Paizo Top Nav Branding
  • Hello, Guest! |
  • Sign In |
  • My Account |
  • Shopping Cart |
  • Help/FAQ
About Paizo Messageboards News Paizo Blog Help/FAQ
Goblin

Don Juan de Doodlebug's page

2,286 posts. Alias of Doodlebug Anklebiter.


RSS

1 to 50 of 2,286 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

1 person marked this as a favorite.

I'm reading The Swords of Lankhmar in the second-volume of a two-volume semi-omnibus (no Knights and Knaves, so there will be no 55th sentence from page 55, I'm afraid.

In lieu of which:

"With a happy roaring shout that only he could hear, blood rushed through the Mouser's arteries toward his center, reviving his limp manhood in a mere moment, as a magically summoned genie offhandedly builds a tower."

Hisvit is hawt!!


BigNorseWolf wrote:
Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:
Kirth Gersen wrote:
houstonderek wrote:
Illinois, New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, also bad places to go to prison.

"Attica! Attica!"

** spoiler omitted **

Huh. I didn't realize they moved Pam Smart out of state.
Feeling better about those love letters not being answered now? :)

[Cries]


The Free NH Goblin Resistance Compound is not terribly far from the Goffstown Women's Prison. I had been in the habit of saying "Hi, Pam!" when driving by. What a disappointment.


Kirth Gersen wrote:
houstonderek wrote:
Illinois, New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, also bad places to go to prison.

"Attica! Attica!"

** spoiler omitted **

Huh. I didn't realize they moved Pam Smart out of state.


Not quite sure what a zagnut is, I look to Urban Dictionary.

Learn new things every day in the OTD!


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Comrade Anklebiter wrote:

Ah, memories...

I was living in East Boston with two guys I knew from UMass Boston, Nazi Doodlebug* and Omar the Former Arab Terrorist. Nazi Doodlebug told me about how his friend, Lord Blackmoore, had been reduced to homelessness and needed somewhere to stay. I had already been burned by Lord Blackmoore, but I have a weakness for strays.

I got a call from Omar the FAT the other day. "I've got good news!" he exclaimed. "What, are you going to marry that girl from ol' Blighty that you met on the Council of Ex-Muslims website?" "No, no, it's better than that, you'll never guess."

So, a couple of days later, Omar and I finally get together. "Blackmoore's dead!" he says, with a big smile on his face--Omar always hated Lord Blackmoore--"And I've got a bottle of champagne!" "Man, that's harsh," I chided, but then Omar convinced me that Lord Blackmoore would have wanted us to drink to his death, although, probably, not in celebration. Turns out Nazi Doodlebug had been idly googling the internet and discovered an obit for him from last year.

Anyway, we spent the night reminiscing about all the crazy shiznit we used to do when we lived with Lord Blackmoore.

The story that Omar liked the most, which he hadn't heard before, was when Lord Blackmoore started dating a woman who taught hip-hop dance at the East Boston YWCA. They were both into kinky shiznit, and, one night, Lord Blackmoore entreated me to film them having sex.

I refused. Not because of any prudery on my part, but because I had absolutely no interest in seeing him and his woman rut. He got angry and tried three or four different arguments to get me to comply. I told Omar one of the lines and he immediately posted it on Facebook as his virtual tribute to Lord Blackmoore. I'll get back to that in a second, but, later that week, after I had refused, I woke up one morning and found the refrigerator covered in Polaroids of his girlfriend performing fellatio on him.

Anyway, the line that Omar loved so much was, I think, the second or third line of argument that Lord Blackmoore employed to try and persuade me to play Director of Photography:

"What?!? You think you're a Bohemian and you won't even film me having sex with my girlfriend?!?"

[Pours one out in memory of Lord Blackmoore, may he rest in peace]


2 people marked this as a favorite.

"You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow."

Meow!

[Cries]


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:
Belly

King came out the year I left the family cave and no longer had access to MTV. By the time I got access to MTV again, they stopped playing music videos. Point, being, I'd never seen any of this delectable Tanya Donnelly vids:

Now They'll Sleep
Seal My Fate


Caineach wrote:
Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:

Apparently, there is a theory, true or not I couldn't say, that the ritual of the honeymoon comes bride kidnapping.

You pinkskins really are disgusting.

