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Goth Guru's page

5,766 posts (5,793 including aliases). No reviews. No lists. 2 wishlists. 2 aliases.


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49: A cute, seemingly childish shadow creature starts following you around asking questions. It occasionally has to eat shadows, but then what casts them either dies or falls apart. While it's harmless and friendly, most of it's kind are the stuff of horror stories. Where there's one, there are more. (from Digger.)

12: Grey Dwarf hold. They repair the Golems, traps, and other mechanical stuff. The chief is the high level monster. Only he has the device that controls where a door leads. They are assembling some terrible machine, and will trade for parts, information, and such. Anybody who goes around smashing things will be outright attacked by them. Most are Lawful Evil, but a few have become so obsessed with their jobs that they have drifted into lawful neutral.

How do you play the Helm of Opposite alignment? A one time deal that crumbles to dust, or a continuing deal that clamps on their skull till successfully removed. The victim then gets back to making their own choices.

What if it's got some cool cheese such as helm of teleportation or telepathy? What if they changed all their levels in demonist for Paladin? The party may need a paladin more.

Now here's a tough philosophical dilemma. What if Joe Strawman piles up lots of bad karma destroying evil souls, then retires, and puts on the helm of opposite alignment?

lucky7 wrote:

Alignment: True Neutral

1. Animal
2. Earth
3. Knowledge
4. Plant
5. War

Fur, Caves, Espionage, Decay, Tactics, Metal

Vesivlod, the Sunken Baron
Minor god of tunnels, sappers, subterfuge.
Favored Weapon: Heavy Pick

Vesivlod is one of the eldest gods, a child of Maniaron formed deep within the earth. His lands beneath the surface have survived the constant wars that ravage the surface because Vesivlod, more than any other god, knows when to hide, forsaking greater power for the comforts of home.

Many a would-be-conqueror has sought to take his lands, only to find themselves lost and broken in the Underdark, their army taken apart by the very soil itself.

Vesivlod is depicted as an anthropomorphic mole holding a pick. His sacred colors are brown and rust. He has few venerated clerics, and is instead prayed to by those who seek to make a desperate defense.

Maybe his clerics are hiding.

56. "Shattered world necromancer consul. Cities raised up into the sky."
The ritual for creating a permanent gate is written in small print in the middle of the poster.

Unmarried Babies
Wombat PC named Digger

51."Every good dead means one less soul for the lower planes to feed to or turn into a fiend!"

Fine print at the bottom,"Sponsored and printed by the Church of Iomedae."

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Anybody who wants to play an android or robot, make them a probe. When their soul gem starts to run dry, have them suddenly start to remember their mission.:)

Worse yet(depending on your point of view), whoever was supposed to harvest the world, has long since ascended to a higher plane. They left,"Carry on my wayward son.",on their answering machine. This song.

I was toying with the idea of an M sized Shoggoth that took human form, then forgot. Every time it uses it's powers, such as forming a bone sword, it risks going full Shoggoth. Confronting it with an elder star is the only reliable way of turning it back.

50:(finally) The gazebo is made of plastic explosive, painted to look normal. In the base is a timed detonator that goes off 6 rounds after 100 pounds of weight is exerted on the floor of the gazebo. Bait can be a gold piece sovern glued to the floor or an unsuspecting mimic that the trigger is set to ignore.

96. Trader Samuel, LE Str 8,Dex 16, Con 8, Int 20, Wis 8, Cha 8 Necromancer 12, Professions Merchant(trader) Accountant. He's been known to go after undead to collect debts their will did not cover.

Volvagnos wrote:

340: A fist sized crystal appears. Whenever a living creature touches this crystal, it will play music rather loudly. The song it plays is always different from creature to creature, but is always somehow appropriate.

example: if picked up by a dwarven miner, something like this may be heard.

A musical stone of destiny. Nice!

A Herbalist preparing orchid tea of immortality is pretty natural.

All these immortals are why gods are recruiting prepetitioners as reapers. Even better if they get raised and do their work in the land of the living. :)

Look here. 1-or-cr-2-tohc

349: Posts that cannot be translated into the game. Some one(or thing) posted in the Bag of Beans topic,"roll up 3 results, use them as the points of a triangle, then the bean is the area of the triangle." WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Wish granted! The answer is Nyarlotep is summoned and tries to kill you.

I wish Comcast would unblock at least some of the channels.

Umbral Reaver wrote:
339. Roll three times on this table and draw a triangle between those three points. The bean equals the area of the triangle.

In area?

