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Chief Cook and Bottlewasher's page

474 posts. Alias of diana ratcliffe.


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TritonOne wrote:
Why do people have such a low opinion of the Maztica campaign setting in the Forgotten Realms world? It seems that it successfully synthesized Meso-American culture. Does Meso-American myth not fit well in a high fantasy setting?

I don't know much about the setting itself but for starters, I really dislike the name 'Maztika'. It's just ugly.

Phylotus wrote:
Has anyone gotten hired from this thread, so to speak? I think it's a good idea, I just wish to know if it has actually worked as of yet

At the very least, GMs can look at it and see which APs there's a lot of interest in.

I want to rewrite my monks' back story before putting them up for Serpent Skull, though.

If you just want to get started the you could do worse than the free module(s) We be Goblins (and We be Goblins too). I ran this for my 2 kids and their grandma (who had zero experience) and had enormous fun

So, I would say a plot hook hooks into a plot, not necessarily the plot (you can put in side plots). It's something to raise their curiosity and interest and get them to investigate, and it's resolved as soon as they've decided "go and look? yes or no". They depend heavily on your party and the circumstances.
So how urgently do they want to get to the ruins? Will they investigate the hut anyway? Do you want them to? You could add smoke rising from the chimney and the smell of bread baking, or stew. Or burning, or smoke billowing out of the window. Or pests of some sort raiding the herb garden, or whatever's likely to get them to look.
I suppose if it's to be a plot hook and not just 'notice this' there should be something to do. Is there an encounter here or will he/she ask them to do something or is this (just) a safe house and source of information? Similarly with the trail. Do you want them to investigate it? Put in as big a flag as you want in order to get their attention. (Out-of place footprints in the mud. Lots of out-of place footprints in the mud. Drops of blood. Drops of blood and an injured person. Or a dead person. Or a trail of bodies. Or...) Or just have the witch tell them what's there.
So whatever will get your party to look where you want them to and investigate what you want them to.

I could use more practical tips actually. Because my biggest problem is lack of organisation I suppose. Not preparation, but where did my dice just go? Where did the NPC sheet go that I just had in my hand? The adventure open to the right page a minute ago, now not. The note made on a specific skill (or spell or feat) disappeared somewhere. And I do try - I do sort them, check everything before starting as far as possible, but it feels like I have gremlins that hide things as soon as I put them down. So how do people keep stuff organised whilst actually playing?

DM DoctorEvil wrote:
littlehewy wrote:
Wow, this is tough. Pretty much every character is really cool. I'm searching through each submission trying to find reasons to not select people that aren't completely arbitrary...

Now you see how my chair feels. I have been answering PM's from non-selected players all day asking about what was wrong with their submission.

Sometimes, its what I like about others more than what's wrong with yours. That can be hard to express

Sorry :)

And thanks for your prompt and helpful reply. Because how are we to do better next time without constructive criticism?

On the upside, I don't have any difficult choices to make :)

Alessandria Moretti

Female Human (Varisian)
Monk (Maneuver Master) 1

Mostly complete. Still need appearance etc and fine tuning on background.

As a member of the ship's crew, Alessandria will feel a responsibility to see the passengers to safety. After that, I expect her to at least want to see to the party's safety. She won't want to lead, but will keep track of tasks that need doing, and who's doing what when.

Age 25. Starting age for human monk is 15 + 2d6, so putting her age on the high side leaves time for at least a couple of years crewing.

Please mark me as interested -I have reworked my Grippli maneuver monk as human (Varisian, still crew, boarded in Magnimar) but am still working on her back story.

Kilrex wrote:
James Jacobs wrote:

a weird mutant black bear with a 5 foot long stalked snout.

Stalked snout?

Perhaps long and thin like an elephant shrew?

Jade Regent 1 has a goblin village in the swamp. I'd expect them to go for some sort of stronghold though - maybe the Stag lord's fort in Kingmaker 1, or Varnhold (KM 3) has a fort I think

Not exactly piracy if I did a new build changing out the Grippli - I'd need an entirely different back story, for starters. :)
Strictly core races or Aasimar, tiefling, or elemental blooded as well (ifrit etc.)?

