The Iron Kingdoms is definitely wargame-y. That will either be a bug or a feature, but you can't get away from that pink elephant in the room. If crunchy tactical combat isn't a turnoff it's pretty fun as far as those types of games go. Personally, I tend to enjoy more handwavey theater of the mind games as a rule. But...I do get an itch for measuring tape and facing rules from time to time. It is a dark secret desire that I try to keep locked away. *Aherghm* BOOO minis!. Also, if you find yourself running IK online (as I do) it is easy, since you can just use Vassal with the Warmachine module to run online combats. The rest can take place in Skype or G+ or whatever means of communications you might use to squawk at your friends. On the downside, the oft mentioned flaw holds true, there are no real endeavors on behalf of the designers to inject social dynamics and associated resolution systems into Iron Kingdoms. Still, I've had no trouble just winging it and looking at stats and skills a bit differently (my brother refers to it as "using your arse to sway the crowd"). At least there aren't dump stats :-) that everyone inflicts upon social skills in other games anyway. Imo, the setting is good, and they've managed to distinguish it by merging other types of settings and filing off a few edges here and there and packaging it up nicely as their own thing. To me, it seems kind of like the illigitimate love child of Eberron, and Warhammer Fantasy with some illustrative styling that is a bit more comic-booky and WoW-y than either. If you are looking at a wildly different experience than the high fantasy of Pathfinder it might not be different enough. But, gobbers and trollbloods seem to have wormed their way into my black heart ... despite all my attempts to deride them as orcs and goblins with silly names.
Song of Ice and Fire accomplishes its intent of creating a roleplaying experience in Westeros. It is much less over the top, and far less kitchen sink than other settings due to it being an emulated IP. The rules are goodish (I have no real complaints). I haven't been able to get a SoIaF game off the ground (neither Green Ronin's or the d20 version) but that lands on me. It's an IP that I dearly love, and I think it gets all up in my way as a result.
Shadows of Esteren...I really can't add anything beyond what the kickstarter video could give you. It's one of those games that I thought looked pretty cool, but I have so many little-used books on my shelves these days I had to cut back by the time this little ditty came 'round.