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Gem Inspector

GoatToucher's page

1,237 posts. No reviews. No lists. No wishlists.


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Goddity seeks to harness her power for SCIENCE! and leave her an empty husk when he is through.

I respect that.


:eyes narrow, chill wind blows:


Amasu has preternatural control over her flatulence. She once performed "Memories" from the musical Cats onstage at Madison Square Garden.


:eats ROG:

What was that cold codger on about?

:belches, coughs up artificial hip:

Excuse me!

:dabs corners of mouth with monogrammed lace hankie:


his first degree, but he


1 person marked this as a favorite.

You can throw your players into a sack one by one and beat them with a broom handle until you get tired because you are a violent sociopath who is also the DM!


I much prefer "flamboyant" or "flaming".

The next poster knows what to do when it's raining men.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Ryhmes.

I would rhyme, like, often.

Would you rather have an intelligent weapon with +10 in enchantments that could outsmart you, or a normal weapon with +4 in enchantments?


Goddity enjoys a nice pickle now and again.


simply by taking out his


None of the gristle
Prometheus, he fooled me once
Now he regrets it


Ahoy, mate-ees! Time for a game of Peglegs and Portholes!

Bos'n! Bring out the grease!


And -I- shall be the Captain! Cabin boy! Retrieve my ointments and creams and come to my cabin. First Mate: I'll inspect the crew at eight bells!


Other than our souls
Flimtar: Consumer of All
Only wants our flesh


Ah, Poutine: It's nature's candy!


Yes... It's about people who are -kind of- goons... and they... shive.

In Mexico, apparently.

The next poster with tell us something strange and mystical.


You can instruct your players to replace their interpersonal roleplay with interpretive dance because you're the DM!


So is KahnyaGnorc.


to visit Canada quite often


You can crack open the skull of one of your players and devour his brains as his friends look on in horror because you're the GM!

Am I doing this right?


a little less deadly than


Mmm Otyughs.... That takes me back.


could activate his killer robot.


Nile Empire: What fun!
If you want to be the Torg
Travel to Orrorsh.


So -that's- where my back massager went!

:takes pistol and Win:


the entire Senate came calling


I kill tQR with lasciviousness.


Fame - You have it all
"I Want to Live Forever!"
Remember my name!


the Baddest Mother F#####r who


:sigh: So nothing new then? Very well...

I wish the Transmuter would get here and put my flesh back in order. I have a party tonight.


Granted, but the Patriarchy provides privileges for old white men, so...

I wish to experience something that I haven't experienced before to make me feel alive.


Supreme Court justices, who then


BlindKitsune enjoys a nice pork sandwich (with mayo, lettuce, and a light dusting of salt and pepper) for lunch. She washes it down with cool spring water flavored with just a pinch of Hatred.


Certainly. [redacted]

Next poster, would you kindly sing us a merry song to aid with the digestion of breakfast?


"I'll flatten your nose..."
Said the dwarven prostitute.
I knew what she meant.


Certainly. Right this way...

:leads JJ into his "workroom" and does "work":


When you least expect it, but don't worry: it will be -so- much fun.

The next poster can give first-hand testimonial of how much fun it is.


Indeed. Le last time we met, we had such a wonderful time.

Well, -I- certainly had a wonderful time. I can't imagine why he doesn't want to be found...

The next poster -does- understand.


broke his collarbone while trying


283. Open faced club sandwiches.


Later that same evening, Jesus


You know why the Win is warm, don't you?

:puts the Win back in the front pocket of his tight, tight pants:


Alright, but only so I can feel the sensation of tearing the tape off, only to have it reapplied. Cheaper than a waxing, but just as grotesque!

The next poster will describe how they scrubbed me with a loofah after my depilation.


272: Vampires inspired by -That Woman-.


rashly5 is banned 'cause he can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my posterface.


"Shut up, let me sleep."
Said the tired elder god
To confused cultists


which he then used to


Granted. They, like you, wish other races were more like them, so you are no longer a Wayang.

I wish American television was more like Telenovelas.


The temple of Iomedae has a spittoon next to the altar.


:puts MSPoG in a lady-bison suit, sprays him with lady-bison musk, and sets him out among the gentlemen bison:

:the result is deleterious to MSPoG's gastrointestinal integrity and overall health:

:watches intently:

1 to 50 of 1,237 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

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