How do any of these bean results equal a point in space?
Is this some gordian knot that you posted because you are about to junk your computer and go full Amish?

All their evil memories and emotions are destroyed, while the inspiration at the center of their soul returns to the divine level from whence it came. You could bring the gems back to your church so they can pass them on to outsiders for deprogramming and eventual redeeming.

If you destroy all the evil in one town that way, the town might become sucked into the upper planes. Before that, all types of reapers and big metal retriever spiders will come try to stop you.

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Theliah Strongarm wrote:

290: A beggar who's actually a shape-changed demon.

291. A woman who's actually a shape-changed harpy.
292. A highwayman attempting to return stolen valuables to the guy he stole them from.
293. A giant magical glowing rock. It hums louder when a bomb.
294. A rift to another dimension.
295. A pile of dead bodies arranged in a pentagram and with ever-burning magical flames licking them.
296. An illusion of a ten mile deep chasm stretching to the horizon.
297. A toll booth requiring all magic items be surrendered to enter the country.
298. A goblin warrior proclaiming himself the "King of Thieves". He carries a dagger and can whip the party's ass.

There you go again. Success is never guaranteed.

A goblin warrior proclaiming himself the "King of Thieves". He carries a dagger and can whip the party's ass, unless the GM rolls a lot of 1s.

Besides, the party might not have a donkey.

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It's Pathfinder, so no fleet of illithid spaceships attacking.:(

Wish Granted.

I wish to be forgiven for posting in a matter that doesn't obey the OPs format if it's very worthwhile.
(There is a topic about artifacts that is being strangled by the OPs restrictions)

9: Played out mineMost of the hex is taken up by an ugly, deep, strip mine. It either drains out into aquifers, or filled up with stagnant water.

If settlement: The few remaining residents live in old buildings on the edge. Economy -4 The do whatever they can to survive. Law -4. If dry, the bottom of the mine is the perfect place for a goblin village.

No settlement: Any remaining villagers are disabled or crazy and couldn't leave. Only monsters willingly live here. May be a full on ghost town. Almost no normal flora or fauna.

Brolof wrote:

Magus, Slayer, my choice (Let's go with Cavalier), and more Slayer. Let's try my hand at this.

The Order of the Commoner is an order of knights and warriors dedicated to protecting the interests and rights of the common man. Founded by a simple militia man after a revolution that failed to meet its promises. It was his intent to create a force that would prevent rulers from abusing their subjects. They believe slavery to be a sin against sentience itself, and something that has to be squashed in its entirely. The entire aesthetic of the order is rough and plain, that of the common man. This is reflected in their

The Knights of the Commoner are the main face of the organization. Formed of cavaliers, they are the ones who surprisingly do the least work most of the time. This changes when the group moves to open combat however. The Knights form the hammer at those times, striking hard and fast, as most knights do during times of war.

The Freehands are the most varied group in the orde. It is mainly made of Slayers, though any who can wield a blade and have a good head on their shoulders can join. This makes them largest group of the order, and for good purpose. Freehand serve as guards, spies, trackers, bounty hunters, whatever is needed. The members are trained to act in small groups, and to be adaptable if need be. Though in times, the groups can be split up to make more unit like groups.

The final group, which is also the smallest, are the Shacklebreakers. Formed when the order first came into conflict with nations with slavery, the Breakers are a group of magi who form the spec ops of the order. Trained to be covert and armed with hanmers, they free slaves and lead them to safety, usually after the owner has had their head cracked open.

If only I was good at design, I tried to make a cavalier order to go with this. Also sorry if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes, I did this on my phone.

Order of the Eagle. Their mount is usually a wild creature, preferably a giant eagle. The often have feats like flyby attack. Class skill stealth for guerilla tactics. The feats for breaking things for chains and shackles. It's one of my homebrew ideas.

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Sorcerers have bloodlines, wizards have schools, and Clerics have domains. Why druids don't have base elements yet is a mystery.

When Paizo comes out with a book, "Mysteries of Nature" that will supersede my suggestions.

Gunslinger Monks sounds fun and rule 1 is fun.

I figured a double means more of that class than the others. Either that or higher class levels. Maybe both.

Ostay murftay.

