Ask a Succubus's page

Ask a Succubus wrote:

Ask A Succubus Flag-waver wrote:

Oooh! It's the badger! Bundle!!!!!

Is it actually fair to threadjack the poor mustelid like this?

Hey, it's not like there’s any voting left now, and we know him. Wait a moment. I’m getting a strange sense of déjà-vu here…

You mean like we've done this before to one of his threads in this contest? And now here he is in this position at the end? How strange...

Oooh! It's the badger! Bundle!!!!!

Is it actually fair to threadjack the poor mustelid like this?

Dear Tom Qadim,
Congratulations on reaching the top four. (After making the top 32+ for the third year in a row; it's nice to see that at you're now going to be stepping politely back and letting some other people have a go in the top 32.... ;) ) At this point, you have won the true prize, of getting to write a Pathfinder Society module, perhaps to be played and cursed by players years from now at conventions, whilst a certain badger (or at least that's his avatar at the time of this post) gets to stress about writing a 32 page module.
From the viewpoint of a CE aligned (very advanced) succubus, I think I'm inclining towards the most interesting presentation you gave being that concerning the great way to annoy (hell)cat lovers, back in Round 3. It's not necessarily that it was the best made of your presentations, or anything like that, but it actually had an obvious practicable use (and appeal) to an Abyssal temptress.
Anyway, best wishes for the future.

Ask A RPGSupersuccubus.

Well yes, dear. Not everyone appreciates your rather cutting-edge fashion tastes.

Obviously, we're succubi and don't mind other succubi being behind us, but it tends to make some mortals rather... jumpy.

Ask a Succubus wrote:

Ask A Succubus Flag-waver wrote:

Oooh! It's the badger! Bundle!!!!!

Is it actually fair to threadjack the poor mustelid like this?

Hey, it's not like this is a voting round, and we know him.

Which fact I suspect the poor fellow may be regretting right now. He might well have gone to ground with Mrs. Taig in their set, and is cringing horribly.

Oooh! It's the badger! Bundle!!!!!

Is it actually fair to threadjack the poor mustelid like this?

I refuse to confirm any rumours that several prominent and powerful demons in the vicinity of the Worldwound with an appreciation for opera and the fine arts ensure that operations by brutish, violence loving, rank-and-file (to stretch a metaphor almost to breaking point) demons remain firmly fixated on Mendev...

Let's assume you are a brand new fledgling power mad evil dude.

Obviously your goal is to become the Ultimate Uber Eevil Overloard and rule the world. {or at least all of it that matters.}

How would you go about it?

Actually none of it matters. Well there are several dress-shops, tea-plantations, and sundry other goods or service-providers which help to make life enjoyable, but it's not actually necessary to run any of it. Not unless you're some sort of egotistical control freak and enjoy stressing out about whether minions are exactly doing what you ordered, how many times a day to whip your feudal lords to optimise loyalty and income, and like being disturbed in the middle of the night to be told that a group of neighbours have pulled together yet another last desperate alliance to crush you and put an end to all your awful tyrannies and etc, etcs.

Now I grant that a certain amount of beings do find That Sort of Thing fun (or else are lackeys of Asmodeus with a rulebook in place of a soul and little choice except to pursue such goals) but personally I'd advise staying at home with half a dozen paladin house-pets to peel grapes and wave big feather fans up and down.
Hoping that you have found this post Helpful.

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

Llamas need liberating!!!!!!

I would respond with something to effect that Succubi are much worthier of attention, except for the fact that succubi are already about as liberated as it's possible for any entity to get; well, that is to say about as liberated as it's possible to get excepting three demon lords (whom I won't name here), because - let's face it - when all's said and done succubi do have considerable self-respect too, and there's only so far you can take being the one without having to make substantial cutbacks on the other...

What? He's only got four stars? I have minus ten. Ten is bigger than four, right, and that minus stuff doesn't really count?

Shush there....

