Cantankerous Rules Lawyer's page

Tacticslion wrote:

Also: is there any way in PF1 that any of you know how to increase a spell with a range of 0 ft. to something above that?

Also, also, does a spell with 0 ft. range include you in its effect? What does that mean, and how does that differ from "touch"?

The Reach Spell metamagic feat.

EDIT: Added link, and if your oracle doesn't have it she's not playing right.

EDIT 2: And yes, going back to gran's question, are there any spells that have a range of 0 that aren't touch?

Have you not been paying attention to the Me Too movement? I'm pretty sure Reach spells aren't okay anymore.

NobodysHome wrote:

Man, it's good to be the grognard.

Got a question from one of our more helpful product managers. I don't know the answer.

So I just harassed a senior director who owes me so many favors it's terrifying.

"Here you go. I don't care how busy you are. Answer this, please."

And I can get away with it.

EDIT: Plus, pants are optional!

I *was* the grognard. Now I'm going to be the FNG again. *sigh*

Get back to work, Ron!

captain yesterday wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Why I got fired from my job as a Tarot reader:

"Ah, so I have drawn the Empress, the Queen of Discs, the...uh...Jack of Diamonds, a Blue Eyes White Dragon, a couple of Swamp basic lands, and a holographic Pikachu."
.
..
...
"I think this means you should play your Knave of Swords in defense mode, take a 5' step, and end your turn."

Don't forget to reroll your 5+ armor save.

And don't forget to call the 7 year old what a whiny little b%*+~ he is after you wipe the floor with him.

And then make sure they know that you'll be plowing their Mom after their bed time, and if they don't like it then they're grounded from Nintendo for a month.

Dude, I'm not an a@$#!#!. I'm just s+@% at reading tarot cards.

Then you're playing Pokemon wrong!

gran rey de los mono wrote:

How to fall down a flight of stairs:

Step 1.
Step 2.
Step 3.
Step 4.
Step 6.
Step 11.
Step 19.

I used different steps last time I did that. Hope I didn't do it wrong.

You did! Do it over.

So, WW just reconnected with a few of his old gaming buddies (middle school through college, so 1980s) on FB, and one thing led to another, and we all just had a zoom meeting where we agreed to run an every-other-week Zoom/rd20 Fate campaign that we're tentatively calling the League of the Extraordinary Magnificent Seven.

The premise is we each get to pick a favorite character from a random different fictive world, and we all get together for an urban high fantasy campaign. So one guy wants to be a Mandalorian, another guy's 19-year-old daughter wants to be San from Princess Mononoke, Teensy Valeros wants to be Ang from Avatar, Hermione wants to be, well, the actual Hermione, I want to be River Song, and we're all going to fight monsters together.

WW gets to choose which of our powers/attributes are temporarily disabled on the world we find ourselves in so the party isn't grossly overpowered.

One of the guys hasn't gamed in thirty years, and ours are the only kids who have even though they're the youngest, and one guy's wife has only played in the Realms (she loves Salvatore), so this will be interesting. Mostly this is just a kiddie pool campaign so we can splash about, get our feet wet, and get used to playing together.

Those don't sound like they're allowed by Pathfinder Society!

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I. AM. IN. A. [REDACTED]. LIVE. VIDEO. LESSON. ONE. OF. MY. KIDS. STARTS. SHOUTING. AND. I. AM. GOING. TO. PUT. THEM. IN. A. STEW.

Get them a puppy. Every time they start shouting tell them if they aren't quiet you'll take away their puppy.

This should give you 6 months of relative peace before they call your bluff.

We decided that the chicken is a bird of prey animal companion.

Of course, the proper way to settle this is a race across the country.

Logan: "The fart is a 1st level spell."

It's definitely a cantrip, there's no way Dave is only using that once or twice a day.

lisamarlene wrote:

Congratulations, VE!

Totally random: you're the THIRD "Yeah, parenthood is not for me" person I know to get blindsided by the news in the past month. One is a friend NH's age, Two is a militant feminist bisexual who ageed to buy a house with, but is refusing to marry, her male partner because somethihg something patriarchy.

PSA TIME, FAWTLERS: THE GUMMINT IS PUTTING SOMETHING IN THE WATER. DON'T SHAG FOR A WHILE UNTIL THEY MOVE ON TO ANOTHER PROJECT.

Asexuals ftw?

I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be asexual if you did ftw.

Just saying.

He tried to cast a silent spell, I saw him!

Points futilely at his copy of Ultimate Intrigue

There has been light snow in the south of the country. No snow here in the midwest :(

You're in the wrong Midwest then.

No, they can't! Not without very specific rules.

Anger. Rage. Sounds an angry, rage filled lion will make.

Can we get a FAQ on that.

My testicles did not explode today!

You're doing it wrong!

