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Arbane the Terrible's page

371 posts. No reviews. No lists. No wishlists.


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1 person marked this as a favorite.
Thomas Long 175 wrote:

I don't use guides. I make my own soldiers.

I have yet to receive a complaint on their effectiveness (except this one guy in pfs who refuses to play with my barbar anymore due to the fact I usually do alot of the combat, the healing, and have good social skills)

How's a barbarian do healing?

Apropos to the thread, this comic seems relevant.

plaidwandering wrote:
unfortunately the ice tomb hex has no effect whatsoever on undead or constructs

It might do a little cold damage.

There's a spell called Icy Prison, but it's not on the witch list.

I wouldn't bother with the Charm hex - the duration on it is so short that it looks to be nearly useless.

12 people marked this as a favorite.
Quark Blast wrote:
I had a GM once who thought Critical Fumbles were a great idea. I took the tables, ran some descriptive stats on them, and it showed typical PCs would be permanently maimed, at a minimum, by the time they reached 3rd level.

Oh, you and your silly "statistics" and "common sense"... :D

Best test for fumble rules I've heard yet: "Run a combat of 10 level 1 Warriors against 10 straw dummies (Medium inanimate object, AC 5). For 2 minutes (20 rounds) each Warrior makes 1 attack per round against the dummies; the dummies do not attack back.
If (at the end of 20 rounds) any of the Warriors are dead or dying then the DM must butter his fumble rules and eat them." - hewhosaysfish, GitP forums

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Also, in 1st ed, 1GP = 1XP, and it cost a hefty sum to train up to next level. Although lots of people ignored those rules...

PCs were expected to sneak around, try to avoid fights as much as possible, and go for the big score when they had the chance.

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Petty Alchemy wrote:

I've encountered one tonight, from a game I just quit (partially to the below rulings, partially to the fact that I felt like I was babysitting one of the players rather than playing with him).


There was no mention of using crit fumble rules in the game posting (I wouldn't have joined it in the first place).

If you're playing a witch, you can make fumble rules work for you: Just take Misfortune, and give your opponents something you can laugh at.

Personally, I dislike fumble rules in PF - partly because I signed on to play Prospero or Conan, not Laurel and Hardy, and partially because some critical tables will let characters screw themselves up in ways that an enemy battleaxe to the face couldn't do, which just seems _wrong_.

For the first one, I'd think the extra spells from the human favored class bonus would be more useful than the +1 HP/level, but then, I love spells.

I'd suggest swapping Misfortune and Fortune in your progression plans - dragging your enemies down is at least as good as raising your allies up, there aren't many enemy casters at low levels, and you can use it more often (since each fight is fresh new enemies, usually).

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Second Chance is a good one. Reroll a failed save once a day? Yes, please.

Dotted. Some very good advice in here!

Is there a better source for these? The last few are hard to read at that size.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
MagusJanus wrote:

GM says: You should read the comments on Youtube.

GM means: I hate you.

"If you really want to understand humanity, all you have to do is read the comments on YouTube." - Said, cynical undead merchant in The Secret World

Anyway. Probably misquoted from the Gitp forums:

GM says: NO! NO! WHYYYY!
GM means: NOOOOO!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

That is indeed quite awesome. Thanks!

Games don't get much simpler than RISUS - six pages for all the rules. It's intended for more silly/free-form games than Pathfinder, though.

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137ben wrote:

The Dvorak thing was something that sticks out in my memory of when I made the horrible mistake of looking at the comments on a youtube video. Don't do it if you haven't:)

First Rule Of YouTube: Don't read the comments.

"That Gandalf dude is TOTALLY a ripoff of Obi-Wan Kenobi." - Random Idiot in a Dork Tower comic.

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Magda Luckbender wrote:
Here's the ** spoiler omitted **. I ran it back in second edition to score a complete TPK. The above poster-version has a kind and generous GM with several survivors shown in the lower-left corner.

One of whom, mind you, is trapped forever in a small room.

