Jack Hammer's page

Jack Hammer wrote:

The aftermath of pony spam Hitler, on Pony Spam

Some text profanity, but what do ya expect?

Did you just Godwin us?

It was better than this one Renard

I need a beer, or twelve, after that one.

The aftermath of pony spam Hitler, on Pony Spam

Some text profanity, but what do ya expect?

Was I the only Jack to spam the pony? I hope not.

Now, where's that beer I was promised?

In a land of too much seriousness we are the voice of beer.

Wow, I missed this thread last year.

Then you owe us two years worth of presents! I want a beer tanker truck, and a Christmas Tree made of nachos.

Arielle wrote:

Frost the Ancient wrote:

Mrdarknlight wrote:

Frost the Ancient wrote:

Mrdarknlight wrote:

Another of my questions who is Frost the Ancient?

A great wyrm white dragon mage from a roleplay a few of us used to play in. His game involved a bunch of gods and suchwhat, so his presence wasn't too bad. In this game, however, it'd be a bit much.

So you thought it was a good idea to bring in a god level dragon on top of demons,devils, and Micheal going nuts? Sad part at this point I do not think it would be a bad idea.

"This school contains many loose cannons...best put a stop to that. Where is the leader, that I may kill him?"

Do you really want me to call my parents? ;P

*cracks knuckles*

*cracks walnuts*

Crimson Jester wrote:

Gruumash . wrote:

So much did they charge you AZ? ;)

They might have double charged him, it being a slow night and all.

Hell no! I wouldn't touch them with a standard issue 10' pole that's been enchanted by the Whispering Tyrant to withstand everything up to and including dragonfire.

There's a cream for Dragonfire. Or, so I've heard.

FAWesome name for a STD

Crimson Jester wrote:

Well, if you've got it, flaunt it.

We're still trying to identify what you've "got"...

;-)

And if there's a cream for it.

;P

Am I famous or infamous?

Yes

Freehold DM wrote:

Celestial Healer wrote:

Guess who got a job?

This guy.

FAWRIGHT!

Fify.

Edit: Better naked now than on my first day.

Unless you got a job as a stripper!

Gruumash . wrote:

Hmmm, sheep eh. Well can't say I missed it then. Though I do enjoy some roasted lamb, with mint jelly.

Hey aeglos how are things across the pond and over the channel and through the woods in Germany?

The weather man said we would have a sunny day and over 80 degrees...I think they lied grey and overcast.

after a rany and cold week we are promised a warm and sunny weekend, GF and me will visit a local castle with my godson and his parents, really looking foreward to it

I'm up for storming a castle!

I'm hungry.

I want a game that is fun for everyone, has interesting plot twists, exciting battles, intriguing characters, and all-around good times.

If a rule gets in the way of that, it's gone.

We don't need no stinkin' rulez........

Jacks win. Every time.

Does Hungry Jack serve up any ethnic dishes, specially any Chinese or Japanese cuisine? Jedi Jack is tired of tacos and hamburgers.

At least he's not tired of nachos.

*pummels fake Jack*

Take off the stoopid Star Wars costume, you Jar Jar Binks lover!

When there's a poodle flying in the sky...

Emperor7 wrote:

taig wrote:

Emperor7 wrote:

taig wrote:

Hello FaWTL! I hope everyone here is doing well.

I woke up at 4 this morning, coughing and choking, and my throat hurt quite a bit. I discovered about 2 minutes later, once I gained some consciousness that I actually had a bout of acid reflux. It's not an experience I recommend.

Ouch! Sympathies.

Are you sure you aren't a were-badger and snuck out for a midnight snack?

I like sleep too much to be a were-badger. :)

Or, you think you are sleeping...

But it's not even a full moon!

