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Doodlebug Anklebiter's page

Pathfinder Society Member. 6,456 posts (18,419 including aliases). 1 review. No lists. No wishlists. 2 Pathfinder Society characters. 27 aliases.


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Tinkergoth wrote:
Is one goblin really a crowd?

No, I s'pose not.

Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

My local comrade buddy is entering a contest on Michael Moorcock's website to write Eternal Champion fan fiction. I think. Apparently, you can compose your story on the website and then others (Michael Moorcock?) can comment on them as you write, but he isn't brave enough to try that.

At one point, my local comrade was planning a series of fan fiction about Stormbringer's sibling, Mournblade (right?), but that has been set aside for the moment so that he can write a story about Pax Tetchup, a transgendered communist Eternal Champion in a world ruled by techno-arcanists.

He has written seven pages thus far in which Pax has sex with a farmgirl, gets chased away by transophobes, and gets caught in the throbbing purple vines of the Tangled Mistress, Elemental Queen of Plants. In the first seven pages.

Was going through all my e-mails that I ignored while I was living in bliss with La Principessa and discovered that Mr. Comrade finally sent me something. Not much, and I don't think he'll ever finish, but, whatevs:


1 Dispelling myths

Paxshepsut held the quivering farmer's daughter in one arm while thrusting the other arm skyward to block out the light. The sky throbbed with a violent sanguine hue that pierced the think jungle canopy.
The meek and boyish farmers daughter let out a chirping screech as she rolled over to her clothes that clung to thick, purple throbbing vines, engulfing the tiny walls of the ruin they laid in.

" I knew he would discover us! Under six hours and we are hunted?!" Nearly dressed in her sandy colored ridding clothes standing she turned to Pax still rambling. "Ok not hunted but.. well maybe you." The flirtatious farmers daughter known as Liahme shot Pax a wry smile while lacing her boots. Or perhaps that you are not what you seem? mmm? Chemilar? More like Chem-il-her?" Liahme, fully dressed now she giggled and raised an eyebrow at Pax, hands on where her hips would be if she had any curves to speak of. She also looked skyward now with an odd curiosity." Although he usually uses his horns. Crow flares don't last this long."

Pax stood still holding one arm above to block out the , still squinting up to see. Straight, shoulder length, black hair made the finely tapered ears stand out on Pax's slender, olive tinted face. An elaborate golden torc with large hissing cat faces molded on both of its ends hung around the neck. A thin belt that favored one hip. The vine line belt was weighted with various small canisters and pouches. These where the only things Pax had on. With a sigh Pax's breasts heaved.

"Gender, as is perceived out here near the ring, in your farming towns, and in other places, has not been understood by the majority of our peaceful world for," she paused looking over at Liahme," well enough time to have cleansed society of such backwards notions. I say this out of love." Pax looked skyward again then fingered a small canister in the mess of them on the belt. " Oh, and that's Chief field Chemilar in charge of outer sphere development to you." Pax cracked a thin smile.

A tiny seed was plucked from the pouch. Pax stooped down and cupped a handful of water from a hole in the center of the stone altar they laid on. A massive tree had grown through the flat table of the alter, and water had collected at its bottom. Putting the seed with one hand in the cats mouth on the end of the Torc, pax splashed the handful of water at the same golden cat maw and instantly it sprung to life.

A sea of tiny green, soft brown and black tendral like roots streamed down over Pax's ample breasts, and then entire body, leaving only hands, feat and face naked of what appeared to a slack jawed Liahme as a second skin of roots. Then from the Torc a thicker layer of flowing green, liquid wood pooled in areas all over the body, shoulders and abdomen, arms and legs, leaving joined areas where the roots where still visible. The wood congealed to a dense greenish brown knotted mess. In the center of the flat now 'manly' looking chest an image seemed to be carved. Eight arrows pointing out from a center point, the one at the top and the bottom longer then all of the rest.

" Oh Pax," her eyes lit up and she pressed her body against her armored lover. "There is so much of this world that would have been lost to me if I had stayed in the east. Now I find my mind ever more hungry for what you claim lays back west." Pax embraced her with one arm.

" I fear my love that this has nothing to do with your caretaker the old bull. I have never seen anything like this in all my travels, nor in my years at university. In fact the only thing I can think of similar are from the works on the nature of the 5 spheres." She looked to Liahme and embraced her with both hefty arms, softly kissing her, closing her eyes and inhaling the dank jungle around them.

