Jack Hammer's page

Methinks that I may have scared off everyone with my stalker side. :)

Not possible, Mistress Celery.

Solnes wrote:

I have vista, uploading pics is no prob. Or at least uploading to FB is easy.

I haven't been able to login at all, actually. Keep saying I need to have cookies enabled, despite the fact that I already do, and have the site added as a Trusted one. The only thing I haven't tried is completely disabling my security settings, which I have no great desire to do for obvious reasons...

I have medium settings and Vista and it works fine, but I can't wait for my free copy of Windows 7.

Devlyn, Jack o' Nine Dales wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Solnes wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Solnes wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Solnes wrote:

"Oh Solnes"

Hmmm...trying to raise your grade? ;)

I do have a teacher/student/raising grade fantasy. ;)

I could teach you AutoCAD, and I'm a very hard grader. ;P

lol, I was thinking more along the lines of the teach in the glasses, with the button up shirt and sweater vest.

You missed the double intendre... ;P

Of course with you as the teach....Mmmmm...need a cardigan with buttons too...Mmmmm

Glad I'm going to lunch now - getting much difficult to concentrate at the moment.... ;P

Enjoy lunch.

Although sorry to dissapoint, but I have no button down cardigan. :)

Then the sweater vest will just have to be ripped off! ;)

Enjoy lunch!

Jack Hammer wrote:

Solnes wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Solnes wrote:

"Oh Solnes"

Hmmm...trying to raise your grade? ;)

I do have a teacher/student/raising grade fantasy. ;)

I could teach you AutoCAD, and I'm a very hard grader. ;P

lol, I was thinking more along the lines of the teach in the glasses, with the button up shirt and sweater vest.

You missed the double intendre... ;P

Of course with you as the teach....Mmmmm...need a cardigan with buttons too...Mmmmm

Jack Hammer wrote:

Solnes wrote:

"Oh Solnes"

Hmmm...trying to raise your grade? ;)

I do have a teacher/student/raising grade fantasy. ;)

I could teach you AutoCAD, and I'm a very hard grader. ;P

"Oh Solnes"

Hmmm...trying to raise your grade? ;)

Smelling coffee but having to wait that long is mild torture.

Nothing wrong with a little mild torture between close friends. ;)

Jack Hammer wrote:

Moorluck wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Solnes wrote:

It happened today. I knew this would happen, I knew this day would eventually find me. I didn't think it would happen at the age of 27.

** spoiler omitted **

:(

Maybe he was referring to your, you know, considerable assets...

** spoiler omitted **

Probably wasn't looking at your eyes, either.

I have been married to her for 8 years and even I forget that she has eyes sometimes. ;)

** spoiler omitted **

Bet you sing...

** spoiler omitted **

Nope...** spoiler omitted ** ;)

No 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough'?

Jack Hammer wrote:

Solnes wrote:

It happened today. I knew this would happen, I knew this day would eventually find me. I didn't think it would happen at the age of 27.

** spoiler omitted **

:(

Maybe he was referring to your, you know, considerable assets...

** spoiler omitted **

Probably wasn't looking at your eyes, either.

I have been married to her for 8 years and even I forget that she has eyes sometimes. ;)

** spoiler omitted **

Bet you sing...

It happened today. I knew this would happen, I knew this day would eventually find me. I didn't think it would happen at the age of 27.

** spoiler omitted **

:(

Maybe he was referring to your, you know, considerable assets...

Probably wasn't looking at your eyes, either.

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

flash_cxxi wrote:

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

Hang in there Flash. :)

Hey... is my webcam on... 8O

{blushes}

;)

I thought only Solnes only had access to that kind of webcam action...
It seems you've found a way around that...

This is where being called a freak of nature is a compliment. Or is your webcam set on zoom?;)

Tiny Tina wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Tiny Tina wrote:

]Sorry, my bottom is already spoken for.

Yes, yes it is.

I think some poet referred to it as the 8th Wonder of the World.

Oh wait, that was me.

Christina says it's the First Wonder of the World.

It's true, I've heard her say it. Usually just before they both disappear for several hours. :)

Several hours? Lightweights.