(There's a bunch of those walkthrough-comics on the WotC site, for other classic modules. They're awesome.)

Magda Luckbender wrote:

If the players had any idea what was in store for their PCs they would all just flee the place and call that one a loss.

"The Tomb of Horrors is an intelligence test.

If you enter it, YOU FAILED."

I was looking at the Cyclops on the SRD, and I think it's a bit under-CRed, simply because it has a 1/day ability to insta-kill most level 5 PCs if they roll a 20.

1: they have a special ability to, once a day, dictate a die-roll they make. Like a crit confirmation.
2: They're armed with an axe that does 3d6+7 damage, with a x3 crit multiplier. By my math, that's _average_ damage on a crit of about 52 points, which means unless whoever they hit has MORE than 10 HP per level, they're down, and quote possibly dead. And they get two attacks a turn.

It seems a bit excessive.

Jaelithe wrote:

"Oompa Loompa, doopity do,
I've got another answer for you.

Gold star for you and your improv poetry.

Jaelithe wrote:

Hell, if a player says, "Gee, we're in a critical situation, here. Could we dispense with the fumbles, because it's not dramatically appropriate?" I'll likely say, "Very good, then. Carry on."

It's for flavor, not to beat players up.

I like the way Legends of the Wulin handles fumbles, which they call 'interesting times': Any roll that ends in a zero digit makes things more complicated in some way, IF the player accepts the luck point offered for it.

Aranna wrote:
Oh and the justice? He ended up marrying a woman who controls his whole life and refuses to let him game, spend more than a few hours a week with friends, or drink ANY alcohol.

This guy's wife is a hero for Saving Roleplaying. :-P

My go-to story for terrible GM calls:

What I can't take is when the same thing happens to the setting, following a sadly predictable pattern: if I need it, it's not true. When I want to dodge airborne surveillance by meeting someone under a tree, there aren't any parks or green spaces in arcologies. When I want to introduce home aquaponics as a money-making scheme (banking on the lack of greenery being a bit irksome to people), the arcologies are lousy with parks and everyone's full up on plants. The same has been true of nearly every aspect of my character's backstory; the surest way for me never to have met an NPC is to ask if I might still have their number from such-and-so incident a decade ago. Until they turn out to be evil, and suddenly we hung out all the time and he can pick me out of a crowd instantly. Bear in mind, I got my backstory written for me. Numbers jump based on who's asking, and I specifically have to give a detailed reason for any question I ask about the setting--and I can be sure that whatever the answer, it will last until I come up with a new plan based on the implications of that answer.

And it actually gets worse (and more hilarious) from there.

FuelDrop wrote:
Nakteo wrote:
Aranna wrote:
I remember him telling one guy that ALL women are raped at some point... I am fairly certain he was talking about his game.

The tough part is then applying Liquid Nitrogen, which as we all know weighs in at 77.2 degrees Kelvin. That's not a temperature that encourages flame.

Hmmm... suggestions?

Use liquid oxygen instead?

Back on topic: I wonder if people like the Rape-O-Rama DM ever wonder why our hobby is stereotypically boys-only... or are they proud of doing their bit to keep the icky gurlz out? >:(

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I've been lucky. My personal worst GMing story doesn't even come close to some of these. (Edit: GM had us start as level 0 commoners... whose town was then burned down by the Drow who dragged us off for a year of torture. We escaped thanks to one character (the GM's husband's character, who had a split personality as a result of the Drow's abuse) having one of the torturers fall in love with him, and help us escape. She was planning to use this plot on a female PC(!), but thankfully, the only one was a Kender. (This is the only time I have ever been thankful to have a Kender in a D&D party.) Said gay Drow stalker showed up again later. That was a hell of a way to start a campaign.)

This story, however, is an epic tale of railroading, egomania, katanas, bad fanfic, possible delusions, an amazingly stubborn player, and improvised chemistry.

3 people marked this as a favorite.

GM says: I've spent years writing this world!
GM means: has an EPIC PLOT! And you insignificant peasants will be privileged to watch as it unfolds!

