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Count Haserton Lowis IV

Dr. Strangegnome's page

16 posts. Alias of Slaad-Barr.


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1 person marked this as a favorite.

Hmmm, young Tian adventurer finds a Control Metal (psicrystal), bonds with it... voilà! Bio Booster Armor Guyver (straight aegis or maybe aegis/soulknife/metaforge)


3 people marked this as a favorite.
John Kretzer wrote:
Uncle Teddy wrote:
...And I blame Cosmo for all three. What did I do to you to deserve this?

Deserve got nothing to do with it.

I Blame Cosmo for the fact that some people won't get the movie the above is from.

Well, that's just unforgivable.

I blame Cosmo for that too.


Dwayne Dibbley wrote:
He's best buds with Dennis Rodman. It must be b/s.

{meanwhile... SCENE: Sterile laboratory, with Dennis Rodman strapped to a chair} Ah gut, Herr Rodman, you're avake. You've made remarkable progress with your smallarms and sniper training, and re-honed your dormant unarmed combat training. Today should also bist your final Ludovico Technique session.

{nods at long narrow suitcase leaning in corner} Yes, Operation: Basketball Diplomacy will soon be a success. You might think your codename, Manchurian Candidate, ill-chosen; I assure you, it could not be more apt.

But enouv mit dem chit-chat... time to go to work...


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Sara Marie wrote:

justin: ...Grassy Gnoll Adventure Path...

christopher: Better than the gassy gnoll.

My next gnomish pirate airship will be named the Gassy Gnoll. And in place of cannons, it will be armed with bonnacons! SKYCRIME!!!!!!


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Ah yes, our country's secret shame: the miniature-fluoridated-sharknado-in-a-glass gap.


Vypre wrote:
Wah-wah wa wah-wahwah wahhhhhhhh....

{Propaganda-Canceling Earplugs cancel out all the pro-Kender nonsense, reducing it to indecipherable Charlie Brown's teacher sounds

Vypre wrote:
...in fact they practically blow out a vein in their heads if you call them a thief or pickpocket.

Herr Vypre, I vmust thank you von zay truly wunderschön idea! {begins drawing up plans for Anti-Kender Sonic Embolism Weapon}


1 person marked this as a favorite.

President Anklebiter, we must not allow... a mine shaft gap!


Short answer: Unless you have a life-threatening reaction (very rare) to the vaccine, the flu shot does not make you sick. Long answer.


4 people marked this as a favorite.
Vic Wertz wrote:
Crystal: Who's got a chicken to ride?

Chicken to Ride was a little-known B-Side during the short phase when McCartney and Lennon were experimenting with snorting poultry seasoning.


Aberzombie wrote:
Owls can't move their eyes from side to side.
Slenderowl or Batowl?
meatrace wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:

Your foot and your forearm are the same length.

My forearm is about 3 in. longer than my foot.
{makes note that meatrace is at least a 3rd level sorcerer with the aberrant bloodline}
LazarX wrote:
John Hancock's signature was so large because he was 25 feet tall.

That's only because of Ben Franklin's gamma radiation experiments.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Also, gnomes weigh 21 grams less than a similarly-sized halfling because of their absence of soul.

Corollary 1: Naturally ginger gnomes are one-in-a-billion rarities, as the divide-by-zero error causes them to implode their mother's wombs.

Corollary 2: Carrot Top is actually a spriggan.


4 people marked this as a favorite.
meatrace wrote:
Cliff Clavin wrote:
The Empire State Building is 31 stories tall.
Hey, uh, I think you're forgetting the whole "ground floor" and "13th floor" which aren't counted. I believe you'll find there are 33 floors or "levels". Just like Freemasonry!

He also forgot the Illuminati sub-basement. And really, how could he do that? It has it's own Orange Julius and Carvel's!

Mmmmm, Cookie Puss....


The Mad Badger is banned for shedding fur all over the Comfy Chair after we just had it cleaned.


Dances with Sneetches


{points at TriOmegaZero} Oooo, oooo! Over here, Minis Maniac... here's a extra tricksy gnome with the Tall template!


Dj-Bogie is banned because no one puts Gran in a comma.

Edit: Damn, now I have Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes stuck in my head.


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