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Blue Slaad

Egg Slaad's page

93 posts. Alias of zylphryx.


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1 to 50 of 93 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | next > last >>

Angel Fish wrote:

Sadly for the slaadi, their eggs only work on humanoids. That's what d21 says. None of us are in any dager.

In fact, the slaadi are incapable of targeting us, since we exist in PF and they seem to exist only in D&D.

Except for the work of some of the player base that love us, for some inexplicable reason, and converted slaadi for their own games! We are truly chaotic as we exist in some realms and not in others ... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

<breaks out a correction pen and modifies the slaadi potential victims list to include fish and cobra and leech spewing celestials>


Potato Slaad wrote:
Swims into thread wearing a life jacket, a tattered pair of camoflage pants, and a helmet, carrying a 3/4 empty fifth of rum in one hand, and a roasted parrot in the other

mmmm ... roasted parrot ... Caribbean Turkey ...


Tossed Slaad wrote:
Spicy Nacho Slaad wrote:
Tossed Slaad wrote:
Well, we're nearing the time of year when I can wrap myself up as a present and egg happy children all over the world.
And what of their parents? Do you cheese their parents too? Ah, I can now imagine the screams of terror on Christmas Day.....

Yeah, I get them too.

Once, though, I climbed down a chimney in a Santa Claus costume with a big sack. Some kids came down stairs and were like, "It's Santa! He's bringing us presents!" Then I let the aboleth out of the sack and we took turns egging and dominating the kids. I didn't eat their cookies, though, because I wouldn't want to deprive the real Santa.

Wait, wait ... you didn't use the cookies as Santa bait in order to egg that old elf?


The Thing from Beyond the Edge wrote:

*The Thing from Bryond the Edge enters through the Rift*

Since I chose Crawling Chaos as my alignment, I thought it might be appropriate to post where there is some chaos discussion in addition to slaad discussion.

Wait a minute...that is orderly and rational.

No!No!No!

*The Thing from Beyond the Edge begins to scream and runs through the wall*

<secretly replaces the wall with a mass of marshmallow fluff ... let's see if he notices the difference>


Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
Gentleman Nurn wrote:
Tuna Fish Slaad wrote:
Food poisoning would be nice. Imagine the projectile vomiting in every possible direction. Loads of fun and even at the Macy Thanksgiving Day Parade I hear.
Last year I used the "Purple Worm in the Turkey" trick. Madness but that was funny. I'm hard pressed to top it, but that's a start.
TurDuckWorm?

Mmmmm ... turduckworm ....


Tuna Fish Slaad wrote:
Egg Slaad wrote:
Tuna Fish Slaad wrote:
It's too QUIET!flings chopped tuna
<marches through the thread, playing 17 different instruments and shooting confetti out of his ears>
17. Wow, that's a neat trick.

Oh that's nothing. This one time, at band camp ...


Tuna Fish Slaad wrote:
It's too QUIET!flings chopped tuna

<marches through the thread, playing 17 different instruments and shooting confetti out of his ears>


Spicy Nacho Slaad wrote:
Potato Slaad wrote:
shuffles into thread wearing a powder-blue tuxedo spattered with paint, and carrying half a roast duck in one hand, and dragging an empty beer keg

Just where have you been, Senor? Hmmmmm!

Points cheese gun at Potato Slaad and coats him in a layer of saucy spicy cheese.

Oh sure, get invited to a celestial rave and don't let the rest of us know.


No no, the answer to why frog creatures are the pinnacle of chaos is much simpler than all the explanations given thus far ...

lick a frog and things can get pretty freakin' chaotic ;)

most likely NSFW, btw ... just thought you should know ... though it probably would have been more chaotic not to tell you ... oh well, too late I guess.

Now, who's up for a good, ol' fashioned egging? Anyone?


Gark the Goblin wrote:
Phantom post.

Is there any better place for a phantom post?


Fruit Slaad wrote:
BRETHREN! OUR TIME IS NIGH! CHOAS IS CURRENTLY ROOLZING TEH BORDS! WE MUST TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS AND FOUND A NEW EMPIRE! JOIN ME, AND WE WILL RETURN ALL EXISTENCE TO THE PRIMAL CHAOS WHICH ONCE REIGNED!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!