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One data point here: I played a witch in a game where the main enemies ended up being vampires. So, no Slumber, no Ice Tomb... So, I saved those for the living mooks, and used Fortune (boost allies), Summon Monsters, Black Tentacles, Bestow Curse... I managed to keep busy. Enjoyed it, too. The worst thing about the character was picking all her spells each day.

False Life is good. So is Mirror Image. So is hiding behind the Fighter.

Get a +2 Belt of Constitution, for an extra 9HP?

Keep moving. Succubi can teleport, but I don't think they have any way of tracking people.

It could be good for a Hexcrafter, to get the Extra Hex feat, for the more obscure Hexes that are situationally useful.

Cast Commune. Why engage in scriptural hair-splitting when you can just ASK a god what they want?

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Caedwyr wrote:
Why didn't the girl just resurrect the rogue player? She is a level 8 cleric after all.

She was probably hoping Black Leaf's player would reroll as something better.

The guys who made the Gamers movies are making a movie out of Dark Dungons. The mind boggles...

Dust Form won't keep an opponent away, but may seriously gimp the damage they can do.

Web and Black Tentacles are good for keeping opponents from getting close. So are Vomit Swarm and Summon Swarm.

Hold Person, and the Slumber, Agony, and Ice Tomb hexes are all good for keeping an enemy from hitting you.

Cloak of Dreams was already mentioned. Call the Void is another good spell for making enemies want to keep their distance. So is Unadulterated Loathing.

I am horribly disappointed with Obamacare.


The Republicans PROMISED us Death Panels! Get to it, guys - Grandma won't strangle herself!

If you're good, there's a Paladin spell that can boost saves by your Charisma mod: Bestow Grace.

The Second Chance trait doesn't raise your saves, but does give you a second roll on one, which is awesome. But if your GM's strict, you might have to worship Chaldira to get it.

MattR1986 wrote:
Regardless of whether you meant it as a negative to prove a point, the idea of spell chains/trees is pretty intriguing.

That's pretty much how GURPS has its default magic system work - it's a skill-based system, so each spell is its own skill, and some require you to already know some weaker spells in the same group.

One that bugs me: If you've got a high strength, a suit of plate armor will slow you down less if you're carrying it than if it's being worn.

Mendeth wrote:
Yeah, Animate Dead could be swell, and only slightly disturbing for bypassers.

For a less ethically dubious approach, how about Unseen Servants? You'll have to sit in the field while multiple castings work (due to the short range), but bring a book and some lemonade.

Guts: 20th level Fighter.

Lina Inverse: 20th level Evoker.

Anyway, to answer the OP, the US healthcare system can be summed up in five words: "Your Money or Your Life".


If you can find room, I'd recommend Misfortune (works on _everything_) and Fortune (free rerolls for your allies!) as well. Looks like they'd be heard to fit in, though.

Andrew R wrote:
i believe in minimal taxation for the few things the governments are actually good at, maintaining borders and roads and very little else. I get charged to call an ambulance, utilities come from private companies in many areas.

Gonna test your own food for salmonella, eh?


Oh, and there's this: Ted Cruz (R-Dingbat) asked people on Facebook if they liked Obamacare - people said "yes" by a landslide. :D

Vamptastic wrote:

How does Wonder Woman only have 8 Charisma? She's canonically "one of the most beautiful women in the world."

Good looks <> Charisma. That said, it should be higher.

Hm. Maybe Paladin for WW? She _is_ on a mission from the Gods...

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Rynjin wrote:
Fighter is not the bar one should use for balance.

Which is itself part of the problem. The fighter's entire schtick is... FIGHTING. If they're not as good at fighting as other classes, something has gone very wrong.

Spell storage? You mean like the Stone Familiar item?

tonyz wrote:

The sorceress could have set up a _contingency_ spell ("if I get hexed, dispel magic on the hex"), or maybe have a familiar with a wand of dispel magic or something like that.

That particular trick won't work - (Su) Hexes can't be dispelled.

