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Former Bandit's page

5 posts. Alias of psionichamster.


Or a way to advocate giving up a life of crime...

Let's hear it for working weekends!!!


I praise my corporate overlords!

Recently got to play in this AP (am currently running a table of 6 as well - now moving through the Varnhold Vanishing) and our Stag Lord encounter went awesome!

Firstly, the party consists of:

Jon, Human Ranger 2 (me)
Kurt, Half-Orc Fighter 2
Burbo, Gnome Sorcerer (Fey) 2
Jessie(?), Gnome Cleric (Erastil) 2

We're all Good, Erastil-following folks, out to right wrongs and settle this untamed land. Funnily enough, this is about the exact opposite of the party I am running...

After having thoroughly trounced Kessel and her mooks, we elected to head straight to the fort, armed with cases of "Plot Booze" and the password to get in. To top it off, we dressed up as bandits, with Kurt (and his +10 or so Intimidate Skill) as the "Badge Wearer."

Admission was easy enough, with the SL grabbing his hooch and proceeding to get good and smashed. We exchanged pleasantries with the bandits until Dovan spoke up. Kurt and he stepped aside, and with MUCH Hero Point use, Kurt managed to talk us into a contract killing of Akiros.

Now armed with the knowledge that all is not happy fun time at the fort, Jon and Kurt chat up Akiros. Some more hot dice (they loved us that night...later on, Jon rolled consecutive 20, 19, 18 on his few attack rolls) later, and Akiros storms out demanding satisfaction from his traitorous underling.

Seizing the moment, Jon and Kurt move into the SL's room, drawing Heavy Crit weapons (Heavy Pick and Longbow, IIRC) and preparing for the coup de grace. Our gnomes assist with Akiros and Dovan's "Duel," from which the rogue earns a shallow grave.

Burbo even managed to Sleep the last bandit as he sprinted for Beaky's cage release level. Overall, the 4 or 5 rounds of combat resulted in almost no deaths. Dovan dropped and was finished off by Kurt, one bandit fled (unfortunately for him, it was over the zombie-infested area...nom nom nom zombie chow...), and of course, Mr. Drunk and Angry himself went down to the 3" diameter steel spike through his temple.

All in all, awesome fun, plenty of tension, and with creative use of the "surroundings," ultimately perfectly successful. Even Auchs survived the fracas (only to be eaten by Beaky later).

Life's good here in Kamelot, I gotta give the bosses that.

They set up town right quick, and now we even got fresh produce, meat, and milk every morning down at the market. No one tosses the girls for their coppers, leastways, not while me or the rest of the guard are there, and they pay us right on time every week.

That Councilor Vicis sure had some weird ideas to start, but they're panning out plenty good. Little Molly down at the market has been batting her eyes at me plenty, too. I can't believe I'm actually nervous to talk to a girl, but hey, this talkin' and wooin' bit's still new.

Writing all this stuff down seems weird, too, sometimes, but Mizz Leveton was right; I put it down on paper and then I don't go off and do bad stuff. Man I owe her and Mr. Oleg a tonne. I gotta keep at it.

I heard tell they're almost ready to launch a new watch patrol, too. I been running and keep up with the Captain, lately, me and Topper and Silent, and I think he might pick me to be Sergeant. Nice as Silent is, he ain't gonna be yelling orders no time soon, and if it comes to me or Topper, that's fine. If he gets it, I'll just wait til next time.


Holy jeebuz, the bosses are plain crazy. It's not enough they go and traipse all over the map, looking for trouble. They find it, all the bleeding time.

This time, they didn't take none of us guards with em, and somehow came up against a 30' tall Owlbear. Just like Beaky, they said, but massive.

I know it must have been a hell of a fight, cuz the scary pink gnome, the headsman girl, she got deaded. She came back all small and pink again, but there's something off about her now. Not that she was all that normal to start with.

They put that huge monster's grape up over the gatehouse, and it's all everyone's talking bout in town. "Did you see it?" "Were you there?" "What's Boss Ganon like?"

Pfft...all these pestering questions all the time, no wonder they split as much as they do.

I think the Baroness is knocked up, though, leastways from what I could see when she rode in. All wrapped up in steel like that, it's tough to say, but I'd judge she's got something brewing up inside.

Oh yeah, speaking of brewing...we're supposed to be getting an honest to god dwarf brewmaster coming through soon. I just hope Councilor Vicis will get at least one good establishment open by the time he comes...maybe he'll stick around!

I don't know the date, and I don't care.

That lady Svetlana says I gotta learn my letters, and I gotta write what I do and how much we eat and s%$&, so I made her get me this book thing to write in. Figured, she already had em sent from the city. Shows me to open my mouth.

This month has been real weird. First, K chops Billy in half for talkin to that girl like that, then H gets himself dead by that chick on the horse. I don't wanna get on her bad side, or G's neither. At least G don't whack ya or make ya run serpentine while shootin at ya. Seem's ok, and the foods a ton better, too.

Funny thing is, last week we all woulda just clubbed Oleg over the head and had our way with Svetlana, and now it's like I'd feel bad about doin that. I ain't never forced my way, not really, and neither did the others here. I guess that's why they didn't just slit our throats when they knocked us out. I dunno, seems I owe em, somehow. Weird.

They gave us new names, when we woke up, sayin we were “reborn” or somesuch. I'm Ace, and Joe got Deuce. Jacob they're callin Trey now. I kinda like it, like a new start or something. At least writing is becoming easier the more I do it. The letters all make sense, and writing them all close and perfect ain't that hard. Numbers and sums make a lot of sense, too.

I don't think O and S feel safe around me, or especially if Deuce or Trey are around. Any time the 3 of us are doing when they had us dig up the middens...the two of em pull out quivers and make sure of their bows. Can't say as I blame em though, what with how we introduced ourselves and all. I just gotta make sure them blockheads don't mess this up, and we can get in on the ground level with this Ganon dude. At least the Stag Lord hasn't come this way, or K ambles her freaky way up here. May they both rot.

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