Pax's eyes opened slowly then shot open wide pulling Liahme behind the bulky wood armor. Deep in the hazy, dark jungle a light throbbed, illuminated the haze. Even the lagoon at the base of the ruin showed a faint crimson reflection. Liahme let out a high pitched "MEEP!", and Pax brought them both to the moss covered floor of the ruins. Off the alter in it's center, covering Liahme's mouth. Pax thumbed at a pouch on the belt when a tremendous howl came from the base of the ruin. It's origin hidden by the wall of the ruin facing the lagoon fifty feet below being destroyed and the stairs approaching being so steep zig zagged across the ancient boulder it was carved from. The howl echoed across the jungle.

The sound of clawed paws clacked across the stone plaza at the base of the temple, then quickly up the criss crossing stone stairs. Liahmes face turned cold under Pax's hand as she fell leaning against the massive tree barley breathing the words,"Roofdrak, Lord of Dogs".

"Impossible!" Pax harshly whispered throwing two handfuls of water at the Torc. Standing Pax glanced back at Liahme, a cold look while creeping toward the edge of the floor to peer over to the stairs below." If whatever it is, has any power such as the mythic Roughdrake, we'd be wise to forget any innocence we had left."

Thick red streaks poured from the Torc with a sizzle, sloping directly down Pax's right arm. The red liquid covered the hand and clung as it seemed to form a crude ball around Pax's fist With a jolt, a thick plume of red shot out of Pax's fist holding place in the air. The entire red area contained to the fist and the long crooked blade that protruded from it where slightly glinting as it hardened to a single ruby weapon.

One last glance and Pax saw Liahme clamor up the ancient tree that was covered in deep green leaves and pink roses bigger then a human head. The clacking of the paws was near the top and Pax could hear panting and short barking sounds, almost like orders, as if it where a language. Fear overwhelmed Pax for the first time.

As Pax's sweaty face began to peer down the boulders edge something struck Pax's left eyes with such force that pax was thrown sprawled on the moist, mossy, stone floor head throbbing with pain. Pax pushed off the floor with both arms as a ribbon of blood pooled on the stone from a closed eye. Then Pax saw the three beasts stop panting at the top of the stairs.

All where clad in cumbersome armor of thick leather and painted steel. The black paint was chipped all over. It matched their beady eyes, and longer tufts of hair at the tips of their wolfen ears but beyond that they where covered in in thick white fur. They walked upright on two legs and held contraptions in their hands, but their arms and legs where still that of a dog. Their long claws on their paws clutched the handles and triggers of the noisy smoking weapons they held.

The three menacing hounds held the smoking weapons out in front of them. They appear as small bows with an arrow sticking from a small box of gears that clanked and smoked. Underneath, affixed to the box was a long jar of arrows, the heads of which seemed the size of a fist.

Tiny roots shot up from Pax's back, gripping branches, ripping Pax into the leafy rose tree's canopy in a flash.


Three stout arrows in a line drove themselves into the stone floor and wall as Pax flew up. Barking and yelping roared from as Pax breathed slowly, and was held still against a limb by the roots that also caught the rapidly falling blood from Pax's face. Roots gathered over the eye and then the bleeding stopped. A small disc of the wood pooled over it. Then silently Pax was lowered to the edge of the leaves, closer to the trunk of the tree, by the slowly moving roots. The hounds where milling about the area where Pax had ascended. They had a distinctive, almost ionized scent like snow fall. They sniffed the air with their snouts and whimpered a bit.

Vines reached down and then brought water to the Torc around Pax's neck as it was packed with a handful of seeds and brittle bits. Pax extended the left arm and crouched with the legs, hugging the tree with the bladed arm as the smaller vines fell dead to the floor and pool below. Like an arrow, gnarled stalks sprout from Pax's palm tipped with wobbly sacks, hurtled towards the dogs. The sacks the same sickly green as the stalks.

Before the hounds could turn the sacks had exploded on two of them the others hitting the wall. The stalks snapped from Pax's hand and then stood upright above the hounds like a tiny bamboo forest. Their howling, goo covered bodies plastered to the floor, the dogs writhed and their fur melted away, as did their flesh, organs and finally bone. The once clear sizzling goo now had a clumpy red consistency. As the last hound glared back at Pax the goo already hardened and sprouted short, thin, black, grass on the pool that was the other two dogs moments ago.

The last white hound ruffled it's black tipped ears and let out a roar of blood lust that sounded to Pax like "Demon!" and it ran forward. Pax let out a scream and jumped at the howling dog, vines from arm joints reached ahead and grabbed at the hound as it ran. A vine around the hounds left arm tug the beast a bit to the left and as the two met Pax's ruby blade sheared off that left arm as Pax rolled to the far side of the room.
"Owww owww owww!" The beast howled as it ran on the floor in a circle, squirming in the widening pool of blood.