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Like this perhaps?

Favourite this for Serpent's skull

Then favourite from the avatar you're submitting, and remove it if you get a place? Doesn't take you to the avatar, but if they could be clearly labelled?

The Dragon wrote:
Hmm. I'd be more enthusiastic about this idea if you could edit posts. Right now wading through the whole thread to see who're applying for what will be something of a chore.

If people mark it as a favourite then clicking on the list shows them

Goldmyr wrote:

Chief Cook: A Shikigami is a strange choice, but it could work with a good backstory.

I've thought some more, and concluded that a kami's probably too tied to their ward. It would have to be carried around by someone, which is kind of cheating the idea, and it's a major vulnerability. I have a few other ideas. I'll see what I can come up with.

Hello? Are you still there, GM Ace?

What are your thoughts on a kami - a CR2 Shikigami, to be precise?

"Kami come into existence either as a spontaneously manifesting spirit or as the reincarnation of a particularly noble soul. Souls of creatures who died to protect an element of nature are particularly prone to returning to life as a kami. In this latter way, many kami arise from the souls of dedicated rangers or druids who perished while defending their homelands, or monks who spent a lifetime meditating on the serenity of nature. Once reincarnated, however, few kami remember any of their former lives, and their forms never resemble their former bodies. The rare kami who do recall their prior lives are the kami most likely to become more than mere guardians—these kami often take class levels and grow quite powerful."

It's a reincarnated druid - archetype Menhir Savant, at least 2nd level, so could tap into ley-lines, and whose ward is a ley-line marker stone. Will take class levels in this archetype as it remembers former skills. Recently formed - perhaps it was acquainted with Dion before.

Perhaps there could be an extra flag added - take this to a new/another thread?

Helikon wrote:
I think the sword scion trait should replace the dueling sword with the Katana. The longsword is fine, as the chinese jian is quite close to a longsword.

I considered that too, but the dueling sword is 20gp while the katana is 50gp, which is quite a step up.

So Pharasma wants to see them eventually move on, whatever their reasons

James Jacobs wrote:
Chief Cook and Bottlewasher wrote:
James Jacobs wrote:
Biztak wrote:
what happens to a character soul when he is turned into a zombie
Only a fragment of a character's soul or an echo is affected by the body being turned into a zombie. This is still an evil act to do to a soul, but it doesn't stop the soul from being judged or going on to its final reward. It DOES prevent the dead person from being brought back to life though as long as the body remains undead.
What happens if the corpse has been dead for a long time, perhaps decades (a skeleton I suppose)? Is there a limit on animate dead, in that it won't work if the soul has already gone on? Or even been re-incarnated?
It works the same. Animate dead doesn't create undead with minds; they're just animated. The tiny little fragments and echoes and reflections and influences a soul leaves on the mortal remains are enough to be perverted and warped via animate dead to create a skeleton (or zombie, in the rare case that the remains remain fleshy enough after that length of time).

So it doesn't actually impact on the passed-on soul if it's been gone long enough?

Another thing I was wondering? Do any souls come back to the Material plane as guardian spirits or ancestor spirits or anything of that sort?

1 person marked this as a favorite.
James Jacobs wrote:
Biztak wrote:
what happens to a character soul when he is turned into a zombie
Only a fragment of a character's soul or an echo is affected by the body being turned into a zombie. This is still an evil act to do to a soul, but it doesn't stop the soul from being judged or going on to its final reward. It DOES prevent the dead person from being brought back to life though as long as the body remains undead.

What happens if the corpse has been dead for a long time, perhaps decades (a skeleton I suppose)? Is there a limit on animate dead, in that it won't work if the soul has already gone on? Or even been re-incarnated?

2 people marked this as a favorite.


