Berserker Cannibal

Holgur's page

662 posts. Alias of Bill Lumberg.




The DM for our Eberron game went AWOL and we players would still like to continue the game.

The game was a combination of module and homebrew, but I don't know what module that the DM used. The overall plot was that House Cannith hired the PCs to retrieve a schema from an old forge. We succeeded but did not discover the purpose of the schema. Agents of the Lord of Blades had opposed us, we crashed an airship and debated the morality of executing prisoners. All in day's work.

The game thread is here if anyone is interested.

The characters are all level 3 right now. They are:

- tiefling kensai magus
- skinwalker lunar oracle
- human vivisectionist alchemist
- warforged armor-master fighter
- human psion

Your generosity would gain you the undying admiration of total strangers who you are unlikely to ever meet in real life. But you will have fun, we promise.

Any questions, please ask


Everthing is fine.


Recently I learned that many people I know cannot swim. This struck me as odd because I just took it for granted that everybody learns to swim. Obviously not.

If you can swim, did you learn as a child or as an adult?

If you cannot, please give a very brief explanation of why not such as: fear of water, no access to pool or ocean etc.


All bad things must come to an end, and this did. It was a great five years. Even though the quality of the episodes diminished somewhat from the early years whey they cooked out an RV, I will miss this show.

So hoist a pipe of Blue Sky crystal methamphetamine in honor of Walt!

Ask for Blue Sky crystal methamphetamine, accept no substitutes, available where ever hope less pipe-heads congregate.


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Many of the posters here live outside the US. Surely, most of you know about our little national treasure, Florida. Some of you are probably familiar with the game "Florida or Germany?". And others have likely read this thread. And there is also a fellow here named "Spanky". He is from Florida. No more needs to be said.

I am curious to know how other lands handle their folk who "just ain't right". Does your country concentrate them in one area, as we have done here? Are they spread all about, evenly?

Please enlighten the rest of the world about your own nation's approach to the "Differently Sane".


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My wife and I will probably be going to Bozeman Montana June 23rd to the 27th. This is opportunity came up suddenly (Today) and I have not had a chance to see what there is to do there. We will only be able to travel around after 5pm and we will be in the area of Montana State University. I have seen that a few people around here mentioned being from and/or having been to Montana so I want to ask what are some things to see and do in the area of Bozeman?

We will get into Yellowstone for one day. Any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated.


The spell Levitate affects 100 pounds per caster level. Can it be used to "leighten the load" of a heavier object in order for others to lift it or does it simply fail if used on an object over its weight limit? I can see an argument that to allow it to be used this way is giving casters a lower-level aternatative to the spell Telekinesis, even if only for a limted application.


How long does it take to mount a steed that has a saddle? It is a standard action, move action or a full-round action?


From England

From Japan


Thank you to all who have served in the armed forces and sacrificed on behalf of others.


Athas.org has been offline for the last several days. Does anyone know if it is going to continue to exist? There was nothing about it at the Piazza Dark Sun forum.


Link

"The Human Highlight Reel" is gone. All I can think of is his fight with Wilson Rodriguez. If there are other boxing fans here they will understand.

RIP, Arturo.


[The scene opens into a bank interior. Patrons are cowering on the floor as armed men order them to be silent. Police sirens are heard in the background and red and blue flashing lights are visible through the bank windows. ]

GANG LEADER SPEAKING INTO CELLPHONE: “Back up! I want all the cops back away from the bank or I stop popping hostages in the head!”

POLICE CHIEF’S VOICE OVER CELLPHONE: “You know we can’t do that. We’re sending in someone to talk to you. She’s not armed.”

GANG LEADER: “No! No one comes in!”

CHIEF: “She’s at the door already.”

[OCTOMOM ENTERS, LOOKING BATSHIAT CRAZY, AS USUAL]

OCTOMOM: “Sir, my name is Nadya Denise Doud-Suleman Gutierrez and I’m here to help.”

