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The stuff here's serviceable I guess...
I'll give it a shake.
1. Take the tenderloin and freeze it in rough club-like shape.
2. Stalk someone you have it in for (arch-enemies, Paladins or the guy who's been using your parking spot..), until they are in a secluded location.
3. Knock them out with your tenderloin club.
4. Grease up your baby carrots with molasses, and shove them up the behind of your target, until they are properly stuffed with baby carrots.
4a. Apply knock-outs with your tenderloin club as required during the process of 4 (might get harder if your tenderloin club thaws, but keep on whacking!).
5. Write out a haunting message for your enemy with the rest of the molasses, detailing what your have done, that this is only the beginning, you'll haunt them forever...yada yada, you know, the entire villain speech thing.
5a. Sprinkle your molasses manifest with flour. It'll give a bit of Christmas feeling (and make it more easily readable, you enemy might be a bit cross-eyed from the repeated tenderloin clubbing).
6. Use the remaining flour to make a "flour-screen" to cover your escape.
Sure! interesting option...
We could take the Paladin base class out back, behind the woodshed, and put it down.
*Peers into the distance, spots the angry mob approaching!*
Sorry got to go!
*Flees under the barrage of insults, bottles, die and miscellaneous objects being hurled at him*
Dammit! Its not a medical condition! It's a lifestyle choice!Show it loud and proud Revolver!
*Looks in on his favorite Paladin thread*
*Sees things have reached Godwin levels*
Doctor Robotnik was right! Happiness is always so much more enjoyable when it's based on the misery of millions.
*Looks dreamy eyed out of the window*
Edit: *Throws a knife into the Thread, to see who goes for it first*
Mark Thomas 66 wrote:
The difference between Vengeance and Retribution is PR. Ragathiel's Paladins don't bother making it sound pretty. The work needs to get done, and bystanders don't have to like it.
I know! PR is so important.I'm still having problems getting the local paladins to understand that my camps are "Mandatory Public Works Projects" and not, as they put it, slave labour camps...
Well, I've never!
As for Whigfield...
*Wrings hands and laughs maniacally!*
it's clearly a veiled reference to the euro-dance 1995 smash hit by Me & My!
We Danes ruled the 90's!
Umbral Reaver wrote:
Do you mean like this? (was posted on the Starfinder Discord)
*Stops marching, puts on his monocle and puts his bubble pipe in his mouth**Critically appraises the artwork*
Valiant attempt! Cleavage is much approved!
However the artist needs to know, that true pulp-armors protection increases with the amount of skin it shows off!
*Resumes marching while humming "Now your a Man" by DVDA*
Lord Fyre wrote:
Lord Fyre wrote:
I, for one, approve of this message!
Bring back the bare midriffs! And the very low cut tops!
*Puts on his furry loincloth, furry boots and leather circlet.*
*Makes a protest sign saying: "Put the Pulp back in Pulpy women!"*
*Starts marching around in the thread*
How I deal with Paladins?
*Looks to left and right, before mentioning for the Goblin to approach closer*
Now, this isn't a foolproof method, but it usually does the trick for me.
First you go raid the local orphanage for cute looking orphans.
Then you put lay out the orphans as a breadcrumb-like trail, leading to a remote ally, where you lie in wait.
Once the paladin enters the ally, you ambush him, club him over the head with a lead pipe and drag him back to your lair for some misery-style fun.
John Napier 698 wrote:
I stand by my comment! It simply means, that this Ronan character is as avid a tabletop gamer as I!
Honorable Battle-Brother wrote:
The God-Emperor of Mankind approves!
*Now imagining Pharasmins, in bulky power armors, charging over a blasted landscape, guns blazing, towards lines of undead troops blowing away at with laser weaponry. A fleet of Warships pounding continents with seismic warheads, until the planet crust cracks and buckles. Billions upon billions wiped out as planet after planet is cleansed by the righteous forces of The Pact*
I, for one, welcome our new genocidal overlords!
(Hopes for Warfinder as the next setting ^^' )
Lady Ladile wrote:
Pfff...that's no name for a cat!
I knew this day would come...but every time it just seems so soon!
*wipes tears from his eyes*
Here you need this stuff for your future bloody endeavours...
*Hands Kile a sacrificial dagger, a book titled "Necromancy for beginners", and a coupon for some Rent-a-Thugs redeemable at Mooks-R-Us*
Now it's time for you to strike out on your own...
*Opens door and ushers kile out, giving her a pat on her behind, on the way out*
They just grow into Dungeon Mastering so fast these days!
*His left eyebrow twitches every so slightly, as he adjusts the rear sights on his heavy crossbow and takes aim*
*The cries of children carries in on the wind and Kjeldorn smiles to himself*
So wait do you eat the pine cones too implant them? actually I can't frankly think of any pleasant way for a pine cone to enter ones body.
Guess you haven't been a part of a smuggling ring, the experience "loosens" you up to these kinds of things...
*Clenches abdormen, which gives off growling sounds*
Pinecone Girl wrote:
I, for one, welcome our new plant Over-ladies!
*Munches on a Pinecone*
I'm just sorry we don't make for better plant beds, as the only place where we're moist and warm, doesn't get much sunlight ^^
Good Kjeldorn wrote:
Spineless as usual!
Elysium here I come!
So when, and who gets to decide, it's okay for me to eat my fellow man?I mean it can get a bit confusing when animals, fungi and minerals have gained sentience and developed culture, right?
Fox «Zorro» Clayton wrote:
That's me boy!
If you can't get the mother, go for the daughter! When mommy gets jealous enough she might even agree to share!
*Drains his bottle of Rum, spilling quite a bit out over his lower face and beard*
Good Kjeldorn wrote:
*Looks up with a maniacal gleam in his eyes*
But the thing is...
While, we where churning out these abominations in the 90's the whole of (western) Europe was dancing to our tunes...
That says a lot doesn't it!
*Shakes visibly from anger*
Cute!!! I am Not cute, as for Sissyl, I mean look at her!
I mean just look at that Evil aura...it so...
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