Clinically Depressed Poodle's page

Hmmm... now I want some Freedom Fries...

Mmmm....Freedom Fries

I ate a pear once, and it made me sick.....

Hey all of a sudden I've got this ringing in my ears. I'm probably coming down with something.....

It adds a je ne sais quoi to his odor! Give it a try!

Hey! Did you just curse me out in french?

Everyone should pee on the french chef.

Oh great! Another french guy. I don't like french people.

Pees on random old french guy.

Even old french guys are more powerful than kobolds.

A lot of people get annoyed with me....especially old French guys.

She'll probably kick me.....

or lock me in a cage.....

or bring me to the vet.....

or starve me....

The water will probably make the bowl rust, which will probably make me sick.

I had a porcelain water bowl once.....but it broke.

*sigh*

Valentine's Day! One of the most depressing holidays around.

I'm annoying? This from the Yappy King? Are you sure you aren't Jacques Chirac?

Go ahead, take it.

hands DLP his squeaky toy

I'd probably have choked on it anyway.

Snaps and threatens to give dreadlock poodle the "Jacques Chirac" treatment.

I started my day with a smile once.....worse day of my life.

Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:

I had a squeeky toy like this once....it was stolen by a Great Dane.....after he beat me up.

Now you are making ME sad.... DO you have the address of this great Dane?

Just great....now I'm ruining your life as well.....

I had a squeeky toy like this once....it was stolen by a Great Dane.....after he beat me up.

It's no use....I'm doomed.

That's OK, it probably would have made me sick anyway....

Zo, CDP tell me about zees feelings of inadiquicy you have been feeling. Vat was your relationship like wiz your mother?

Well, mom and I were never really close. She was a champion show dog, flying all over the country, constantly being judged. I think that's what made her so critical of me. I could never do anything right. I never looked puffy enough, never could get "French" enough, my fur was always a mess. One time, there was this big party with a bunch of other dogs, and mom pretended she didn't know me. She...she...

breaks down sobbing

For me - painful. Always painful.

Please! Take all the poodles! take them far, far away from here! I am begging you!

Nobody ever wants to take me anywhere.

No I gave him, Puppy Happy Pills, he was just alergic.

Story of my life. I'm allergic to happy.

....doggie downers.

That's probably what my therapist has been giving me.

Yeah, but the coals are probably out. Or maybe the food is all gone. Or the weather will turn crappy.

I was a puppy once.....and the bigger dogs always picked on me.

In fact, they still do.....

I had a lunch once.....but someone stole it.

Wow, I thought my life sucked ass. At least I don't have a whole thread dedicated to messing with me.....yet.

You are not French, are you?

sniffs bum

If that would make things worse, then yeah, I probably am.

It is, if you are not a clinically depressed french poodle.

Oh sure, just make fun of me.....everybody else does.