Clinton Boomer's page

Hmm, if the landwalker symbiote works anything like I'm imagining, I could use that in Shackled City quite well...

Very cool! Let me know how it works out for you!

Ooooooh, super-sexy!

Ooooooooh, that's super-sweet looking!

I love it!

Working on an Ad for Wayfinder #2

I am not a graphic artist though I did stay in a Holdiay Inn Express last night.

Female player enjoying Merisiel the Elf Rogue: "I rapier him from behind."
Me (DM): "Rapier is not a verb."
Merisiel: "It is the way I do it, max sneak attack damage!"
Me (DM): *Checks notes*... "You rapier him from behind so hard his grandparents retroactively walked with a limp."

I peed a little.

Does anyone know if this one is named after 'China syndrome' from the real world?

Collected quotes from a long-running Pirates of the Caribbean & Serenity/Firefly-themed 3.5 D&D Iron Kingdoms/Ebberon/SpellJammer game which I ran.

My friend Dusty played the Captain.

Dave: "Wait, your robot's name is 'Apple'?"
Kyle: "No, I think you just always call him 'apple'."
Dusty: "For the last time, he's a Warforged Juggernaut, his name is Apollorax, and he outranks you on this ship."
Dave: " ... we have a robot butler named Apple?"

Dusty: "Where is the prisoner?"
J.B.: "Uh, yeah, he ... died."
Chris: "Trying to escape."
Dusty: "Into SPACE?"
J.B.: " ... yeah. Made a run for it."
Chris: "He didn't make it very far."

Mr. Hubris: "Well, this is pleasant."
Kyle: "For you, perhaps."
Mr. Hubris: " ... I wasn't talking to you."
Dave: "F*** this, let's kill him."

Kyle: "You two - seppuku contest! Right now! Your Emperor commands it!"

Corey: "Can you botch Pilot rolls?"
Dave: "No, it's a skill check. You rolled a one?"
Corey: "Yeah. Boomer, I got a thirty-nine."
All: (spit takes)
Boomer: "... Wow, you ARE a good pilot."

Kyle: "All right, that's it - I'm inviting this mother-f***er to DINNER."
Sam: "Oh, Lord. We need to TALK to him, not kill him."
Dave: "You guys kill everyone you have dinner with?"
Corey: "Statistically, yes."

Davian Kash: "RrrrraaaagghhhhaaaAAAA!"
Corey: "That's it, I'm out - I don't even need this job."

Sam: "Did you just rip his soul out of his body through his face?"
Kyle: "Only I would wield such power - only I would dare."

Dave: "Run, you idiot!"
Sam: "No! I'm staying!"
Dave: "If you die too, who will avenge me?"
Sam: "How about Kyle?"
Dave: "No, f*** him. He sucks. I want YOU to avenge me."

Dave: (gurgling blood) "Remember . . . "
Sam: "God, that's creepy. I'm gonna wake up hearing that for months."
Corey: "Yeah, I'm glad I'm not there. The last thing I need is nightmares of Dave's dying words."

Corey: "So where's the captain?"
Kyle: "Probably negotiating the trade of our ship for magic beans."
Sam: "Hope he gets enough for all of us."

Kyle: "And once your ship is completed, where will you go?"
Arrin: "Why, wherever we please, of course."
Dave: (whispered) "I want to kill this guy."
Kyle: (whispered) "If you think you can do it in six seconds or less, be my guest."

Corey: (whispered) "Give her the baby."
Jen: "Oh, my Jesus-F***, you're a monster! She's a demon-queen!"
Corey: "Come on. Give her the kid."
Kyle: "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that."
Corey: "Pretend whatever you want - but you should give her the baby. It solves, like, eight different problems."

All: "Dave, NO!
Sam: "Dammit, stand down! This is what he wants you to do! He's goading you into a fight!"
Dave: "Well, f*** him. I should kill him for trying to trick me like that - I rage and Power Attack."

Graz'zt: "I don't trust you. I hope the feeling is mutual."
Dusty: "Oh, trust me, it is."

Dave: "Demogorgon & the Abyssals - tonight only at the Civic Center!"

Kyle: "Wait, why are we doing this again?"
Dusty: "Because I said so."
Corey: "Great reasoning."
Dusty: "Fine. Because I'm the captain, and I said so."

Dave: "I'll just go heat this up, then."
Jen: "Oh my God - he's the COOK!?! He's a lizard monster!"
Dusty: "Yeah ... but he fights like hell."

Kyle: "I will bring peace to this system, so help me god, if I have to personally kill every Human & Halfling on every world, one at a time."
Corey: "I'm in."
Dusty: "I think he was kidding."
Corey: "I wasn't."
Kyle: "Neither was I."
Sam: "In that case, count me in, too."