Something that beautiful needs to be appreciated for far longer.

Jack Hammer wrote:

Tiny Tina wrote:

]Sorry, my bottom is already spoken for.

Yes, yes it is.

I think some poet referred to it as the 8th Wonder of the World.

Oh wait, that was me.

Christina says it's the First Wonder of the World.

Probably due to quality. The other wonders are older.

But I concede the point, though I hold open the subject for future analysis.

Ward wrote:

Bunny the Intern wrote:

Tiny Tina wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Bunny the Intern wrote:

Ward wrote:

June Cleaver wrote:

Mairkurion {tm} wrote:

I support women being on top.

Ward never lets me be on top. He actually prefers to have me sedated.

Speeds into thread.

That way, she doesn't know when I push her out of the bed for a girl from the secretary pool.
Peels out, swerving for June.

You mean there are others? You told me you were the only one Ward!

More likely that you told him that he was the only one.

That's what she told me too.

You were the only one, that night.

Girls...girls!

As long as we all agree June needs to be run over, we can head back to my place afterwards and settle this with Jello-wrestling.

Like that's going to work. You already ran me over with the lawnmower, and it just made me prettier.

The way you two fight it's no surprise that your son, KC, is so adversarial.

Jack Hammer wrote:

Tiny Tina wrote:

Lord Secretary of Nature wrote:

The top of something, if it is a thing, is a thing of nature.

I like to be on top.

I call bottom! ;P

In a different context, you could be asking for something very different...

Bottom of the Barrel?

Bottoms Up?

Fat bottomed girls? (They make the rockin' world go 'round.)

We've hit rock bottom?

I give up. I have no idea what you mean. ;P

SLUT! :) When is your next openning?

Holds number 69. Reads sign saying 'Now Serving - 22'. Looks sad.

Jack Hammer wrote:

Tiny Tina wrote:

Lord Secretary of Nature wrote:

The top of something, if it is a thing, is a thing of nature.

I like to be on top.

I call bottom! ;P

Sorry, my bottom is already spoken for.

Yes, yes it is.

I think some poet referred to it as the 8th Wonder of the World.

Oh wait, that was me.

Ward wrote:

June Cleaver wrote:

Mairkurion {tm} wrote:

I support women being on top.

Ward never lets me be on top. He actually prefers to have me sedated.

Speeds into thread.

That way, she doesn't know when I push her out of the bed for a girl from the secretary pool.
Peels out, swerving for June.

You mean there are others? You told me you were the only one Ward!

More likely that you told him that he was the only one.

Lord Secretary of Nature wrote:

The top of something, if it is a thing, is a thing of nature.

I like to be on top.

I call bottom! ;P

*Pokes the thread*

Is this still on?

*tok tok tok*

Yep. You're still wearing that beanie.

Ban hammer, ban hammer, ban hammer, ban hammer....

Good morning. What did I miss?

John and Marsha finally consumated their love, albeit over the dead body of Marsha's husband. Their mother was quite upset with them until she saw the locket hanging out of the dead man's pocket. A locket she had thought lost long ago, when she had that tryst with a young boy in Rio. Realization dawning on her, she stabbed her two children to death for killing their father and fled the area with the carnival. She is now beginnning her new life as the Bearded Lady. Oh wait, that's my soap opera...

Freehold DM wrote:

David Fryer wrote:

And it all started with a simple question, are dragons overrated?

I'd say no...these things have a thousand and one ways to kill you- and that's before you factor in their magic. As a good friend of mine once put it, their name is in the title for a reason. I think this was the same guy who had us face a dragon that was a little below us in CR in combat once. It wiped the floor with the party- even the twinked-out combat monster.

See? SEE? Someone appreciates us!

We've always appreciated dragon treasu...err, dragons.

I thought those were jars of homemade mesquale, and you just didn't have any worms.

Tasted good, though I didn't get drunk enough. I left the heads in the empty jars.