Found an empire? Is that chaotic? Sounds kinda organized ... maybe even <gasp> lawful!!!


Chef's Slaad wrote:
Chef's Slaad wrote:

Double, double toil and trouble Fire burn, and caldron bubble

I smell a youngling this way comming

And here she is

charlottesweb.kindjeopkomst.nl

Somehow I imagined there would be more ... oh, I don't know ... gore.

congrats on the young 'un ... be sure to raise her as one of the next generation of gamers ;)


Tossed Slaad wrote:

Mmmm. We slaadi do have a nice flavor don't we?

*eats own foot*

Hey! I was saving that for later!!

*eats TS's other foot*

mmmmmm ... slaadelicious!


Chef's Slaad wrote:

Double, double toil and trouble Fire burn, and caldron bubble

I smell a youling this way comming

No no, it should be:

"Double double, toil and troubles
Bad heart burn and stomach bubbles"

Yes, I was left out in the sun for too long this last weekend ...


Tossed Slaad wrote:
Potato Slaad wrote:
Oooohhhh...big weekend coming up. I'm not sure how I'll manage all those picnics and BBQs. So much to do....

I would help, but...

I'd just be left out to wilt in the sun.

I cause all sorts of gastrointestinal chaos when left out in the sun ...


Cobb Slaad wrote:

<Pats ceiling with beaver tail>

Well, that's new ... is Cobb evolving or just morphing?


Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
How does that work? Do they stuff you into a muzzleloader, and then you pepper the guests with Egg Slaad (egging them all in the process)?

Well, pepper is a nice flavoring additive as far as I am concerned. And I do love egging guests, brides, grooms, etc ...


Snarky Poodle wrote:
When do we get new squeak toys?

<pops in from the Maelstrom and drops a large box labeled 'Squeaky Toys'>

Here you go, poodles. And as an added bonus, each squeaky toys contains an eg ... a surprise.

<pops back to the Maelstrom>


Puffy the Dinner Roll wrote:
Hmmmm, I need to consult a relative, Puffy the Cupcake. But yes, I'm sure if you put them on the cupcakes with frosting after you've had a dinner roll.

Frozen chicken nuggets?


Tossed Slaad wrote:
Chef's Slaad wrote:
Potato Slaad wrote:
Damn this rain! I had a couple nice events to attend today! Well, at least one of them was in a park that had shelters.

bummer.

here, have a hot dog.

it's probably not someone you know

We've been looking everywhere for you! We even made sacrifices to summon you!

And let us not forget the effigy that ...

<looks over at the rotting pile of what was once lettuce, tomatoes and bits of chefs assembled in the visage of Chef's Slaad>

um, nevermind ...


Potato Slaad wrote:

Sadly, we don't get as many of the old slaad around here anymore.

Bleu Cheese Slaad
Taco Slaad
Chicken Slaad
Caesar Slaad
Green Slaad
even the great Chef's Slaad.

sniff

I miss those guys.

Chicken Slaad is around here somewhere ... hiding no doubt.

He got to the party before me, so that age-old question is answered, I guess.


Auntie Pasto Slaad wrote:
Egg Slaad wrote:
Auntie Pasto Slaad wrote:
I know he's around here! I can smell the strawberries I put in his lunch!

We haven't seen him ... which is why we've built this effigy in an effort to channel him back to the Maelstrom.

<looks back at the wilting lettuce effigy>

Maybe we should animate the piecemeal chef ...

The leader should be able to find that lazy, good-for-nothing husband of mine. It's his turn to watch the eggs!

twirls rolling pin

We have a leader? How un-chaotic!


Auntie Pasto Slaad wrote:
I know he's around here! I can smell the strawberries I put in his lunch!

We haven't seen him ... which is why we've built this effigy in an effort to channel him back to the Maelstrom.

<looks back at the wilting lettuce effigy>

Maybe we should animate the piecemeal chef ...


Scrappy-Doo Slaad wrote:

{sneaks in, nibbles on Chef Slaad effigy} Ugh, it tastes like those... vaga-, vuger-, vegi-, those plant thingies. Needs some ham or boiled chicken egg or croutons... {wanders off for something more appetizing}

Augh, stop it! His big red eyes look like they follow me everywhere! {runs off}

Hmmm ... apparently it needs more Chef ...

