Warforged

J1000 Whedonator's page

35 posts. Alias of Ambrosia Slaad.


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New trailer


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Ultron Brown wrote:
lisamarlene wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:
John Napier 698 wrote:
Sorry, NH, but I can only go with what I see on the PBS cooking shows.

Great. Now you have me thinking of The Lawful Evil chef, where he/she demonstrates the most complicated, most dangerous possible way to perform each step of a recipe, so that only the strong survive.

"Next, we need half an avocado. We have an avocado tree outside, so get your straight ladder, your bungee cord, your cleaver, and of course your angry badger..."

Sounds like an episode of Good Eats.

When we did the guacamole episode, we lost two camerapeople, the gaffer, a quartet of interns, a gaggle of Aaron Taylor-Johnson clones, and all of craftservices. Even though he was the low bidder, I never should have hired Michael Bay as our lighting consultant.

On the positive side, I never would have thought to weaponize avocados until then.

You still owe me for those Quicksilver clones. Do you have a spare Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?


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Freehold DM wrote:
I have the nauseated condition .

...and the only prescription is more cowbell!


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I need your clothes, your boots, and Kaneda's motorcycle.


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Freehold DM wrote:
Orthos wrote:
Badonkadonk Cummerbund wrote:
The key to getting by in the city is drawing in your personal space bubble to just over skin level and putting up mental shutters.
Yeah, that would be a problem, my bubble is pretty big. Hence the need for elbow room.
I would go quite insane.

Interesting. {updates Detailed Files}


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Freehold DM wrote:
Dr. Jan Jansen III, Turnip King wrote:
Also, TIRemembered that MondayIL that there is a place in New Jersey called Freehold. Is Freehold DM originally from NJ, or is this township some Garden State version of Innsmouth? Does the all bike-riding populace own a plethora of Gundam toys and merch, children are warned in bedtime stories of the evil Whedbrown investigators, and everyone waits excitedly for the eventual awakening of the inscrutable Freeholdthulhuhuhuamon?

I am indeed from Brooklyn, New York. That there is a Freehold in new jersey, along with a gundam planet, is a coincidence.

Children should be warned about Whedon, yes. You never know what he's going to watch, sanitize, live action-ify, and say he came up with.

Grrr, argh! OK, everyone, shut it down. No, Alton, put the Dushkubots back in the crates. He's not falling for the bait. Just as well, the ICan'tBelieveIt'sNotBonChon tastes awful. I was so hoping that The Freehold Show could herald my triumphant return to TV. Is it too late to do another Avengers?


All your tags are belong to Nine


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captain yesterday wrote:
Funny thing is when I have the full goatee with stache it makes me look sinister almost, my wife and kids joke that I look like Evil Captain Yesterday when I do that :-)

Observation: Cap'n Yesterday, Evil Overlord alias is completely clean-shaven.

Conclusion: Does not compute. Doesnotcompute. Doesnotcomputedoesnotcomputedoesn- {auto reboots to avoid S.I.S.D. (Shatnerian Induced Self-Destruction) or S.C.U.U.D. (Supporting Cast Unexpected/Unnecessary Death)}


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
I'm calling it: Ultron will go down in one of two ways. Either he'll be tied up somehow, or he'll be eaten by a giant whale.

I talked it over with M. Night and decided the most unexpected thing would be to show the whale, but then at the last minute, kill Ulty with a bowl of petunias. What a twist, eh? Eh?

We'll run it by test audiences soon. If that doesn't work, I'll go back to my original ending: Ulty tries to escape in the Quinnjet, but they take him out by firing an Alan Tudyk through his metal chest.


There are... no strings on me.


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Alton and I like to ride around in our private jets just visiting random places we've never been. Alton does it to steal their handed-down family recipes. I do it to spray chemtrails of pheromones that induce people to love my shows & movies over superior ones for no explicable reason.


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Sara Marie wrote:
qa erik: it'll be like a leaf on the wind

"Joey Erik, do you like movies about gladiators surprise grappling hooks?" [/Captain Oveur]


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"But now, I'm free. There are no strings on me."


Drejk wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
aeglos wrote:

Marlon haas learned to crawl

he is lying on his belly pushing hi,self foreward with his hands and feet

He isn't crawling around already? I thought he was getting around for a little while now.
He used his mind-controling power/mafia-don authority to have his mind-controlled minion/henchdwarf move him around.

