Chris Self's page

One copy is sitting on the shelf here in my office.

Chris waves at his copy of the Beta.

The other is sitting on the shelf at home. It's not with the rest of the hardcovers, because those are stacked on my desk for the weekly game. ...well, it's sitting next to older printings of the Core and the Bestiary.

Crimson Jester wrote:

Ross Byers wrote:

Liz: If Strahd came up and asked for postage, that's a little...different.

Ok I have to ask, why did Strahd and Postage come up...together???

If we give you context, that kills all the fun of this thread. :P

FTFY

Liz Courts: Ninjas versus hobos, GO!!!

Ummm... yah.

I guess my joke doesn't translate to the written word that well.

Hehehe. No, no. It works. =)

Patricia C. Wrede's "Dealing with Dragons" book was a favorite of mine when I was her age.

Ooh, yeah, that was a fun one.

That's not terribly far from the time that I started in on the Shannara series by Terry Brooks.

My recommendation: get her a library card and let her pick for herself. My parents gave me a rule of "only what you can carry by yourself" at the library. I don't feel that it ever failed me or them, giving me free access to everything there.

Crystal Frasier: Mmmmmm... fruit pug

Gary: pecans are not delicious fruit pugs

Robot Chris: true

I put a sales report of the previous Book of Beasts: Link

Elton wrote:

I bet i can sell 1,000 units.

Outdated number. Few books sell 1000 copies anymore unless your name is Paizo. I know of two 3pp Pathfinder books that sold more than 1000 copies. Tome of Horrors Complete and Book of the River Nations: Complete Players' Reference to Kingdom Building. I wouldn't be surprised if Psionics Unleashed sold of 1000 copies as well, but I don't know for sure. There might be one or two more, but they are only 1 or 2.

200-300 is a smash hit these days. 50 is more realistic.

I am by no means at liberty to talk about sales numbers of anyone. However, I'm going to say that Dale knows what he is talking about (in many ways). You should listen closely to what he has to say here.

Congrats...

No women? Not knocking the winners, but that's sad...

I'd just like to reiterate that judging is completely anonymous.

If you'd like to see more women represented, encourage the women in your life to participate.

(Rich Burlew is Rembrant compared to my work)

I'd just like to point out for the record: Rich Burlew is actually a very, very talented illustrator. He *chooses* to use stick figures for his comic. And he uses that medium very, very well.

If you want to see how well he does so, I encourage you to draw a series of stick figures doing the following:

Being sad
Being angry
Sleeping
Fighting

Once you've done that, then tell me what Rich does is easy.

Edit: if you want a cheat sheet for my above challenge, see this guide by the amazing Tracy Butler: http://tracyjb.deviantart.com/art/Lackadaisy-Expressions-193978013

Cosmo: I do have a suitable caffeine delivery substitute for anyone who has the stomach for it.

Robot Chris: if it's Pocket Coffee, no thanks, I have my own

Cosmo: It is

Gary does not want coffee cosmo found in his pocket

Robot Chris: I fear the Pocket Coffee

Cosmo: Or, as I like to call it: Pokefee

Robot Chris: Poke Coffee

Robot Chris: er

Robot Chris: don't poke the coffee!

Mark Moreland: but where'm I gonna find that extra money?!

Erik Keith: Cosmo has quarters in his desk *plots*

Cosmo: I also have a gun.

Cosmo: *nips plotting in the bud*

Cosmo: (granted... it's a nerf gun... but still.)

Erik Keith: No you don't. That's a Crossbow.

Erik Keith: Oh right, I was thinking actual weapons

Cosmo: I have one of those, too.

Robot Chris: I have a real axe!

Crystal Frasier: So does everyone in this office

Bump to keep the thread going

Heh. No need to bump. Rest assured, the staff has it bookmarked.

Graphic sex scenes aren't something we're likely to publish. I like a little adult content as much as the next gamer, but heaving bosoms and thrusting manhoods isn't really our business.

Does it undermine your credibility if I append a "..yet." to that?

So, James...

Does immunity to fire allow a creature to walk through a star? Sure, they'll obviously be fine in the areas where it's just superheated gases (and, actually, planet sized fire elementals playing in the corona of a star is a kinda neat idea).

But what happens when a creature with fire immunity travels into the areas where nuclear fusion is happening? Does it make a difference if it's a fire elemental versus a more corporeal creature that has fire immunity?

Crystal Frasier: Dammit, spellcheck! "Orrery" is a real word!

Sara Marie: orly?

Sara Marie: :D

Crystal Frasier: >.O

Crystal Frasier: That was so bad I literally felt pain

Sara Marie wrote:

cosmo: We'll burn that bridge when we come to it.

....

cosmo: err... cross that bridge...

Why would you want to cross a bridge that is burning?