Bluephenix wrote:

Taking into account that there are no women on the internet... I'd be interested to know if its just mine and surrounding groups that have female players never to hardly ever roll-up stereotypically male classes. E.g. fighter, wizard, paladin, etc.

I've been through a couple of groups and frankly, all I ever saw were archery focused rangers, life oracle and witches.

As for myself, I personally was a wizard junkie for a very long time until recently when building a few NPCs for the game I'm currently running and have now gained a very high appreciation for Cleric and inquisitor.

My groups often lack a cleric, but thats usually to do with a misconception that clerics are only heal bots.

I don't usually find it a particularly harsh burden to prep my spells because I waste a retarded amount of money in making scrolls at early levels before I get the hang of predicting the DM.

Here and female :)

It's a long time since I've played (1st ed) but my first PC was a wizard, the second a druid, then an assassin (to see how it worked out my DM allowed her to be Neutral), a split class cleric-magic user (who worshipped Dionysus - if we were at a loose end, she went on a bender), and so on. As the GM mostly these days, I have to able to play any class. From playing a lot of PCs in crpgs (Neverwinter and Baldur's Gate) I've concluded that I lose interest without a spell list to play with. I've not played a pathfinder monk, though. Ki might be good.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Yuugasa wrote:

Haven't said much myself in a awhile but I am doing really well. I have basically run out of s!%!s to give if people know I'm trans* and while I haven't announced it to everyone I'm not hiding it either.

That's really good to hear :)

You don't often see 'Races from Advanced Race Guide are allowed': everyone's making the most of it : )

In game it works because less common races will be attracted by a diverse ship's crew. :)

What would be suitable favoured enemy choices for rangers, please?

Also, options for Noble born campaign trait- will you only be changing the family names, or the bonuses as well?

I assume brigand is unsuitable for such model citizens : )

CraziFuzzy wrote:

This is likely a result of a predominance of artistic sorts in this particular market - I for one, as an engineer, however, see absolutely no reason why flipping through pages of a physical book is in any way superior to pressing page up and page down on a keyboard.

So, while I understand where this preference is originating, I still have not gotten an answer to my query of what the player base would do if Paizo DID stop making the print editions. The only proposed answer was 'stop buying from them' - but I can't believe that a majority, or even a significant minority, would simply give up their hobby instead of simply making the transition to a digital format. Many 3rd party products are only available digitally, and yet they are still purchased.

Out of interest, what do you read your pdfs on?

While I'm comfortable reading small paperbacks on a kindle, I find it hopeless for the large hardbacks, especially when I'd prefer to see a double spread. As I don't have a lap-top and can't port my PC around the house (and my PC still doesn't show a full A4 page at a size I can read), it's print or nothing if I'm browsing anywhere else in the house.

Rankx wrote:

If you're listing animal companions, note that Rankx has a tiger companion. I wonder if tigers and deinonychuses get along?

Simeon Iskandar wrote:
But man, only two Humans, that it crazy.

Quite literally a motley crew!

mot·ley: adjective: incongruously varied in appearance or character; disparate.

Perhaps desperate also?

And while Rankx is human, he was raised by a tiger, so not a lot of cultural identification with race or nationality for him.

Since Serenity is less than 2 ft tall, she's more concerned with how they get along with her! The meetings sounded rather like this, perhaps.

I looked at some of the submissions and thought Oh, we're all crew. And then thought I'd check. So submissions so far...

Mia Zagato Female Catfolk Swashbuckler (Picaroon)
Lothor Tornaeu Male half-elf fighter
Alesha Chosaint Female Ifrit Oracle
Serenity Female Grippli monk
Travis Brogan Male Tiefling monk (boarded Shackles, but crew member)

Dengar, Male Beast Totem Barbarian (Mad Dog) with his Deinonychus companion.- get the cargo through
Chairo Anavah Male Gnome Bard- boarded Varisia
Simeon Iskandar Male Vishkanya Sorcerer- boarded Varisia
Dahren Hallea Male Half-Orc Brawler- boarded Mediogalti
Selkyon Male Elf Ranger- boarded Mediogalti
Garr Wyrmheart Male Suli Bloodrager - boarded Shackles
Rankx Male Human Druid - boarded Mwangi expanse

Eion the Iron Wing Male Strix Ranger(?)
Selvie Female Tiefling Alchemist
Ollurim Skull-Render Male Half-Orc Witch

Ruthgar Male Human Cleric (Evangelist) (campaign trait?)
Culder 'the Captain' Hargreaves Fighter
Tengu Druid

1 person marked this as a favorite.