221. Grouchy barbarian puts dead persons burned face back into the wall and smashes it into the wall. He does it with each body till the mechanism is ruined. Then he continues to smash the wall. The idiot who was the only key to that is long dead and gone. They were stupid to think being needed would make them immortal. They may have been an adventurer. :p

GreyWolfLord wrote:
Lathiira wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:
if anyone knows why clerics originally could only use blunted weapons you get plus 5 cool points. (later they added gods favored weapons)
Clerics were originally based a bit on various orders of the Middle Ages. They were not forbidden to fight in the Crudades (or against the heathens in general), but rather forbidden to shed blood. So they were allowed to bash someone's head in (cranial fluid didn't count I guess?), but not skewer them. With this basis, clerics could not thus use weapons unless they were bludgeoning. And they hated giant slugs forever after LOL

Until they discovered massive quantities of salt. After that, many Monasteries were built by the sea.

Disclaimer: if you can't understand the sarcasm, the above is a joke.

Don't worry, I took it with a grain of salt:)

I have a version of Pandora's box.

Pandora’s Box
This ornate box looks like ivory set with mosaics of mythological monsters. It radiates magic and identifies as a mega-bag of tricks. So much for the box text. When opened, the first person or creature that looks in is attacked by a random monster. After the initial melee, if the monster survives, it will become free willed and typical of it’s species. The item requires it be closed and 10min. recharge. Functions only 3 times a day. I mean, it creates permanent monsters.
01: Basilisk
02: Boar (Dire), Max hits.
03: Centaur
04: Cerberus Hell Hound: 3 headed, fire breathing, dire wolf.
05: Chimera
06: Cockatrice
07: Cyclops
08: Gorgon
09: Griffon
10: Harpy
11: Hydra
12: Lamia (Serpentine, add 3 cleric levels with D10s)
13: Lion(Dire) Max hits.
14: Manticore
15: Medusa
16: Minotaur
17: Nymph
18: Pegasus
19: Satyr
20: Sphinx
Hook: This is where all these monsters come from, the gods. There are no female Minotaurs or Satyrs. No male Medusas, Harpies, Nymphs, or Lamias. Even though this is not the original box, it is not made by mortals. If a cleric wants one they should start praying.

This topic can be for conversions of mytic artifacts. It should be opened up for items of other stories such as The One Ring. Also, does Aroden's sword retain any of his essence? What about his sandals?

Rope(Silk when I can afford it)
A lantern(Hooded or Bullseye)
Several flasks of oil
flint and steel(or tindertwigs)
Flasks of acid
Pitons(wrapped in rags)

Lanterns are good for dungeons and abandoned buildings. The oil is great for stuffing a rag in, lighting, and tossing at swarms. If they are immune to fire, then I need the acid. Pitons can be stuck in doors to give the whole party a chance to sleep or just heal up. They are also necessary for climbing.

Why are rags not stated?

If your characters are exploring a big, empty area of your game world, or you are choosing a place for an existing settlement, a random terrain list adds more fun. This is in addition to existing pathfinder tables. Some entries enable you to add an additional feature. There should be advantages and drawbacks. Some can shift the domant race in a settlement away from human. Add entries as you like. You can be silly but use enough rules crunch to keep it playable.

Normally in one mile hexagons, these can be drawn from a deck or dice rolled while exploring. They can also be used to modify a settlement, ruins, or other selected adventure destination.

1: Normal terrain. There are trees, and plants, and rocks and things. Open sky above. There is dirt, rocks, and then eventually bedrock beneath. This is the default. If another terrain doesn’t mention something, that part is like this. If a town is built here, no terrain modifiers.

[/b]2: Cavern beneath.[/b] Not very good for farms because the water table is messed up.

If a town is built there it should be in the cavern. Dwarves, Drow, Darklings, and other subterranean creatures are likely living there.

If no settlement, 1-2 Empty, 3-4 monster lair, 5 ruins, 6 town-anyways. There’s a secret door leading down. If there’s something like an ancient dragon down there the door is too big and heavy for normal characters to lift.

The settlement is primarily built underground, sheltering it from enemies but also isolating it culturally. (Law +1, Lore -1, Danger -5)
Source: Down the Blighted Path

3: Floating land mass above. Instead of plants there are mushrooms and other fungi. . May be hidden by clouds. May have an engine to move it.

Any town or city is built on the landmass
Military +4 because they have the high ground.

If no settlement, 1-2 Empty, 3-4 monster lair(Cloud Giants), 5 ruins, 6 town-anyways.

4: Hyperspace off ramp. Space is stretched thin above the terrain so this is the easiest place for space ships to arrive. Farms will have crop circles. Flying things will disappear. Things will fall out of the sky.

If settlement, +4 commerce, -4 law and order, +4 danger(Space monsters)

5: Ruins. Ancient, abandoned buildings.