What I have heard is that the honeymoon is from the new couple being given a barrel of mead and sent away so that any child born was guaranteed to be the husband's.

The story that I heard, from a guy who was looking it up on the internet, so you know it must be true, was that the honeymoon was a vestige of kidnapping your wife and bringing her back after she was pregnant and there was nothing her family could do.

Like I said, though, I couldn't say.


The good news is that there is a Vice News article about D&D in my Facebook feed.

The bad news is, well,

#NotAllRolePlayers: A History of Rapey Dungeon Masters


You know, I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I can never accentuate the positive, why I am always drawn to the worst, ugliest aspects of you disgusting pinkskins.

But in my spare time from acting as a propagandist for Hamas, Putin, and international proletarian socialist revolution, I've been doing some disturbing reading on wikipedia.

Bride kidnapping

Apparently, there is a theory, true or not I couldn't say, that the ritual of the honeymoon comes bride kidnapping.

You pinkskins really are disgusting.


Woops. Jacobin was sued by Catherine Brennan, not Julian Vigo.


I can't say that I am extremely well-versed in trans issues, but there has been a spat between some radical feminists and trans activists for a while now.

And now, for your delectation: radical feminists vs. trans activists.

Transcending the Norms of Gender: The Left Hand of Darkness by JULIAN VIGO

A Trans Response to Julian Vigo: These Are Not the Radicals You’re Looking For by DORIAN ADAMS

I didn't even bother to read them because I'm not a feminist, but I also remember there also being a flap with Julian Vigo suing Jacobin. I'll go look for that in a second.

That being said, based on sci-fi references in the titles, I have to say, Vigo's Le Guinism totally smacks the shiznit out of Adam's tired Star Wars crap.


Sticking with the South Asian thingy...

Buddhist Fascists Attack Comrade Anklebiter's Sri Lankan Comrades


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Warpaint does Bowie

And I'm green with envy.


I really need to stop watching things on Vice News.

Bride Kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan

Although, "Indonesia's Transsexual Muslims" does look intriguing...


Yeah, I've read those two, also the one he did with Chris Hedges that got the latter accused of plagiarism.

The Lahiri stories are nowhere near like what we're talking about. Mostly gentle, domestic stories about dreams and love and family and so on.

They made a movie of one of her books that I saw but didn't read. It's got pretty much the same feel.

The Namesake


Krensky wrote:
Usagi Yojimbo wrote:
I'd be interested in what Trots would say.

Either:

"International Socialist Proletariat Revolution(TM)"

or

"Sorry man, I'm gonna be in here all night, try the other stall."

One or the other.

Hey, Alex, do I butt in when you're trying to pick up some hawt Paizonian tail?

F@@&in' cockblocker.


Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:
Shifty wrote:
Anita just got kicked aside, my new pin-up is here
While looking up something entirely different (Trotsky's archive of book reviews, if you must know) I stumbled upon this extremely interesting website: Anti-Caste: On Caste, Women's Oppression, Communalism, and Class Struggle in South Asia from a Marxist Perspective

I think this (post 2489, page 42) is the start of my attempt at Dalit Liberation threadjacking. There might be a few entries from before.

I've never heard of that Sacco book, Usagi-san, I'll certainly keep an eye out for it.

So, a bit of a confession. I was working at the airport, taking some courses at UMass Boston, six or seven years into my apolitical commie activist hibnernation, and I was assigned Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri. It actually got removed from the syllabus, but since I had already bought it, I read it anyway.

It's just short stories, I liked them, but things would pop out like caste and arranged marriages, and I'd go hmmmm, oh well, cultural relativism, right? And then I got back into leftist politics and that spate of headline-grabbing Indian gang-rapes came along, I started reading some, and I was disgusted with myself for ever having entertained such bullshiznit liberal PC notions.


Usagi Yojimbo wrote:
I'll read the Blatant Commie Propaganda shortly, but in the meantime, have you read Joe Sacco's story about the Dalits of Kushinagar? Caste and poverty. They appear to have left feudalism behind maybe ten minutes ago. The theoretical free market there doesn't seem to be working for them, I'd be interested in what Trots would say.

What? You actually want to hear what the Trots have to say?

Are you trying to seduce me, Usagi-san?