Disclaimer:
Ask A Succubus is posting from the perspective of an Abyssal temptress of CE inclinations currently on a short term holiday (only a few hundred thousand years or so) from stuff such as attempting to cause the downfall of civilisation and laughing manically from a bath of virgin's blood. (For one thing bringing down civilisation results in a shortage of decent designer dressmakers, and for another despite the stories virgin's blood really doesn't do that much for the complexion (unless you're one of a handful of unusual corner case creatures) and is thus rather a waste of virgins.) Thus readers should be able to make up their own minds over Just How Seriously This Post Should Be Taken.
Dear Mr. Trying To Evade The Scandinavian Woodcutter's Axe,
If you can't do anything but dither about a moth and a spider web, then of course you shouldn't be the one to decided. 'Do or do not, there is no try', to quote one sage whom I believe is known of even in your rather remote neck of the metaphorical multiversal woods.
And no (unless the other entities of which you speak are unbelievably trivial) that's nothing like what it feels like to be anything remotely approaching a 'supreme' being. On a couple of occasions I have made mind-contact with Abyssal Lords (who are entities reasonably high-up the ladder of sheer power) and there's the whole adoration of legions of worshippers going on, plus the demands and supplications for favours/boons, and the instant knowledge (if desired) of the particular thoughts and intentions of any few dozen or so of the aforementioned faithful, and the sense of the condition of all sites dedicated to your name (and whether or not an entity with moderate power loyal to another 'supreme being' is intruding) and...
And let's not forget that all this intense adoration and worship are coming from seriously sentient entities; now I grant that in the case of the planes and worlds I'm most familiar with, some of these sources with which the Abyssal Lord was in contact could have been moths or spiders, but it seems to me to be a bit unlikely from what I've heard of your world, that the spider and moth you state you were in communion with (you were in communion with them, right?) were quite so sentient. My experiences with Abyssal Lords were really rather intense, and if it weren't for the occasional annoying whiny note or rather petulant demands some of the worshippers I sensed intruding, I would have been rather tempted to seek deific ascension some time ago; from my perspective though, the incredible power and the adoration isn't quite worth the bother of those annoying worshippers who want you to tell them where they left their second favourite sacrificial dagger, or want to know why this week's robes colour has to be purple and yellow stripes with pink polka dots? (The answers to which latter questions by the way are 'almost certainly in the pocket of the robes you were wearing last time you used it' and 'because I say so you twit', for the record.)
Coming back to your original spider/moth question, it's a question of do they both worship you? Do they worship hated rivals? Have they done any favours for you (whether deliberately or accidentally)? Have they ever crossed your path? Are they pretty? Will leaving one or both of them alive annoy/spite someone you dislike? Have either of them annoyed any of your friends? Would it be humorous to interact with them? Add and/or multiply all of these factors (plus several more) together, divide the result by the state in which you got out of bed in the morning, and there's your answer.
Hoping that that unfortunate confusion regarding another wolf and Red Riding Hood's grandmother is resolved soon.

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

Further Disclaimer:
See the first Disclaimer again. Especially the bit about the Seriousness Of This Post.

This thread is a GM Reference thread for Part 6 of the Jade Regent Adventure Path. Links for the individual threads for each part are as follow:
The Brinewall Legacy (Part 1)
Night of Frozen Shadows (Part 2)
The Hungry Storm (Part 3)
Forest of Spirits (Part 4)
Tide of Honor (Part 5)
The Empty Throne (Part 6)

This thread is a GM Reference thread for Part 5 of the Jade Regent Adventure Path. Links for the individual threads for each part are as follow:
The Brinewall Legacy (Part 1)
Night of Frozen Shadows (Part 2)
The Hungry Storm (Part 3)
Forest of Spirits (Part 4)
Tide of Honor (Part 5)
The Empty Throne (Part 6)

This thread is a GM Reference thread for Part 4 of the Jade Regent Adventure Path. Links for the individual threads for each part are as follow:
The Brinewall Legacy (Part 1)
Night of Frozen Shadows (Part 2)
The Hungry Storm (Part 3)
Forest of Spirits (Part 4)
Tide of Honor (Part 5)
The Empty Throne (Part 6)

This thread is a GM Reference thread for Part 3 of the Jade Regent Adventure Path. Links for the individual threads for each part are as follow:
The Brinewall Legacy (Part 1)
Night of Frozen Shadows (Part 2)
The Hungry Storm (Part 3)
Forest of Spirits (Part 4)
Tide of Honor (Part 5)
The Empty Throne (Part 6)