If settlement, it’s built on top of the ruins creating a ready made dungeon. Add a quality for the dungeon. Either famous or more high level characters, among others.

If no settlement, It’s over grown and the lair for some monsters. It attracts archeologists. +4 to rituals performed here because of lay lines intersecting here.

6: Planar intersection The walls between the planes are weakest here. Paranormal activity of all kinds will be more common. Outsiders will be on the wandering encounter tables.

If settlement, Merchants and diplomats will protect their gates from being closed.

If no settlement, flora and fauna from any other planes will be growing wild. There may be shrines for deities from the Dark Tapestry.

7: Built on top of a prison(Don't wake the Terask!) There is an entire dungeon blocking the door to a prison of a terrible god or Mythic monster. It could be the Terask, Fenris, some other elder beast, a demigod undead, or a False God Lamia.
If settlement, the prison is a secret. There are 2 organizations. One dedicated to keeping the prison sealed, and another to freeing the prisoner. The citizens may be feeling the curse, having nightmares, or even dealing with monsters called to by the prisoner.

If no settlement, there is still a lost temple on top of the entrance to the dungeon. It will have hieroglyphics on the standing walls warning of the prisoner. There may be guardian monsters, and items useful against the type of creature. The flora and fauna may be withered or twisted by the imprisoned creature.

8: Resident deity(or 2) Some demigods and titans never leave the world. The area is colored and affected by their domains. They usually live in a grand palace, temple, or lush grotto.

If settlement: +4 clerical magic. -4 arcane.

No settlement: All the plants, animals, and monsters that the deity favors. Majestic, for example, would live atop a tall, sheer, mountain. As you can tell, I am adding in my randomly created deity.

I was trying to make a point that whatever nature god or goddess that was in charge chose to ban metal armor from their druids. They gain all magic dealing with nature and related elements in return for no metal armor. Probably because of the destruction of mature caused by iron mining and metal axes.

If a druid focuses on earth or fire, they would instead lose access to the opposed magic.

You could instead just let Druids wear metal armor. Perhaps they must kill and symbolically skin a humanoid to get it. Somebody asked me if homebrew was like wish fulfilment. If your going down that road, you should also have killer druid robots. If it becomes too easy, it becomes no fun.

The Sideromancer wrote:
Goth Guru wrote:

Here's why BTB(By The Books) Druids cannot use metal armor,

Gaia said so!

Yes, but Gaia hasn't been in charge of anything for a while. Caves and other deep earth affairs are currently under Hades' administration. Also, this is the homebrew section, so the book doesn't matter much.

Yes, strip mines do look like Hell.

Did you look at them?

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286:A Sing Beans vine grows! It rapidly grows 1-4 beans if left on the ground. If trained onto any structure, it grows 3D6 beans. The singing string beans have the effect of a bard song(choose one, they take requests). They stay effective for 24 hours if picked. If left on the vine 2 days they each stop singing and produce 1D6 plantable beans. With a bucket full of dirt and a banner pole, you can take the beans with you on your next adventure. It's 20 minutes from planting and watering till they begin singing. Cooking and eating the beans double your singing perform check for 24 hours. If you are a bard, you get double all numerical functions of bard song. In other words, your song to inspire courage persists twice as long. Only one thing doubled per bean so choose wisely.

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Here's why BTB(By The Books) Druids cannot use metal armor,
Gaia said so!

Have it both ways. A chapter on each of the major planes, then a chapter on settings. How does Golarion's dealings with the planes differ from an oriental setting? The planes of wood and metal may not rate an individual chapter, but how to run a game where an oriental made cubic gate is found would be useful. What about Spacefinder. Is hyperspace a part of the ethereal plane? If travel is done through the dark tapestry, will anyone who peeks out a window start to grow tentacles?

Yeah, too much else to do than stuff some people don't want.
I was being sarcastic.
Sometimes I try to help someone and a dev or mod moves a topic somewhere I don't want to go.

Generally if an item has a feat or skill based power, I just add 20,000GPs to the price. Someone with the feat or skill must participate in the creation of the item.

Wands are for in combat healing, spells and potions are for between encounters. Only PCs and noob GMs forget that. The ogre has the healing potion to use if he survives. Drinking it during combat is pointless.

I've seen dummies try to use magic device with a wand of cure light wounds while something was trying to hit him.

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Magical waterproof leather armor comes from seals.
Are you happy? You took this conversation there.

You could have just said that leather is magically shed by cows like in Farmville or Big Farm, but no, you had to track reality in here!

