Aso's page

"R... r... r... Raam. Aso needs a b... b... b... frackin' blade."

I never suggested where Aso was in my bio, but it ain't Raam. I'm thinking somewhere south.

I was hoping the characters with the brains would decide. But if you ask me,

Toward, in the following order:
1. Water
2. Civilization
3. the asshats that tried to enslave us

If they are the same place, I don't think you will hear any quarreling amongst the party members. So Kirrish, who can track, is probably the best guy to ask. He might want to consult with someone who hasn't been locked in a cage for the last ten years, especially with someone who might have area knowledge.

Aso points violently in the direction which the else have been supposed to travel. "G... g... g..." He growls. "Let's g... g... g... g... frackin' GO!"

Rousing from a deep sleep in the hole he dug under his umbrella just in time to hear the voices; Aso repeats a curse he has heard sworn oh so many times by the fat bigjobs who lost their coin betting against him, "We're f... f... f... f~#*ed!"

Aso's idyllic image of a brotherhood of the freed has just shattered. Aso stands agog at the quarreling.

Provided the disagreement does not spiral down into a melee, when the shock fades he wanders off, removes the elf shirt that he has wrapped around his loins, and starts picking lice and fleas.

Yah, I bet Malaki is gettin' tired, eh there old Shenk-man? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Again, this desert isn’t intense as Athas goes, and you are somewhat acclimated, so we’ll stick to the “very hot” instead of “severe” heat category, meaning daytime travel will net you nonlethal damage from heatstroke every hour of travel (If you do go traveling through the day, I’ll just grab a block of rolls from everyone and we’ll run with it).

Anything in the rules for the umbrella?

The list of gear:
XXXAn elf skin unbrella Aso
XXXCarrikal (jawbone battle axe) Holdrus
Chitin Armor (+5 AC, +0 Dex allowance, -6 ACP, 35% ASF, 20 ft, 35lbs., heavy armor)
XXXSmall bone greatclub (-2 atk /-2 dmg) Aso
Five Bone Daggers (-2 atk / -2 dmg)
Stone Short Sword (-2 atk / -2 dmg)
Two Bone Clubs (-2 atk / -2 dmg)
One Medium Shield
XXXBlood Obsidian Falchion - closer inspection reveals the exceptional craftsmanship of this weapon (+1 attack, +1 damage) Zuko
XXXBone Dagger (-2 atk / -2 dmg) Holdrus
XXXPsicrystal Faindriac
Sling
4 sling bullets (3 now)
XXXTortoise Blade (spiked shield) Holdrus
XXXtraveler outfit Aso top Zuko bottom
traveler outfit
XXXOne green-jeweled pendant Aso
XXXTwo ivory rings Aso
XXXQuarterstaff Faindriac
Two belt pouches XXXFaindriac has one
A bone short bow
11 scattered stone headed arrows
XXXA large folded piece of reed parchment--overland map Malaki
6 bronze headed crossbow bolts
Three skin patches with tattoosXXXShiklik

The Items marked with XXX are claimed.

If nobody wants it, Aso grabs the shortbow and 11 arrows. S*%$ i keep forgetting I'm small! I can't

Please cross out stuff you have and correct any errors.

Aso trails a little behind twirling his slightly lopsided macabre umbrella like a little dandy.

Suggestion: Oasis could dangerous dangerous. Long-ear sand walkers catch all here oasis once. Not know who...again, he has to pantomime: he puts down his sack, picks it up again and then clutches it tightly to his "chest" to display tight ownership...oasis. Could eat clutch. Could sell clutch. Not things trade water, either. His antennae twitch with anticipation. Hunt long-ear sand walkers. Chase quarry, eat hearts, drink blood. Or steal water, watch die. That good good. His upper body bobs up and down in agreement with his own suggestion.

Aso strolling back under the elf skin umbrella replies: "L... l... l... let's go make m... m... m... more umbrellas." He points in the direction the elves have traveled.

MalaKi wrote:

“With DM approval

Peasant outfit....sweet. Bless you for opening the darn parchment. I was waxing apoplectic.

Just before Aso was gonna wipe his ass with it.

The burnt-ochre sun begins to ascend as your search progresses.

I missed the part where we slept. Aso will dig a hole to sleep in.

