Jackin' Ape's page

Ooo-ooo!
Jackin Ape rushes into the house when he hears the commotion with the cookery. Seeing the zombie has returned, he begins grappling with the armored corpse to get Hungry Jack's cookbook away from him. This ape knows who prepares his meals!
Aaa-aaa-aaa! Rrrrr!

Loud threatening hoots are heard from the rafters.

WOO-OOO!

Jackin Ape begins inhaling. It sounds somewhere between an industrial vacuum and a jet turbine. His chest and upper body swell several times their normal size. Suddenly he stops, and all is silent. Then, projecting his mouth forward towards the verminous reptiles and leaning forward on his arms, he unleashes mighty winds, tainted with ape breath, blowing the pests off of the Jacks' lawn and into another thread.

Hoots at demented, senile aunt who is trying to speak through a mouth full of snake. Continues "escorting" unwelcome guests off the premises, Jackin' Ape style.

*Pulls diswiker from his head fur, continues the hooting laughter that was mistaken for pain, and hurls the re-plumped snake at the aunt so that it wraps around her face and gags her mouth. Chases ijits off the premises*
WOO-OOO!

*Seeing KC, the Ape flies into a murderous rage and begins pounding him with his honda-sized fists.*

Suddenly awakes from his slumbering, Jackin Ape waits for the invading Diswiker to be in position, then come crashing down on him with his enormous weight. Splat! He hands the flattened snake over to the Jacks, suitable for wearing as a belt or use as a mechanical belt.

Watching Malice Jack prepare his elaborate trap awakens Jackin Ape's bestial cunning. He climbs into the rafters of the porte-cochere and up into its dark recesses, where he waits to pounce on fleeing interlopers.

I'm tinkering with the look of the Ape. Thoughts?

Recognizing R.H.'s voice, the ape relaxes its mighty thews, and begins to return to its normal size. The blazes in its eyes recede to burning embers, and with one last hoot at the fleeing interlopers, it emerges from its rage.

Seeing the new entrants, it tenses and from its throat rises a low growl...

Jackin Ape awakes from the drugged-banana-induced-sleep that someone had treacherously provided. Scenting Kobold cronies on the premises, he flies into a rage heretofore unseen--whose very sight would threaten any being less than a Jack will the loss of their sanity. Foaming and fleet, he starts snatching all the intruders and flings them out onto the lawn. Once there, his increased speed and strength is matched by another awesome sight: he trebles in size. Feathers and scales start flying everywhere as he smashes and flings the bodies of the wretched intruders in every direction. He fails to take notice of their puny physical attacks, and magic shimmers on his fur and dissipates, coated as it is with Panama Jack's Total Magic Block.
WOO-OOO!

Takes Jackin' Ape back to Jack clubhouse

Suddenly, Jackin Ape breaks away from R.H. and goes hurtling towards the prone body of Jack A. Nape. He grabs it by its contorted limbs and takes to swinging him about wildly. He lets the body finally go, after building up tremendous inertia, and sends it flying towards one of the stone columns that rings the arena. There is a sickening smack as it impacts. He beats his fists against his chest and gives vent with deafening hoots of victory!

He then meekly returns to R.H., picks up his bananas, and is led back to his guard station at the entrance to the Jack Clubhouse. He turns his head back once and screeches defiantly at all Non-Jacks.

Jackin' Ape leaps into the ring, hooting like a maniac. He hefts the disguise of the thief into the air and brutally slams it on the ground to tenderize it, multiple times.
WOO-OOO!
He then wanders out of the ring for some bananas.
Sorry guys, got to get to work!

Goes reluctantly with Reggie, hooting loudly at Panama as he goes, his mighty knuckles dragging on the floor.

Spits the pooch out, who, slicked with viscous saliva, goes rocketing towards R.H.

Liquid streams down the chin of the ape as he looks at Panama, lifting his brows and attempting to look innocent. He opens his paws out and shrugs his shoulders.

Lifts Lamafrog by the tail, high above him. His mouth opens...and continues to open to what seem impossibly wide dimensions. Lamafrog disappears into the ape's mouth...except for his stubby, fluffy tail
Hmph. Hmph.

Aaa! Aaa! Aaa!

ooo-OOO!
Swings up from door to bar, waddles across bar, strewing peanuts all over the floor, leap to chandler and starts swinging.
Ooo-ooo!

SLAMS DOOR...opens door...SLAMS DOOR...opens door...SLAMS DOOR...opens door...SLAMS DOOR...opens door...SLAMS DOOR...opens door...SLAMS DOOR...opens door...SLAMS DOOR...opens door...SLAMS DOOR...opens door...SLAMS DOOR...opens door...SLAMS DOOR...opens door...SLAMS DOOR...opens door...SLAMS DOOR...opens door...SLAMS DOOR...opens door...SLAMS DOOR...opens door...SLAMS DOOR...opens door...SLAMS DOOR...opens door...
Woo-Ooo!