They were not that homophobic. "Confirmed bachelor" basically meant "gay" and "Boston marriage" was a term for a lesbian relationship. As for unmarried sex: Benjamin Franklin. Franklin was well known, even in his era, for the massive amounts of unmarried sex he had, to the point he ended up contracting every STD known to medicine at the time.
So it's not that those things were not done so much as they were not talked about. But that was true, for the most part, of anything sexual; "Don't ask, don't tell" was pretty much the rule for anything that happened in the bedroom. High levels of homophobia didn't really exist until the 20th Century in the U.S.
So, realistically, they would be shocked by how openly such things are talked about and how women are treated today... but not by them existing.
Pretty much what I said. Not just homophobic, though I'd count "proposing castration for sodomy" to be pretty damn homophobic by today's standards.But pretty much ok if you kept it discreet. Stayed at least nominally in the closet. Both for homosexuality and for heterosexual affairs.
Pfft. We declared sodomy "an imaginary crime" and abolished all laws against homosexuality in 1791. Eat that, Jefferson.