In the morning.

Slept. Fed. Happy. His first free morning in recent memory, once his morning wood is satisfied (take that, Shenker, ED), Aso chews on the last few chunks of elf meat that he had stashed in his dreadlocks and begins to hum a familiar song completely off-key. He wraps his elf shirt around his groin like a diaper, throws his club over his shoulder, and hoists his elf skin umbrella for a gradually widening circular stroll around the encampment.

Take the Falchion Zuko, I don't hink Holdrus wants it and I don't remember anyone taking it from him.

I think Faindriac grabbed that staff, Z, unless it's a different one. Maybe one of his last posts last page or first post this page. Nobody seems to want the Falchion.

If only we had a campfire and some Pina Coladas. And we weren't in this hellish land.

For the record, when he found them Aso greedily snatched:

ivory rings.

necklace with green pendant.
He's wearing:

the top half of a traveler's outfit.
He's got the crafted:

greatclub from Holdrus.
And he's relaxing under the:

elfskin umbrella

He looks like a pimped out Bambam.

Check the bolded part, Aso.

Totally missed that even though I read it (????). Reading so much stuff here. Oops, sorry.

HOLDRUS, Aso has been trying to give you the medium bone dagger we found before the melee.

Not claimed

Tortoise blade: treat as small shield with stone spike.

Blood obsidian Falchion. 2Hd'd 2d4 about 8 lbs, I think. Nice blade.

Aso is observing Issiki with great curiousity. Although he remembers almost nothing about his past except his parents, a sense of connection to the other little person and a curiosity about his peculiar ways have sprouted within Aso's little geek heart. He appreciates that the other does not grovel before the bigjobs and wonders if he has been caged. Aso recognizes the little one's words and can even use them himself, although they come very slowly.

Comrades; over there (gestures with a wing) are two pack animals collapsed with some gear and a path where others have gone; go thus yeah mul's who be strong; and retrieve that for our feast and thus I will bless and purify, with the will of the spirits, all of this feast. We should waste not anything for where comes our next meal is unknown (eyes the halfling)

As I see no current enemies though they may lurk hidden; I propose we rest a bit here and gorge our bellies against famine.

Looking like a refugee from a Flintstones episode in his elf shirt and jewelery, Aso looks up from his banquet of uncooked elf at the giant chicken. He licks his fingers, glares, and starts a low growling. He drags one of the elf's legs somewhere he can't be observed and resumes his meal. He will reappear sometime later and toss a few chewed bones into Shiklik's burial pit.

"C... c... c... cook?"

Uneasy at eating the flesh of one he has not faced in combat, Issiki still decides that as the elves died bravely then it would be fitting to honour them with the ritual.

The elf is wearing a necklace with a green-jeweled pendant, and a set of ivory rings.

Bingo. Grab the jewelry. Heck I'll grab the shirt, too. Didn't know it was cold here at night.

Aso slips into the elf's shirt and jewelry, then begins eating him. He offers the pants to someone else. Hopefully the elf doesn't have parasites. Aso suggests to Issiki that he can have a ritual after the elf has been picked clean.

The human is pretty well baked, but I’m assuming you are pulling the elf from the Howdah to search and possibly eat / make pants out of its skin?

Eat the human. Get the elf and search it. Drain its blood and drink. Butcher it. Eat it. Make pants, parasols, whatever we need.

If Malaki has some craft, Aso could use some help learning to shape the bone into a greatclub. Check on the -2 attack and damage. That sucks. What is cord armor? Not that I can make it.

The way he is hemorrhaging, it does not appear so.

An immediate 17 heal (Aso and S%#*lick) and cure moderate (from Zuko) should help that, no?

Also....finally....looking for a shattered rib or (again) long bone which might have edible marrow in it if this thing hasn't been dead for weeks.

I don't know about the rest of you, but Aso is havin' elf for dinner tonight. Meat is meat. All the more for Aso if you don't wanna touch it.

Aso is going to choose a bone to make into a greatclub (small, 2H, 1d8, 4lb). He will also try to make an elf-skin parasol if he has time--the sun dries his skin, you know. Clothes... he'll just have to take them off again to crap, why bother?

Casting Cure Moderate Wounds on Holdrus and Aso.
For Aso 2d8+4=17

"Thanks Bigjob"

That puts me almost all the way back up.

