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Gem Inspector

GoatToucher's page

457 posts. No reviews. No lists. No wishlists.


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1 to 50 of 457 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

The second one. A jerk GM will queer the enjoyment of even the best concept

Blow on the head

or

Boot in the teeth and a dagger up the strap


Full Career? Jack Nicholson. Joker? Heath Ledger.

Breath mint

or

Candy mint


Look! :points: In the distance!

It's me winning!


I show WH a mirror, forcing him to confront himself after the horrible deeds he has done.

The rest takes care of itself.


BSM is banned because we didn't start the fire.


1. Oh no! It's the sinister Dr. Pedant!

2. ... And his henchman, Mr. Idiom!

3. What can we do to stop them? What can we dooooo?!?

Answers:

1. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

2. If I kill all the golfers they'll lock me up and throw away the key!

3. It's good to be the king...


1. This stew is delicious! What's in it?

2. So Bob finally finished his jetpack powered by Sisyphean ennui. How does it fly?

3. :at Wullamarong Medical Center in Sydney: We're about to begin the appendectomy, Dr. Brucenbruce. Do you have all the instruments you need?

Answers

1. I think that was one cookie too many.

2. :sings: Makin' movies, singin' songs and Foightin' 'Round the Wooooorld!

3. Oh! My hip!


equinoxmaster wrote:
if this was a TV show, I would enjoy the heck out of it!!!

Ask, and ye shall receive:

http://youtu.be/QLlPF2vR9gg


A Lannister. Now that <redacted> is dead and <redacted> has been exiled, not to mention <redacted> being locked up in the <redacted> I will be cock of the walk, baby!

You can see through everyone's clothing, but you can't turn it off and you work in a nursing home.

or

You regenerate from any damage to your body, but all animals find you irresistibly delicious and you work in animal control.


Grundolker should not rule this city because his zomborg fixation will distract him from the critical Commie-Nazi situation.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

...the Mystery-Solving Metalheads of Black Sabbath!


1. Are you having a stroke? Do you know where you are right now?

2. So, "The Doctor Goes Fishing" eh? What are you using for bait?

3. How did your eHarmony date go?

Answers:

1. Back, and to the left. Back, and to the left.

2. SCOTUS just ordered a dozen pepperoni pizzas and a couple strippers.

3. Maybe they make a topical cream for that.


Kat's Eye is banned for chewing on my couch... or a bear... or my bear couch.


Oatmeal

Pegasus

or

Unicorn

For lunch...


:knocks TFF out with a lit pipe bomb, leaves it in TFF's lap:


Divide by zero.

:takes win as WH stands frozen, blue fluid running out of his nose and ears:


I have my lucky sweatband when I play!

The next poster is keeping something under his/her hat.


some musclebound hockey playing warlord


Oop.

Eat My Bullet


Killed to Kill


The Fisherman


Sword Sharks


Die, Commie, Die!


Elephant. I'd fight crime.

Eat grilled chicken every meal for the rest of your life

or

Have whatever food you like provided for you, but you must eat a live 3" cockroach before every meal for the rest of your life


1. Sooo... Um... What's going on with your genitals there?

2. I heard you used to work at the George Washington Carver Microbiology Lab.

3. Give me a significant fact about lipstick.

Answers:

1. It bends slightly to the left, but I wouldn't worry about it unless you get over eighty miles per hour.

2. Wow. That -is- a lot of ham!

3. You don't understand, General: the President's endocrine system IS the bomb!


Fair enough.

Scorpions. I'd rather lose a toe than an eye.

Choose between:

A fishhook in your eyelid getting yanked free

or

Biting down on a nail file and having it torn out of your mouth


That's no salami. :wink:

It's pepperoni. I am making a bunch of pizzas for a church function.

The faces are due to Bell's Palsy. Thanks for bringing it up. Jerk.

The next poster once was lost, but now is found.


I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a Win today!

:takes win:

:aside: I'm not going to pay him Tuesday.


Pulg should not rule this city because he's sent a Scot to do an Irishman's work!


You bunch of cowards, now answering for five days!

I'll do it.

Impotent, because if you're incontinent you won't be seeing any action anyway.

Hit by a car going 50 mph

or

Dragged by the same car for fifty feet


Indeed. Like former governor Jesse "The Body" Ventura, I am a sexual tyrannosaurus, and I've got chocolaty shoes to match!

The next poster knows kung-fu, and will show you.


and Carl in a minidress.


This proved to be ill advised because


due to the


NOOOOOOOOOOO! VII: The Denial


1. So you want to make the third little pig Greek for some reason. You can't build this house you're planning for him without being offensive, not to mention the fact that there's no way it will be as structurally sound as the original design.

2. So, how's your lower gastrointestinal tract?

3. Pikachuck? Is that like a Pokemon who uses roundhouse kicks or something?

Answers:

1. Boxers. -Definitely- boxers.

2. I dunno. I think I got a hold of some bad clams or something.

3. Not with -my- pancreas you won't!


:slams into TFF with a brand new 2000 SUX:

I'd buy THAT for a dollar!


Always bet on black.

:Runs over WH with a combine harvester:


I claim this win for Queen Isabella of Spain!


Fuel Drop should not rule this city, because there is only room for one ascot wearing reprobate in this town!


Brad!

:Shoots Brad:

Janet!

:Shoots Janet:

Doctor Scott!

:Shoots IHIYC:


Yes. Uninflatable balloons leave me cold. Blech!

The next poster will bring the hobbits alive... and unspoiled.


Not Enough Guns 4: The Gunnening


bring a class action suit against the


fire department arrived with the


known as "GassItalianos"


1. You were convicted of defrauding hundreds of people out of their life's savings. Was your twenty month prison term unpleasant?

2. How's the steak?

3. As representative of the Florida Citrus Growers Coalition, what is your new marketing campaign?

Answers:

1. I'll grind yer bones ta make me bread!

2. Delicious pork gravy.

3. :turns head to the side: I don't know -what- to make of that.


KenderKin's real name is KenderKEN.


Granted. While you are busy flipping off the city, some hooligans steal your mattress full of cash.

I wish The Barenaked Ladies would stage a comeback.


Banana Cream Pie.

Break all of the fingers on one hand

or

Knock out all your front teeth

1 to 50 of 457 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

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