GANG LEADER: “Wait a minute. Aren’t you that crazy lady who has 14 kids?”

OCTOMOM: “That’s right. In order to support them I took this job as a hostage negotiator for the LAPD.”

GANG LEADER: “What? That makes no sense. You have worse judgment than I do! Oh, my head!”

[GANGLEADER SUFFERS AN ANEURYSM AND FALLS TO THE GROUND, DEAD. THE OTHER GANG MEMBERS FOLLOW SUIT.]

[POLICE STORM THE BANK]

CHIEF: “Good work, Octomom! It looks like all the hostages are safe!”

SECOND POLICE OFFICER: “Not so fast, Chief. Some of the hostages overhead her and they also suffered aneurysms.”

CHIEF: “Damn it! I can’t believe this!”

OCTOMOM: “Chief,I would like to be paid in donated sperm.”
CHIEF: “WHAT?!”

OCTOMOM: “I want to have more children. Why should I waste my remaining fertile years?”

CHIEF: “ARGH!”

THE CHIEF GRABS HIS HEAD AND SLUMPS TO THE GROUND. HE HAS ALSO SUFFERED AND ANEURYSM AND DIED.

OCOTOMOM THEN TURNS TO THE CAMERA AND GIVES HER NORMAL DERANGED LOOK.

THE SCENE GOES BLACK.

THE END.


And so it begins

Link


What is a good free virus protection software for windows? I know that using windows marks me as a techno-idiot but there it is. Every once in a while I see a warning about spyware. Whenever I search for free software there always seems to be a catch like accepting a promotion for something completely unrelated to computers, like a Blockbuster promotion.

A friend suggested switchin to Linux but a programmer I know said that some features won't work with it. Does anyone have any experience using Linux?


I would like to partake of the knowledge fellow Paizonians have. A few days ago I was in my car, waiting for a red light, when a question popped into my head. It has been bothering me for the past week. I hope someone here can answer it for me.

Can a pig swim?

I have been to farms a few times and have seen pigs before but I have never seen one in water. I don't work with pigs, eat pork or have any real need to know the answer to this question. It just keeps coming back into my head. If someone could let me know I would be very grateful.

Thanks


The musician rubbed oil along his flute and rubbed it with a dirty rag before putting it to his lips. He played a scale of notes while his children looked up from where they sat about in a semi-circle around him. Two other men sat down beside him. One carried a larger flute with a brass piece on the end and the other man had a long-necked instrument with six thick strings stretched out between two ridged pieces of white material that looked like bone. He set its end on the ground in a way that suggested that it was too awkward to play except when the performer sat behind it.

I looked at the three musician and the women and children that congregated about them and tried to count them but was frustrated because they often walked into a nearby tent while others exited it. They were Varisians and played music at the Swallowtail Festival for coins while family members sold sweet baked goods from a table next to the tent. When the adults played the children would often slip their little fingers into the purses of the audience. Casually, I tightened my cloak about myself and shifted my pouch-belt to reassure myself that nothing had been stolen from me. The Varisians numbered about fifteen. "That would be enough for them to distract anyone and make off with his his gold", I thought and decided to move on.

The Festival had already begun in earnest and the city of Sandpoint was filled with music, the scent of cooked meat and the heat of the risen sun. Noon had come but the air was thick despite the early autumn breeze. At the corner religious pilgrims testified to their faith in Densa, goddess of travelers. I wondered why they had chosen a spot that blocked passage in order to do so. But the festival was in Desna's honor and Inikai had no desire for ill will from any god so I said nothing and wove through the midst of the worshipers. Around the corner was the town center where butterflies would be released after Abstalar Zantus; Sandpoint's head-priest harangued the crowd.