G'mork, if time permits, Zuko casts Cure Moderate Wounds on Holdrus and Aso.

Roll it, baby!

I seem to have some trouble with this weapon, I hope we find some weapons or I can fashion some blades from the Mekillot bones if time permits.

Aso gives Holdrus the bone dagger then goes searching for a small blood obsidian greatsword, which I doubt he will find. He will swing anything that can roughly substitute for a small sized greatclub in the meantime. He snacks on his fleas and lice and finally speaks to the group, but especially Holdrus, pointing to the dune where the Mekillot came from.

"Bigjob right. G... g... g... go look!"

14+1+2[Sk's AID]=17 Heal on Holdrus

Aso and Skarsnikt try to stop the bleeding with compression. Aso cuts off a few flea ridden dreadlocks with the stone dagger and implements them as bandages.

Aso goes to Holdrus, calming himself with each staggering step. He will try to AID ANOTHER anyone with some healing skill of a good WIS bonus to stop the bleeding (+2 anyone who wants to try). He keeps an eye on the crest of the dune from where the Mekillot came but keeps glancing at the 3 dead bodies. EDITED: OR Skarsnikt can help Aso with his spurious battlefield medicine.

Vision of roasted humanoid are dancing in his head, but Aso is distracted from the potential meal by worries that there may be elf survivors. And that he has wasted his 1 Rage/day!

I don't think you guys are gonna have much luck getting clothes on [Aso].

He'll probably chew them off.

is the mekillot talking back, Renfield?

That decade s#~~ting through the bars of a cage and chewing the skin off slaughtered animals has affected his mind just a little. I don't think you guys are gonna have much luck getting clothes on him.

Aso continues his gyrations and genital waggling despite the depressing counterattack in progress before him. "Is that the b... b... b... est you can d... d... do? Y... y... y... shambling h... heap of k... k... kark food!" He's talking to the Mekillot, guys.

Aso is looking over the Mekillot in hopes of seeing damage from its previous fight, his enraged mind wanders as he imagines smashing it into dust.

Good night folks, good luck!

On his init, for the second round, in K-17:

Aso stands up (move action), resumes his screeching, and pulls apart his butt cheeks at the beast. He gets ready to seriously dodge this time (Total defense as a standard action, Rage, AC:17, HP: 29--EDIT: should've done that before but I forgot, also just re-read rules and I can rage and total defense... can I?). Time slows down. He focuses in on the beast, his skin tingles. The red rage consumes him.

Relflex save: 12+5=17

"Should have zagged" Aso thinks as a fountain of blood sprays out of his mouth--flying through the air seems to last forever. At least the sand is soft and there are no bars behind him.

Shall we say that puts me in K-17? 21 HPs. Prone.

Aso is angry. Very, very angry.

A little bird told me that thing moves 40 so I'm gonna take a five foot step back off the road to J16 and hope it doesn't charge me. (Edit: cancel that, posted too late before G'mork's post below)

Rags has got me scared talking TPK on the discussion thread.

Dark Sun Map # 1

POSITIONS:
Ka-chik at the howdah still until Vale says otherwise
Holdrus last seen by the flying elf, taking the Falchion from Aso
Shenker feeling up the burnt dead woman, search roll total 19... congrats, you found her boobies
Zuko G24 casting
Aso K15 caressing the sand beneath his feet, waiting for doom, made spot roll of 7 to find a way in, shouting to attract it
Malaki at the burnt elf, looking at it hungrily no doubt... ok, he's searching it
Skarsnikt F12 flanking
Kirrish H13 getting ready to do nasty bug stuff
Radik F19 looking very badass, feeling very sick
Illyen E17 going invisible and arousing the suspicions of everyone
Faindriac D19 hiding behind the howdaw calling for his pebble
Issiki baking away from Howdah and Mekillot 10 ft., thinking it may be prudent to run like hell

INITIATIVE:

I’m showing:

KaChik
Holdus
Shenker
Aso (searching the elf) / Zuko (casting a spell)
Malaki
Skarsnikt / Kirrish
Illeya / Radik
Faindrac
Issiki
Mekillot

"s... s... s... search the bodies l... l... l.. long-ears."

