Aso's page

The upshot is that the Jankx may still be edible.

Not that it matters, you still scragged them, but we get a -2/-2 penalty on this bone weapon crap

Just paste this in on my round if someone doesn't area effect them. If mine get roasted I'll move in to help whoever is in the most dire straits.

"Child's play" Aso bellows for the first time without stuttering, as far as anyone here knows.

Posion Save: (1d20+6=17, 1d20+6=11); Aso has 47 hps left, oh no.

Ignoring the nips and bites, and shrugging off their venom in his fury, he replies to their chattering with Mekillot bone.

Hittin' (1d20 +7=24)

Killin' (1d8+2=8)

We're gonna be so pimped. And schlepping a lot of meat.

I declared a readied action, waiting outside a hole, do I get any benefit?

Sure thing, take a free whack (they are AC 16, btw).

Free whack blown. Here's my action for the first round.

Memories of the geek cage fill Aso's mind as he remembers he and jankx fighting, he with his empty hands and the jankx biting and clawing for its life. Rage overcomes him as he swings again, this time connecting.

Rage. Greatclub attack doing 5 hps (1d20+7=17, 1d8+2=5) This includes -2/-2 weapon penalties.

"Good idea, Aso". Holdrus moves over to watch the halfling.

Aso goes down in history as the inventor of 'Whack a Jannx'.

...apparently not.

I declared a readied action, waiting outside a hole, do I get any benefit?

Sure thing, take a free whack (they are AC 16, btw).

AC 16? Great.

The anticipatory reflexes of hunger are so fast that Aso drives his club into the sand before the first Jankx even emerges. Through the cloud of sand blown upward from his miss, a tide of claw and fur boils over the surprised halfling and surrounds him immediately.

Whack-a-Jankx readied action (1d20=4)

...whatever. Dammit!

The suckers' base roll for initiative is (1d20=15)

Aso's initiative is 20. I declared a readied action, waiting outside a hole, do I get any benefit?

Aso takes position over one of the holes with his club, readied action.

"Flush 'em out, Z... Z... Zuko."

Gather tinder?

Aso doesn't want to cut off his dreads, and you better not take Aso's elf shirt.

Me no see Shenker's post. Main menu say Shenker has write words but they not here.

Hungry as all hell, Aso wonders if he can crawl through a hole.

Exactly.

Maybe if everyone takes a hole and Zuko warms it up down there...

Aso takes position over one of the holes with his club, readied action.

"Flush 'em out, Z... Z... Zuko."

Except for Rad, the way I'm reading those of my colleagues who have given input is that heading to Raam and either trading for what we need or stealing what we don't is the best idea.

I'm not averse to slaughtering them. My worry is that if I were a merchant I wouldn't head out into no-man's land without serious goons. The only time I would pull a hold up like this would be if I had insider contacts and knew what they were packing. As it is, I expect there will be some character deaths, esp considering the crappy hardware we're packing.

Nevertheless, Aso would seriously consider an attack because he is certifiably nuts. What are the numbers like Beeler?

This is the slowest caravan I've ever seen.

"D... d... dibs"

Posting a few reminders, one that bears on Malaki's plan: the caravan seems to be leaving Raam.

... hiking through the desolate region on what is now the evening of their third day of newfound freedom. The heat dissipates from the stony ground in visible waves of distortion, but the distant glow of a city on the horizon begins to come into focus now, keeping your path true.

...
Midway through the evening, the party makes two discoveries: A long line of flickering lights travels the road in a direction away from Raam, and a shallow depression in the rock-strewn earth contains a shallow puddle of muddy water, ringed by several thorny brown bushes.

Also, the Kank has laid two "emerald orbs". And I fixed that typo. =)

The old wookie trick. Try to cuff Aso and he'll rip arms off, man.

Ok, what will it be, men? Following the caravan and/or contacting them? Then propose a plan.

Or will it be Raam.

That sounds worse than checking out the pool of muddy water.

US: "Excuse me, but we noticed you passing by with all these slaves and armed men. We happen to be escaped chattel who are down on their luck and we are armed only with sunderable weapons and loincloths, so we were wondering if you might have some high-paying positions open as caravan guards."

THEM: "Not at the moment, good friends, but if you would like to fill out a slave application, MOGAR the ABOMINATOR over there has a few forms stashed in his codpiece."

We shall:

1. arm ourselves
2. go boozing
3. go whoring

Where we'll get the money for this, and how exactly it is done, totally escapes Aso.

What, did you miss the stuff about whores?

Aso, bored, thirsty, and hungry, his flea supply nearly exhausted from over-harvesting, begins digging for grubs and tubers.

Survival, looking for tubers and grubs. (1d20+1=8)

Guess he didn't find nothin.

After the bit about pimps and whores:

"aaaaAAAAAaaah" Aso intones.

