Alright gobbie woman. Get on outta here." Turning to the others, "Don't know what y'all wanna do with this gobbie woman and I don't care, but I'm sendin' her outta this room." Ignoring the goblin, he bends down to examine Adonai. "The lawman ain't dead yet." He relates. "Dangit lawman. Jerjia told you to bring 'em on out. Just like a lawman, wantin' to deal out justice himself. Maybe if all you lawman actually worked together, instead of trying to one up another, maybe you might catch a bad guy or two." During his rant, he digs through his pack and pulls out one of his potions. "I sure hate doin' this, but I ain't draggin' your full metal butt everywhere I go." He tells the unconscious paladin as he pours it down his throat.
Potion of clw:1d8 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4
Waiting a few moments to see if he comes to, and realizing he isn't going to, Casey slaps him on the cheek a few times. "Let's go, lawman! We ain't got all day! C'mon!" Slaps him again a few more times. "This kinda fun." He mentions with the straightest of faces. "Too bad we gotta wake 'im. You gonna owe me for these potions, lawman. Don't worry, I'll be sure to remind ya." He then removes the last of his potions and makes Adonai drink that one as well.
Potion of clw:1d8 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5
Seeing the lawman start to stir, Casey stands, "Get up, lawman. We ain't got time for you to be takin' no nap. And you owe me two bottles of the feel better drink. And I don't mean whiskey. Hold a minute, come to think of it, you might as well owe me that too." He deadpans as he steps out of the room, his gun propped on his shoulder.
Reta's eyes go big as she didn't realize Chuffy had a curative on hand. Her smile widens. She helps Chiggo up. "STOP GETTING DEAD CHIGGO! RETA RUNNING OUT OF WAYS TO MAKE YOU ALIVE!" She scolds as she points her finger at him. "Now we help Chuffy find Fat Slorb and end Fat Slorb." She tells him, her dogslicer out. "Then we get Chief Fatwad's daughter to marry Chuffy. Okay, Chiggo? NOW DON'T GET DEAD AGAIN!"
She then notices Poog. "POOG! POOG! YOU COME WITH US! WE MAY NEED MORE YUCKY MEDICINE FROM YOU! YOU GONNA HELP US KILL FAT SLORB AND HELP CHUFFY MARRY CHIEF'S DAUGHTER! CHUFFY NEED ZARONGEL BLESSING AND ONLY HERO CAN GIVE IT! WE HEROES! NO ONE ELSE HEROES BUT US! FAT SLORB MAKE FUN OF HEROES! IF FAT SLORB MAKE FUN OF HEROES, THAT MEAN HE MAKE FUN OF YOU, THAT MEAN HE MAKE FUN OF ZARONGEL!" That line of reasoning making perfect sense to her.
As she makes plans to begin to leave, she remembers something. "Oops! Reta almost forgot." Seeing Old Foofelah getting into some type of commotion with Tucko, "OLD FOOFELAH! OLD FOOFELAH! YOU COME WITH US TOO! FAT SLORB TRYING TO TAKE CHUFFY'S WIFE AWAY! LEAVE STOOPID TUCKO! WE KILL HIM LATER! HE NOTHING GOBLIN! WE HERO GOBLINS! LET'S GO OLD FOOFELAH!"
She then turns to Chuffy and Chiggo. "WE HEROES. FAT SLORB NEED TO KNOW WHO FAT SLORB IS DEALING WITH." She salivates as an insane plan is forming. She again lowers to her "whisper" voice. "Okay, Chuffy, Chiggo. Reta will find Fat Slorb cause Reta good finder. Reta will 'stract Fat Slorb, then Chuffy be sneaksy and come up behind Fat Slorb and cut him. Chiggo help Reta 'stract Fat Slorb, while Chuffy be sneaksy. Reta think that goodest plan." She giggles.
Reta quickly moves behind the monologuing snooty gnome, thrusting her dogslicer through his back, while angling the blade to where it slices his lungs and pierces his heart. Pulling the slicer out, she stabs him several more times over and over. As he falls to the ground, she bends down, grabs the hair on top of his head pulling his head back, takes the slicer and draws it across his throat, forming a neat little crimson waterfall. Slamming his head into the deck of the ship a few times and then driving her blade through his skull for good measure, she gets up ready to face the dog. ;)
"CLUMSY POOG, CHIGGO GET FIRST KISS! AND THEN MAYBE HE GET RETA'S GIRLY PARTS! UNLESS CHIGGO GET DEAD BY LONGLEGS EAT GOBLIN BABIES MANY! THEN MAYBE YOU GET KISS AND RETA'S GIRLY PARTS! RETA NOT SURE IF SHE LIKE YOU YET." She states as a matter of fact, as she backs up and drops her dogslicer. "STUPID SLICER!" She fumes, drawing her bow and firing.
5' step to B 16; Drop dogslicer, Draw bow; attack bug
Sorry. Didn't really want to go there. But now, the one phrase that I can't get out of my head is "nasty little rabbits." I blame Joana. You all should be very afraid. :)
Listenting to Gutwad talk, well, mostly, Reta gives them a vote of confidence. "NO YOU WORRY, CHIEF FATGUTWAD! RETA WILL HELP PROTECT OLD FOOFELAH! RETA MAKE SURE OLD FOOFELAH NOT DIE. OLD FOOFELAH HAVE GOOD STORIES THAT RETA LOVES." She says with a grand smile.
"WHY YOU GIVE MAP TO POOG, FAT SLORB! WHY NOT RETA! WHY, FAT SLORB!" She crosses her arms and pouts.