Sam: "To my knowledge, nothing like this has ever been tried before. Ever."
Dusty: "Oh."
Sam: "No, that's a good thing. I'm really excited about it."

Dusty: "Don't tell Kyle that I said this, but if any of you find anything cool, take it."
Kyle: "If any of you steal anything, I am f***ing leaving you here."
Sam: "Don't worry about me, man - I saw Aladdin. Touch nothing but the lamp."

Dusty: "Well, I think we got out of that scott-free."
Corey: "You're an idiot."
Dusty: "I mean, you know, MOSTLY scott-free."
Kyle: "Are you f***ing insane?"
Dusty: "Fine. At least I got out of that scott-free."
Dave: "Me too. Good job, Captain."
Dusty: "Thank you, Dave."

Dave: (to Kyle) "Tell me that he's not throwing loose change at the bard."
Dusty: "I'm not."
Kyle: "Because there ARE no bards in this game. He's throwing coins at the Expert with ranks in Perform."
Dusty: "I don't like his act."

Dave: "There is no reason to be hostile. We need not be enemies."
The Demon-Lady of Change: "You struck me with your club."
Dave: "Oh."
Kyle: "She remembers. Kill her!"

Dusty: "Wait ... Arch-Cardinals aren't supposed to have daughters!"
Kyle: "Oh, you figured that out NOW!"
Dave: "That guy was an Arch-Cardinal? Oh, this makes SO much more sense now."
Kyle: "Fu-- ga-- DA-- ARG!"

One of us! One of us!

I'm actually using the name of this book and its companion PC Pearls as the names of two regular features in Level Up.

It's more like ... not ... a book. For crappy jerks!

Planning to run this on Sunday, and I'm pondering the paladin of slaughter. Given the new lay on hands, would a "death touch" (1d6/two levels, save DC 10 + half paladin level + Cha mod) make the most sense, with an option to spend two uses for a channel negative energy burst? Should I consider adding some negative status effects (the opposite of mercies) to the touch as well? Any other ideas or suggestions?

If it's for the Society: don't change nothing! The adventure is designed to run using pre-PFRPG rules, and the official rules on alternate Paladins have not yet been released and might never be.

Now, if it's for FUN: hells yes, death touch should inflict "anti-mercies!" That's awesome!

In fact, in one early draft of the the adventure, the Paladin of Slaughter actually had a unique feat, available ONLY to drow servants of Abraxus, to use their full Paladin level as their caster level & to gain one sorcerer/wizard spell of their choice as a divine paladin spell of the same level; the spell also gained the [Chaotic] & [Evil] descriptors when cast by them.

Heck, there was originally a much higher-level Paladin of Slaughter for the higher-tier of the adventure, who fought with sword, shield and scorching ray. This, of course, just ate up GOBS of word-count, and the saner head of the multi-talented & good-looking Josh Frost prevented me from doing anything too crazy for the adventure.

My advice is to make the Paladin of Slaughter a particularly tough foe; as other players have noted, depending on the party, the toughest single fight CAN be the swarms in Encounter 1.

Plus, there's a certain amount of wisdom in keeping the modules self-contained and limiting the buy-in requirements for the line.

The truth is, pulling off a 15th-20th level super-sequel to an AP (either ongoing or past) would be a real feat; the time & energy necessary to execute such a thing in a way that pleased both rabid fans of the AP and newbies-to-the-story would make it nearly impossible.

... also: James, you work too darn hard. Spending a Saturday editing my turnover of 'Infernal Syndrome' and also posting here? Get yourself a Snickers or something, man!

Wow. *sniff* My first game equation! And it didn't involve calculating CR! Thanks, Z!

Back from GenCon with two copies of the Pathfinder Core Rules - one for each hand!

Running over-the-top-awesome games for Tim Hitchcock, Adam Daigle, their cadre of super-GMs (including Shackletons and a certain Head-Eating Yoda) & many wonderful players of the Pathfinder Society has honed my adventure-fu to a razor edge, and we're moving forward on design, hammering that fluff into gold!

Next step is getting my copy of the Pathfinder Bestiary, which is when the real crunch-work starts!

Again, thank you to everyone involved!

Hmmm ... that's close enough to me that I could actually make it without violating my "No more out-of-state Cons this summer" rule!

Keep us posted, eh?

In the event of emergency, Sam Berry (player of Tordek) and I will drive back to Indy to fetch Paizonians. It's what we WereCabbages do, and I think that I'm technically closest.

Just light up the Cabbage Symbol if you need us, and shine it toward the Mississippi!