Only a few of us are not exhausted, fate, there is one dead elf and one dead woman not yet searched. Oh yeah, your init at +2 is at 14. You are supposed to post your location.

Again, I'm at K15, I've used my move action to get there and my standard action, caressing the free sand below me. I'm waiting for it to come to me, but ain't giving up my init.

Holdrus we need to retcon that handoff. I can't use the Falchion, it's too big. I'm a frickin hobbit and it's medium 2Hd'd. I thought it was 1Hd'd. Surprise, surprise. Wait, you're a monk, you can do bludgeoning lethal with your bare hands.... Snafu. Can I use it as an improvised at -4?

Falchion
Martial Two-Handed Melee Critical: 18–20/×2
Type: Slashing
Hardness: 10
Damage: 2d4
Weight: 8 lbs

Aso, jogs to K15, stands on the big black line, and wonders where it came from. He cuts the air a few times with the awkward weapon then closes his eyes for a few seconds as he bends down to feel the first truly free sand under his feet in what must be ten years--then he fixes his eyes on the Mekillot and starts making a lot of noise. (Move and Standard Action)

Shouldn't all our initiatives be far far lower than they are? I don't have any modifier to mine right now as my Dex is currently 10 thanks to the -6 of exhaustion. Ah well, anyway.

... well, mine is lower.

Go ahead and move that cow Beeler. Spot roll--looking for a way into the Mekillot: 6+1=7

lol. nice roll. hope I do better than that.

Aso's modified DEX makes his AC 15.

Aso grins and shouts to the others.

"D... d... d... do you think Aso can g... g... g... get inside?"

"Move it, Mul, b... b... b... bone or steel?"

I'm by the elf (on my initiative, will crash in an few hours, I'll check in if the kid wakes me up, just skip me and I'll post my init late--the thing is at least a round away, probably two, even if we move toward it).

How about this. Of the high inits:

The bird has natural weapons.

Shenker is a mess with -6 STR.

Holdrus is ready to go, can lay on some hurt with a good weapon, and has a higher init.

Zuko's got fire.

I'm at -2 on both weapons anyway due to small size, although I can still do some serious damage (fatigued only) and the Mekillot's AC can't be that high, or could it?
So I hold both handles out to Holdrus and let him choose.

If I just hold it out handle first they can grab it. But really higher init should be able to search the elf first and get the weapons. When I posted my search I missed your call for us to roll init.

check

I'll toss the dagger handle first to whoever is the most able, and posts first, right now that is Zuko and Holdrus. The pass will happen next round I assume.

Ohhh. Dagger, falchion. Decisions, decisions. He looks around for the least f+%&ed up fighter, and passes the dagger to him. I guess that's Holdrus (EDIT: ok to Zuko if he needs it you two call it). Falchion -2 for inappropriate size. Better than a kick in the head.

The taste of elf blood brings it on.

I'm gonna rage when the thing gets here--someone oughta stand behind me to pick up the weapon.

Aso is fatigued, not exhausted, cuz of endurance feat, leaving his modified dex at 18 (+4)

Aso's initiative: 12+4=16

Aso will take 20 on the weapon search. Scratch that. I'm going to get out of the howdah and go check the elf if he's nearby. I'll take a quick bite if I can. (Edited)

Aso stares at the humans, who he associates with his former captors even though he knows everyone here is a captive like him. He says nothing, remains prepared to chew out their throats, but does not act aggressively. The fleas are a small but satisfying snack. His head throbs from dehydration.

The dreadlocked, naked halfling helps untie the rest, in particular Issiki, searches for a weapon, even an improvised one would be fine, and salivates. Now and then he stops to pick fleas out of his pubic hair. He eats them.

search roll 1d20+0=6

ok, ummm. he takes 20 on that

oh, the cage is unbroken?

+2 aid from the bug makes my total escape artist bonus 13. 12 if I am only fatigued cuz of endurance feat, 10 if exhausted like the others. Take 20 gives me a 32.

Aso breaks a crazed grin.

"you l... l... looks already et"

"Aso... d... d... d... don't'rus' b... b... b... bigjobs anymor'n'elves", Aso says to Holdrus, and gestures to the humans. Aso is still working on that escape artist roll posted above.

I think only the Muls are fatigued Heathy. The rest are exhausted.