Gittik eyes the fairy suspiciously. "OK, but me no like short people."
Jump roll = 14 + 11 = 25. If that's enough to reach the hobbo's leg, Gittik will try to grab on, dropping his scimitar to leave a hand free. Touch attack = 16 + 11 = 27, but he doesn't have Improved Unarmed Strike so he provikes an AoO. Grapple check = 12 + 6 = 20.
Gittik leaps upwards for the wizard, trying to grab his leg and aiming to stab him in the groin (next round).
Up the DM, but probably opening your flies is a standard action which provokes an AoO. Maybe a DEX roll not to catch himself in the zip, and on a fumble..... Well, if I were DM, anyway.
"You no get better!" roars (in a high-pitched sort of way) the furious halfling.
Attacking the duskblade at A6. Roll to hit = 19 + 10 = 29, threat confirmation = 12 + 10 = 22, damage = 9 if no crit, and 19 if crit is confirmed. Roll to hit with kukri = 12 + 10 = 22, damage = 1 + 3 = 4.
"IT BURNS! IT BURNS! Oh, wait, it no feel too bad after all."
Charging the duskblade in A7. I've lost track a little of where things are, so please put me somewhere sensible, probably next to Stiggy if possible, say A6 if it's free. Roll to hit = 10 + 12 + 2 = 24, damage = 2 + 6 = 8.
"Meh, I say leave him here. We kill hobbo, we come back and let him out. Or kill him - depend on how me feel. We no let him go now in case he give us over to hobbo. Remember, him goblin chief - him much more worse than anyone else you meet."
"What you do here, Skinx? Why you tie up in sack, why you no blast down enemy like in old day? You now too old, too weak? Maybe me kill you to be kind."
OK, put me starting at E16. Hide = 7 + 10 = 17. I will leap from under cover to D16 as the canoe pulls up and stick the hobbo at C15. Rolled a 2. 2 + 10 = 12. Crap.
Gittik leaps from the canoe and swings wildly at the hobgoblin.
"Pointy, you know nothing too! Hobbos sleep in day, walk around at night. They probably all awake at dawn. We go hit them when sun is up, so we can see and maybe them asleep."
"Me think you plan suck big one. You plan make big fuss, get all hobbo come see what go one, and then they laugh at hobbo with croco. Me say we get up close to dock and we kill hobbo there, surprise, and at same time Deaf and Blind and maybe anyone else who have bow or spell can kill quiet from far shoot hobbo at top of stair and kill him too. Jane say word, 'co-or-din-ate'. All over quick. Then we go up stair. You save big spell for big hobbo."
Gittik stabs at the grappled rat-goblin that slashed him as it tangles with its arthropod foe.
Roll = 4 + 11 = 15, and he also doesn't get his DEX bonus against me as I am not grappled. Assuming that achieves something, damage = 1 + 2 = 3. Sheesh, not my finest hour.
Gittik sees the rat thing drop and turn back into a goblin, thinks fast (for him), drops his kukri and, drawing his silver dagger, plunges it into the rat-goblin beside him.
Attack ratman 2. Drop kukri, draw silver dagger, roll to hit = 12 + 11 = 23, damage = 3 + 2 = 5.
....aaaah....put the shield down, and go at it with the bastard sword....
(Or get a buckler - you can attack 1 handed and you get the AC, or attack 2 handed, lose the AC but get the damage bonus. Thing is, with a buckler you can choose round by round since a MW buckler has no impact on your attack roll if you have one and a 2 handed weapon. So you can enjoy the flexibility of a bastard sword as a 2 hander or sword and board.)
Momentarily put off by trying to work out what Riese actually was saying, Gittik misses with his scimitar - natural 1. His second strike with his kukri is more telling - 18 + 10 = 28, damage = 2 + 3 = 5. Forget the crit, rolled a 3 on the confirmation roll.
Gittik's primitive senses alert to to the imminent danger. His eyes flick open and he draws his weapons pretty much at the same time. He rolls to his feet.
Rolled an 18 on the save. Crouching by the stove at J7.
Gittik moves over towards Beldan's position, but then trips on a root under the water and curses loudly in Goblin. He then splashes over to Belden and forgets to actually conceal himself, still annoyed about his fall.
Failed the Spot check. Hide = 1 + 10 = 11. Move Silently = 2 + 10 = 12. Put me in M19.
"Old Bag save you this time, dad," sneers Gittik. "With me, Pointy, Beetle Boy, Iron Rabbit S~$@ and, and..." - he looks at Beldan, and then away again - "and, er.... You all dead if you fight. Maybe I go kill hobbo for you, but not for you, for Kneecappers, so they do what they want back in cave."
Gittik yanks off his skull helm and throws it contemptuously on the floor in front of his father's throne. He sneers in Goblin:
Spoiler:
"Dad, either you are totally losing your marbles or that hideous hag you are f%*$ing must be a total demon in the sack. What is this s!*$-hole you are cowering in? Why are you not living in the caves where we raided freely, where the name of Bagrom the Underhanded was feared, instead of becoming the toady to some hobgoblin? How have the Kneecappers come to this? You tried to kill me in time-honourd fashion, but even then you failed. Are you becoming too old, too weak to be Chief? Where are my brothers - have you killed them too? Are you now so weak that you rely on the conjuring tricks of a smelly old crone who stinks from every orifice to keep the tribe in order?
"Has the time of Bagrom come to an end? Why should I pursue this warlord, when I can just kill you? Do you think those meatheads by your side, your swamp hag, will stop me? I will carve through them like butter, and then I will make you suffer. What do you have to offer, other than your severed head and genitalia, that will satisfy me? Enough platitudes, make me an offer or die!"
WTF? Step-mother? I've just popped in here and you have posted so much I don't even have a little black blob next to the thread. Sheesh - got a few hours reading ahead of me. EDIT - actually, it's not too bad, a couple of pages. You guys are slacking!
"Gittik! Me never strangle you. You trust Smeggy, right?"
In Goblin:
Spoiler:
"No - if Dad tries anything, I'll kill you and him. But he is also Chief Bagrom the Underhanded - I bet he has an angle, and he's probably hoping I'll get killed killing his enemy, and deal with two problems he has in one go. I intend to disappoint him."
"Me think dad on level in wanting hobbo dead - bid problem for dad, hobbo war chief. Him probably hope me die too when try to kill hobbo, but me stay alive so far, so maybe we go see him, see what him say. If him try anthing, Iron Rabbit Sh!t and Beetle Boy can kill many, many goblin quick."
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