Don Juan de Doodlebug wrote:
NYT: Arundhati Roy, the Not-So-Reluctant Renegade

I am only half way through, but I think I am in love.


Spurred by your questions, Usagi-san, I cursorily googled some more. I didn't find any complete transcriptions of what she said but I did find this, which, I admit, doesn't make it look good for Ms. Roy.

Why does Arundhati Roy think Gandhi was casteist?

Synergistic weirdiosily enough, we have a third generation Chinese-American comrade with pronounced Maoist tendencies coming up to give a talk on the Naxalites next weekend.

Anyway, I am now going to link every other article that I find interesting in my search engine results. You're welcome.

Congress Leader Ghulam Nabi Azad Seeks Action Against Arundhati Roy for Anti-Gandhi Comment

NYT: Arundhati Roy, the Not-So-Reluctant Renegade

DN!: Is India on a Totalitarian Path? Arundhati Roy on Corporatism, Nationalism and World’s Largest Vote

Some weird site that wouldn't load while I was waiting, but the article has a pretty interesting title: Why Dalit Radicals Don't Want Arundhati Roy to Write About Ambedkar


Oh, a necromantized gender politics thread? What could it be about? Hobby Lobby? The Massachusetts buffer zone law?

Nope, another article on dalits that caught my eye.

Arundhati Roy accuses Mahatma Gandhi of discrimination


3 people marked this as a favorite.

Mmmm, Gregor Samsa porn.

It reminds me, back in high school, we were assigned to do a "creative report" on The Metamorphosis. I brought in my guitar, performed a cover and then performed a little ditty I composed myself. I don't remember the whole thing, but I do remember one line about Gregor's "anal pleasure."

I got a C. Meanwhile, my girlfriend at the time whipped up some crappy crayon drawings the day it was due at lunch and she got an A.

School sucks.


Pretty hawt for a sociopathic chauvinist...


I haven't done it in the street in longer than I care to admit, it's true. But I do shower regularly. Twice a day, these past few weeks.


Women's Liberation Musical Interlude


Judy Blume in the (Britishiznoid) news


Samnell wrote:
Hitdice wrote:


Samnell: Dude, you want The Hotel New Hampshire; That's the Irving book (or movie for that matter; it's no wonder Rob Lowe's life was ruined by a sex tape!) you want to read.

But...so many books! I just finished Elminster Must Die, which was fun. But I've also got Civil War Blockade Running on the Texas Coast (about blockade duties off the coast of France in the Seven Years' War, naturally) to finish. And a Lovecraft collection that I bought on the strength of the endnotes. And the new Laundry Files book is out...

I need more hours in the day.

Yes, but does Elminster Must Die hit the

Spoiler:
incest jackpot?

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The other thing about John Irving novels is they always have some interesting facts and lessons for the youth. In the past, I've posted about how The Water-Method Man taught young Doodlebug to keep his genitalia clean; everything I know about the hijras of India, I learned from A Son of the Circus; etc., etc.

This time I learned about marsupial anatomy. Spoilered for incredible vulgarity, obscenity, and the misclassification of hamsters as marsupials:

Spoiler:
Bucky had lately seized on the fact that marsupials have paired vaginas.

"Twin t&~*s! Can you believe it?" Bucky asked Homer.

"Right" said Homer Wells.

"Is that all you can say?" Bucky asked. "Don't you get it? If you was a hamster, you could f%~* another hamster with your buddy!"

"Why would I want to do that?" Homer asked.

"Two c~$#s!" Bucky said enthusiastically. "You got no imagination....."

[Later] "Look at it this way," Bucky whispered to him, near the end of class. "If Debra Pettigrew had two t@*$s, she might let you into one of them."


Doodlebug Anklebiter wrote:

You think you're the only game in town, youtube? Pfft!

Linda Perhacs--Parallelograms

A Short Film about Linda Perhacs


Hitdice wrote:
What about Melony, though? She was hard, like a melon!

I haven't been progressing very quickly in The Cider House Rules due to socialist activism and increased hours at work. They just got the news that Wally was shot down over Burma.

Anyway, I did want to register my disappointment that the best character in the book didn't even make it into the film, unless you include the one scene where the girl makes a pass at Tobey Maguire by following him around with her tongue stuck out. But I think Melony is supposed to be older than Homer.