Pax crawled over to the mostly pink beast in a few bounds. Straddled the yelping hound Pax had the vines encircle the hounds snout dampening the howls to muffled whimpers. Scrapping the hefty ruby hand off the ground Pax sliced most of the skull off in one movement leaving one dead beady eye and ear looking up. Covered in the monsters stinking innards, sweating and panting, Pax's good eye began to dim and then went black as Pax collapsed on the dead myth.

Synergistically weirdiose enough, he's enrolled in a Children's Literature course this semester where he was assigned The Princess and the Goblin.

Limeylongears wrote:
Hello. My name's Limey and I've started reading Gor books again.

Crowd of Inebriated Perverts: HELLO, LIMEY!

Male Goblin Paladin 7/Teamster Steward 2/Inquisitor 1

Oh, sorry guys, I didn't see the recent activity. La Principessa's a bit high-maintainance, lots of five hour phone calls cutting into my internet time.

Anyway, yeah, I'm not coming to Total Con this year, alas. All discretionary income and off-time is gonna be invested in travelling to Brooklyn for quite a while.

I will make sure and check about my schedule next week for possible lunching, G-man.

Various FB Musical Interludes that I didn't steal from this thread:

The Jefferson Airplane--"The House at Pooneil Corner"
Husker Du--"I Apologize"
Jimmy Cliff--"The Harder They Come"
Jamey Johnson--"Women"

Hadn't popped over to Dangerous Minds in a while and, when I did, I discovered...

Big Black's penultimate show!


Yes, I think I did, and, if so, it was awesome!

EDIT: Old post

Took my mommy to see The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies because I love my mother.

Man, I wished I was high...

School sucks!

La Principessa had taken Sunshine out on Netflix but then didn't watch it for months and months. "I've paid enough to own that DVD," she complained, so I made her watch it and send it back.

Fell asleep about halfway through, but I've already seen it a couple of times.

Also watched some pirate movies over the past couple of months that I don't think I listed:

Captain Blood
The Sea Hawk
The Black Pirate


Been taking advantage of the morning to clean la Principessa's apartment. Man, she's a mess.

Anyway, found so many books in piles of teacher union bulletins and Victoria's Secret receipts, and I haven't made a list in awhile, so:

Books Lying About La Principessa's Messy Apartment, including Pamphlets, but not Mimeographs of Articles about Anthropology, Gun Control and Marxist Interpretations of A Song of Fire and Ice:

The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander
The Battle of Wisconsin: History and Lessons from the Working-Class Revolt of 2011 by George Martin Fell Brown
The Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State by Frederick Engels
Leon Trotsky and the Organizational Principles of the Revolutionary Party by Dianne Feeley, Paul Le Blanc and Thomas Twiss
Twentieth Century Interpretations of "The Crucible" edited by John H. Ferres
Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paulo Freire
The Ungentlemanly Art: A History of American Political Cartoons by Stephen Hess and Milton Kaplan
Feel the Fear...and Do It Anyway: Dynamic Techniques for Turning Fear, Indecision, and Anger Into Power, Action, and Love by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.
A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin
Monsters of the Market: Zombies, Vampires and Global Capitalism by David McNally
1984 by George Orwell
Dealing with Difficult Parents and with Parents in Difficult Situations by Todd Whitaker and Douglas J. Fiore
Reds at the Blackboard: Communism, Civil Rights, and the New York City Teachers Union by Clarence Taylor
Imagine Living in a Socialist USA edited by Frances Goldin, Debby Smith and Michael Steven Smith


The Princess and the Goblin by George MacDonald
Popol Vuh: The Definitive Edition of the Mayan Book of the Dawn of Life and the Glories of Gods and Kings translated by Dennis Tedlock
The Transitional Program for Socialist Revolution by Leon Trotsky
Arthurian Romances by Chretien De Troyes

and two fancy photography books:

Century: One Hundred Years of Human Progress, Regression, Suffering and Hope "Conceived and Edited" by Bruce Bernard
Cross by Kelly Klein

Comrade Longears may be interested to hear that yesterday afternoon, I sat by her side on the couch as she edited a paper on Lolita for a high school senior she tutors. I glanced over when she was looking at the bibliography and chuckled. "What?" "Hee hee! Olympia Press!" Led to a funny conversation and, later, to her explaining to her student that she had to cite the publication that she had at hand, not the edition first listed on the internet.