He's just that dedicated to customer service.

sara marie: is this inappropriate for over heard thread?

blue chris wrote:

I was going to make a comment about me running around in a [redacted], but, meh, that kinda crossed the line.

.

.
ross: I'm all for shaming Chris

blue chris: Would you remove it if it were quoting you?

sara marie: hmmmmm

crystal: Yeah; that crosses the line

gary: if anybody posts anything related to chris running around in a [redacted] i will remove it... just on principle

Brilliant way to get around the limit, Sara. =) I'm impressed.

Holy thread necromancy, Mordicai!

For the record, we routinely look into other options for payment. I have a request out to our bank/processor right now about what our current charges would be for American Express. I don't have high hopes, though.

Gary Teter wrote:

I need to test something. So here's a poll!

That's some pig.

It's all tarted up!

Have you ever used any virtual tabletop software, as either a GM or a player?

If so, which one would you recommend? I'm leaning toward D20Pro, but it does currently lack one feature I really like, the dynamic fog of war, that Maptool and Battlegrounds both have. I have a bit of experience with Maptool as a player, and found it clunky and user-unfriendly, so I think I'm going to go with one of the non-freeware programs, but I'd be very interested to hear your opinion, if you've had the chance to form one on this topic.

I'm not James, but...I play all my games on VTT software. As far as I know, they're all clunky and user-unfriendly.

Liz Courts says that TTop is good stuff. But it's not Mac compatible, so it's not viable for my games.

Ever seen that thing where there's lal thsee csarmlbed rwosd talking about how cool it is that your brain can read them even when the information's incomplete?

Jiggy, you have to sramclbe them such that they have the same bginennig and ednnig lrettes that they suolhd. Otherwise it's gibberish.

Chris Self: robot meltdown

Cosmo offers booze...?

Robot Chris: I don't drink

Lissa Guillet: If you ever want to pick up drinking...

Chris Self: No time like the present

Crystal Frasier: I can help!

Robot Chris: fhewhkjtejwkgkj

I love Genzo's stuff. And the guy and gal dueling is really cool. :)

Yeah, I really dig the dueling one as well.

I'd actually love to know what artist that is.

And let me say that Paizo always pays, without fail, and often earlier than they have to. :)

You're welcome. =)

No, seriously, I try very hard to make that happen. Sometimes it's a, "OMG, it's already the 14th!? I need to pay consigners NOW!" and sometimes I get it done on the 2nd.

Vic Wertz wrote:

Amazon keeps 65% for many Kindle book sales.)

That is Disgusting! I am surprised the Publishing industry has not revolted against this yet.

There is pushback. You will note there are no Paizo books on the Kindle market. We're not so much rebelling as just not playing that game.

It's one of the biggest digital book markets out there, and if you're not there, where are you?

On your own site, selling your books your own way? =P

Liz Courts: [redacted]

Liz Courts: Nevermind.

Liz Courts ponders visiting HR.

Crystal Frasier: >.>

Crystal Frasier: <.<

Sara Marie: <.<

Chris Lambertz: D:

Sara Marie: >.>

Crystal Frasier: >.>

Liz Courts: ... :D

Chris Lambertz: ╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Sara Marie: i think we've moved beyond needing just HR

I bought stuff off the Paizo website until today. I bought my Pathfinder rulebooks retail, and all my other rulebooks used on the Amazon marketplace. I'm also not a big pdf fan (I prefer print copies), but Super Genius was selling pdfs really cheap today, and some of the stuff was stuff I have uses for. So I gave them some money, and got some very useful content for it.

This makes me curious, however. Where does the money I gave them go? Does Super Genius take it all? Does Paizo take some of it? Does the government tax it? The answer doesn't really effect whether I'd buy more (I would), but I'm curious.

So, quick breakdown: when you buy a Paizo product from Paizo, it all goes to Paizo. When you buy a Paizo product from anyone other than Paizo, Paizo was paid the wholesale price for the item when we sold it to the distributor. When you buy a non-Paizo product from Paizo, we either bought it from a distributor or we have it on consignment. If we have it on consignment, we directly pay the person who owns it when it's sold.

Depends on the publisher. Most publishers pay artists and writers as freelancers, a one-time fee paid for services rendered. Occasionally, you have a product that pays royalties, but that's rare in our industry.

So, I was working at this publishing company (some small company you guys have probably never heard of). I was working on the account of [redacted].

You wouldn't believe what this guy had ordered!
[redacted]
[redacted]
[redacted]

So, when we emailed him about it, [redacted].

Yeah...seriously [redacted].

Any chance in getting the pic of Kassata from the cover of Smuggler's Shiv added? The artwork is much more attractive than the one from City of Seven Spears. I believe Lissa is already using it even.

A Paizo staffer already using it puts it off limits. We're special snowflakes and get our own custom avatars. =)

Chris Self wrote:

I'm a really big fan of kobolds. I've been longing for a vicious, nasty kobold avatar pretty much since the day I started. This was the first one that fit the bill nicely that wasn't already in use.