Jack Hammer wrote:

lynora wrote:

taig wrote:

lynora wrote:

So the meeting went alright. I've got copies of the Connors-3 reports from each of us and from his teacher, and we have to take those and talk to his pediatrician again and see what if anything she can do for us, since she might at least be able to consult with someone on our behalf now that we have the reports.

Good luck, Lynora. I'm sorry this is getting dragged out so much.

Well, at least we're finally starting to make forward progress. I've been on the other end of this process. I know it takes time. At least nobody's gonna tell him that he couldn't possibly have what he has like they did with me. (For those who aren't as familiar with this nonsense, back when I was in elementary school it was a popularly held belief that ADHD only occurred in boys. It's stupid, but sometimes people are.)

Wow. Didn't know that. But you were in elementary school only about 10 yrs ago, right? ;)

Scary...I considered using the same line. :)

LOL. We've been hanging around the same threads for too long.

taig wrote:

lynora wrote:

So the meeting went alright. I've got copies of the Connors-3 reports from each of us and from his teacher, and we have to take those and talk to his pediatrician again and see what if anything she can do for us, since she might at least be able to consult with someone on our behalf now that we have the reports.

Good luck, Lynora. I'm sorry this is getting dragged out so much.

Well, at least we're finally starting to make forward progress. I've been on the other end of this process. I know it takes time. At least nobody's gonna tell him that he couldn't possibly have what he has like they did with me. (For those who aren't as familiar with this nonsense, back when I was in elementary school it was a popularly held belief that ADHD only occurred in boys. It's stupid, but sometimes people are.)

Wow. Didn't know that. :(

But you were in elementary school only about 10 yrs ago, right? ;)

I wouldn't mind a Paizonian dream once in a while. At least, it would be a break from my usual depressing dreams about working. Then I wake up and work. Blech.

Yeah. Sleeping on the job ain't what it used to be.

"I thought it was a cherry bomb! How would I know?"

Pulls out 'toy gun' left under bar.

"Hey, he musta left this behind too."

Aims toy gun at CJ's autographed Joe Montana football on the bookshelf, and squeezes the trigger. A crackling beam of lightning disintegrates the football.

"Oops!"

hides gun under a towel

Callous Jack wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Sure thing, Mr. Cheney.

How 'bout a Dark & Stormy? With a cherry on top? Don't worry about the sparkling fuse...err...sparkler.

Say, why does that sparkler look like a stick of dynamite?

Oooo, an Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator! I thought they stopped making those?

I found it under the bar. That guy Marvin from the work crew must have left it behind accidentally.

Moorluck wrote:

And on that note, I gotta clean Finder Wyvernfur's cage, ya'll have a Good night, and try not to dream of me coverd in Mickey D's Mac sauce... it creeps me out when you do that. :P

Damn! How'd you know? Are you reading my journals?

Maybe that billboard on I-75? It's kinda obvious.

lynora wrote:

Moorluck wrote:

lynora wrote:

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

lynora wrote:

lol. It wasn't that bad. No, really.....er, *blush* did I mention that I have a bit of a thing for Drew Barrymore? So, ummm, I'm sure the movie had a plot and all, and I'm sure that it was awful, but.....

+1 :)

Yeah, I probably shouldn't even mention how many times I've watched Ever After. That dress does amazing things for her cleavage. :)

Oh you mean the cleavage that isn't there in her Playboy spread? Trust me, she's better off leaving the dress ON. ;)

Oh sure, just ruin my fantasies why don't you ;)

OK. If you want me too.

** spoiler omitted **

Blaspheny! You've been flagged for this! ;)

My movie taste tend to be out of sync with most folks, there are a few popular flicks I've liked but the ones like Donnie Darko and The Matrix films I would rather have a root canal than have to watch again.

As for Never Been Kissed. I took the wife to see it when we were dating, she really liked it. She liked it so much we had to go see it 3 times..... the things a guy will do for love. :P

Or boobs!

Moorluck wrote:

Solnes wrote:

I axed you a ?? mr hubby. ;)

And I answered it. Now what did I tell you about talking back to me woman!? ;)

Uh hum....Yeah....he he he.....I don't think so. ;)

Maybe she'll be the future Ex-Mrs due to polygamy laws?

