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Gem Inspector

GoatToucher's page

793 posts. No reviews. No lists. No wishlists.


1 to 50 of 793 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

Pity about your genitals.

IHIYC should not rule this city due to his treasonous dealings with the Arch-Weasel in the last war.


The next poster has perfected the art of the turkey sandwich.

Grodd played the part of Stupefyin' Jones in his high school's production of Lil' Abner.

...the Funk of Forty Thousand Years!

:smothers semiconscious Grodd with a pillow, stroking his fur and comforting him with a soft "Shhh. Shhhhhh...":

Banned for being coy.

TFF should not rule this city because he does not appreciate how important pheromones are to my... lifestyle.

My crew and I roll up like some old school messiahs.

Peolpe come from miles around. My lyrics feed thousands!

KG tastes like licorice.

Big McLargeHuge, standing by.

Hi everybody!

:quietly drags Alastor's unconscious body around the corner:

:leaves the rest to your imagination/ worst fears:

IHIYC owns a complete set of Babysitters' Club books.

MD has x-ray vision, but only for pants. This has lead to a number of accidental sterilizations (and a few intentional ones).

1: Something -strange- and -mystical-...
2: Film star and rich baritone Morgan Freeman. He stalks the night, creeping into the homes of the innocent, and when they wake, he... -narrates-.
3: Because the first try was so hilarious, he earned a Mulligan. I mean, I think he actually soiled himself!

Getting back to the original format, some answers:

1: You know what they say: When life give you lemons...
2: I didn't know that. That's the kind of thing that can totally alter a fellow's worldview.
3: That sounds sexier than Bugs Bunny dressed in women's clothes.

WH is smooth like a Ken doll "down there".

:something horrible involving a ginger sticking something into Pulg in a lethal fashion. Redacted though: It was just -too- unsavory:

IHIYC is banned because history is weird, and he is the scapegoat.

:eyes IHIYC: ScapeGOAT, eh?

Granted. You wish for a corrupted wish.

I wish for the ability to satisfy every woman.

But your lifelong ambition is to viciously cornhole-a-bull.

Leave the animals to me, over goats, I'm the President.


The next poster will be as unthinking, as unfeeling as the dead, until the day they join them.

:looks of into the distance wistfully, a funny little smile on his face:

Oh look: a lonesome goat left astray in the wilderness! :approaches THS: Do not worry little goat-friend. I will take care of you.

:takes "goat" around corner, in order to do "things" to it in privacy:

:is stabbed by THS:

:shrugs: Eh. Not the first time I've been stabbed by a goat. :quaffs potion:

:Does "things" to Goathoppenskip. Such wonderful "things". Such -horrible-, wonderful things!:

:time passes:

:more time than would make you comfortable. It's best not to think about it, really:

:there are noises as well:

:best not to think about those either:

:comes back around corner:

:whistles a happy tune:

Oh, what's this here in the grass? Why, it's the Win!

And all for me!

Triphoppenskip is banned for being less entertaining than his cousin, Triphophooray.

I fire a trout at WH in excess of mach 2, using my piscine rail gun, pulverizing his body.

IHIYC came in third in the 2008 Georgia State Fair pulled pork sandwich eating contest.


:Blasts away head-clam, and alleviates built up ego-power:

It will take place at a chapel in a quaint little rustic village in Nirmathas. The wedding party and guests will sack and burn the village at the end of the ceremony. RSVP with numbers or regrets. There will be no survivors.

The next poster will be known by the trail of the dead.

Manowar: made of steel not clay, checking in.

Your Death: My Life

You're a goat? Than I'll touch you: gonna give you a slap!

All you people better know that GoatToucher is the illest!

Go and get yourself some ointment for that glowing red eye.

Of the flow, I'm the king. Of the rhyme, I'm the mastah.

Poog is banned for accusing SK of making false assumptions when he (Poog) actually -does- sleep in a closet.

Dunston, checking in.

Granted. The rest of him turns green as he expands to ten times his size. He gains tremendous strength and boundless rage.

And he is trapped in a port-a-potty.

After a Hispanic heritage festival.

In August.

With you.

I wish there was an easier way to get soap scum off my shower door!

Poog fits the outward stereotype of the filthy and ungroomed goblin, but he keeps his hovel scrupulously clean, and proudly displays his collection of over four dozen decorative spoons (though, admittedly, he slices open the belly of anyone who touches them).

Krevon should not rule this city because they cut out his humanity

Damn you!


Everybody Here Gets a Bullet

Again, no.

Yes, I clearly am.

This is great and all, but why don't we shift conversation back to my winning.

Magic is banned for forgetting that Trix are for kids.

Belphegor has not removed his gold mask in three years, and whatever is going on underneath is beginning to smell of French cheese.

Pulg should not rule this city until he brushes out all his knots.

Using the bathroom by yourself would be a pretty simple task.

My rhymes are dope and my style has flayva!

Senor Manpiece, standing by.

Grodd should not rule this city because of his doo-doo at furry conventions

Do... "things"... to him.

Rashly: From the navel up he's a red panda. From the navel down he's a male human with a crippling pants-allergy.

1 to 50 of 793 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

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