<works more bits of the sacrificed chefs into the effigy, along with more croutons and even more eggs>

Still missing something ...

AH HA! Got it!

<reassembles a chef from various pieces and places it at the Chef Slaad effigy's feet ... making sure the piecemeal chef has a look of abject terror on its face and an egg implanted in its belly>

That's better.


Tossed Slaad wrote:

WHEEEEEEE!!!!!

*starts tearing apart chefs with reckless abandon*

<grabs bunches of lettuce, tomatoes, bits of chefs, croutons and some eggs and mixes them together, forming them into a vaguely Slaad-like shape, in an homage to Chef Slaad>

Hmmm ... the tomatoes as eyes does give that imposing look, and the green from the lettuce should turn more brownish in a day or two ... but I feel there is still something missing ...


Tossed Slaad wrote:
Maybe we should make a sacrifice of some sort for him.

<goes off and gathers up a bunch of chefs>

You think these would work?

<checks the time>

Crap! We're missing As the Maelstrom Turns Out Of Control! We've got to do this sacrificing quick!!

Well, you know, quick and proper ... not just quick and stab-the-chef-drop-him-grab-another-repeat-process-in-a-mindless-fashion-un til-all-chefs-are-dead-with-no-regard-to-procedure kinda way ... though we ARE slaads ... do we regard procedures?

Ah, what the heck.

<starts sacrificing chefs in a chaotic manner>


<hands some popcorn over to Tossed Slaad>

Oh, the drama, the DRAMA!!


Tossed Slaad wrote:
I think the Maelstrom is a very romantic place for a courtship. I can't wait for the egging.

<sniff> It's so touching. <sniff, sob> Young implan ... love ... yeah, that's it, love. <sniff>


Scrappy-Doo Slaad wrote:
Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
Hey! Did my pinata ever get delivered? I've really been looking forward to mauling it. The doctor said it could really help with my depression.
Snarky Poodle wrote:

*drops the piece of pinata that was hanging out of his mouth*

Yap?

It looks mostly intact mostly. He could probably still maul it or hump it.

Hey, Auntie Eekster said there is a drug-addled doctor, well he calls himself a doctor, that outta have something to make CDP feel better.

There you are, son! I've been looking for you. There are several new Chaos balls for you at home, if you want them.

<looks around at all the poodles on the thread>

I'm glad to see you're making some, uh, friends, son. Be sure you leave them a gift for letting you come over and play. After all, we slaads do like to impreg ... implan ... share those lovely eggs of ours.

See you later son. Have fun with your new vict ... erm ... friends. :)

<pops back to the Maelstrom>


Jack J. Jackson, Beer Delivery wrote:

{drops off recently ordered packages:

1) a heavy-duty slaad spinner for Tossed Slaad

2) a case of mayo for Potato Slaad

3) a case of bacon bits for Cobb Slaad

and a pallet of croutons for all.}

And of course they forgot my relish ...


Tossed Slaad wrote:
Egg Slaad wrote:
Tossed Slaad wrote:
Egg Slaad wrote:

<comes running back into the thread carrying an insanely huge amount of stuff>

Alright!

<drops all the stuff and starts pulling items out of the pile>

I got water balloons to rust the Jacks, Lock Tite adhesive to slow them down, a couple of giant electro-magnets we can bounce them between, an Official Loophole to deal with that dang LAW-mower, a packet of Sea Monkeys, a case of high octane rum spiked with sulfuric acid, some bananas, a water cannon, a copy of Play Poodle to be used as bait, two hundred gallons of Round-up and a ...

Hey, where'd everyone go?

We were just about to have a picnic. Glad you showed up!

Woot! Water balloon fight!!!

<throws a water balloon at Tossed Slaad>

You got me!

*throws a watermelon at Egg Slaad*

<watermelon splats on Egg Slaad's head>

Ouch! Mmmmmmm ... watermelon.

<throws bananas like boomerangs at Tossed Slaad and unsuccessfully tries to dodge the ones that miss as they come flying back at him>


Tossed Slaad wrote:
Egg Slaad wrote:

<comes running back into the thread carrying an insanely huge amount of stuff>

Alright!