This thread is a GM Reference thread for Part 2 of the Jade Regent Adventure Path. Links for the individual threads for each part are as follow:
The Brinewall Legacy (Part 1)
Night of Frozen Shadows (Part 2)
The Hungry Storm (Part 3)
Forest of Spirits (Part 4)
Tide of Honor (Part 5)
The Empty Throne (Part 6)

This thread is a GM Reference thread for Part 1 of the Jade Regent Adventure Path. Links for the individual threads for each part are as follow:
The Brinewall Legacy (Part 1)
Night of Frozen Shadows (Part 2)
The Hungry Storm (Part 3)
Forest of Spirits (Part 4)
Tide of Honor (Part 5)
The Empty Throne (Part 6)

A recent survey published in the succubus periodical Knitting Monthly reported that Fighters were the most frequently encountered professional adventurer in the subset of pragmatic trysts (who survived the encounters) that a random selection of succubi reported over a twelve year spell.
Reasons given by succubi who favoured Fighters tended to include 'they're conveniently susceptible to flattery or other lines of approach', 'most other adventurers when not engaged in killing things and stealing stuff are usually too busy practising their spells and/or trying to sell their loot', and 'they tend to be easy targets for the get them so blind drunk they'll do anything ploy' (in the latter case due to the fact that they find it almost impossible to decline being invited to engage in a tavern drinking contest by a remotely pretty person).
Note that the survey included several possible statistical flaws such as succubi potentially being unwilling to admit to 'prize catches' of a more rarefied nature (in case someone else tried to steal them), the fact that spellcasters of any kind ended up being almost entirely ruled out of contention due to the high mortality rate incident amongst wouldbe smart-alec 'binders', and an almost inexplicable oyster price bubble that happened for a period of thirteen months across years six and seven of the survey.
Whilst this result is thus open to considerable challenge, I must say that an accompanying survey regarding liaisons between professional adventurers and a variety of ornamental garden fixtures made bemusing but interesting reading. For some reason, apparently there was a high incidence of encounters of bards and summoners with sundials, and a frankly baffling correlation between barbarians and gazebos (which almost all other professional adventurers avoided as if they suspected the things were cursed).
Hoping that this post has been Helpful.

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

Disclaimer:
This post represents the viewpoint of a CE inclined abyssal temptress. Nobody said that it was going to be nice.

<summarised> Is my GM evil? What about my DM? Is he/she evil too? Is it fair that my GM/DM is allowed to torture me by only giving me one combat encounter on average every three hours? </summarised>

Dear Mr. Amber Icosahedron of Criticals,

Your GM and/or DM is always right at the table, even when he or she is wrong. That does not mean that he or she is always fair. As a clue, listen out for maniacal laughter. Maniacal laughter is always a good hint that something not perhaps strictly fair is about to happen.
The question of whether your GM and/or DM is evil is somewhat harder to analyse in the absence of hard data from divination spells. Any projectile vomiting which occurs in response to being splashed with holy water may just indicate fiendish possession and not necessarily outright evil on your GM and/or DM's part. A strong dislike for tea simply indicates that he or she is merely uncivilised, and no indicator of position as regards to good and evil.
If you are desirous of more combat encounters per hour, may I suggest that you take to propitiating your GM and/or DM with frequent (and expensive) gifts, accompanied by subtle hints? To be sure your GM and/or DM may just take the gifts and enjoy them without giving you any more combats per hour (see my earlier comment to the effect that GMs/DMs are not always fair), but at least you'll have tried.
Hoping that you have found this post Helpful.

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

Further Disclaimer:
As a reminder in case you missed the first Disclaimer, Ask A Succubus is providing the opinion of a tanar'ri temptress (or demon for those of you who missed 2nd edition AD&D) of impeccable character, outstanding social contacts and indisputable taste.
Now if you'll excuse her, but she has a dungeon full of bureaucrats whom she needs to rick roll until they beg for mercy...

Tada!

...

(Introductions really aren't my forte. Expect a better blog post.)

