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Gem Inspector

GoatToucher's page

1,650 posts. No reviews. No lists. No wishlists.


1 to 50 of 1,650 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I fire my livestock gun at Pulg, which causes a four legged herbivore to strike him at over six hundred mph.


I burn GG to death by doing the Neutron Dance.

341: Timmy is trapped in the well.

delight and unwholesome arousal, since

1: Fun fact: Cinderella's clothes were possessed of a demonic sentience that compelled the prince to love her. The so-called "fairy godmother" was, in fact, summoning forth aid from the nether-realms in compliance with a blood pact with Cinderella's parents.
2: Though he tried to hide it, the priest had an inexorable feeling of foreboding about what lay ahead in the dark night to come.
3: How the devil do I defeat this Ovokinetic poltergeist?

1: Half a pound of tupenny rice, half a pound of treacle.
2: Now -that's- what I call a Great Old One!
3: The most glorious underpants the world has ever seen.

Yo momma's skin so rough, the Deep Ones be like "Damn: -that- chick be squamous!"

Yo momma so ugly, that professors studying images of her in dusty old manuscripts of "Chunky Butts" magazine have been driven to madness,

:puts gun to MD's temple:

This won't bring her back, but you won't be coming back either.


That's terrible.

Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice...

IHIYC is showing Batman what a sinister clown can really do.

In thematically appropriate closet-based ways.

1: Man, this sedan by Ahura-Mazda is a lemon.
2: You guys? Tails is hiding under the table muttering "Please stop, 'ol buddy..." over and over again. It looks like he was beat up pretty bad.
3: Mmm! Smells good. What's this... the "Necronomicook Book"? Did you get this off Amazon?


1: Now you're messin' with a... SONUVVAB&&~%!
2: At first I thought the singing was going to drive me crazy, but I;ve learned to like it.
3: Theirs no such thing as "too much rump ointment".

El Guapo, in turn, was

Roasters gonna roast...

Feazle looked upon these shenanigans

IHIYC is actually a dream manifestation of a fifth grader's potato battery science project. The potato generated enough electricity to gain sentience, but lacks mechanisms to express itself or impact the world outside of its dreams.

GM_B is Facebook friends with Calendar Man and Crazy Quilt.

and held orgiastic rites involving

Olive garden lives
Deaths in the apple orchard
Produce is divine

of her blade as she held it

The dagger.

The dagger is more useful at low levels, where you might creatures en mass, rather than large individual beasts that might be felled with one vorpal blow.

Further, with that dagger, I might play a caster, where my weapon use is largely immaterial, or a Magus, where such a weapon would be a godsend. A caster would likely not be able to wield the longsword in any case.

Were I a martial class, being limited by the low damage of a dagger or the infrequent hits of the longsword would be crippling. I would be beaten to death by the first for to come along with a greatsword.

Would you rather game in person once a month or game online (via chat, skype, d20pro, etc...) once a week?

I win.

Clearance. I am patient when it comes to gaming products.

Would you rather have a great gaming crew that meets infrequently or a lackluster crew that meets like clockwork?

1 person marked this as a favorite.

O Mighty One, those beings are beyond mortal kenning and restraint, so I brought before you their child in our world: Madness! May it give you the insights you need.

Next poster, by my troth, I demand that you bring me a surreal or abstract painter.

Your enormity, behold!!!!

Next poster, in the name of my father and my father's fathers, I would have you bring unto me a circus animal!

...the damnably long memory of Pepperidge Farms!

there was a figure clad in lace

Something is happening to Alayern... -back there-

IHIYC finds a good deal of crack, as well as a host of other illicit substances, when plying his trade... of hiding in closets.

with a mixture of dread and arousal

Feazle then cast his gaze

Goat Toucher brand Rump Ointment: Haunted Bottom

Make a new season of evil in your trousers with Goat Toucher brand Rump Ointment

:gathers some lich-dust for a new Rump Ointment recipe:

tear the colon out of

Youshu Uhsoy's greatest accomplishment is teaching Goku the Kahmehameha wave.

and a terrible wrath began to grow

Mar Nakrum is banned for not making more "Why not Zoidberg?" jokes.

to cleanse body and spirit

:calls out as the van speeds away:

But wait! I have such wonderful things to show you!

found the bandit leader weeping bitterly over

Indeed. Nobody knows better than I that you don't need pants for the victory dance.

The next poster is my special weasel.

Tarrintino once killed a man using only his endocrine system.

The white "V" in IHIYC's forehead dispenses candy.

It was obviously Vyvyan.

"This calls for a delicate blend of psychology and extreme violence. "

The next poster will not clean the toilet, as it would lose all its character.

the hedges of many small villages. Soon


as "Feazle's Jig" which involves

Meanwhile, back at the ranch,

Eight Knives of the Demon King

with controls designed for two-thumbed hands.

Pulg has got what it takes to survive in the big city.

337: the cat's been eaten.

1 to 50 of 1,650 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

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