AstraelOrannis wrote:

I know 75 single magic missiles only do 75d4+75 damage if they work.... but that is still 75d4+75 damage.....

Nuclear Dan? Is that you?

Yeah, that's pretty cheesy, and some of the obvious problems have already been mentioned.

Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
No uranus jokes? Seriously? WIth an opener like "diamonds come from uranus" no one took that and ran with it? You disappoint me.

As was pointed out by Ashiel, Lunar beat you to it.

One other reason Retribution can be good is that it doesn't have the 'immune for 24 hours' clause most hexes do - if the enemy makes the save, just smack them with it again next round.

Mathwei ap Niall wrote:

1. Unlike all your other major Hexes, Ice Tomb can target OBJECTS as well as opponents (including Undead, Mindless, Constructs, etc). Retribution CAN affect these targets but is easily defeated by the target switching to ranged attacks or simply stop swinging in melee and casting spells.

Wait, what? My GM ruled that all Ice Tomb does to undead is 3d8 cold damage, save for half, and that it doesn't work at all on inanimate objects. (If it did, I could freeze a lake solid with a little time. That'd be fun...) Was there a new ruling I missed?

Here's a guide to playing a sorcerer that might come in handy. It might be a bit advanced for a complete noob, so just ask if you have questions.

Basic character-building advice: Charisma should be you highest stat, then Constitution and Dexterity, then Intelligence (for Spellcraft and the skill points, mainly) and/or Wisdom (for will saves & perception rolls). Strength is a good choice for a dump stat.

Pick spells you can expect to use all the time. Save the 'it might be handy' spells for the Wizards.

Play a human - each level, they can get an extra spell known instead of a skill point or hitpoint, which is kind of a big deal.

Grimnir Gunnarslag wrote:

yerp! Dodge, deflect and blame the other guy indeed

As usual, The Onion is way ahead of the lamestream media in capturing the zeitgeist of this country.

(Oh, ignore the article about the last non-telepath. Good thing this is just a funny satire magazine for non-telepathic people, which is all of them. Yes.)

Grey Lensman wrote:
Peter Stewart wrote:
As has always been, and will always be, the case, the power of a given class depends entirely upon the GM in question and the player in question.
As a thought exercise, I wonder if anyone has tried to figure out which classes are the hardest to mess up via takng poor options?

That's a tough one - "Nothing is foolproof, because fools are so ingenious." Just how poor are we talking in regard to the options?

After all, you can always make a fighter with 8s in Str/Con/Dex. :-P

And at the other extreme, here's a GM who won't let the player 'get away' with ANYTHING. (This thread, and its sequel, and its spinoff blog all just keep unveiling new levels of terribleness.)

Oh, look at this:

Liberal Groups Probed With Similar Letters From IRS That Triggered Tea Party Fury

Of course, to the True Believers, this was just a smoke screen to cover Obama's VILE PERSECUTION OF FREEDOM-LOVIN-

In fact, one of those groups even had their tax-exempt status changed, whereas none of the Tea Party groups were required to change anything.


Well, what's next on the Outrage Of The Day menu?

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darth_borehd wrote:
The press is having a field day calling these things white house scandals.

Can you blame the poor dears? They've been starved for years, now. Bush could be counted on for at least one new scandalous incidence of utter corruption or incompetence a week, Obama's barely had any worth mentioning by non-Republicans. (Since Republicans consider everything Obama does from 'existing' on up to be a scandal.)

darth_borehd wrote:

Benghazi: I fail to understand what they are trying to find. So we get things wrong occasionally? The IRS does not have a clairvoyants on staff? I just don't get it.

It gets better - now we have a Benghazi Scandal scandal. Seems the GOP was altering emails to make them sound worse....

Tiny Coffee Golem wrote:
Vod Canockers wrote:
You do realize that diamonds are really not all that rare.
They'd be significantly more rare if they were destroyed while spell casting.

And if mines had a tendency to become infested with horrible monsters.

Now... _synthetic_ diamonds as spell components. Discuss. :D

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