I don't know. I'm going back to New England tomorrow, she has to work the next two Saturdays, I can't afford to come down to New York every week. I'm thinking early February? Unless she calls me up, crying, and then I just drop everything and run to her side.

Listen, baby...

Finished all the ghost-stories in Kwaidan; all that's left is an 80 or so page essay about butterflies that I think I'm going to skip.

Found out from the tres cineaste Commandant of the Scottish Republic Army that there was a film version in the sixties made by a Japanese Marxist. I'll see if I can go find a link in a second.

Picked John Brown back up and he's about to go postal in the Swamp of the Swan.

Man, I'm glad I didn't live in the 19th-century. Sounds like the dude built something like two dozen houses for him and his ample progeny over the years. DuBois is the shiznit, btw. Really gonna have to sit down with Black Reconstruction one of these days.

Kwaidan (1964)

Freehold DM wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
The chicken place?! Did Freehold take you to Bon Chon???


Unfortunately I drank on an empty stomach, so I have only bits and pieces of hazy happy memories. I apologize if I ran at the mouth too much.

No, no, no, no need to apologize. It was probably a relief; I'm sure she needed a break from listening to me run my mouth too much.

Can't wait for the next meet-up!

One of my union brothers was telling another, Britishiznoid national, union brother about Danger 5 and I got to look very smart and cultured and awesome because I know about all the cool shiznit, but, in reality, I've never seen an episode and only know about it because I've read Comrade Dwarf's posts on it in the past.

Thank you, Comrade Dwarf, for helping me keep up my street cred.

Some nineties Britishiznoid Isles nostalgia belatedly brought on by dating a woman exactly the same age as I who did a couple of semesters in Ireland and looking through her cds:

The Boo Radleys

So What

Also, for reasons of cinematic romancin', Clark Gable

Back in New Hampshire, alas, although I'll be returning to Brooklyn on Thursday for 30-odd hours of commie-lovin' so I won't be hanging out with any Paizonians, alas(?).

Yes, he said you liked the waitstaff. I liked the mac-and-cheese wedges.

How was Italy?

But I can't listen to them until I get home, so, in the meantime, spurred by Drunken Nomad,

David Crosby--If I Could Only Remember My Name

which works just as well on a cold Friday afternoon.

Limeylongears wrote:
Savage Sons of Ya Ho Wa

Limeylongears wrote:
The Allah-Las

Visited New York's internationally semi-famous hipster snob record store, Other Music, and ended up with three records I'd only ever heard on the internet, two of them from Comrade Longears.

Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
The Psych Funk of Black Merda

"Evidently the woman who had given that mirror to the temple must have regretted the giving."

--Lafcadio Hearn, Kwaidan: Stories and Studies of Strange Things

School sucks.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

[Tries to get la Principessa to ditch the party we're going to and instead go see Slick no avail.]

It was great meeting Comrade Freehold at the gaming store and the chicken place! After we got home, La Principessa wondered why we ended up talking about porn so much. 'Cuz you were surrounded by studly men, baby, you were out of your mind. To which she responded with an arched eyebrow [redacted redacted redacted].

I love New York!

I actually haven't read any book uo page 55 in quite a long while. [Sheds a tear] Until today!

"And the mighty are great warriors and spend much time preventing anything that troubles their peace of mind."

--Fritz Leiber, "The Curse of Smalls and Stars," in The Knight and Knave of Swords

Which is nowhere near as good as the previous sentence which runs:

"Yes, the seed was well planted, and left to germinate in silence, might have developed as intended, but some gods, and some sorcerers too, cannot resist boasting and gossiping, and so by way of talkative priests and midwives and vagabonds, word of what was intended came to the ears of the mighty, including two who considered themselves well rid of Fafhrd and the Mouser and did not want them back in Lankhmar at all."

Both of which pale, IMHO, to the following, NSFW passage:

Spoilered for sexiness

* 11 *

At the same moment Cif and Afreyt, in the former's sauna, chatted together with even greater but more playful freedom. Afreyt confided with mock grandeur, "I'll have you know that Fafhrd compared my niplets to stars."

Cif chortled midst the steam and answered coarsely with mock pride, "The Mouser likened my a%%~ h$!& to one. And to the stem dimple of a pome. And his own intrusive member to a stiletto! Whate'er ails them doesn't show in bed."

"Or does it?" Afreyt questioned laughingly. "In my case, stars. In yours, fruits and cutlery too."

drunken_nomad wrote:

Baby Huey - Hard Times

wish I had this on vinyl.

Found the whole thing on youtube. Damn, that's some smokin' shiznit!

