Generic NPC Floozy's page

I can has full attack?

Shrill shriek of feminine happiness

OOOooohhh, he's adorable! Grabs the oversized cuddle ball and squeezes profusely

Ow! You've got a needle hidden in your hand ...

AND YOU'RE NOT MY MOMMY!

Waits for carborundum to make his ungawdly high DC Fortitude saving throws against the poison on said needle...

Mommy, I'm scared.

There there punkin... there there... patting carborundum on the shoulder gently

I have to say I am really liking Cap'n Monkamuck. He is a great improvement over Brutard, whose commentary would have been rather monosyllabic I'd imagine. Brutard smash! And Heal!

And I do apologize on constantly bagging on the character, but as a DM I totally understand and agree with his assessment of the character. And if you as a player could come up with someone as entertaining as the Captain, then I know my opinion has improved.
Cap'n vs Thing that killed the town, pretty bad odds I'd say.

Amella:

Filth flarn vulgarity profanity, get IN here Cap'n, 'fore I keel haul you as foreplay ...

And if he's not as ... limber ... as he used to be, you can always tie the beard to a light-fitting to stretch the little beggar into position.

Oh dear, I got sucked into the suggestive Dwarven kama sutra conversation.

Oh well now ... with an average lifespan of several centuries, one would think dwarves would have quite a body of ... lore ... on such matters.

Reference OOTS for an excellent example of this subject...

To my lady the Floozy...Dwarves have their 'stability' bonus for a reason. A trait normally only shared by races with more than two legs. *Wink*

Oohh, well now ... that shall make things far more ... exhilirating.

Girlish giggling

"Once you have your vitality back Owen, I think I am glad you are now dwarven ... at least you can't get me in the family way while showing a young woman a good time..."

'The Tomboy' looks down at her newly-minted dwarf without a beard.

"Well, that will depend on whether or not he has the right equipment any more ..."