Hmm. An accountant who's also a kobold fan... A particular webcomic springs to mind here, here, here and here.

Neat! I'd never seen those before. Thank you!

Reminds me of the time I called off of work and since I had used up all of my sick days I just called and told them I was dead.

They didn't buy it.

That's a pet peeve of mine. Why do people feel like they need to tell work why they're not going to be in? I just say, "I'm not gonna be in today/tomorrow/this day in a month." No need to tell them why. None of their business.

The Crimson Jester, Rogue Lord wrote:

Mairkurion {tm} wrote:

His new avatar scares me.

As long as I am not the only one.

The sign may say, "Master of Coin," but the avvy says, "Steve Martin the sicko dentist was transformed into a dinosaur, but he's still a wacko dentist." Oh, Momma!

Yeah, that kobold seriously wants to do bad things to you. That's why I love him so.

Edit: Sorry for the threadjack!

They don't have a con score because they are animated by necromantic magic, not a life force.

By giving them a con score, they are vulnerable to con based effects such as poisons. Does it really make sense for your skeleton or lich to be poisoned?

So, instead of having their vitality (read: hit points) based on life force (con), it is based on the power of the magic animating them and their force of will (cha).

Ooh! Please do! That might help convince the boss to let us have an office cat!

But, Sara...which of our cats gets to be the office cat? We both have super friendly kitties...

Jeff: Would you like some of my mediocre cookies?

Doh! I wasn't there for mediocre cookies!

I would recommend Hero Lab.

I use it to build pretty much all my characters and villains. It has a bit of a learning curve, but once you get used to it, it's really powerful.

Like any other option where you have many selections, Hero Lab will allow you to check a box for "Only valid items" so that it only displays things that character can take right then.

Give the free trial a go. I find it's very much so worth it.

Crystal: You just broke the cute center of my brain

His new avatar scares me.

In that case: It's effective!

And since he's a lich ... Might as well cover his hands in contact poison for even more fun.

...I'm stealing this idea.

Oh, man, Cheapy, it gets much worse than that. You could have images of polar bear babies being tickled. Everywhere.

On a more serious note: imagine that embedded in my signature. Right next to a kitten tripping and a puppy smiling at you.

You would get to see that every single time I posted. Over and over and over.

And everyone would get to do that.

So, yeah, no thank you. No "modern" forum things like sigs and embedded images, please and thank you.

You mean like pictures of puppies that haven't been adopted yet, right?

Oh, man, Cheapy, it gets much worse than that. You could have images of polar bear babies being tickled. Everywhere.

I want to see a Pillars of Salt spell now.

Via Jason's Google Plus:

Pillars of Salt
School: transmutation; Level: cleric/druid 9
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Components: V, S, M (handful of salt)
Range: close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Area: 10-ft-radius spread
Duration: Instantaneous
Saving Throw: Fortitude half; Spell Resistance: yes
This spell calls down the fury of the heavens, transforming all heathens within its area into pillars of salt. All creatures in the area that do not share one alignment component with you take 10 points of damage per caster level. Those that are slain by this spell are transformed into pillars of salt and cannot be raised or resurrected, without first casting wish or miracle. Creatures that save against this effect, but are still slain are not transformed in this way.

Chris Self: We just need to make sure we have the credit card duck in its row. =)

Chris Self: And that it goes sqwak when we poke it

Dylan Green: Wow. Not to bend the metaphor too much out of shape or anything...

Chris Self: Man...I have a creative writing degree. I can twist a metaphor like it's taffy.

Dylan Green: Is that a meta-metaphor?

Chris Self: ...maybe.

Dylan Green: You make English cry...

Chris Lambertz wrote:

To Vic, talking about a Scorpion pepper he acquired.

Pierce Watters "I might take a tiny tiny bite tonight. I'll send you a video about these guys who eat scorpion peppers in Australia."

"So... if you never see me again..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toJY4l71LMc

It was...interesting carrying those through airport security from Albuqueruqe for Pierce.

Sara Marie: NOOoOo

Gary: GAH

Sara Marie: i see that word

Sara Marie: and i refuse to click

Gary: do not make me shrivel

Chris Self tsks over Sutter's non-specific pronoun.

James Sutter: Obviously I meant Erik--we don't waste valuable pronouns on freelancers.

And now you see why we can't tell you about what you really want to hear.

The [redacted] won't let us.

Sara Marie wrote:

gary: just because people have gotten used to stupid behavior from [other websites] doesn't mean we should too....

lissa: No, I just don't expect most companies to care.

gary: paizo cares!

Due to my inability to read good, I now want a Paizo Car.

I can get you a great deal on a Pathfinder. Why don't you just step right over here, while I call my manager and see what type of deal he'll let me give you on this sweet ride.