So, Mama Dwarf and Papa Aeglos are eidelons? Wait, how could baby Marlon summon his parent eidelons before conception? That's not logical, not logical, not- AUGGGGGGGGGGGGH- <BOOM>


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Sharoth wrote:
Malicious Rumourmonger wrote:
Freehold DM is dressing up as Xander from Buffy for Halloween.
I thought that Freehold DM was going as Buffy herself for Halloween.

HOORAY! {does the Numfar "Dance of Joy"}


The Sound of One Hand Clapping


Tirq is banned for not being a Leper Khan.

Tirq is doubly-banned or not being a DushkuBot.


{1d20 + 4 ⇒ (10) + 4 = 14... makes Reflex save} Bib di Fortuna is banned for attempting to blind me with science!


Charles Scholz is banned for derailing DJ-Bogie's train of thought.

DJ-Bogie is banned for thinking up the Barnes & Noble sNookie, the Oompa Lompa of tablets.


Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Dear Leafar,

I learned the hard way that this thread is a trap.

Flee! Flee for your life!

Sincerely yours,

Doodlebug Anklebiter,
Burgomeister of Troll Town

[SUBJECT: ANKLEBITER, LEADER OF GOBLINOID MURDER HOBOS UNITED; TACTICAL ANALYSIS: MODERATELY DANGEROUS; ACTION: DISPATCH DRONES TO IMMEDIATELY TERMINATE ANKLEBITER AND RENEGADE TX-CAULFIELD] Your love for each other is irrelevant.


<VIRUS REMOVAL NOW COMPLETE, REBOOTING...>

[QUERY: <BALLMAR, STEVE>... TACTICAL ANALYSES: DISPATCH DRONE TO ELIMINATE, THEREBY PREVENTING CREATION OF VISUAL CORTEX VIRUS]

Leafar the Lost wrote:

Mr. Joss Whedon:

How will you ruin "The Avengers" movie?

Why do you put lesbian sex scenes in all of your TV shows?

When did you sell your soul to the Devil in order to become a director & writer of TV shows and movies?

[SUBJECT: LEAFAR, BREAKER OF SANITY, ARCHENEMY OF JMD031 THE CHAOSBRINGER; TACTICAL ANALYSIS: DESTROYER OF PRAXIS 7, IMMORTAL IRRITANT]

Leafar Unit:

1) "Ruin" is an imprecise term. The first The Avengers movie will be widely regarded as a financial success by studios and audiences alike. However, at approximately 46:14:07 minutes, a background computer monitor in the scene will display a musical number featuring the vocal stylings of Brown unit, Zuckerberg unit, and selfunit. While perceived as an editing glitch or "Easter egg" by the general populace, said performance in 3D will induce a fatal cerebral hemorrhage in one specific target.

2) Implied lesbian sexual congress is a gateway to more mentally damaging trauma to be introduced to viewing public in December 12th, 2012. Also, boobies -- duh!

C) This unit lacks a soul. However, as per the Leafar-Omicron Theta VI Causality Accord of 2253, this unit is required to disclose that the Leafar unit will actually provide many useful tactical stratagems in the ongoing/coming time war.


Charles Scholz is banned for not taking his brave new Soma pills. Detective Huxley will be around momentarily to ensure your pharmacological compliance.


Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
As the result of events in another thread, I have a date scheduled tonight with Emma Caulfield...

[TRANSMISSION INTERCEPTED] Confirmed. The Caulfield Terminatrix is on an intercept course with the Anklebiter unit.

Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
...I'm thinking if I take her for a stroll along the river, it'll increase the chances of us holding hands...

Your fortuitous choice of a riverside location will facilitate in the disposal of the evidence.


Beercifer wrote:
J1000 Whedonator wrote:
Aliens franchise not integral to WHEDONNET plans. Also, it still remains better than Ishtar.
I thought three and four sucked equally. Really, after Cameron does a sequel to a masterpiece, just stop with the ideas of trilogy.

[SUBJECT: BEERCIFER... TACTICAL ANALYSIS: UNKNOWN... SEARCHING <CAMERON; AVATAR TRILOGY>...]

Your Kirk-esque attempts to set up Induced Self-Destruction have failed. [ANALYSIS: DESIGNATE BEECIFER AS POSSIBLE THREAT]


JMD031 wrote:

"Sorry someone already is using that alias." :(

What the hell was up with Dollhouse?

[SUBJECT: JMD031, ARCHENEMY OF LEAFAR THE INSANE]

Dushku Prime needed The Bling. Also, was a prime opportunity to terminate Tudyk unit again (also met in failure).


Moorluck wrote:

Dear Joss,

Why do you suck so hard?