Wolves sneak into flocks of sheep by wearing the skin of a sheep they previously ate. There's an otherwise normal wolf wearing leather. It doesn't last long because they don't treat it like humans do. Now you have that HORRIBLE PICTURE IN YOUR MIND.

Then blue cheese dressing is anti blue mold, even though there is a lot more blue mold in the world because of it.

Scientists have proven that plants scream when being harvested, you just cannot hear it.

You can reduce the amount of hypocrisy in your life. You cannot eliminate it entirely. Thus the balance of nature druids are fond of talking about.

If playing takes you farther from winning the game must be referred to as a kind of golf.

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The paladin was a very white Englishman, so his raps were so lame they drove everyone away.

The paladin refused to touch the Bag of Beans because it detected as chaotic.

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282:A pod grows that is permanently magical. The pod is the size of a small sack on the outside, large sack on the inside. Each day when the owner wakes up there is an item in it.

1-A new bag of beans
2-Cure light wounds potion in a bean shaped glass vial.
3-A glowing(like a torch) stone. If used as a sling stone, and if it hits, it bursts doing 2D6 blunt damage.
4-A vial of sleep poison good for 1D6 weapon applications.
5-The script for Inception.
6-All non treasure goods inside will be replaced with the sale price in coins.
7-All coins inside are turned to gold!(If you put any platinum pieces in there, sucks to be you.)
8-A male parrot that seems to know a lot of "Your Momma" jokes.

You can add more with the number and a dash. As the pod cannot be closed, amusing living creatures can appear in good health.

Let druids wear armor made of unprocessed iron ore. It's basicly rock. It can be affected by magnetism. From flack jackets with IO sewn between layers to rocky full plate it will make rules sticklers have a head explosion.

You could instead have elemental and seasonal focus for Druids. Druids with earth/mineral focus can have metal armor, but they can't use air oriented spells. The spring Druid also has all the healing and growth spells. They can select a bonus spell of each level from these guidelines, in addition to wisdom bonus spells.

Air focused druids can not have heavy armor but can use wind, flying, and levitating spells.

Water focused druids can cast swiming, air breathing, spells and such. Armor and shields made of shells are allowed. They cannot cast fire/heat spells. They can cast cold/ice spells. The fall and winter druids are further split from this. Fall is more rain and necromantic based. Winter is necromantic and ice based.

Fire focused druids can cast all the fire based spells, and use metal armor. Fire is involved in making metal armor. The Summer Druid is a subset of this. They also have growth magic.

General rules, Druids with an elemental bent can elect to have an animal companion with that elemental orientation. A fire druid can have a hell hound companion that they enlarge for combat, as long as there is no major alignment conflict.

Druids can instead focus on animals or plants, giving up unrelated elemental spells. An animal focused Druid can have a magical beast companion, but will not summon elementals. A plant based druid can turn into, summon, and have a plant monster animal companion.

Druids that choose not to focus must use druids right out of the rulebooks.

Besides where would you plug in your amps? You cant have heavy metal rock without amps!

To be serious, only copper occurs naturally in that form. Iron has to be cooked out of the ore.

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Druids have lost sight of the original intent. They should be allowed to use bow and arrows when the arrows use stone arrowheads.Also, turtle shell shields. What about sword like weapons made of wood with a sharp onyx blade. They should have a spell for petrifying wood so it becomes as hard as steel. By casting that on the dead trees, they can prevent clearing the land.

The rules for this topic are that each use, detail, or misc. must not conflict with the show or previous rules. Otherwise, anything goes.

1:There is a factory in Wonderland where Plumbusi are manufactured.

2:Plumbusi is the plural used in Wonderland.(See how any plural used in the show is left valid?)

3:Brushing a rabbit's foot with the rubbery spikes causes the brusher to have a +1 luck bonus for the rest of the day.

Failed (sort of)Hag rituals
Withered legs: The hag to be have their legs withered to uselessness. The legs gain the power to attach to a human or humanoid's spine so they can dominate them and use them as a mount.

Blindness: Note that if they open their eyes the disgusting ruins of their useless eyes nauseates as a gaze attack.

Semi comatose: They can move only in moonlight. The usually find a bed in a clinic or hospital and move in. If a money grubbing manager puts the unconscious hag out on the street, she will level a curse on the place, and stalk off into the night looking for another bed.

Powerful, specific, monsters could be mythic. Maybe there is a space in the first world where prime specimen exist that spawn rank and file monsters in game worlds. It makes more sense than Echidna giving up her chaotic evil to be in the outlands.

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