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Posts
 Recent Posts 
Here fishy fishy fishy... Shadow puppets beat sock puppets hands down. See, you're getting my intentions confused. I'm not trolling. I'm trying to make everyone see just how ridiculous this whole discussion is. It's very ridiculous.
Jinx! It is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
Kobold Cleaver comes across as a little strange (animal noises in a certain post come to mind), but I suspect he's the most well-adjusted of us all.Moo. MOO MOO MOO MOO! I AM VOODOO CURSING YOU! SPLORK, I'm a ZORK SPORK STORK! I'm with ye, O my droogies! NEVERMORE! NEVERMORE! From the Ed Sullivan Theatre in New York, it's Late Night with Henry Rollins! KILL THE WABBIT!
...unless said character is created for the sole purpose of causing the DM to see the error of his ways. I DEMAND YOU READ MY PROFILE! LOOK! I FLY!
I created Free User 9 (tenth-level advanced Keeper assassin) for an epic-level PbP because a.) the DM was a bit of a jerk, b.) didn't really know what he was doing, and c.) I thought it would be funny (it was). Based loosely on Jhonen Vasquez's Happy Noodle Boy and Invader Zim, the Free User was completely random, and used his shape-molding ability to completely disrupt gameplay. I eventually got bored, and had the Free User return to his hive on Limbo after about twenty posts. I then merely announced my withdrawal from the PbP. Meh. It was fun. Juvenile, but fun.
"PIGGY piggy piggy piggy. Piggy go MOOO! Now where was I? I I I I. It's fun to say. Just like groggy. Groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy groggy. VOOP VOOP ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! No way, captain! No way Jose! You can't say it, OK! So what was I saying?" 9 begins doing a little happy-dance right in the middle of the battle.
FRIEND!
Noticing Nym's return to reality, 9 turns his head approximately 235 degrees to face the elven cleric. "Hello. Someone set up us the bomb. Will you be my friend?"
"Come back, happy person of Faerun! I need brain samples!" 9 runs about 100 feet towards the creature, then stops. His arm shoots out like a rubber band, extending to cover the distance.
9's arm, now stretched to the width of a drinking straw, coils around the thing's neck, bringing it to a screeching halt. "Hi hello, come now tomato bastard! Now I help you peel the luggage!"
Suddenly, in the middle of the battle, a bizarre figure appears out of an impossibly small hole in the sky. The odd man is exactly six feet tall, and if anyone decided to weigh him, weighs exactly 150 pounds. He has uniformly gray skin, and is completely hairless. He wears a pair of green wraparound sunglasses, and is covered from the neck down in a slick, black, oily material. His chest is covered by an insignia resembling a hexagon with an eye in the middle, but it is in turn covered with another symbol, this one resembling a capital 'A' surrounded with a jagged circle. Wrapped around his waist is a spiked chain, with a dagger tucked into it. In his hand, he carries a large, empty bell jar. "Greetings nice people of Faerun!" says the strange figure, apparently oblivious to the battle raging around him. He turns to the ogre-thing, and extends the bell jar toward it.
He (it?) then turns to the rest of the adventurers and combatants.
9 grins, then pauses. "Who am I?" He then whips around with preturnatural reflexes, simultaneously whipping the dagger from his improvised belt and throwing it at the ogre-thing.
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