(edited, slight tidying up)

Dear Mr. Renie,
Introductions are of course a matter of etiquette and depend for their character upon the circumstances of the social situation in which they occur. What is quite appropriate and may involve a plate of cucumber sandwiches at a discreet little garden party hosted by Orcus may not quite pass muster at a Pathfinder Society gala or Galtan celebrity execution. At a masked event in Absalom, it is of course more difficult than usual for most folk to be certain if one or more of the audience are in fact influential senior members of the organization (though of course there is always the old joke that on such occasions the Decemvirate are amongst the few who deliberately go unmasked); At a guillotining in Galt, the Maitre d' has to be absolutely certain he introduces his victim(s) correctly the first time, since he may not get an opportunity to apologise later for muddling things up - not least because if the crowd is expecting to see the Count d'Escoffia lose his head, they might get annoyed if the executioner announces 'Baron Rougan' just before he pulls the lever. Galtan crowds are known to be quite vigorous when it comes to making their displeasure felt about not getting the expected guests on such occasions.

To some extent you are in the position here of a Galtan celebrity. The lever has been pulled, the blade has descended, and all you can hope for is that your friends in the Grey Gardeners whom you had arranged with to switch out a mundane blade for Razor Jenny and to fix your reincarnation afterwards don't manage to bring you back as something which everyone points their fingers at and laughs at too much, but instead arranged a form which gets you reverence (or at least respect) and which means strangers in taverns tend to treat you to drinks.
Congratulations on your reincarnation, I trust that it's successful from your perspective, (or at least gets you what you want), and best wishes for the future.
Oh, and mind that... oooh. Too late.
Hoping that this post has been Helpful.

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

Disclaimer:
This post constitutes the view of a discreetly successful and moderately accomplished Abyssal temptress. Several Galtan executioners were fatally harmed in the making of it (they just couldn't get the crowd scene right) and the aristocracy of a small village in Taldor was utterly depopulated. On the other hand a brewing establishment in Druma did quite well financially, and the last (and successful) executioner has now retired to write his memoirs.

You're forgetting the most important one of all:

SOMEONE [else] is WRONG on the internet!

Dear Mr. (currently, as of my posting) Leafy-face,

Haven't you heard the expression 'so wrong it's right'?
Hoping that you have found this post Helpful.

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

Wintergreen wrote:

So looks likes we are all set.

25 GMs and over a 100 attending.

Now what have I forgotten....?

The Machine of Lum the Mad?

Just because Paizo can't use it because it's WotC IP, it doesn't mean we can't... ;)

(edited, clarity)

Ignore him, Mr. Venture Captain. He doesn't know what he's talking about. It's been broken for five centuries, ever since we used it as a tea urn at a little get together in the Abyss. It still does the death rays and all that stuff, but you just cannot get a decent brew out of it...

I have a couple of thoughts to offer, at least one of them exceptionally silly and frivolous, at least one of them immensely profound:

Any game is what the players and any officials/umpires/referees/other nosy adjudicator types make of it.

Genuine optimization is a pursuit with no genuine hope of ultimate success unless it involves at least one succubus.

Hoping that this post has been Helpful.

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.
Edit:
Oh, yes, in case you're unfamiliar with my posts, please consider this post made from the viewpoint of a tremendously talented Abyssal temptress of impeccable taste. :)

Disclaimer:
The following post accurately represents the viewpoint of a sophisticated, Abyssal originated, succubus who, whilst she certainly doesn't dwell in anything as gauche as an ivory tower, has been known to reside at times on the Isle of Kortes, in Taldor, and once (for twelve months by accident) in post-civil war Cheliax - and generally in the most sumptuous, tastefully furnished villas imaginable. It should of course, if you have any concerns at all about being visited by half a dozen alkiliths (intellectual property rights be damned - oh wait, they already are), be taken with The Utmost Seriousness...

Hmm. I'm trying to recollect what Fairness and Nice are supposed to mean in the context of the tragic-comic little dimension in which Earth exists. I think that one - or perhaps both of them - are supposed to be holiday resorts, right?
I would dictate more, but my scribe is a pathetic little mortal who needs his sleep and I sadly have to curtail this post here.
Hoping that this Post has nonetheless been Helpful.

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

Further Disclaimer:
See the opening disclaimer. It is Very Important when regarding the Utmost Seriousness of this post. You might wake up with an Alkilith in your bed or not wake up at all... (Although actually, the latter is probably preferable and much more merciful.)

Maybe I can wrestle Hyrum for his copy, at Paizocon UK?

