Cannon Lawyer's page

KABOOM!

FIRE!

NO and YES.

KABOOM!!!!

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Wait, Sharoth is 'Guardian of Explosive Runes'? I know I didn't come up with that, but I'm fairly certain I was among the first to spam it on this board. I could be wrong, though.

Nobody 'splodes thing like you, KC. You are the undisputed king of "What's that say? BOOM!"

::Strolls through thread, hands KC his card. Eyes the wolf up and down, then continues on his way::

You wanta a test? I'll give ya a test!

Crimson Jester wrote:

Moorluck wrote:

Gary Teter wrote:

Wait, we have a time machine?!

Yes. But we are in disagreement as to how it should be used. I saw we go back and grab Audry Hepburn and bring her to the last PaizoCon as a gift to Jason. Everyone else thinks we should go shoot paintballs at the Mayans.

I say we do both only we kidnap Mayans and shoot Audry Hepburn with paintballs.

I'm all for options, but that's clearly a textbook case of "you're doing it wrong."

I concur with Sebastian's implicit definition of "it," in this context.

Mairkurion {tm} wrote:

We could send Sebastian after their ass.

The pony likes a donkey tail now and then? ;)

Would a mule be born?

I have it from a source under oath.

So you admit your clients were negligent in not including a warning label for this thread?

I demand a science cannon that can destroy the moon!

I recommend a lawyer, your Majesty. Allow me to introduce myself to the moon as your legal representative.

KA-BOOM!

Little Timmy wrote:

Urizen wrote:

I got some chocolates from the Jacks. Anyone want any? I'll be glad to share. Puts down box.

<strolls out like Randall>

Maybe dwagons don't wike chocwit?

Hah! There you go. You owe me two hundred and fifty thousand gold pieces, plus whatever my lawyer charges you. In this case you may consider my legal represenative to be the messageboard regular commonly known as 'Sebastian'.

If you don't pay up within three days, I have a commercial arrangement whereby Sebastian purchases your debt as part of a portfolio from me anyway, and comes after you for every last copper he can squeeze out of you with his rainbow coloured hooves.
Presents Little Timmy with seven hundred pages of paperwork, then strolls out of the thread.

I'm young master Timmy's legal counsel.

KA-BOOM!

Big fail for me on the procedural position. This is a summary judgment, no evidence was presented, just affidavits to support the basic facts underlying the claim. The problem is that the plaintiff did not address the arguments to the legal standard, which would require showing that the claims that D&D would not lead to gang activities was incorrect. The plaintiff didn't make that argument and didn't have any affidavits to support it.

Starts handing out cards to Sebastian's former clients. Proves cannon.

taig wrote:

Patrick Curtin wrote:

Thought this one might tickle the funny bones of the group:

Link

Why do you have to pick on those poor rules lawyers? They're almost people too. :)

You can shoot em in Texas, if they're in your house.

KA-BOOM!

Broadside!

KA-BOOM!

KA-BOOM!

KA-BOOM!

KA-BOOM!

KA-BOOM!

KA-BOOM!

I like this new guy.

I dream of force feeding the Book of Law to KaeYoss...a la Clockwork Orange.

Sets up in a corner of the thread...waiting for his moment.

:D

My work is done here.

Mounts cannon and fires self out of thread.

KA-BLAAM!!!

Chuck_Norris wrote:

STOMP

Are you a paladin of Asmodeus?

There's no such thing.

But it IS different...

...WAS different. Now it's just smoldering.

Or 1960s.

Thanks for that. People think all I do is maintain my cannon when I'm not firing it, but of course the Cannon Lawyer enjoys a good get-down as much as the next fella.

I come not to control, but to blast to smithereens.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Jack,
Just got your message. I anticipated your response, and the person has already been cannonaded.
Regards,
C.L., Esq.

enclosure: Bill-to-date for services rendered

Cannon Lawyer wrote:

This flag

A flag! Quick, capture it!

I prefer to blow them away.

Let me see that, Mr. Jack.

Uh-huh...uh-huh....

No problem. This flag is not valid. See here?

He misspelled "flippant". The judge will throw it out.

Gotta go.