<drops all the stuff and starts pulling items out of the pile>

I got water balloons to rust the Jacks, Lock Tite adhesive to slow them down, a couple of giant electro-magnets we can bounce them between, an Official Loophole to deal with that dang LAW-mower, a packet of Sea Monkeys, a case of high octane rum spiked with sulfuric acid, some bananas, a water cannon, a copy of Play Poodle to be used as bait, two hundred gallons of Round-up and a ...

Hey, where'd everyone go?

We were just about to have a picnic. Glad you showed up!

Woot! Water balloon fight!!!

<throws a water balloon at Tossed Slaad>


<comes running back into the thread carrying an insanely huge amount of stuff>

Alright!

<drops all the stuff and starts pulling items out of the pile>

I got water balloons to rust the Jacks, Lock Tite adhesive to slow them down, a couple of giant electro-magnets we can bounce them between, an Official Loophole to deal with that dang LAW-mower, a packet of Sea Monkeys, a case of high octane rum spiked with sulfuric acid, some bananas, a water cannon, a copy of Play Poodle to be used as bait, two hundred gallons of Round-up and a ...

Hey, where'd everyone go?


Jack Hammer wrote:
Egg Slaad wrote:

<pops back from the corner Chaos Quickie Mart>

He, look what I found at the Quickie Mart!

<pulls out cases of wrenches, prybars and pneumatic drills>

Come here Jacks, you look like you have some loose bolts. Let me adjust them for you.

Hey look! Egg Slaad finally found his nuts!

Silly Jack, nuts are for loosening.

<loosens all the nuts on Jack Hammer, takes all the parts and rearranges them, reconnecting them into a strange mass of appendages that clank and shake when it moves>

Hmmm, I think I missed a step in the assembly instructions. I have all these parts left over. Oh well ...

<tosses the extra parts aside>


<pops back from the corner Chaos Quickie Mart>

He, look what I found at the Quickie Mart!

<pulls out cases of wrenches, prybars and pneumatic drills>

Come here Jacks, you look like you have some loose bolts. Let me adjust them for you.


Hey Cobb/head/thingy, come out and play with our new friends. They're oh so much fun and all this wonderful chaos is just breath-taking.

<burps>

Oh man, I need to find some antacid. That greenish-grey slaad just wasn't quick ripe yet ...

<pops out to the corner Chaos Quickie Mart>


The Jackskunk wrote:
Salty Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:
dang hippeh wrote:
Stop the violence!!!

All the combatants, Slaad and Jack alike turn at once to face the hippeh.

You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

That hippeh looks a lot like a peasant.
It looks fat. *drools*

ugh, heartburn ... <burps and Greenish Grey Slaad comes flying out>

Oh that's better.

JACKS! SLAADS! Hold one second!

<implants an egg in the dang Hippeh>

OK, launch away!

man this thread is moving fast.


<pops in from the Maelstrom and proceeds to fling numerous Chaos spheres which burst open, releasing raw Chaos into the Jacks' thread, turning the Jacks' yard orange with small purple dots, covering lynora-jill in regenerating levels of Victorian era dress, animating the Jackapult which runs in circles in the yard as it chases invisible smu*fs and turns all of the Jacks' risque entertainment into DVDs of bad stand-up comedy and magazines filled with home gardening tips>

Hmmm ... out of spheres ... be back soon

<pops back to the Maelstrom>


Poodle Jack Slaad wrote:
General J. Debauchery wrote:

Chases Poodle Jack Slaad with LAW-mower.

Come here you fluffy rat! You gots to choose either Jack or Slaad in this war!

You forget, I can choose Poodle!

*humps General J. Debauchery's leg*

LOL! Point goes to PJS!

YES! Embrace the chaos!


Salty Jack wrote:
Egg Slaad wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

Oh well. Smu*f!

Runs amuck, but no one notices.

Great. I got the constipated smu*f

Look at all this light blue Chaos! <sniff> It's beautiful ... <sniff, sniff ... a tear rolls down his light blue slaad cheek>

<picks up one of the smu*fs, gives it a big sladdi hug and implants an egg>

Thank you little blue guy!

sprinkles blue salt on Egg Slaad. Starts nibbling on its arm.

Yummy! We smu*fs luv egg salad!

And we love you little blue carri ... vict ... guys too!

<picks up Salty Jack, gives him a big slaadi hug and implants an egg>


General J. Debauchery wrote:
Poodle Jack Slaad wrote:
General J. Debauchery wrote:

Runs around the thread commando style.