Dear Snorter,

Or you could just take his copy and lock him up in the basement so that Paizo have to send a clone of their events director to GenCon and then claim on the 'accident of the trade' insurance and quietly replace him later in the year - you know, just like you and they did last year with Josh Frost... ;)
Hoping that this post has been Helpful.

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.
Disclaimer:
Ask A Succubus is posting with the insight and perspective of an Abyssal temptress on this matter. If in your version of reality this is not what happened last year, and as far as you know Josh Frost is still alive and well... well it's probably best for you to carry on imagining that that is the case.

(tweaked for polish)
Well, I would invite you round to my place for a little civilised dinner-partying, but the staff are still clearing up after my last dinner party got a little over-enthusiastic and someone dropped the cheeseboard on the carpet. That wouldn't have been quite such a problem under normal circumstances, only the Orcan Death-cheese landed within range of a potted aspidistra, and as you can imagine (or perhaps, mercifully for you, can't imagine) things got a little hairy after that. There are still coffee grounds and remains of three guests on the ceiling, and three expeditions into the depths of the aspidistra have still failed to retrieve the gnome archbishop of Calistria who made the mistake of 'diving for cover' in exactly the opposite direction to that in which he ought to have gone.
Of course the real social embarrassment was that after the confusion and screaming had mostly ended, two of my nieces and a Hellknight lictor who had somehow sneaked in were discovered under the table discussing the political economics of the occidental tea industry... I mean if it had been the oriental tea industry, that would have been another matter altogether, but the occidental one... I had to be Quite Severe on the three of them.
Anyway, enjoy the scenery and bobbing waves.
<waves politely and departs>

Dear Nevynxxx,
Well it is Olympic year next year, so maybe you'll pick up some passing overseas tourists on their way to the games...
Hoping that this post has been sufficiently evil... ;)

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

Rûmlin, Dwarven Barrister wrote:

Lucy Fury wrote:

Rûmlin, Dwarven Barrister wrote:

Lucy Fury wrote:

Clark Peterson wrote:

Huh?

*Deleted Post*

Oi, just because you're not a succubus, it doesn't mean I'm not keeping an eye on you. Play nice.

Well it turns out I have post destroying powers too.

Fine. Play that game if you like, but I play fair and maintain a few bad apples doesn't mean that the whole barrel's bad.

Whereas I on the other hand practically define unfairness. Plus a great many other things.

Knock it off you two.

(edited, style)
Dear Dread Lord Orcus,
Many congratulations upon your latest venture into the Realm of Mortals. If I might be so bold as to make a request, please take care to beat Mr. Spicer at regular intervals to ensure high productivity, and to menace him with Gulga Cench and Memorymaker if he proves recalcitrant in his work.
I have been requested by my sister-succubus, 'Ask A RPGSupersuccubus' to recommend that Mr. Spicer should be particularly assigned to any spreadsheet-related tasks, given that he fully appreciates their power to bring chaos and confusion. (She is in somewhat of an odd humour at this time, and I am unclear if she is in earnest or making a joke here. She doesn't like to stray beyond the RPGSuperstar forums, though, hence her requesting I be the messenger.)
Are you quite sure that Facebook is sufficiently corrupt and evil a venue for your magnificence? Granted that these mortals don't have anything quite like the Countess Almathrada's Almanac of the Abyss, however, so a demon lord has to make do with whatever may be to hand...
Hoping that you have found this post Helpful.
Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

<puts out the welcome mat for a Much Needed And Uniquely Important thread>
(more stuff to follow at some point)

Ladies, ladies! As highest ranked succubus present, I say leave the poor man alone for now, and let him get back to writing his journal. He has quite enough pressure on him at present without having to worry about all the torments a tea-party of sophisticated ladies will devise for him if another journal installment is not forthcoming very soon.

Ooh. Does that mean I get to be Ask A Succubus TM?

Only for now.

Hmmmph. If it didn't play into Asmodeus' court, I have a feeling that we probably ought to Trademark this franchise.

