Auntie Paladin's page

Yes, dearie, I believe he did.

He's right ladies. You need to start going to one of those pilates classes, and start working on those pelvic muscles.

Well. That was, uh, interesting. Thanks for that.

*backs away slowly*

Oh, don't mind him, dearie. He's a little twitchy, but mostly harmless.

Sit, and have a biscuit.

Where is my axiomatic prune juice?

Don't mind him, dearie. He always thinks someone is out to get him.

[No wonder I'm an atheist, if all the gods are playing soccer...

You're a lapsed atheist, dearie.

Pardon me, dearie, but are you eeeeeevil?

I happen to like my name, thank you.

We are a beacon of freshly-laundered goodness!

Well...to even discuss such matters openly is in direct violation of a paladin's code. You also shouldn't be:

Shaking hands after coughing, Mr. Immune-to-disease!

Or sneezing wihtout a hanky!

Or spitting your tobacco juice in a cup and leaving it on the table at someone's house party!

Or smoking in public, for that matter!

You better straighten up sonny-boy, or you're going to find your self busted down to "warrior" in a Sandpoint-minute!

I've got a +5 holy cold iron flyswatter I'll be using to smite that backside unless you settle-down young man!

Oh, my! I never intended to cause a fuss. I thought the kids would like some candy, and a chance to run around and play a bit. I'm sure they get tired of being told to sit still, be quiet, and behave.

And what good is a nice, comfy sofa if you can't jump up and down on it once in a while? And knick-knacks can be replaced, deary! That's why you can find them anywhere, and so inexpensively at that.

Come inside, have a spot of tea and some fresh baked cookies. We'll let the kids play a bit while we have a nice little chat.