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One issue with the law vs chaos divide is that behavior may not appear all that different between lawful and chaotic characters in the short run. They just have different worldviews that drive how they look at situations and rationalize how they behave. This can make things pretty murky, particularly for newer players or ones who don't have as much time on their hands to mull over this crap as I do.
So I try to provide a bit more oomph to what it means to be lawful or chaotic. I tell people to think more along the lines of collective vs individual when looking at lawful vs chaotic. Lawful characters see themselves fitting into collectives as important pieces of the machine of society (or pieces of the puzzle, whatever metaphor turns you on) by their nature. Chaotic characters think of themselves as unique individuals and, if they fit into society (which they can), it's not by nature, it's by choice.
And it's not just any single society for either of these questions. It's a bunch - nation, ethnic group, religion, guild, company, order, whatever. As someone who is a part of these societies by nature, the lawful character tries to conform to the expectations of all of the societies they belong to - prioritizing competing expectations only when they need to. Those instances may be difficult, but conformity is otherwise relatively easy on the psychology. The chaotic character picks and chooses which tenets of which societies they will follow - this irons out many of the internal philosophical conflicts a chaotic individual might face, but lead to more outward conflict as they buck traditions and expectations they don't like.
Once I define things that way, I have no problem seeing paladins in Cheliax, paladins as Hellknights, and paladins living alongside slave owners. They may be good and belong to the Church of Iomedae, but they're also Chelaxians and don't trust willfully disrespectful and unreliable Andoranians. I also have no problem with chaotic characters following consistent codes of behavior - they're just idiosyncratic codes of behavior - suitable to themselves. This is also why Batman is Chaotic Good, not Lawful. He does things HIS way, not the way everyone expects him to behave (that's LG Superman).
Once I put things in those terms, lawful and chaotic are a lot easier to deal with.