Dear Mr. Muir,
I would suggest that perhaps the Shoanti might be afraid of tea - and anything to do with it. A pot of afternoon tea is viewed in some (sophisticated) circles, as the ultimate civilised experience, and of course civilisation steals Shoanti lands and makes the tribesmen weak. (It doesn't actually steal their lands. Hellknights and greedy Korvosans do that, only a fraction of whom drink tea, but that's a by the by.
It's also entirely possible that for some reason succubi have gotten caught up in the mythology (or are responsible for it in the first place) being known and dreaded merely as 'The Tea-Drinkers' (with a gesture to ward off the evil eye as the speaker says the phrase). Although a natural fear and respect for succubi is not actually that unreasonable given that we prefer (in general) not to fight with overt weapons which our targets see coming, but with gossip, and rumour, and political alliances. Well okay, those and the more direct 'shapeshift into a buxom wench and seduce and suck them dry' approach that enthusiastic youngsters amongst succubuskind sometimes employ...)
Hoping that this post has been Helpful.

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

Dear Confused Badger,
There are in my opinion very few things or actions which are actually 'wrong' in existence, and the majority of those which are are generally something to do with that up-tight archdevil god, Asmodeus, and his flunkeys.
Many Asmodeus worshipers talk at great length about 'rights'... (Usually their right to rule, to take things, or to punish.)
Hoping that you have found this post Helpful.

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

...I considered removing the chase scene, and using the CR of the traps to up the bad guys inside, however I really wanted to showcase those rules and Tarvin seemed like a perfect candidate to work with. I loved the idea of have these traps to whittle away the party with. Some have commented that the traps seem to low CR to really be effective, and in normal circumstance this would be the case. Since this is a chase, there is almost no chance of them being spotted or disarmed. The action simply moves too fast for that to happen, unless a rogue has quick disarm and trap spotter. This means that those trap are very likely to go off and effect the party...

Dear Mr. Superstar (probable) Top 4,

My fellow succubus likely has her head too much in the clouds to pick up this sort of thing, which means it's up to me to poke you to pay attention to the difference between 'affect' and 'effect'. I believe you meant 'go off and affect the party'. Consistent muddling stuff like this may lead to snarky judges and/or voters throwing things at their computer monitors.
Hoping that you have found this post Helpful.

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

~screams in horror~ Noooo!!! The Clutter Killer Queen has reached my room! Back, you vile fiend! Back! ~Closes my door~ whew! My junk is safe for now!

edit - My original post got eaten!

Dear Sharoth,

That would be the debt on your karmic credit card which Urizen ran up paying for a Supersuccubus' services starting to come due. You have much, much, much more pain yet to come.
Hoping that you have found this post Helpful.

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

Trevor Merback wrote:

Wow! At 98 cents a word, Gulga Cench must have made him a fortune!

Gulga Cench has gone into deep hiding. About the only time he becomes relevant again is...right about this time of year. ;-)

Dear Mr. Leaping Gnome,

What Mr. Spicer should perhaps have said (instead of 'gone into deep hiding' - a most un Gulga Cench like activity if ever there was one) was 'Gulga Cench is (purportedly) currently on a tour overseeing his interests in the underworlds of Kaer Maga, Riddleport, Oppara, Cassomir, Katapesh and a number of other locations (too sensitive to currently disclose) which are hives of scum & villainy and/or major centres of the arts. Gulga Cench is thus too busy at present to make any personal appearances, and I can neither confirm nor deny any rumours in circulation that at least one judge kneels before an arcane artifact every night to ask of him "What is thy bidding, my master?"'
Hoping that you have found this post Helpful. ;)

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

Dear Mr. Lundy,
My fellow succubus is currently somewhat busy drafting an 'End of Round 2' post right now, so I get to handle this one:

...I chose bard because, for the most part, if you are playing a bard, you are doing it to be a roll playing kind of character. Bards have always been synonymous with “arrow fodder” to those of a combat orientation. Those of us who enjoy the class know that their true abilities lie in the roll playing aspects of the game. I was only trying to put more of that slant on this class, and also because a con is a kind of performance...

I believe that 'roll playing' is gamer slang for gaming in a manner where the thrill is in rolling dice to deal with combat or other situations; it's a sort of satirical comment/riff based off of 'roleplaying', and is the antithesis of the approach that you appear to me to describe bard players as enjoying.

Hoping that you will excuse this comment and have found this piece of lore To Be Of Interest. ;)

Yours Helpfully,

Ask A Succubus.

Edit:
Oh, and good luck with the next round if you get through. :)

Soon.... Very soon...

