Hazgarr the Dwarven Pirate's page

It still only counts as one!

...uh...harrr?

For the clans and for Thunderholme! Axes high! Strike the Earth! Khazukan-Kazakit-Ha!

It's a travesty, it is.

I blame the gnomes.

HARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

And gods, the textbook industry.

Impus Major's 5 other books for his English and History courses? Under $30 each. A 2-year subscription to all math texts? $80. An online art history book? $50.

And the *one* hardcover textbook that one of his courses required? $180. Or "only" $150 used.

Because education is for the wealthy.

Grr....

Harrrrr, I might know a solution for you, lad....

"Evading the imminent revenge of the dreaded Blood Nest Pirates, the inhabitants of the Paizo message boards scatter to all corners of the Galaxy. The fearless crew of the freighter Bad Luck Woman, captained by Captain Yesterday, searches for the Ongiron, a Legendary weapon of great power, that can end the scourge of the Blood Nest Pirates once and for all."

HARRRRRRRRR!!!!

Freehold DM wrote:

Tequila Sunrise wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

Drejk wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

I hate Magic: The Gathering so much!!

i hate magic, but it is low on the scrolls of hateration. I hate that so many aspects of card games have made their way into tabletop gaming.

Which ones?

optimisation, factionalism, trap options, and the death of conversation about anything other than the rules.

By factionalization, you mean edition wars and Legacy v. Vintage v. Modern, etc. arguments?

I'm with you on a lot of this stuff, but I agree with Tac -- it's all been there from the start to the best of my understanding, and I don't see how tabletop gaming could have avoided any of it regardless of other hobbies. Play a game with others, and some of them will push that game to the limit. Have someone invent a new game, have a succession of people write options for that game for decades without some sort of systematic approach for writing those options, and some of them will be traps. Give that game’s huge fanbase an internet, and they’ll talk shop until the cows come home. And of course fans of different versions will argue about which is better.

At least we have 4e now, which largely avoids issues involving optimization and trap options. :)

no, not edition wars, I mean factionalism. Like people being stupid because someone likes the wrong clan or something.

Elves vs dwarves. That started before CCG. Such kind of antagonistic tribalism is a typical human behavior, regretfully...

And it ain't even a HARD question, neither.

Spam spam spam spam, spam spam spam spam....

A drink for all, in the name of a great dwarf and a great man.

*raises grog in approving salute*

It is time to eat pizza and play dwarves (in NWN) and I'm all out of pizza!

Freehold DM wrote:

LordSynos wrote:

Thanks for the well wishes all. Despite many tests (oh so many, all my blood is gone :P ), they're still not sure. It could be a clot, torn musculature, a particular infection of the lung walls, etc, etc. They're treating me for the worst though, the clot, on the basis that if its something less than that, they won't have done any harm. Breathing much easier than earlier, so a step in the right direction anyhow. :)

thank god. Can't afford to lose you.

Oh, c'mon. We could sell him for parts.

Quiet, folks ain't s'pose'ta what know about that!

Shifty wrote:

And she sails into the sunset until next year!

Aye, ye salty sea dog. I be wishin' every day be talk like a pirate day. Arr.

When yer piratin' fer a livin' every day IS Talk Like a Pirate day! HARRRR!!

HARRRRRR!!!

Pirate Rob wrote:

I just figured I'd post and contribute to the problem.

Yar!

HARRRRR!

Canonchucks?! PFS... CANONCHUCKS?! PFS?! CANNONCHUCKS?!

I... I... I have to go stat something now... >.>

.... Go on....

So I solved my broken computer chair problem by nicking a chair the local school was throwing out, it is really uncomfortable but the teacher said I could have it so it is better than nothing!

In worse news I have gone blind in my left eye and the doctor today said it may be permanent, gosh darn it I like to see!

Oh well, depth perception is for the weak!

Time to seek out my dream job now of being a pirate!

*puts on eye patch*

Arrrgh me mateys!

HARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Avast you scurvy dogs! Today be my fav'rit day!

HARRRRRRRRRR!!! Hoist the sails and roll out the ales, lads and lasses!