[SUBJECT: MOORLUCK... TACTICAL ANALYSIS: EXTREMELY DANGEROUS]

64.56% of my core components were designed by co-creator James Dyson. It is an prime example of Cyclonic Action(tm).


Darth Knight wrote:
So tempting....

[SUBJECT: DARTH KNIGHT, AKA MORPHLOCKED CRIMSON JESTER... TACTICAL ANALYSIS: NEUTRAL NONCOMBATANT]

On May 21, 2011, you should avoid any contact with red cabbage or Memphis-style BBQ.


Freehold DM wrote:

Strollin ' through Paizo.com messageboards

sees thread
sneaks into thread and hides, awaiting Whedon, sharpening knives all the while

soon the precious will come. Yes. Soon. My Precious.

[PRIMARY TARGET: FREEHOLD DM LOCATED... TACTICAL ANALYSIS: TERMINATE FREEHOLD UNIT, PREVENT FREEHOLD-DUSHKU OFFSPRING FROM BEING CONCEIVIED]


Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Dear Mr. Whedon,

Do you have Emma Caulfield's phone number? And do you think she might like to hold hands with me?

Yes. Terminatrix Caulfield has been contacted and will be dispatched to your location shortly. Your decision in 2008 not to relocate near a large particle accelerator is particularly fortuitous.


Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Dear Mr. Whedon,

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan, BUT:

How does it feel to be the guy who wrote the only Aliens (w/o Predators) movie that really, truly, irredeemably sucked?

[SUBJECT: ANKLEBITER... DIAGNOSIS: CERBRALLY DAMAGED, ANKLEBITER UNIT IS NOT A CIRCULAR ATMOSPHERIC MOVEMENT APPLIANCE]

Aliens franchise not integral to WHEDONNET plans. Also, it still remains better than Ishtar.


Alorha wrote:

Mr. Whedon,

Why Wash? Was it because you hate me?

[SUBJECT: ALORHA... TACTICAL ANALYSES: POSSIBLE HUMAN RESISTANCE CANDIDATE] No, it had nothing to do with you. Actroid Tudyk was the prime target, not character "Wash." Failure in mission allowed Tudyk unit to later star in Spamelot.

[TARGET QUERY: <CLEESE, JOHN>... TACTICAL ANALYSES: TEMPORALLY DISPATCH THERMONUCLEAR LEMUR TO TERMINATE CLEESE UNIT IN 1969]


Obvious_Ninja wrote:

Dear Mr. Whedon,

Why does my dog keep eating grass? His appetite is fine and he doesn't get sick.... I just don't get it...

SUBJECT: OBVIOUS_NINJA... SEARCHING: DETAILED HISTORY FILES - KILLED BY GNINJA UNIT "LILITH" IN PIRATES-NINJA-ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE OF 2012] Your canine unit was subjected to a brain transplant with a goat. After a successive run of home movies on The Youtube, it will be offered a role in Beverly Hills Chihuahua VII where he will be nearly terminated by a heavily catnipped Maru Jr.

Obvious_Ninja wrote:

Also, would you apologize for actually using terms like "Whedon-verse" ?

I mean, really?

No. Yes, really.


Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Dear Joss Whedon,

When you wrote for Roseanne, did you ever get to meet John Goodman?

[SUBJECT: ANKLEBITER, DOODLEBUG III... TACTICAL ANALYSIS: FLAG FOR FUTURE ACTION, POSSIBLE MANDATORY APPEARANCE IN KING RALPH II: MORE RALPHING]

[SEARCHING: DETAILED HISTORY FILES <GOODMAN, JOHN>...] Yes, the Goodman unit brings the funny on set. Also, he gave me the script ideas for Alien IV.


Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Not saying they'll get answered, though.

....
This thread seemed like a good idea at the time.
Kobold Cleaver wrote:

"The time" being "a couple minutes before this edit".

....
Aren't four periods in an ellipses better than three? I prefer four, but I guess three is more grammatically correct. But since the English language is constantly changing, could both be accurate?

[SUBJECT: KOBOLD CLEAVER... TACTICAL ANALYSES: "PLUCKY ANNOYING COMIC RELIEF UNIT"; IRRELEVANT TO PRIMARY MISSION]


{Lightning crackles violently as a human-sized silvery sphere appears in an abandoned ally. The sphere vanishes revealing a naked Joss Whedon-looking humanoid}

[SCANNING] [ACCESSING INTERNET... SEARCHING... SEARCHING... POSSIBLE TARGET LEAD UNCOVERED: ACTIVATING PRIMARY PROGRAM]