And the screenplay was written by John Irving, which makes it all the more disappointing.

Vive le Melony!


I can't believe I've never heard of a "Boston marriage."


1 person marked this as a favorite.
thejeff wrote:
Not that there wasn't always plenty of unmarried sex, but it simply wasn't an openly accepted thing.

Yeah, you were supposed to do it on the dl in the slave quarters.


thejeff wrote:
Frankly, I expect far more culture shock would come from modern attitudes towards race, women and sexuality in general,

A couple years ago I asked the boards if anyone knew of any statements by the Founding Fathers on homosexuality, and Comrade Samnell said, IIRC, that Jefferson proposed reducing the sentence for sodomy from death to castration. I never independently verified that, though.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

I didn't even follow the Hobby Lobby decision, I was too busy pouting over Harris v. Quinn.

Actually, when it comes to female reproductive rights cases, I was a bit more touched by the striking down of Massachusetts' buffer zone law. Not that I ever really particularly cared for that law--No Reliance on the Capitalist State! For Mass Mobilizations to Defend the Clinics!--but one of the first things I did as a young goblin militant was attend a picket line demonstrating against an Operation Rescue confab at Harvard. A couple of months later, John Salvi, who, IIRC, was in attendance at the confab, walked into a couple of clinics in Brookline and murdered Shannon Lowney and Lee Ann Nichols. I did a lot of clinic defense that year.


Not today, Satan!

Spoiler:
Apologies if it's already been linked.


I just discovered Warpaint.

And if the women playing indie rock in their underwear doesn't strike your interest, may I suggest this?


Jailed dancer removes clothes, masturbates while in holding cell


Hitdice wrote:
What about Melony, though? She was hard, like a melon!

A bit further along and I come to "Lucky pony, huh, Sunshine?"

I throw the book down, run inside, grab Slaughterhouse-Five, and flip furiously.

"'What a lucky pony, eh?' he said. 'Hmmmm? Hmmmm? Don't you wish you were that pony?'"

Me? I hate horses.


Hitdice wrote:
What about Melony, though? She was hard, like a melon!

She pinched my pecker.


MagusJanus wrote:
I propose that, next time, we have a three-way

I'm always available.


Link


5 people marked this as a favorite.

And a hush fell over the thread...


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Mexican cocaine and Mexican hookers and I'm all yours, Comrade Dingo. I'll work at a wind turbine factory, I'll grow mangoes, I'll rough up counterrevolutionaries [pushes Citizen Magus out of the thread], as long as I'm to be fully renumerated, I'm ready for duty.


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
"Illustrate" rhymes with "castrate", finally revealing BigNorseWolf's true purpose here: His fixation with male genitalia.

Man, BeeNee (I just made that up, hope you don't mind), why didn't you just cut the crap and say so?

[Wiggles lasciviously]


Late addition to the Sex Mixtape

Lucinda Williams


Calybos1 wrote:

I'm more concerned with the race issue; why is it that all the sexy characters are human (or at least half-human)? Bring on the hot dwarven studs & babes! Lustful halflings! And, of course, Red-Hot Goblin Action.

Yes, please.

1 to 50 of 2,286 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

©2002–2014 Paizo Inc.®. Need help? Email customer.service@paizo.com or call 425-250-0800 during our business hours: Monday–Friday, 10 AM–5 PM Pacific Time. View our privacy policy. Paizo Inc., Paizo, the Paizo golem logo, Pathfinder, the Pathfinder logo, Pathfinder Society, GameMastery, and Planet Stories are registered trademarks of Paizo Inc., and Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, Pathfinder Campaign Setting, Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Adventure Card Game, Pathfinder Player Companion, Pathfinder Modules, Pathfinder Tales, Pathfinder Battles, Pathfinder Online, PaizoCon, RPG Superstar, The Golem's Got It, Titanic Games, the Titanic logo, and the Planet Stories planet logo are trademarks of Paizo Inc. Dungeons & Dragons, Dragon, Dungeon, and Polyhedron are registered trademarks of Wizards of the Coast, Inc., a subsidiary of Hasbro, Inc., and have been used by Paizo Inc. under license. Most product names are trademarks owned or used under license by the companies that publish those products; use of such names without mention of trademark status should not be construed as a challenge to such status.