There's an anarchic music quiz in th UK called 'Never mind the Buzzcocks', which for a few seasons had guest hosts. Two stick in my mind - I saw them close together and noticed the contrast.

In one, the host was James Blunt, and the other was Alice Cooper. I don't think there's any disputing that Blunt looks more attractive than Alice, but I found him boring: if he started to ramble, I wanted them to get on with the quiz.

Whereas Alice? Well here's a clip. I'd have been quite happy for them to scrap the quiz and just listen to him for the whole show.

Ollurim Skull-Render wrote:
Same here on both counts! Good luck, seriously, your character looks awesone.

Thank you :D

Here is Serenity with most of the crunch.

I haven't played in a PbP before. This is my second attempt at a submission. I hope I haven't overlooked anything. I will probably tinker a bit more with background and personality.

May I present Serenity, a Grippli Monk (of the Four Winds) maneouver master. (Assuming some co-operation with Travis, here)

Description: At first sight the smallest crew member - smaller even than a halfling - could be mistaken for a large figurine. A frog-like figurine beautifully enamelled in bright blue and black. The less well-informed can learn from any of several passengers or crew members that she (she? how can you tell?) is a grippli working her passage to Sargava, and that the brightly coloured skin indicates toxicity. Which goes some, but not all of the way to explaining the crew's respect for her. Perhaps it's that she can out-climb any one else in the crew, spending most of her time up in the rigging, where she won't be stepped on or tripped over. Perhaps that she can effortlessly carry her own bodyweight, small though that is. Or, perhaps, unlikely as it seems, she can, in fact, fight.

Because the little Grippli is a monk. A Monk of the Four Winds, in fact, like Travis Brogan, although it seems they weren't acquainted before she joined the crew. It's a somewhat comical sight to see her working the forms at dawn and dusk, sometimes alone, sometimes with Travis, her head barely level with his knees, her nunchaku an odd contrast to his chained kama. But when a fight breaks out between 2 crew members and a knife is drawn, her nunchaku is quickly whipping it away, and when one of them still doesn't back down she produces and throws an entangling net at him. It seems the crew's respect is warranted after all.

(I am assuming the crew have typical stats as the shipmate in the Game Mastery Guide.)

Serenity was barely out of childhood, just 12, when when she was captured whilst on a hunting foray, stuffed in a sack and carried far away from her tree-top jungle home. For a year or so, she passed through the hands of a variety of unscrupulous owners, sometimes in a menagerie, more often having her poison harvested. Eventually she wound up in the posession of an elderly thieves guild master, who released her, pointing out she had nowhere to go if she ran away. His equally elderly brother undertook to train her in his own calling as a monk of the four winds.

But when the guildmaster and his brother were ousted from their guild by younger members, she felt no loyalty to the new leaders, and took working passage on the jeneviere to return to the jungle at last, even if she has not the first idea of where her own tribe is from.

quick stats:
Grippli monk of the four winds maneouver master level 1
Str 10, Dex 17, Con 12, Int 12, Wis 14, Cha 10

AC 16 (touch 16, ff 13), HP 9, F +3, R+5, W+4
Melee attack +1 (nunchaku or fist or kama) d4, flurry -1
ranged +4 (javelin d4 or net or shuriken 1)

Traits: criminal (sleight of hand, hidden hand, Jenevere crew (survival)
Feats Agile maneouvers, Elemental fist, Improved disarm, Improves Unarmed Strike
Skill Acrobatics +7, Climb +12, Perception +6, sense motive +6, Sleight of hand +8, Stealth +11, Survival +3

Grippli: toxic skin (create poison 1/day), familiarity with nets. Darkvision

I'll improve and complete the crunch a.s.a.p.

