| Full
Name |
Apoc Golem |
|
| Race |
Biffle (Near-Human, or close enough for government work) |
|
| Classes/Levels |
Writer 8/Saucy Tavern Wench 2/Tickle-Mimic 6/Game Master 20 |
|
| Gender |
Maaaaaale? |
|
| Size |
Meh |
|
| Age |
Crusty |
|
| Special Abilities |
Makes a mean cup of coffee. Summon nasal congestion at-will (Free Action). |
|
| Alignment |
Chaotic Stoopid |
|
| Deity |
Shiznizuazabeezak, Chaotic Stoopid Kobold Deity of Mining and Crack |
|
| Location |
Nestled in the muscular pecks of an abnormally large Russian woman |
|
| Languages |
Common, Celestial, Draconic, Tickle-Mimic |
|
| Occupation |
Writer (ish) |
|
| Strength |
8 |
|
| Dexterity |
7 |
|
| Constitution |
12 |
|
| Intelligence |
55 |
|
| Wisdom |
400 |
|
| Charisma |
2 |
|
About Apoc Golem
You want babies? You'll have so many babies! 400 BABIES!!
Sorry. This is neither the time nor the place for a memoir. I'm a writer, but that's not how I make my money. I don't do that. (Make money, I mean.) I'm a student at a community college in the fabled land of Ticky-Tacky. Don't ask me where it is. I'm not a map-maker, for Shiznizuazabeezak's sake.
I have a shrine to snakes in my house. Not real snakes, good gravy no. Those are gross and scary. It's a shrine to pipe snakes. You know, the ones you snake through your plumbing to clean the pipes. Those things are a handy little invention, boy howdy. Human ingenuity wins again!
Also, I have no friends. People don't like to get near me. Dunno why. Perhaps it's the pervasive aroma of Gouda that follows me everywhere. Or maybe it's because I suck the blood of goats. Also, I bite, and I'm pretty sure I haven't had my shots.