After only a short walk my right foot started to ache so I leaned up against the wall of a building in order to adjust my boot. The traffic on the muddy street was heavy and slow moving so I intended to wait for a lull in the flow of passersby before he would reach down and take it off. I did not want to bend over and expose my back to nimble thieves. While I waited my mind drifted to the small hours before the dawn and felt anxiety touch my chest. "Did I eliminate all signs of the circle? Did anyone see me before I left the woods?" It was doubtful that anyone would recognize the significance of the marks he made on the rocks even if I had been observed before I removed them. Doubt was not enough to put me completely at ease. There were too many instances where an accusation had damned a man for no more than a poor choice of words. In my memory I re-read dozens of pages detailing the condemnations and deaths of men labeled as "soul-whores", "body-slaves" and the like. To get my mind off this I considered the festival itself; those who traveled the Lost Coast Road for the festival would be intent on getting into Sandpoint before the heat of midday. They would not be loitering in the woods close to the city.

Of course, those with something to hide from customs taxes often secreted things in the woods. Obviously such people would need a landmark in order to find their concealed wares again and the rocks that Inikai had visited served that purpose superbly. Such people frequently would have a companion follow at a day's distance to retrieve the hidden goods, which could then be sneaked into the city after arrangements had been made. The Swallowtail Festival was a perfect opportunity for this type of smuggling. And the Varisians that Inikai had watched earlier were the sort of people who traded this way.


http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/08/03/AR200808030 1249.html?hpid=artslot

He would have been 90 in November.

I re-read the first book of the Gulag Archipelago in May. I cannot recommend it enough. The same is true of Cancer Ward and First Circle and A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich.

Sadly, I can no longer remember the name of my Russian literature professor who introduced me to Solzhenitsyn.


Is anyone going to watch the UFC fights tonight? Unfortunately I will not be so lucky.

I am favoring Jackson to defeat Liddel again. He is 9 or 10 years younger, better in the clinch and has a strength advantage and a granite jaw. Also, the winner of the first fight usually wins the rematch.

Jackson has suffered three bad beatings in losses since the first fight with Liddel, though. Liddel is on a winning streak and also said that he was nursing a leg injury in the first fight. Jackson said that he would like to have had one or two more fights to prepare before the rematch. These things keep me from putting anything down on the fight.
(that and being broke...)

Anyone else willing to weight in on this?


What adventure did you dream up but never get to run players through?

I thought of one based on Mystery Science Theater 3,000. The players would have to go through terrible events from terrible movies. Joel and the 'Bots would be watching them and I would make comments just as they would. Ideally, the players would figure out that my remarks were being made in the character of someone other than the DM. Then they should figure out that they were being watched. (Detect for scrying)

The goal of the adventure would be to invade Deep 13, face the mad scientists and interrupt their plan to kill Mike. If they succeeded Mike would be rescued and Joel would stay on the Satelite of Love and the series would continue on the way I liked it.

If they failed then Mike would replace Joel as he did in the series. Then it would lead to Pearl, Bobo, the Brain Guy and all the things that changed at the end of the series.

"We have movie sign!"


I am sure that a changeling knocked unconscious or killed would revert to its true form. What if he or she were subjected to torture by someone who suspects the changeling's true nature? Would a will or fort save against x damage inflicted be fair?

How would you handle similar situations? Would you just let the changeling keep up the disguise no matter what, in order to keep thing simple?


Has anyone ever played in a campaign where the PCs had to get real jobs? I can imagine this in an adventure that requires the PCs to stay in one place for an extended period and support themselves or to gather information. This could also be useful in a situation where only one or two players can make a game. The players could find use their jobs to track the movements of NPCs, gather information or work off debts incurred for services like healing or other spellcasting. It would also seem to lend itself to more modern campaigs.


What fictional characters have you thrown at players or encountered as a player?

I have tried to use Jay and Silent Bob, Randal and Dante from the movie "Clerks", almost the entire casts of "Road Warrior", "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels", "Snatch" and some characters and situations from "Mystery Science Theater 3000" spoofs.

I have had less luck with literary characters.