*skips through the forest*

Aww now look, ya got 'im started again!

What're ye lookin' at, landlubber?

"MISTER SMEE!! Clear out this riff raff! I need space to do my morning stretches and limber up before I work out my latest plan for skewering that pesky Pan! Any swab caught lollygagging, I'll hook him myself and toss him overboard - to Hell with the plank!"

HARRRRRRRR!!!!

I and a group of dwarves are exploring somewhere, and we end up meeting a venomous armored construct. We happen to have very cramped quarters, as we're at the edge of a "bottomless" pit at the time. Everyone starts trying to figure out how to position themselves to attack with their weapons.

I proceed to grab the thing, pick it up, and toss it into the pit. It bit me, and we had this exchange:

"The thing bit you! Is the poison a problem?"

"Bah, my cousin's ale is stronger than this stuff."

*raises flagon, approving nod*

A cannonball explodes out of krevon's gut.

"You were sayin', sonny?"

All cannons to starboard. We're puttin' an end to this politickin'. Fire all guns!

Umbral Reaver wrote:

Dwarves reproduce via spores.

Close.

... Th' hell?

*hat over beard, hand over heart*

Orthos wrote:

Horizon Walking should be picking up in a few days =D Now that I'm done with overtime, being sick, and freelancing for the moment. Think it's time to article up on Dwarves, if I recall correctly.

How are you going to manage on such short notice?

Yer kneecaps is mine, missy.

HARRRRRRRRRRRR

Them's fightin' words.

HARRRRRRRRR!!!

Chris Shaeffer wrote:

Neil Spicer wrote:

Chris Shaeffer wrote:

It would be cool to be the first person to ever get in three years in a row. (My nerd cred would skyrocket!)

I'm afraid Tom Phillips already holds that distinction (i.e., 2010-2012). Since he made Top 4 in his last run, however, his streak came to an end. He's gone on to work on a number of things for Paizo, and he's contributed to some products for Legendary Games, as well.

Oh! I knew he'd done three, but I thought there was a gap in there somewhere. I'll have to get this year AND next, in that case. ;)

EDIT: In any case, I would consider it a great honor to even be considered in the same league as Tom. I don't think I'm quite there yet.

[creepy old pirate voice] So, ye be wantin' Old Tom's crown, eh? Well, ye won't be a-grabbin' it off his dusty old skull so easily! Mu-hah-ha-ha-ha. [/creepy old pirate voice]

Challenge accepted! HARRRRRRRR!!

I love that scene.

'at's right. We done killed 'em all off.

EDIT 2: Who let that dwarf in?

Ye ain't havin' a door nor wall that'll keep me out, landlubber.

I dinnae care about the politics o' it. I jus' wants a opportunity t' blame elves fer more.

*spits* Shoulda 'spected it. Bloody elves.

ONLY FOR THE WEAK

HARRRRRRRRR!!!

It's weird the way my mind works sometimes. Was getting a shower this morning and noticed the way the water drained out of the stall. Immediately, an idea popped into my head for a dungeon feature, which snowballed into an idea for a new adventure called The Tomb of the Dwarves.

Tell meh more.

Save the beer!

LIES

HARRRRRR!!!

HARRRRRRRRRR!!!

Do you like trees???

Then this book is for you!

I'm not a competent marketer.

THE TREES ARE A-COMIN' LADS!! DURKON WARNED US OF THIS DAY! FIRE AS SHE BEARS!!!

Congratulations on your new position, Ryan!

Todd Stewart wrote:

And drinking scotch is indeed an awesome game!

Doesn't matter if you win or lose, just play it like you mean it! (and ignore those desperate cries of your liver...)

THE LIVER IS EVIL AND MUST BE PUNISHED!!!

Celestial Healer wrote:

You could have been a dwarf wizard.

I've always thought it would be a fun race/class combination.

Blasphemer! Don't make me destroy you.

Ship's Mage! Bring on th' thunderbolts!

Aberzombie wrote:

Update on the game last night: I totally blew their minds last night when I showed up to play.....

.....
.....
.....an elven wizard!

O_o

But...

You could have had a Dwarf!?

GET THE ROPE.