*moons the badgah*

Baked Apple Oatmeal Pancake

Ingredients:
• Crisco® Original No-Stick Cooking Spray
• 2 large eggs
• 1/4 cup Hungry Jack® Original Syrup, plus additional for serving
• 3 tablespoons Crisco® Pure Canola Oil
• 1/2 cup quick rolled oats
• 1 (7 oz.) package Hungry Jack® Apple Cinnamon Wheat Pancake Mix
• 1 large apple, like Gala or Fuji, peeled and chopped, (1 1/2 cups)
• 1/4 cup raisins (optional)
• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
• 1 (6 oz.) container vanilla yogurt
• Ground cinnamon

Preparation Directions:
1. HEAT oven to 350°F. Coat 9-inch pie plate with no-stick cooking spray.
2. WHISK eggs, syrup and oil in large bowl. Stir in oats until evenly moistened. Stir in pancake mix. Fold in apples and raisins. Spread evenly in prepared pan. Sprinkle with walnuts.
3. BAKE 30 to 35 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Serve with additional syrup, yogurt and a sprinkle of cinnamon.

Yield: 8 servings
Prep Time: 20 min
Cook Time: 30 min

Why is it when I read step 2 I read WHISKEY? Hehe

Hungry Jack® breakfast products – because breakfast is the most important meal of the morning.

Especially after staying up all night drinking! PARTY!

Cultist of Jack wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:

Officer Threadjack wrote:

Un-Callous Jack, wrote:

General J. Debauchery wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Hungry Jack wrote:

Hungry Jack® agrees.

So do I.

Me too.

As do I.

Excuse me?

I'm here to defend this Jack's legal rights as a jack.

My Right Boot is ready to punt fake Jacks.

Somebody call Jack N. Ape.

Rather have a beer.

Beer is good. And good for us.

Time to crack a new keg!

Officer Threadjack wrote:

Un-Callous Jack, wrote:

General J. Debauchery wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Hungry Jack wrote:

Hungry Jack® agrees.

So do I.

Me too.

As do I.

Excuse me?

I'm here to defend this Jack's legal rights as a jack.

My Right Boot is ready to punt fake Jacks.

Hungry Jack® agrees.

So do I.

Queen was thinking of the Jacks when they wrote We Are The Champions

Jack Hammer wrote:

You got part of the name perfect. Now which Jack shall you be?

I don't know.

Hmmm. Do we have a Jack B. Nimble? Jack B. Quik? Jack beats his enemies over the head with a candlestick?

gran rey de los mono's random thoughts of the moment:

** spoiler omitted **

You got part of the name perfect. Now which Jack shall you be?

Is this where they're holding that "Star Truckie" convention? Look, I'm wearing a Starfleet red shirt.

Sure...

Wanna have a go at the flight simulator? Sit right in this basket while set the course...

*aims the Jackapult for the Poodle Thread*

Ready? Hold on tight. It's very realistic. If you encounter any strange species be sure to make an impressionable first contact.

*launches hippeh*

We should always ask ourselves, what would Vader do?

Jackapult them all and let the Force sort them out!

Hungry Jack wrote:

Smoked Pork Chops and Potatoes

Ingredients:
• 1 (4.9 oz.) package Hungry Jack® Sour Cream & Chives Potatoes
• 2 cups frozen cut green beans, thawed
• 2 cups water
• 2/3 cup milk
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 6 boneless extra ­lean smoked pork chops

Hot Damn! That's gonna be some good lickin'. I better break out the catnip after I'm done.

*takes a nip of his own*

Mmmmm...scotch....

Mmmm...pork chops...

Not at all. Hungry Jack® sent his good friend Aberzombie here to answer some questions while Hungry Jack® was busy, and Hungry Jack®'s fellow Jacks overreacted.

Make him work! Make him work!

Hey I heard there was a zombie attack going on. I brought my shock paddles to help them live again. Point me at him.

He was lurking in the kitchen last I saw. Maybe you can train him as a new bartender. Shock therapy can do wonders.

Jack Hammer wrote:

Callous Jack wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

Hungry Jack® is sure he has some somewhere.

Agh! Zombie Alert!

Break out the machetes!

*Catapults evil zombie into the Civil Religious "discussion"*

There, that'll take care of him...

Err, boss. There are no brains in that thread....