If that doesn't make 'em surrender fast...

Runs around the thread commando style pushing a LAW-mower.

And if that doesn't work...

Runs around the thread commando style pushing a LAW-mower and farting.

Looks like someone has a Chaos shard in 'em...

Chases Poodle Jack Slaad with LAW-mower.

Come here you fluffy rat! You gots to choose either Jack or Slaad in this war!

On the contrary! In this war we can choose one or the other, both or none. We are Chaotic after all ...


Poodle Jack Slaad wrote:
General J. Debauchery wrote:

Runs around the thread commando style.

If that doesn't make 'em surrender fast...

Runs around the thread commando style pushing a LAW-mower.

And if that doesn't work...

Runs around the thread commando style pushing a LAW-mower and farting.

Looks like someone has a Chaos shard in 'em...

I tried to warn him about running over Chaos spheres with a LAW-mower ...

<pulls out the photograph of General J. Debauchery wearing a tutu and running over Chaos spheres with a LAW-mower>


Jack Hammer wrote:

Oh well. Smu*f!

Runs amuck, but no one notices.

Great. I got the constipated smu*f

Look at all this light blue Chaos! <sniff> It's beautiful ... <sniff, sniff ... a tear rolls down his light blue slaad cheek>

<picks up one of the smu*fs, gives it a big sladdi hug and implants an egg>

Thank you little blue guy!


Hungry Jack wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

....bags of croutons...

You'd be amazed at what Hungry Jack® can do with a few bags of croutons.

<hands over a dozen bags of croutons>

Have at it! Hopefully it will be something tasty and chaotic. Mmmmm ...


General J. Debauchery wrote:
Egg Slaad wrote:
Jack Hammer wrote:

Looks like the slaads are just as fragmented as we are. What fun is a war when nobody shows up? Without the weeping, wailing, and lamentation of their women as we drive them before us it just isn't the same.

I'll reconnoiter. Maybe I can provoke them.

<pops in from the Maelstrom and starts flinging spheres of Chaos throughout the Jacks' thread>

Mwahahahahaha!!! Let the chaos be released!!!

<the spheres of Chaos explode with random effects, changing the Jacks' manly outfits into tutus, calling forth masses of lemmings who jump into the Jacks' pool and start playing Marco Polo, changing the paint job on the Jacks' house to a plum paisley print, turns all their liquor into kumquat flavored Kool-aid, etc>

Messin' with our booze?! That's low.

dusts off the LAW-mower and turns it loose on the chaos spheres

Haven't used this in a while but it should still work.

<takes a quick photo of the General mowing Chaos Spheres while wearing a tutu and jumps back to the Maelstrom before the inevitable explosion from cutting Chaos spheres with a LAW-mower>


Jack Hammer wrote:

Looks like the slaads are just as fragmented as we are. What fun is a war when nobody shows up? Without the weeping, wailing, and lamentation of their women as we drive them before us it just isn't the same.

I'll reconnoiter. Maybe I can provoke them.

<pops in from the Maelstrom and starts flinging spheres of Chaos throughout the Jacks' thread>

Mwahahahahaha!!! Let the chaos be released!!!

<the spheres of Chaos explode with random effects, changing the Jacks' manly outfits into tutus, calling forth masses of lemmings who jump into the Jacks' pool and start playing Marco Polo, changing the paint job on the Jacks' house to a plum paisley print, turns all their liquor into kumquat flavored Kool-aid, etc>


Jack Hammer wrote:

JH arrives on the scene, warpaint already applied. Throws water balloons at Caesar Slaad, a Sham-Wow at Slip 'n Slaad, and bags of croutons at the other slaadi. He follows up by stealing the incubator they use for their eggs.

Ambrosia likes the Jacks better than you guys!

Oh goody! War! Nothing spreads chaos like a good war! Or an evil war! Or a neutral war! It all results in chaos!!!

<grabs a chest full of Chaos spheres and heads to the Jacks thread>


Argumentative
Pseudointellectual
Snuffleupagus


Tossed Slaad wrote:
Potato Slaad wrote:
Wednesday already! Where does the time go?
Maybe we should just make it so that every day is a Friday.

Sure as long as it is a payday Friday.


The carrier sits
Unsuspecting of the event
Egg shifts in belly

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