<waits to set ornamental sundial by the point at which the thread bursts into flames>

*PING!*

<sets sundial; leaves smartly>

James Jacobs wrote:

Officially, we haven't had any of the iconics hooked up. We haven't even revealed their sexuality. For now, it's best to assume that they're all bisexual, I suppose.

James, does the quantity of impure thoughts generated by that last comment fulfil the quota of chaos required from you by your demon masters in record time this year?

Dear Brock,

'Quota' is a concept of the Hells, not of the Abyss.
If you inspect the mechanics of just what one involves, this should be readily apparent to you.
We prefer a much more flexible and personal 'go forth and please me' approach in the Abyss, occasionally giving hints as to things which we'd appreciate seeing done.
Hoping that this post has been Helpful to you.

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

I feel disadvantaged now. My item was small and had a dumb name and my online personality is fractured and irreverent.

Dear Nebulous Mistress,

In the hope that it will make you feel better, I refer you to *this*, which takes some beating in the small and dumb name item stakes...
As to irreverent: these are the Paizo messageboards, where the PostMonster General introduced a special feature which, odds are, if you mention a particular word awards you with the avatar of a small blue likely hat-wearing creature that originated in the European lowlands. Irreverent fits right in in many situations.
I'm not clear on what you mean in this case by fractured personality, but frankly I'm not some evil baatezu (that's devil in modern parlance) lawyer type who's going to go trawling through your past posts analysing each and every one... Well not unless you severely provoke me. And everyone has the occasional bad day when you wake up and need to lay a small town to waste to vent your feelings... that's understood by most easy-going folk (unless they had friends in the town).
Hoping that this post has been Helpful.

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

Ask a Succubus wrote:

How many blonde-haired succubi have been illustrated in Paizo products recently? Please exclude illustrations of Calistria from your count. We all know she's a succubus, but she's been somewhat eccentric ever since she ascended to deityhood, and can certainly no longer be relied upon as a sister-in-arms in most cases, if one does not happen to be working for her. That doesn't stop her from showing up at the seasonal Great Balls of succubi in the Abyss, though... ;)

Calistria isn't a succubus, so I wouldn't count her anyway. And talking about "Great Balls" in a succubus thread was momentarily confusing as well. As for blonde succubi, we had some alu-demons who are blonde in Pathfinder #5.

Dear James Jacobs,

How can you not have attended one of the Great Balls in the Abyss? Surely Nocticula or some other succubus of rank has invited you to attend as a dance-partner on at least one occasion?
<makes mental note to write to Nocticula if the reply here should be in the negative>
Most succubi tend to bring at least one mortal, either to dance with and/or for supper, and some bring two or three. We have themes - loosely speaking of course - and those who feel like sticking to the theme dress as outrageously as possible to show off their wealth, their contacts, and their taste. (Decent makers of fire-proof dresses which don't show blood-stains tend to make a fortune in the run up to a Great Ball.) Somehow we always have music - whether bardic orchestra, chorus of tormented devils, or (one time) Charon moonlighting to guest-star playing a fiddle (or at least it was someone who looked a lot like Charon) - on most occasions there are usually enough drinks to go around (and we improvise if there aren't), and we always have real chandeliers with thousands of candles. They are the biggest, bestest, chandeliers in the length and breadth of the planes, and it usually takes a week for the charmed servants just to hang them up and light them by hand. (Something like that needs doing properly by people who know that one candle out of place, or worse still a crystal damaged and they will be lunch... there's nothing like candlelight flavoured by the fear and perspiration of the person who lit it.)
Oh, and once in a blue moon, one of the mythical Daughters of the Morning, the misnomered 'Greater Succubi' of fables is said to attend incognito. Everyone's always on the lookout for strange faces (somewhat tricky, given the inherent abilities of succubi) that could be a new succubus, or could be one of the Great Ladies of the Abyss.
Anyway, I'm gushing here, and that's quite enough for one post.
But I can thoroughly recommend the Great Balls.
Hoping that this has been Helpful.

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

Dear James Jacobs,
I was recently perusing the (currently active) thread about ethnicity and racial diversity, to see if it had been Godwinned or burst out into open flame-war yet, and it brought to my mind some very interesting questions:

How many blonde-haired succubi have been illustrated in Paizo products recently? Please exclude illustrations of Calistria from your count. We all know she's a succubus, but she's been somewhat eccentric ever since she ascended to deityhood, and can certainly no longer be relied upon as a sister-in-arms in most cases, if one does not happen to be working for her. That doesn't stop her from showing up at the seasonal Great Balls of succubi in the Abyss, though... ;)

How many succubi illustrated who are red-heads?