First morning in NYC. I'd send a private message with geographic details but, alas, my baby already went to work and I have no idea where I am other than in Brooklyn.

But I'm pretty sure that, other than more rutting, we don't have any plans for the week. I'll check in later today after she gets home and I can figure out where I am.

I don't know. I'm not really thinking beyond the next couple of days.

I'll be headed down to Brooklyn on Sunday. I'll be there until the following Sunday.

I am sorry that I will miss Celestial Healer, but I'd love to hang with Comrades Freehold and Fergie. I have no idea when I'll make it to Pittsburgh, but we did make a comrade/friend who lives out there, so it's not out of the realm of the possibilities this year.

We have various commie activities planned on the weekends and heaven knows what kind of shiznit's gonna go down in NYC this week, but I think the work week is mostly free, although I might be busy every day after school.

Goblins do it in sixth-floor Brooklyn walk-ups!

Huzzah! I will check in later in the week.

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I am almost 100% sure that I am going to be spending my vacation next week in Brooklyn with my hawt NY schoolteacher girlfriend. Any Paizonian comrades in NYC (and I can think of at least three) who would like to meet a commie goblin paladin, give a shout out here or in a private message and I will get back to you soon!

Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:
David M Mallon wrote:
Fugazi - "Waiting Room"

Woops. Wrong hat.

Treppa wrote:

Oh, right, children's books. I read The Wolves of Willoughby Chase while insomniac Tuesday night. It was great fun!

Kids books are the best.

I picked that one up recently. Joan Aiken, right? I'd've read it already if it wasn't for my recent reading slump. :(

The Princess and the Goblin is turning out to be nowhere near as racy as I had hoped. :(

I was working with this guy in his sixties, real Shrek-looking man-mountain dude and I started chatting him up and almost instantly regretted it.

He started telling me about some really nasty torture-porn novel he had found in the hallway of the apartment he had grown up in when he was 14. And he started telling me, in way too much detail, about all kinds of really gross stuff, scene after stomach-turning scene, dialogue, etc., etc. "Wow," I said, after fighting the urge to vomit, "That book must have really left an impression on you, huh? What was it called?"

He didn't remember.

Turned into a whole day, huzzah!

But I didn't get any more reading done...


Due to long waits for an oil change and a new tire, not only did I get a half day off (and counting, c'mon Town Fair Tire, hurry up!), I finally finished The Lost World.

Am supposed to give another class on The New Jim Crow sometime in the next two weeks, but I think I'll finally start The Princess and the Goblin. Might give me some ideas for seducing Female Comrade.

In the Mouth of Madness

Of particular joy to New Hampshire residents.

Monday Morning Jazz Brunch

Buena Vista Social Club

Am working alongside a kid fifteen years my junior who's an aspiring rock star. Everyday he comes into work and tries to stump me with obscure artists that he likes. So far, he hasn't succeeded. Yay me!!

Yesterday, he asked if I had ever heard of Tony Joe White.

Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
The real score, however, was a record by Tony Joe White. Records by this swamp rock maven (who provided comeback Elvis with his sound) are almost impossible to find in New England, so I was quite happy.

It was then my turn to be surprised when he knew about Bobby Joe Ebola and the Children MacNuggits.

The only movies I have watched recently were Captain Blood which I didn't finish due to boredom and Half-Baked which, of course, I have seen a million times.

[bubble bubble bubble]

And then I see that his other band, Thee Hobo Gobbelins will be opening for Jello Biafra on Black Friday.

I'm starting to get the sense that I have horribly misspent my life.

Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

Rally was lame, but afterwards, back at the pad, stream-of-consciousness youtube surfing led to some quite good videos by a schoolchum's band.

Bone Dagger
Sweet Shiznit of Christ
Poly which, apparently, was banned from youtube for a while.

Finally looked them up on Facebook, and, apparently, they opened for The Avengers earlier this month.

Went looking for more nostalgia-inducing nineties grrl-power indie rock (and I'd never even heard of Plumtree) but, somehow, stream-of-consciousnessly, ended up on a run of early seventies rock'n'roll:

The Flamin' Groovies
The Runaways
The Raspberries
Warren Zevon (alright, that one's '82)
T. Rex

2 people marked this as a favorite.
David M Mallon wrote:
Plumtree - Predicts The Future

I enjoyed that enough to go look for videos:

You Just Don't Exist
Scott Pilgrim*

Michael Cerra's fictional band in that movie is, I think, my favorite fictional band in a movie evah.

Unless it's Doctor Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.

*Weird hipster-cars-rabbit imagery going on, same as in that Ladytron video.

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