I think that's the point. :)

That would just give the zombie gas, with all that hot air floating around and empty brains. As long as he stays there we'd be fine.

The thought of farts worse than Frat's makes my metal skin get chilly.

Jack Hammer wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

Hungry Jack® is sure he has some somewhere.

Agh! Zombie Alert!

Break out the machetes!

*Catapults evil zombie into the Civil Religious "discussion"*

There, that'll take care of him...

Err, boss. There are no brains in that thread....

There's a zombie in the Jack Clubhouse!

I think he ate Hungry Jack®'s brain.

Hungry Jack® is sure he has some somewhere.

Agh! Zombie Alert!

Break out the machetes!

Jack Hammer wrote:

Gary Teter wrote:

What happens if I press this red button?

Nothing. Nothing at all. Go ahead and press it.

Makes sure the red button is connected to the electrodes and that a peasant is strapped in tight.

Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

HELP! HELP! IM BEING OPPRESSED!

Did you say 'pressed'? OK, I'll press the red button for Gary.

Presses red button

Where'd you find the peasant?

He was shining my Jack boots

What happens if I press this red button?

Nothing. Nothing at all. Go ahead and press it.

Makes sure the red button is connected to the electrodes and that a peasant is strapped in tight.

Jack Hammer wrote:

Farts are natural.

Nature is beautiful.

Therefore, farts are beautiful!

amen to that

*waves hand behind rear end*

PBR fart!

Farts are natural.

Nature is beautiful.

Therefore, farts are beautiful!

Callous Jack wrote:

Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:

Hungry Jack wrote:

Jack B. Kwikk, Esq. wrote:

Hungry Jack wrote:

Hungry Jack®! YUM!

You better have your trademarks in order. I'm a lawyer you know.

Hungry Jack® also knows a very good recipe for Lawyer Pot Pie.

Better have real lawyers in it. I'm a food critic too.

Wow, evil AND useless.

It's a sad truth. Lawyers eat there own kind.

Lawyers give me gas. All that hot air.

And you don't want me to get gassy. Trust me.

I wonder if I could get a couple of Jacks to play in the shark exhibit at the Shedd Aquarium next year.....?

Fishing trip?! Cool.

We better start stocking up on peasants and poodles for bait.

lynora-Jill wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

lynora-Jill wrote:

*pours a glass of beer and hands it to Jack Hammer*

Here you go! I'm not sure what happened to the bartender. I think he went on break?

Thanks LJ.

Guess that bartender spent one too many breaks listening to that peasant gives speeches.

You're right. That would make anyone decide to take some time off to go on a peasant beating spree. ;)

"Hey now. I just needed to clear my head and get some air, that's all. No need to get impatient here," Devlyn replies with a chuckle from right behind them, wiping something off of his hands with a bar towel.

"Long time no see." ;D

"I think someone slipped me something in that last case of beer. I slept for a year."

*pours a glass of beer and hands it to Jack Hammer*

Here you go! I'm not sure what happened to the bartender. I think he went on break?

Thanks LJ.

Guess that bartender spent one too many breaks listening to that peasant gives speeches.

Party food is always good food!

Break out the beer and the munchies!

For the lurking puffin: I got the green glow under my car.

There's a cream for that.

Hungry Jack wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

I like just stomping on 'em. They pop like bubble wrap.

Hungry Jack® will have to find something to do with all that goo.

Jack Lalanne Power Juicer? It keeps most of the pulp, so you get your RDA of fiber. {goes back to backing in 18-wheeler tanker of beer}

About time our daily delivery of beer showed up! Woot!

I like just stomping on 'em. They pop like bubble wrap.

Put 'em in the blender and make Smuurthies!

It's great for cleaning the gutters.

Call the Exterminator! Get out the Raid! We have pests!

Callous Jack wrote:

We got a mention by Gary in the thread complaining about thread length. Woo!

Gary Teter wrote:

The Angry Jack Cult: 323,438 words (September 2008)

W00t! Thou ain't lound enough, gotta fat this up!

Where is this "complain" posted?

Gary should send us beer for giving him reason to sharpen his skilz.