I heard PETA was invented for the sole purpose of getting hot women to pose nekkid. Go PETA!

Jack Hammer wrote:

Callous Jack wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Callous Jack wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Callous Jack wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Boobs, booze and gun barrels. What could be better?

You're not even aiming in the right direction!

*hic*

Did I get some on your leg? Sorry.

*hic*

*Blam*

Owww........ *hic*

Sorry, I was aiming for Fratjack.

Sure thing, Mr. Cheney.

How 'bout a Dark & Stormy? With a cherry on top? Don't worry about the sparkling fuse...err...sparkler.

Say, why does that sparkler look like a stick of dynamite?

It's just for decoration. Gives the drink a little extra kick.

inches away slowly, heading behind the recently reinforced bar

Jack Hammer wrote:

Callous Jack wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Callous Jack wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Boobs, booze and gun barrels. What could be better?

You're not even aiming in the right direction!

*hic*

Did I get some on your leg? Sorry.

*hic*

*Blam*

Owww........ *hic*

Sorry, I was aiming for Fratjack.

Sure thing, Mr. Cheney.

How 'bout a Dark & Stormy? With a cherry on top? Don't worry about the sparkling fuse...err...sparkler.

Jack Hammer wrote:

Callous Jack wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Boobs, booze and gun barrels. What could be better?

You're not even aiming in the right direction!

*hic*

Did I get some on your leg? Sorry.

*hic*

*Blam*

Owww........ *hic*

Jack Hammer wrote:

Boobs, booze and gun barrels. What could be better?

You're not even aiming in the right direction!

*hic*

Did I get some on your leg? Sorry.

*hic*

Jack Hammer wrote:

Callous Jack wrote:

Hey, c'mon, what's a few stray arrows and shotgun blasts between friends?

Shotgun? Did someone mention shotguns?

shotguns 3 Dark & Stormys

Now that's a shotgun! *hic*

Perhaps having target practice near the bar is not such a good idea...

Boobs, booze and gun barrels. What could be better?

Gettin' ready to head to buy gas and hit Half Price Books.

Pull my finger and you'll have all the gas you can handle!

Hey, c'mon, what's a few stray arrows and shotgun blasts between friends?

Shotgun? Did someone mention shotguns?

shotguns 3 Dark & Stormys

Now that's a shotgun! *hic*

I just applied for what has to be the best job ever. It is a job testing slut machines...

Fixed it for you...

In Stepford, West World, or Surrogates? ;P

I am!

But not too sick to camp, obviously! You...

Last night's leg was a non-elemination leg when Phil didn't go straight out into the field and eliminate Matt and Gary the moment Sam and Dan checked in.

Doesn't this fall under 'What's happened?'. Sounds kinda like a soap opera. lol.

My fleshpuppet, heathansson, is sick.

Did you promote him from fleshslave?

Hope he gets better soon!

It could be worse, when I want a new book Solnes makes me perform strange sexual acts before she lets me order. I feel so used... ;)

Me too!

Anyone else here just wanna stay in bed today?

The look of hope fades as JH realizes the temptress lives hours away, and was likely speaking rhetorically.

Happy friggin' Friday!

GAWD! I don't know how I've survived this week.

Maybe I've become undead somewhere along the way. I am kinda hungry for

Jack Hammer wrote:

Solnes wrote:

Devlyn, Jack o' Nine Dales wrote:

Solnes wrote:

Devlyn, Jack o' Nine Dales wrote:

Solnes wrote:

I mean seriously, what is the fun in knowing something somone else doesn't when you can't tease? ;)

And you do so enjoy to tease, if these boards are any indication.... ;P

I do, I do!! Teasing is fun! Especially when you have such a wonderful pool of teaseess. :)

I can just picture her doing short hops up and down, clapping her hands while saying that - if she didn't have to type, of course ;)

I kinda do. :D

I do so love knowing something this good. :)

Meh, the secret will be out once someone starts showing.

Uhm, NO, not that kinda secret. lol, besides, if that happened I would be very upset with my doc.

Didn't say it was you.........