Capt. Gherk-Lick Picklard's page

That's why you never see a design for a Klingon coffeemaker: It's way too early to be upright and awake, you need a double raktajino to get going, you get the machine prepped to brew... and the etDaq machine swears at you before cloaking itself and your caffeine fix!

I just gave my neighbor a jar of raw honey in exchange for his dead parakeet. I got the honey for making a dress for a beekeeper's daughter. I need the parakeet's bones to make a necklace to give to a woman because she is fixing my antique cello. I got the cello as payment for juggling at a child's birthday party.

My life is a never-ending sidequest.

Say, you wouldn't know anyone needing a hundred gross of self-sealing stembolts, would you?

Orthos and thejeff at Tanagra.

Guys, I thought it was pretty obvious, but this is a Baba-ji level troll post.

Freehold, when the walls fell.

♫ "Good enough for me and my Baba-(ma)-ji..." ♫

Anxieties stampeding around your brain like Angorian Starbison? Worries multiplying like tribbles on Cialis 9? Thinking feels like fighting a gorn all day long?

Come on down to Ensign Gray's House of Distant Memories!

Here at Ensign Gray's, we specialize in probing the bejabbers out of abductees removing troublesome humanoid mental states from your cerebral cortex. Our methods are safe, proven, and effective. Don't believe me? Just ask--well, don't ask anyone. Because they won't remember. But trust me, it's totally safe, proven, and effective.

For just 11 minutes a day we can have those anxieties on the run! You won't remember a thing! I guarantee it!

This is not a guarantee. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. For entertainment purposes only. Probing may occur. Probing will definitely occur. So much probing. Holy s~~+balls you're getting probed. Buckle down and bite your toothbrush, kiddo. Ensign Gray's is not responsible for recurring nightmares, talk show appearances, or unexpected pregnancies (especially in the male of the species). May cause headaches, monolith worship, or doing weird stuff with mashed potatoes. Consult your doctor before beginning any probing memory wipe program.

And they have a punch card... every five visits earns you a free probing!

Wait- why am I excited about free probings?!

Edit: Hey Shonda Rhimes, where's my Gray's Anatomy hospital serial on ABC?!

for your application for your next job make sure you note down that you have had food safety training.

Agreed. It's surprising how many people wield pickles without proper trigger discipline, or who'll carelessly point the muzzle of a loaded baked potato.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to disarm a large 7-layer burrito.

<hic> Armok and <hic> Jalad at Tequila. Shakira, <hic> when the hips don't lie.

IMHO, Captain James T. Kirk is, by far, the best captain in the history of Star Wars.

THERE.

ARE.

FOUR!

MITES!

This would have been so much better if he performed a Picard Maneuver at the end on his coat :)

Picard is likely a diplomat now. Destroying everyone in front of him with infinitely blueshifted radiation is probably going to be taken as an extremely hostile act.

Hmmm? Oh, you don't mean that Picard maneuver, you mean the other Picard maneuver.

*savagely puts down anybody who puts any stock whatsoever in a certain conspiracy hypothesis, while simultaneously clinging to own belief in demonstrably untrue urban legend*

{sips pickle tea, Shakespearian gob-'splains definitions of "theory" and "hypothesis", getting both quite wrong}

And Friend Computer, you know that IDTheftVictim always tells the truth.

Will there be any mechanical effect from their "pleasure of choices", and if so any alternate traits for a more traditional sort of bug folk?

Some enterprising gnomes or gobs should fire up the printing presses/e-Book compilers to start selling Choose-Your-Own-Adventure books to the shirren.

Edit: Argh! Ninja'd!

If there was ever a point to adding a 'useless trivia' skill, this race would be the reason. :)

Mustn't. make. Cliff Clavin. as. a. shirren.

I think Ferengi might actually be closer to goblins.

That's insulting to goblins!

There was a Scientific American episode on PBS a while back about something similar.

No, the sentence just has some typos in its construction. Yaddithians are their own race. I should know. ^_^

(I also screwed up the number in my previous post - there are five races, two of which are reprints.)

There. are. FOUR! FIVE! races!

Happy Birthday, CY! May today be your best birthday yet!

I wonder if Golarion disappeared because somebody was trying to achieve no Humans . . . It just didn't work.

Humans, like kobolds, are harder to exterminate than cockroaches.

A rare PC race that speaks entirely in metaphors and allusions based on their cultural mythology. They have terrible language options and a penalty to Linguistics, but are good fighters, impose penalties to Linguistics checks used nefariously against them, and (saving grace) a large bonus to Diplomacy, Sense Motive, and to Bluff checks to innuendo.

An evolutionary offshoot of Goblins or Kobolds who can barely manage space travel, but have learned to be good at suckering superior spacefaring races into helping them "fix" their ships ("We are far from home, can you help us?"), only to take them hostage and start demanding more and more cool spacefaring technology ("Make us STRONG!"). However, they are not smart, and trickery of all sorts works well against them.

We gobs are the Junkions of Starfinder and smart enough to build our own tech out of the pinkskins' castoffs! O hai, do u talk memes, Much-mime-so-closet-such-cranky?

Well, it's already possible to launch Small ground fowl with a composite bow, so in the future I imagine archers will just use kobold "arrows".* As a bonus, the kobolds can just change their kobold helmet to switch out the payload... say regular pointy-tipped helmet for an explosive helmet.

* In the future, chickens are too expensive to waste as ammo, hence switching to the cheaper, highly-abundant kobolds, which are pretty-much featherless chickens anyway.

Gip wrote:

*raises hand*

Gip, Mighteist of Space Pirates™, asks that Goblins be a Core Race.

Motion seconded on behalf of the Imperial Goblin Space Navy (Someday We Might Even Get A Ship!)

Can't we all just clump onto a spelljammer helm or ion drive, and cling together like those rafts fireants make of themselves?

Ugh. Someone used bleach in the laundry, and now the red shirts are all tie-dye-y.

Kodyax wrote:

Babylon 5 had some interesting bits to it as did Farscape but when it comes to Space Opera I am a bit of a junkie.

If they take even 5 percent from Farscape, I will be a happy camper.

Hynerian bloodrager that eats all the crackers and farts frelling helium.

{sweeps Poog's leg}

Impostor!

Is everyone tired of this thread? I'll stop if no one else is still interested.

A petty of hobgoblins

A ______ of thylacines

A harem of jorogumos.

"Harem" bugs me. Perhaps a "kabuki of jorogumos"?

A bananas foster of monkey goblins.

A zoo of monkey goblins.

A _______ of Aasimar

Gob'dangit!

A silly putti of aasimar

A _______ of gillmen/gillfolk

I prefer my folly sauced with discretion and a bit of hollandaise.

Tea, Earl Grey: hawt!