Fyrissian |
Thanks for the updated PDF. I just gave it a quick look-through, and offer these editing critiques in the spirit of tidiness. Otherwise, I'm quite impressed with the utility of the content.
Page 5
Kingdom Building
"Regardless of whether the players conquer an existing nation or they start their own in an uninhabited land, it is now the players' job to run that nation.”
Page 11
Magic Item Availability
"(strike)Although these(/strike)These items tend to be of a somewhat random nature, as new items are found or created and enter the economy."
Page 13
"Town Commons (4 BP): A public venue for edicts, gallows, gossip, town criers, wanted posters and flee flea markets. +1 Loyalty."
Page 14
"Mine (6 BP): A series of tunnels following the lode vein (salt, gems, mineral),."
Page 15, 2nd full paragraph, last sentence:
"The monthly BP paid helps to spread the cost of the major festivals over an entire year and sponsors additional smaller festivals, which is reflected in monthly Loyalty and Consumption."
Accident, last sentence:
"The hex does not provide any benefit this month while the workers are mourned and new workers are being trained."
Bad weather: Dubious usage -- I can't be sure it's wrong but I find "torrential winds" troubling. I associate "torrential" with water, not air. I'd suggest you use "gale-force winds" or "damaging winds" instead.
Page 18, last paragraph, 2nd sentence:
"The players should (strike)be(/strike) learn the art of kingdom building at the same time as their characters".
Last paragraph, next-to-last sentence:
"As you reward what you feel are their good choices, make their mistakes have equal consequences."
Page 19, Mass Combat, 1st paragraph:
"When fighting a war, the PCs' nation will need an army at their command."
The Army Stat Block, 2nd sentence:
"Here are the various parts of the stat block and what they mean."
Page 20, Tactics
"Close Quarters. The army is used to fighting in tight spaces, be it narrow terrain, inside ships or in underground tunnels."
Page 21, Fortification Builders, last sentence:
"This resource requires a smith to be in the city this resource is added."
Healing Potions, last sentence:
"This resource requires a shrine, temple, or cathedral to be in the city this resource is added."
"Shields (1 BP): This army possesses shields to help guard against ranged attacks. Units equipped with shields gain a +2 DV against ranged weapons. This resource requires a mill (did you mean smith??) to be in the city this resource is added."
Page 23, Training Armies, last paragraph:
"The maximum size army a kingdom can (strike)get(/strike) train is limited by the kingdom's size and the buildings in a city."
Vassal Armies, 1st paragraph, last sentence:
"The PCs' nation is still required to fund the vassal army's Constitution."
Page 28, Game Mastering Notes, 4th paragraph, 2nd sentence:
"Allow your players the chance to express their concerns while running them through a sample combat or two until they get used to the rules."
6th paragraph, 3rd sentence:
"mileux --> milieu (or possibly milieux if plural)"
Page 31, Perceptive Explorer:
"You know how to find the best vantage points and are an expert at reading the lay of the land, allowing you to speed up your exploration.
Page 33, Cover Scent.
"The affected creature can only be detected by the scent ability at half the normal distance."
Page 40, Monks of the Green Leaf, second paragraph:
"A typical monk of the green leaf finds cities to be confusing and farms to be out of balance with nature."
Elemental Fist (SU), next to last sentence:
"Starting at 4th level, a monk may spend 1 point from his ki pool to make one additional Elemental Fist attack."
Page 41, Broach of Kingly Protection
The word you are looking for here is "brooch", not "broach".
Page 42, Statue of the Learned Scholar
Here you want "poring", not "pouring" (unless he's wetting the books down with something).