I intend to take the feat Agile tongue at 3rd level, to use with disarm and sleight of hand.

Agile Tongue:

Your long pink tongue is capable of manipulating small items and even stealing objects.

Prerequisite: Grippli.
Benefit: You have a prehensile tongue with a range of 10 feet. You can pick up items weighing no more than 5 pounds, make Sleight of Hand checks, perform the steal or disarm combat maneuvers, or make melee touch attacks with your tongue.


Simulate it with the 'bleed' condition?

I'm interested (depending on rolls) in either a cleric of Nethys or a wizard, aiming at Mystic Theurge. I have no PbP play experience, though I'm an avid reader.

Focus Int or Wis 18, foible Cha 8
1d10 + 7 ⇒ (4) + 7 = 11
1d10 + 7 ⇒ (10) + 7 = 17
1d10 + 7 ⇒ (1) + 7 = 8
1d10 + 7 ⇒ (5) + 7 = 12

I make that a total bonus of 3 (shame)

I think they often nicked their fingers on the arrow heads. Short term wound infection was probably more of a problem for targets than slower-developing tetanus

GM Captain Trips wrote:
Chief Cook and Bottlewasher wrote:

In game terms, she will be middle aged (-1 to physical stats, +1 to mental stats), gain druid as an additional favoured class (but I'll probably stick with druid), and gain speak with animals at will.

Is this at all acceptable?

Age categories will not be used. That just leads to min/maxing. Sorry.

I do, however, have no problems with bleaching gnomes, and am very familiar with that aspect of their race. However, bleaching gnomes generally have lost a bit of their zeal for life (the very reason they begin to bleach), so the reason one of the bleached would chose to adventure would need to be explained. Understand, a bleachling itself would not be allowed at all. That would be a by-product of considerable in-character experience.

Thank you for your consideration. The point was the very different character of a bleached gnome, so I'll pass. Happy recruiting :)

I am interested in submitting a bleached gnome druid (I'm not moved to play the usual obsessive and excitable gnome).

'The Bleaching' is described in 'Gnomes of Golarion', p. 25 (Bleachlings are easily recognised by their subdued coloration and calm, dreamy manner. - rather like Luna Lovegood, if you're familiar with Harry Potter).

In game terms, she will be middle aged (-1 to physical stats, +1 to mental stats), gain druid as an additional favoured class (but I'll probably stick with druid), and gain speak with animals at will.

Is this at all acceptable?

This would be my first PbP, so I don't have a relevant posting history, but I am online most days, so expect to be able to post daily.

Aubrey the Malformed wrote:
As an aside, what Lars was doing seems to have little to do with the archery that was practiced by English longbowmen. Their main tactic was to fire rapidly, but to fire high so that arrows rained down from above in an area rather than specifically aiming. They didn't use quivers much either, they jammed their arrows in the ground point first when they wanted to use them in combat. But they didn't jump around much either but operated in groups to lay down heavy density arrow-rain. The arrows didn't have much problem penetrating armour, certainly not chain mail, as most of the impetus for the arrow on penetration was from gravity and the fall from the parabolic reajectory rather than from the pull itself. A lot of the development of armour in the middle ages was an arms race against the arrows - chain mail was pretty useless, which is why plate mail progressively developed. Lars might be more relevant for Asian composite bows and horseback archery but that was not the bag of the English longbowmen (which were six feet long).

and as a consequence, I've been told, were at high risk of contracting tetanus.

I imagine they would assess, run through (their own) checklist of simple/quick solutions (eg, find the corpse and provide funeral rites), depending on their own specialities, and inform the local church and what they've tried. It would be a responsibility for the church as a whole and for them to find an expert if necessary. All communities need midwives and funeral rites, so it's a widespread faith.

deusvult wrote:

How come an Ogre with 16 strength that can benchpress a schoolbus can't deal as much damage as a Halfling with 18 strength that couldn't benchpress half as much?

