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Gem Inspector

GoatToucher's page

1,344 posts. No reviews. No lists. No wishlists.


1 to 50 of 1,344 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

GW should not rule this city because we should be taking power away from old white men, not giving it to them! Down with the Patriarchy!

Here you are. Nineteen-eighties Lego Style.

Next poster: would you kindly explain your behavior last night?

GM_B needs to make somebody love him before it's too late.

Dr. G is banned because his nose actually fits that plague mask.

Some forumites want to own me, others want to stone me, but Pulg says he's a friend of mine.

Jay used his Berserker Rage

I stuff krevon inside of Pulg, who I then stuff inside a turkey, making a Turpulgrevon, which i serve to other forum dwellers.

:enters wearing a "I Was Cast Into the Void Beyond Space and Time Where Horrors Outside Mortal Reasoning Lie and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt!" t-shirt:

I introduced my rump ointment to Those that Dwell Beyond Sleeping. They found it soothing.

:walks in, a great tumult going on in his trousers:

For -science-!

TFF is banned for shrinking down to the size of a mouse and walking under those ladies' dresses to have a peek.


(Iowa has many ninja schools).


People steal from rats all the time and get away with it. They're so tiny, and we have cats.

CS is a Xenophile-ophile.

GM_B is banned for not knowing that cowgirls drink bourbon whiskey.

MD is banned for not realizing that booty has been here all along.

:provides proof:

:generously applies Goat Toucher brand Rump Ointment:

Oooh... that's nice. Essence of Ghost Peppers and Ennui. Bracing!

. The fat one said nothing.

the two burst into action,

DuBuque County, Iowa Knitting Competiion

1: There, we've hammered one tournament standard sized bowling ball into your colon. It was a lot of work, but a group effort saw us through. What would you like to do next?

2: A second... The first one nearly did you in! The best case scenario for a second ball is a slow, agonizing death!

3: No. I won't be party to your suicide. I'll just leave you here with the second ball, a jar of lubricant jelly, a shoehorn, and some romantic music. Is there anything else I can do for you?


1: Slow down there, slugger! I didn't ask for the whole thing!

2: Miss Willoughby, it would be an honor.

3: I'm not quite sure, but I'll tell you this much: I started the evening with all ten toes.

If you break GW's concentration, even for a moment, he will turn into a pile of dust and old people smell.


Avatar of Zon-Kuthon wrote:
I agree with BL, there are certain things that even the most despicable individual wouldn't do.

You're adorable.

ghost of James Earl Jones

What KahnyaGnorc's got, he's gonna get it, put it in you.

Indeed, and it is a feast for the eyes! A carnival of debasement! A degenerate's fever dream! The things that happen! What one person will do to another! What objects will fit where! The screams! The horror! The revulsion mixed with growing and unwholesome delight! When you watch, you will ask yourself why, but you will not be able to look away, like watching a homeless man eat his own leg to beat back starvation!

:rubs chest:

You'll watch and wonder at what is left of the actors who began the series! How much is truly them? Then you'll think about yourself, and how -you- have been changed!

And you will weep, and your tears will be savory.

All brought to you by GoatToucher Brand Rump Ointment.

The next poster will give a review of the first episode.

You can include aspects of the FATE system's Atomic Robo RPG "aspect" system into your pathfinder game in order to add dynamism to the narrative because you are the GM.

Pulg once ate a mule while watching a 1998 Bears/Packers game.



against them at your peril.

No, they fired her.

:grinds down onto goblin carcass:


GW will be dead in ten minutes.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Mermaid Man is banned for his poor treatment of his young ward and sidekick.

Do I ever! :blows kiss:

The next poster knows what we get up to in that box.

If you remove Uncle Teddy's helmet, you will find only a bare skull and a rubber smile.

:sits upon Mogmurch, who wriggles, bites, and stabs in an effort to escape:

My rump's seen far worse than anything you can dish out, my little friend.

:settles into chair with crackling sounds as the goblin is simultaneously crushed and suffocated, his last breaths filled with the sweet smell of GoatToucher's Lilac and Hate scented rump-ointment:


inadvertantly restored Chuck to life

Uncle Teddy is banned for band banning.

GW is composed primarily of black coffee and dust.

Indeed. There's a certain part of my anatomy I like to call the Noisy Cricket.

The next poster will tell us a name for one of their body parts.


I disembowel Goddity with a pair of chopsticks.

It takes some time.

I would like new ideas for rump-ointment scent combinations.

thus damning himself to hell.

against the coming Jun horde.

1 to 50 of 1,344 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

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