"Aso has no j... j... jingle. Can I, with th... th... these?" Aso points to the ivory bracelets and necklace he plundered from the dead elf.

Aso, looking at Holdrus and Shenker: "What's a p... p... pimp?"

Aso, bored, thirsty, and hungry, his flea supply nearly exhausted from over-harvesting, begins digging for grubs and tubers.

So far, the stalkers are:

Shenker (move silently 16+10=26 hide 12+10=22)
Aso(Move Silently 19+5=24, and Hide 5+7=12)
Kirrish
Skarsnikt
Holdrus
Issiki

And maybe Kha-chik is taking the air cuz it was Vale's idea to look. Vale?

Looking at Shenker after Faindirac's advising: "Dem b... b... bigwords. Wududey mean?"

Schenker makes a wil save to avoid risl (rolling in the sand laughing).

Hey man, he's keeping low-low.

Warrrrf

"grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

Aso joins Shenker, running on all fours like a dog.

(Move Silently 19+5=24, and Hide 5+7=12)

Aso looks confused: "Wh... whh... wh... frack!"

"Is that really R... R... Radik?"

Aso: "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

Well, Shenker has set init for the party: INIT BASE ROLL IS 8.

Aso's init = 13

With the jokes out of his system, Aso sets down to some jackass rescuin'.

He closes in (enough to be considered engaged), drops his greatclub (he keeps the dreadlock thong around his wrist), and gets ready to grapple with the puddle monster.

With the bug and Holdrus, he will try to pull Radik out during the first round:

First strength roll to get Jackass out. (1d20+2=12)

Invisible Castle rocks man, it's got the whole BBCode, now. Just wave your mouse over it and it automatically copies with all the code. No more typing brackets and url this, url that. Anything you type in the comment box is added into the BBCode url link text. Smooooooth.

Zuko's got a sword, he could cut Radik's legs off before it all goes under. Could he take 10 on that? And I got the pun three posts above, BTW--such talent, Heathansson.

Should we roll initiative?

Aso has dropped his elf umbrella and has come to the edge of the depression, he is warily (meaning he readies himself for scrappin' and he ain't FF--and he doesn't ready his club, it's always ready) peeking down. "I wonder if that g... g... grey sk... sk... sk... skin means the meat is sp... sp... frackin' spoiled?"

Decisions, decisions: help Radik, let it eat Radik, eat Radik myself. Hmmmm.

"We could p... p... p... probably get all the water we need while he's d... d... down there."

Do you mean the flea snackin' or the flea havin'?

Aso occasionally repeats the episodes he had the first day of travel, but never loudly enough that anyone can figure out what traumatizing experience is haunting him lately, except that he seems to be talking about a woman.

When he's not eating fleas, getting twitchy, and chattering like a derelict on acid, he tends to follow Holdrus, Shenker, Zuko, or Malaki, asking them every mindlessly simple question that crosses his mind.

With Shenker this inevitably descends into either an inventory of scar tissue or endless barrage of question about women.

There are reasons people take roads. Unfortunately, Aso is not aware of any of them.

Which is most likely to result in a TPK?

We don't take that one.

An surprisingly deep growl from such a small thing: "grrrrrrrrrrrr." Aso learned more than a few aggression noises fighting in the geek cage.

"Go with."

Have f... f... fun!

Muls don't have hair. No hair, no fleas.

not even eyebrows?

lol. Aso is very huggable, as long as he has eaten in the last 24 hours. And I reckon everyone has fleas by now.

Whenever the voices cease, and oblivious to the conferences around him about where to go, Aso wanders apart from but in the same general direction as the rest and mutters to himself repetitively.

"Break the l... l... locks, b... b... bigger lock. B... b... break the biglock, superbig l... l... lock. Can't break the locks. Don't break the locks." Grunts and growls follow. Aso seems to be acting out fights he remembers sometimes fallling to the ground and wrestling with ghosts that trouble his damaged mind.

Then, "three months scraping a hole through the f... f... frackin' floor, almost done, almost done, almost, almost. Bigjob d... d... FRACK. B... bigjob decides to move the c... c... cage and he find it!" Aso sneers and swings his club at the sand.

And a little later: "That frackin' d... d... d... dog, it was that frackin' big frackin' dog. Old b... b... bigjob's dog. Didn't think Aso could take it. No, no. NO, they didn't. Arena dog k... k... killed 9 bigjobs they said. F... f... frickin' fatman lost the frackin' money and we had to m... m... m... move."

The autobiographic monologue goes on for some time, recounting increasingly horrendous events.

Thinking about Aso's background, I guess he's been all over the tablelands and will probably recognize Raam--and arenagoers in the big cities may likewise recognize Aso. Being locked in the cage, though, he has neither a sense of how to get from place to place nor any really useful knowledge about the places themselves.