Contrast a small woman putting all her weight on your foot through a stiletto heel versus someone a lot heavier but with a wide flat heel? I know which I'd least like.

The entire print run? They didn't spot the problem in time to halt it before all the books were bound?

snickersimba wrote:

Put away the knives/axes/guns/maces/napalm/cattle prods. Wash the blood off of the tables and make sure that no one can hear the screams of the incompetent players from the torture chamber.

What? Im the ONLY one who threatens players with excruiating pain and death? It works! Your players NEVER forget things or get out of line.
After this, get her some dice, a pencil, an eraser and a baggy to hold it in. Get it in her favorite colour if you can, make sure the players have bathed regularly and are not currently bleeding from any injuries you may of inflicted on them for forgetting that bardic preformance.

Also, if you have any pets that are generally loveable and cute, put them at the table, if you don't, go buy a baby bunny.

Hmm. My generally loveable and cute cat likes to lie on the paperwork, and chase dice, and push pawns around, and is generally just a b@@@y nuisance...

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Tarantula wrote:
I'm just worried that the unchained classes will completely eclipse and replace the core classes. If that ends up to be the case, why bother with them as an option, why not errata the core book to fix the classes?

I expect they will for some people - those people who have serious problems with the monk, barbarian and rogue classes. I expect they won't for people who who find those classes ok. There seem to be a lot of people on each side.

A single Christmas special episode and then a long wait for the next season to start.

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Wiggz wrote:
Duncan7291 wrote:

I'm concerned about the introduction of new classes so soon after the release of the ACG. I'm concerned that Pathfinder is become bloated and creating such a load of information that new players or GM's may feel the learning curve is too high to become vested in this system.

What are yall's thoughts? (Note: I'm not complaining just to complain, this is a real concern of mine and I would appreciate some honest discourse on the subject.)

What got me into PF were the AP's... what has me reconsidering is the bloat.

Unfortunately I get castigated for even asking about purchasing more AP materials (such as hardcover treatment of the out of print and out dated AP's) while lately the bloat has begun to increase at an exponential rate. It's tough for me and others to hear there is no manpower for updating 3.5 modules while watching Mythic Adventures, the ACG, Occult Adventures, Unchained, etc, etc, etc all coming out back-to-back-to-back with barely a breath taken. Moreover, as these books come out faster and faster their quality suffers, from adequate play testing being done to simple things like typographical errors.

I'm honestly not sure what's driven Paizo to inundate their patrons with inferior quality materials packed to the brim with largely unasked for options. I'd rather that manpower be used to ensure things like the pawns actually include the appropriate characters (no Elyrium?) or the book covers themselves are in error. PFS was a great idea but as the special rules exceptions and addendums start to look more and more like a phone book and potential GMs are stretched thinner and thinner to keep up with all the 'options' they may be faced with, it's going to die of self-immolation.

Are they coming out faster and faster? I thought there was an established rate of 3 hardbacks a year (one of which is a bestiary/codex type book of monsters or NPCs for GMs). I don't think the upcoming unchained, occult, etc. is changing that.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
GeraintElberion wrote:

As I have spent most of the series complaining that it is too scary/gory for kids, I don't mind at all. It's supposed to be kids TV.

It's supposed to be scary kids TV - scaring kids is kind of the point. Like most other Brits, I have fond memories of watching it from behind the sofa or from under a blanket. If kids don't usually want to hide at some point, it's not scary enough.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

GM rolls on provided random encounter table. (I kept rolling rats and dire rats. Then an extra large crocodile)

GM Says: Boring,...boring,...boring: Ah, that looks fun...
GM Means: that looks fun...for me. (Evil laugh.)

3 people marked this as a favorite.

I'm gonna cut your heart out with a spoon

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