Paizo Top Nav Branding
  • Hello, Guest! |
  • Sign In |
  • My Account |
  • Shopping Cart |
  • Help/FAQ
About Paizo Messageboards News Paizo Blog Help/FAQ
Belkar Bitterleaf

Apoc Golem's page

RPG Superstar 2013 Star Voter. Pathfinder Society Member. 24 posts (57 including aliases). No reviews. 1 list. 1 wishlist. 2 Pathfinder Society characters.


Full Name

Apoc Golem

Race

Biffle (Near-Human, or close enough for government work)

Classes/Levels

Writer 8/Saucy Tavern Wench 2/Tickle-Mimic 6/Game Master 20

Gender

Maaaaaale?

Size

Meh

Age

Crusty

Special Abilities

Makes a mean cup of coffee. Summon nasal congestion at-will (Free Action).

Alignment

Chaotic Stoopid

Deity

Shiznizuazabeezak, Chaotic Stoopid Kobold Deity of Mining and Crack

Location

Nestled in the muscular pecks of an abnormally large Russian woman

Languages

Common, Celestial, Draconic, Tickle-Mimic

Occupation

Writer (ish)

Strength 8
Dexterity 7
Constitution 12
Intelligence 55
Wisdom 400
Charisma 2

About Apoc Golem

You want babies? You'll have so many babies! 400 BABIES!!

Sorry. This is neither the time nor the place for a memoir. I'm a writer, but that's not how I make my money. I don't do that. (Make money, I mean.) I'm a student at a community college in the fabled land of Ticky-Tacky. Don't ask me where it is. I'm not a map-maker, for Shiznizuazabeezak's sake.

I have a shrine to snakes in my house. Not real snakes, good gravy no. Those are gross and scary. It's a shrine to pipe snakes. You know, the ones you snake through your plumbing to clean the pipes. Those things are a handy little invention, boy howdy. Human ingenuity wins again!

Also, I have no friends. People don't like to get near me. Dunno why. Perhaps it's the pervasive aroma of Gouda that follows me everywhere. Or maybe it's because I suck the blood of goats. Also, I bite, and I'm pretty sure I haven't had my shots.


©2002–2014 Paizo Inc.®. Need help? Email customer.service@paizo.com or call 425-250-0800 during our business hours: Monday–Friday, 10 AM–5 PM Pacific Time. View our privacy policy. Paizo Inc., Paizo, the Paizo golem logo, Pathfinder, the Pathfinder logo, Pathfinder Society, GameMastery, and Planet Stories are registered trademarks of Paizo Inc., and Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, Pathfinder Campaign Setting, Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Adventure Card Game, Pathfinder Player Companion, Pathfinder Modules, Pathfinder Tales, Pathfinder Battles, Pathfinder Online, PaizoCon, RPG Superstar, The Golem's Got It, Titanic Games, the Titanic logo, and the Planet Stories planet logo are trademarks of Paizo Inc. Dungeons & Dragons, Dragon, Dungeon, and Polyhedron are registered trademarks of Wizards of the Coast, Inc., a subsidiary of Hasbro, Inc., and have been used by Paizo Inc. under license. Most product names are trademarks owned or used under license by the companies that publish those products; use of such names without mention of trademark status should not be construed as a challenge to such status.