“Greetings, Master. I’ll beg yer pardon while I attend to this other guest, who’s only arrived a moment afore ya.” The busy innkeeper bustled around the common area, directing his sturdy wife, and helping the latest arrival with his bags before swinging back around the counter, wiping his hands on a relatively clean apron. “Good morning, sir. My name is-”
“Burbee Grumbroo,” the new arrival interrupted. “Yes, yes. We’ve met before.”
“Have we?” the confused innkeeper countered. “I take pride in remembering all my customers.”
“We met yesterday. Or, wait… maybe tomorrow we will have met yesterday. You know how it is. It’s always so difficult to remember what hasn’t happened yet, and even harder to forget what’s already been done. Nevertheless, at some point we will have already met, and that already having been going to be done, it’s best we don’t waste any time on the doing of it.” Master Grumbroo looked for a moment like he would attempt to respond to this proclamation, but thought better of it.
“Now, as I recall, I remember being remarkably comfortable in the apartment in the southwest corner. Is that suite still available?”
“It is, if you please. I can have the boy bring your bags, sir. Do you recall the way there?”
“Of course not, you simpleton. I’ve never stayed here before. Is this the ledger?” the man scooped up the large book and scribbled a name that read suspiciously like ‘Oftwrong’. “Yes, there is my name, as you see, right where I put it before. So this is where it begins.”
“Where what begins?” the poor innkeeper looked lost.
“Everything that follows, of course… just as it always has.” the strange man, named Oftwrong, took on a wistful expression, though his eyes darted around as if he were watching a fast-paced sporting event, rather than daydreaming. “Best to get started, I suppose. Are my bags packed? Ah, yes. Very well. Will you tally my accounts, please? I’m rather in a hurry.”
“Tally your accounts?” the innkeeper cried. “But, you’ve not stayed one night, nor eaten a bite of food!” poor Burbee Grumbroo looked positively distraught by this strange, mercurial guest. “What am I to tally?”
“Not one night?!” the strange man thundered. “No. No. That’s still days away, of course. Excellent! I remember enjoying your hospitality very much. I was always looking forward to having done this. What time is supper?”