Oh, sweet! Checking it out now!

Thanks for the link, man!

Thank you, sincerely and deeply, to everyone who has jumped on board this project! We're going to have a great time - and this project is going to be killer-sweet!

Steve, I hope you're feeling better today!

I didn't want to say anything, but your avatar has been looking a little sickly for some time now - it's now surprise that the great news about Ashton getting on board this project might overwhelm you!

Take care - we don't have enough Russell to go around, if you drop on us!

Oh, cool!

Consider an email SENT!

What did Boomer do?

The adventure, originally designed as a one-off, 4-hour event in the style of the Pathfinder Society Scenarios, is currently undergoing another round of edits, some further development, and expansion at the hands of the aforementioned crew, plus Adam Daigle and Ashton "N'Wah" Sperry.

Once it's ready, you'll get to see it, guaranteed - for now, check out this thread on the topic:
http://paizo.com/paizo/messageboards/paizoPublishing/paizocon/hugoMidsummer sNightComedyGame

Ah, my Brothers Kikai, Frost, Shadowborn & Daigle! I had not realized that we were all of such holy leanings!

I, myself, am ordained the Right Reverend Clinton J. Boomer by the Universal Life Church, and I'm pleased as ... PUNCH to learn that we're a denominationally-inclined collective!

Perhaps we can get our next PaizoCon tax-free ...

I again want to thank everyone for their feedback! I'm glad that people have enjoyed this adventure, and I wanted to respond to comments about the difficulty of the Faction missions.

I thought that this scenario was a lot of fun, but during the two times that I ran it at Paizocon only two characters (total) completed their faction missions. I think the missions in this game were difficult on purpose...

By the way, [bDarian Graey[/b], I'm sorry that your GM rubbed your magical loss in your face. The power hidden behind the door is really meant to be lost, no matter what, but your instincts were good. Oh, those stupid paladins!

Hey, all! Just wanted to pop in and thank everyone both for their kind words and for their feedback - I'm a fan of this adventure myself (having been given the opportunity to play through it on two separate occasions at PaizoCon!), and I also hope to be able to answer questions & respond to concerns.

As to your most recent question, Doug Doug, specifically regarding the Chronicle Sheet and the omitted spoiler, the intention from the beginning was that the PCs simply can't get the prize. Having access to something like that would be game-breaking, at least in a shared world like the Society.

Of course, allowing access to an artifact-level secret like that in a HOME game would be up to the individual GM!

Thank you, Vic!

For those interested in discussion on this adventure, head over here!

GAAAHHHHHH!!!!! A signed Hardcover? ~swears~ I will not do the Gold Level Patronage! I will not do the Gold Level Patronage! I will not.... ~you hear an "URK?!?" followed by a strangled scream~

All I wanted was to make the world a better & more gonzo place!

I'm, like, a post-modern Dr. Herbert West ... himself, a post-modern Victor Frankenstein! Who was, now that I think about it, sort or a Prometheus figure or something, if I remember the Cliff's Notes correctly.

... anyway, uh ... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

AWESOME! It's even prettier in color & on my computer!

Awesome, Emily! Many thanks...

Which reminds me, thanks for the awesome rendition of Father Kinterkoff during the Convocation -- I'd be happy to lift a mug with you to Cayden Cailean any day (or whichever god Kinterkoff is pretending to worship at the time)!! :-)

It was a treat to get to slip him in to the Convocation - he's a bad man, and now he's CANON!

Also, I'd just like to echo kikai13 (and everyone else who said it!) with a strong and hearty THANK YOU!!! to Zuxius. If there was one thing about the Con that kicked it from 100% awesome to 111%, it was Zux!

... And I'm looking forward to doing illustrations for it, too.

I'm so totally doing an adventure where everyone plays as one of Pestico's "daughters" (the soulbound dolls) in a wacky adventure that I hope to lay out like a story book. I'd love to shoot some ideas at you for that, if you're interested.

This weekend was, in all sincerity, the best time I've had in years; it was, I kid you not, simultaneously the best anniversary and the best Con that a man could ever hope for.

Big thanks to EVERYONE!

A big THANK-YOU!!! to all of my players for making this adventure even more fun than I had hoped it would be!

This is gonna be a really, really fun game!

I'm definitely going to check that out!

Dude, awesome!

Thanks but no thanks. I know you can get it here at Kobold Quarterly, but you need to use PayPal and I prefer using my CC, and the shipping is cheaper at Paizo.

Is there a print version available through Paizo?

Yo, guys,

A printed copy of the book is only as far away as HERE, at Lulu.com!