How many succubi illustrated who are, say, Garundi or Vudrani in appearance at the moment that the artist happened to depict them?

What steps are you going to take and when are you going to undertake them to rectify this gross misrepresentation of succubus activities?

Succubi operate all over Golarion, I assure you, and are very good at blending in with the local culture and religions. There are some fascinating representations of Nocticula that they have in Tian-Xi and southern Garund for example...
Hoping for speedy rectification of this issue.

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

You know all this talk of representativeness and ethnic diversity has reminded me it's some time since we saw an illustration of a blonde-haired succubus. Or a red-head for that matter. Or of a Vudrani or Garundi one... And that's pretty strange - since succubi operate all over the world, I assure you.
<beetles off to do something about it>

Dear Ike from Spain,
Just to tease and tantalise you, I shall point out that there has been a spoiler elsewhere on the boards as to the nature of some of the super awesome content scheduled to feature in Wayfinder #4...
Hoping this has you working yourself up into a frenzy of anticipation... ;)
Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

Anry wrote:

I will think of something utterly witty to retort to that several hours from now when it doesn't matter!

You gotta think fast if you're gonna be Superstar, man! ;-)

** spoiler omitted **

Also:
** spoiler omitted **

Dear Mr. Spicer,

I have a Lens of the Runethief or two left over from the freebies distributed to voters in 2009.
I always get my minion to check your spoilers with one before clicking.
Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

Abraham spalding wrote:

[

I understand and like homebrew -- but when in the campaign settings forum its probably a great idea to remember to discuss what "canon" is as opposed to "in my world."

The thread started on what is and what might be -- so someone trying to keep it to that and remind you that what you have doesn't match that is probably done in the interest of the forum we are in and continuity of canon.

It's always 'my world.' James Jacobs isn't going to come down from Olympus and run your game for you. Nor should he want to, I expect. Paizo is selling a setting as an aide for play, not a substitute for the creativity of DMs and players, or a straightjacket for their imaginations. Each individual DM sets the stage as he sees fit. Each campaign, even if drawing heavily on published sources, will be different. Thank goodness for that!

Please stop telling me not to use my imagination and not to discuss ideas about how to use the Golarion setting material. This is the appropriate forum for such discussions, musings, etc. We are all talking about Golarion.

<slaps Charles Evans 25 around>

Dear Mr. Cummins,
There are some people around who run things strictly by the book. As you have (most excellently) made clear that adherence to the form of the setting is not the strictest concern to yourself and your group, and not being a fiend with much interest or knowledge of most mechanical things which go *bang* (or at least not which I will admit to) I shall gracefully duck out and drag the recalcitrant Mr. Evans with me. He would like to let you know how sorry he is for having disturbed your equilibrium of mind. If you so desire it, he will be even sorrier by the time that I have finished with him...
Hope that you have found this post Helpful. ;)

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

Stuff.

Ignore Charles Evans 25. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Well not apart from if he says nice, complimentary, things about me... Or is agreeing with me or backing up a point I have made.

Disclaimer:
Ask A Succubus is a CE aligned succubus subject to fits of whimsy and capriciousness. Whilst it's a possibly fatal mistake to fail to take her seriously, it may well consign you to the Abyss for an eternity of being made to groom her pet snail collection (as if she'd ever do anything which involved coating herself with mucus except in very occasional cases of exceptional Fun) if you do. And that, as they say, ladies and gentleman is being caught between a rock and a hard place.

I wish to use time more productively.

Dear Mr. Mortika,

Granted. Report to my suite at midnight, but make sure you have put your personal affairs put in order first and please notify your next of kin that you have just disinherited them. I may be chaotic, but that doesn't mean I can't be forward-thinking...

Yours,

Ask A Succubus.

What? You honestly think I am going to play a 'no wins' wishing game? Oh alright then: I wish for half a dozen tome archons, a box of crackers, and an incendiary Christmas Pudding, all to be sent to Mr. Aberzombie to cheer him up. ;)