Puts on aviator goggles, turns on helium.

You do when they're a dwarven paladin with a constitution of 12 at 8th level.

Vanykrye wrote:

Tuesday Movie Night was Solo. We took the three kids plus one of their friends with us. It's really not a bad Star Wars movie. It's light and fun.

From what I've heard, that's what a lot of die-hard fans have an issue with: We loved Han Solo because he was a scoundrel.

Disney cleaned him all up and sanitized him, and he's not the same character.

#HanShotFirst

He was Ambien shooting, doesn't count.

You just can't make new classes Willy nilly!!

Aw, dang it! I was really looking forward to Sharaya or Diego make some rulings.

Is that a new blog!?! Someone said they'd have a new blog today!!

Twitches unconsciously.

That's not saying, now is it?

But then, you knew that!

Rules! I assure you I barely understand the meaning of the word rules!

Cantankerous Rules Lawyer wrote:

Paladin codes don't apply to the bedroom, just saying.

Awwww :(

That's a good thing! No hangups, and you don't have to worry about smiting (unless that's your thing).

Paladin codes don't apply to the bedroom, just saying.

Scintillae wrote:

Today should be fun. Giving my kids a review before our Taming of the Shrew test and their essay...then after school, I shall be cornered by six hyperactive children who need to pick feats and hope the filter isn't blocking the PFSRD again.

They all get Toughness. There, feats chosen.

Iron will!

Ed, Pointless Argument Admissions Clerk wrote:

Or is it vice versa!

This is something only a pay per view cage match can decide.

Sets up ticket booth.

Line starts here folks!

Such activity is prohibited on school grounds.

In compliance with article 4.18B7-2 of the school's charter, you'll have to move your action somewhere else.

Not if I take a five foot step as part of my full attack, g@*$#~mit.

Discussing potential characters for one of my soon-to-be players, he accidentally typed "asamurai". So I said "An Aasimar Samurai? Sure!" He replied with "No AssSamurai. Kind of like an Asian ButtPirate."

I'd allow it.

But all the best hallucinogenic mushrooms grow on the poop at the back of the pasture!

You're doing it wrong!

Is the swarm wearing mithral chain shirts?

How dare you exaggerate! And on the internet of all places!!

Yes, PCGen is my new favorite toy. Just got done making my first character, "Hunts in Twilight," a male Pseudodragon Monk. :) And the printable character sheets are just like handmade, and absolutely beautiful.

You can't do that! That's not PFS legal!!

Are you implying I would cause strife just to exaggerate post counts.

Damn it, she's on to me!

captain yesterday wrote:

No one's judging you Tacticslion.

Raises hand eagerly

I'm judging him! I'm judging him!

Wait yer turn!

Damn kids today...

looks sternly at the initiative order.

Clearly you need a sorcerer archetype where you get a bonus to AC for shedding clothes.

Maybe a swift action to shed an article of clothing to get a +2 to AC and everyone has to make a will save or be dazzled for 1d4 rounds.

Just a starting point.

Of course, every article shed stacks the AC bonus and will save DC. Or perhaps it should be scalable...

We'll see about that...

To the Core Rulebook!

I will have to disagree here, the CRB makes no distinction between divine magic cast by cleric or druid.

But, to each their own, it's not a big deal. :-)

A real boy.

I don't buy it, he's clearly up to something.

Either way, that's not how I would've jumped the ten foot wide pit.

Shouldn't that be *Jeers*

Or, and I'm just throwing this out there. *Cheers*

Hey now, you can't FAQ in off topic.

But then, you knew that, didn't you KC.

You cannot obfuscate the truth!

Wait... is that right?...Oh god!...

curls up in a fetal position, clutching his useless button, crying uncontrollably.

first of all, how dare you

Actually, personally, you're wrong.

TOZ wrote:

I looked into Kingdom Death.

That may have been a mistake.

YUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSS.

I believe you mean YEEEEESSSSSSS.

Not like smurfs, once you get those f#@#ers in the woodwork it's all over.

So, now there's competition.

gets out tire poking knife.

It's cool, nothing wrong with competition.

I'll overlook all rules questions for the rest of the year as long as no one explains the Levitation spell to him.

There's nothing in the rules saying it's not allowed.

However, if you want to go through ten pages discussing it's merits and a pedantic discussion about pedantry I'm game.

Gets out Extra Pedantic Encyclopedia Brown.

I'd like to disagree with that.

Beats me, I'm not a lawyer... I mean, I'm absolutely a lawyer.

It's not supposed to make sense!

Way to go guys, now he expects cohesiveness.

tips a turkey, regrets it almost immediately.

Ahhh! Get it off! Get it off! Not the face! That's the money maker!

You think they'll stop arguing about the election after one day.

I'd like to argue about that.