Now, it's a b&w interior copy, which means that you missing out on the amazing, full-color art by Joanna Barnum, Jonathan Hodgson, Michael Jaecks, Pat Loboyko and Hugo Solis - with a little luck, Open Design might offer a full-color printed copy!

For those with a burning, burning yearning for some awesome-sauce Pathfinder fiction written by Paizo fans and freelancers, you can check out:

The Pathfinder Chronicler

... the coolest little fansite I've seen in a long darn time.

While you're there, I encourage you to take a gander at Road to Varno Parts 1 through 7. Fun is, in fact, had by all!

You guys are dorks.

Funny, adorable dorks.

Great stuff, guys!

I actually prefer the term "semi-demi-hemi-quasi-pseudo-micro-celebrity".

As I said to someone just the other day, yeah - I have over 2,500 subscribers on YouTube, which sounds pretty good.

But if I was hosting Late Night or had a show on CBS and I only pulled in 2,500 viewers? The company would very politely ask me to slit my own wrists.

I thank you for the kind words, Rone - and I, too, left a comment! Check out Monte's blog!

Strip bar? Last time I was in Seattle, the guy at the one bar I hit told me that I would have to kick down to Portland to find a good club.

He said something about a place called "The Lusty Lady", though ...

I'm with Clark on this one ... just saying "SMURF IT!" every once in a while feels good!

Basically, this competition gives me as much say as to who goes forward from here as it gives to Ed Greenwood.

And that's why democracy doesn't work.

*grin*

Doug, those are good questions!

And I can answer at least ONE of them!

1.) Are you going to have any help? ... Does Clinton Boomer already fill that position?

Anyway, thanks for the great questions!

*grin*

Seriously, though: I'd be a very bad choice to act as Josh's apprentice & assistant, as my first experience with organized play of ANY kind was at GenCon 2008. Now, I freaking LOVE what Pathfinder Society is doing - and has done - but I don't think I'd be much help to the Frost.

Glad to know that people dig what the Society is doing, and I look forward to much, MUCH more!

As a wise man once said:

"An artist does not seek flattery - an artist seeks only the truth. Of course, most artists would prefer that the truth be something along the lines of 'You are a genius & your work is perfect'."

Epic Meepo wrote:

Just don't let Boomer enter, lest we face the wrath of the Dancing Crackling Whirling.

I guarantee you that you are not ready for that jelly, monsieur.

OOooh! Yeah!

... actually, I just re-checked his stats. He's got a Dex of 24 - as far as I can tell, he'd actually be a really, REALLY good dancer.

For a thirty-foot tall creature made out of alabaster, I mean.

Nerrat Dei wrote:

Well, now I'm not 8, but I'm 9. My birthday was last week.

Nerrat Dei

congratz

and still more mature than most of us

He's barely TWICE as mature as me OR Logue - you give the kid too much credit!

Maybe close to, say, Father's Day we forumites can organize an informal, off-topic thread, friendly, low competition Kid RPG Superstar contest. ... We could get Boomer to judge but I heard he's evil.

If the opportunity arises to make some kids cry, well ... I'm in!

I really, really, really, like this idea for a two age group, kid superstar contest. I like a 7-10 year old age group (the name could be RPG Ministars) and an 11-14 year old age group (name could be could be Teenstars) Anyways, it's a great idea.

In all seriousness, I'd love to be a part of any kind of project like this - I was running D&D games at the age of 12, and submitting to Dragon Magazine not long after that, and this sort of thing deserves support & recognition.

Also, someone might submit a really elegant execution of the "summon shocker lizard in a can" effect that I've been rolling around in the back of my head - once it's property of Paizo, I can slip it into my next Pathfinder Society Scenario and get paid for words written by someone else.

And THAT'S the true meaning of Superstar!

On a related note, am I the only one who ended up dropping the first villain concept he came up with in favor of something else?

In fact, my final Villain submission from last year was the last in a long, LONG line of ideas, some of them (and no one ever belives me when I say this) a million times more gonzo than the Ul-Shadai ever was.

I look forward to seeing what you guys have got cooked up for all of us Superstar! fans, and best of luck to each and every one of you!

I'm fairly certain that 'gonzo' is a sub set and style of shooting porn as well.

Mmmmm ... porn.

Of course, the term has over 21 MILLION hits on Google. Compare that with The Beatles - who have a paltry 19,700,000 - and you can see how much of an impact Dr. Thompson had on our culture.

BTW, Lakesidefantasy, I dig your avatar - that's the very first image I ever got to send in an art-order for! Go Uskwood!

In the dictionary, under Gonzo, there are three pictures. A muppet who may or may not be a turkey buzzard, Hunter S. Thompson and Clinton Boomer.

NOTE: I'm actually a little choked up right now!