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Anthony Adam's page

Goblin Squad Member. RPG Superstar 2013 Marathon Voter, 2014 Marathon Voter. Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber. Pathfinder Society Member. 2,115 posts (2,236 including aliases). No reviews. No lists. 4 wishlists. 4 aliases.


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Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Also, when you do pare down the word count like we did today, try to avoid "adding one more thing" as that way leads to swiss army knife down-voting.

I know it is hard to stop when you have room for more, but that's one of the things I am having to learn, stopping when it's done and walking away.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Wow, that is looking very, very nice now. Well done.

But you added something new :P - which is a whole new piece of feedback - evil grin.

That last line, you added about using it as a weapon, so would that be bludgeoning damage perhaps?

Double check the equipment tables and guidebooks, if there are hand held fans in there, check you aren't changing the existing damage amounts or types. (My books aren't to hand right now, so I can't check.)

The common term of phrase when referring to damage in a description is to use the term "points of {type} damage" - I know it saves two words by just saying "damage" but if you use the standard Paizo phrasing, the judges, whoever they are, will view your item as being clean and in need of little editing ;) - and with the word saving we have done today, you have plenty of spare to fix that :P

So, change that "1d6 damage" to "1d6 point of bludgeoning damage" - or piercing if you intend to say the damage comes from the metal spikes maybe? I have assumed using it closed like a small club rather than open to jam the spikes into the target. :) Alternatively, if you can find it on a core equipment list, simply say, it can be used as a standard fan and let the players look it up.


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Oh, you meanie!

Hmmm, the Welham monster... does CR even go that high?... :P


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Mike Kimmel wrote:

Just read two monsters. One was an easy keep. The other was an easy reject.

One of them was probably yours.

Not talking about mine...

Not talking about mine...

Not talking about mine...

Not talking about mine...

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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As an aside, * blame Mikko * imagine allowing it to affect breath weapons and giving it to a dragon as part of it's hoard :P

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Adding the line back in, I will use my version to allow the item writer to adjust his own appropriately...

This small, folding courtier’s fan is comprised of seven silver spokes adhered to a piece of magically-enhanced parchment bearing a harrowing image of the desolate, blasted landscape of an ancient battlefield.

Three times a day, as a swift action, the wielder of a Fan of Altered Energies casts a damaging ray, line, or cone spell through it distorting the spell's normal effects as follows:

Casting a cone spell through a closed fan compresses the spell's effect into a 60 ft. ray, focusing the damage and increasing the spells damage dice by two steps (e.g. d3s to d6s, d4s to d8s, etc.).

Casting a ray or line spell through an open fan disperses the spell’s effect into a 20 ft. cone, reducing the spell's damage dice by two steps (e.g. d6s become d3s, etc.). Targets in the cone who succeed a Reflex save (DC ##) take half damage and do not gain any conditions (e.g. dazed, poisoned, stunned) normally gained from the spell.

Casting disintegrate through the fan has a 90% chance of destroying the fan.

total add = 3 words, bringing my version total to 216 :D

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Cool, so we do need the line bits then - I was working from memory, so at 52, I think I can be excused that one :P

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Yes, much much better. It's getting really hard to polish it anymore now... just found one.

"spell become increased by two steps" -> "spell increases by" (actively increasing I think reads better here - "become increased" sounds wrong when read aloud).

"convert" and "spreading out" seem blergh, let's see what we can do that might be better.... I also think "closed" fan is better than "folded" because folded could be interpreted as partially closed and not fully closed - leave no room for the twinks and rules manglers ;)

"Casting a spell through a closed fan compresses the spell effect into a 60 ft ray." - yeah, compress sounds much nice than convert and is a great foil for the change I am about to suggest for the second effect...

"Casting a ray spell through an open fan disperses the spell effect into a 20 ft. cone." (we don't need shaped burst, "cone" fully describes the effect and is a known game term in the same way that "ray" is.

Saving throw wording is usually "succeed at" with a DC, so... also "from the spell" can go as you stated at the start of the sentence that the target saving was hit by the spell's effect).

"Each creature hit by the altered spell succeeding a Reflex save (DC ##) takes half damage. A successful save negates conditions (e.g. dazed, stunned, poisoned, etc.) being placed on the target."

The last sentence on the change in spell power, the first half is kind of pointless as we know the energy is spread out from the initial cone shape alteration, so I would move the second half to immediately after the cone description, which also keeps it to a similar structure to the initial spell. Speaking of which, that first half of the second sentence for rays again can be adjusted to a single word "focusing"...

So let's see what my suggestions look like... (your para had 120 words)

"Casting a cone spell through a closed fan compresses the spell's effect into a 60 ft. ray, focusing the damage and increasing the spells damage dice by two steps (e.g. d3s to d6s, d4s to d8s, etc.).

Casting a ray spell through an open fan disperses the spell’s effect into a 20 ft. cone, reducing the spell's damage dice by two steps (e.g. d6s become d3s, etc.). Targets in the cone who succeed a Reflex save (DC ##) take half damage and do not gain any conditions (e.g. dazed, poisoned, stunned) normally gained from the spell."

95 words ;)

Almost there.

What does "do damage" mean - it means reducing hit points...

so let's knock a few more words on the head :P

"Ray spells that do no damage (such as ray of enfeeblement or enervation) cannot be distorted through the fan"

whoa, hang on, let's go back to the that Three times per day line...

"Three times per day, the wielder of a Fan of Altered Energies distorts the area, range, and damage of ray and cone spells cast through it." - ok, let's reword this every so slightly...

"Three times per day, the wielder of a Fan of Altered Energies casting a damaging ray or cone spell through it distorts the spells normal area and damaging effects."

Not sure of the wording is quite right here, but the point I am getting at is you can place the limitation in this sentence and lose the whole sentence from the end, leaving just the disintegrate special case.

So your latest version was 278 words in my word count. With all the cuts suggested above, we lose nothing and ... hang on...

That intro, wow, how many sentences. One of them is definitely a Templat Fu sentence. I don't need to know about opening or closing the fan, so let's change things a little here. Drop that whole sentence and change "Three times a day, "... "Three times a day, as a swift action, the wielder of a Fan of Altered Energies casts a damaging ray or cone spell through it distorting the spells normal effects as follows:"...

Now, retrieving or changing a weapon is normally a move action unless a feat is used to speed the process up (Quick Draw?), so we don't need to mention that in the same way that any other magical item that is not normally in hand doesn't bother telling you about the move action, so we can drop that too.

Phew, so my revised version of your description now looks like this...

This small, folding courtier’s fan is comprised of seven silver spokes adhered to a piece of magically-enhanced parchment bearing a harrowing image of the desolate, blasted landscape of an ancient battlefield.

Three times a day, as a swift action, the wielder of a Fan of Altered Energies casts a damaging ray or cone spell through it distorting the spells normal effects as follows:

Casting a cone spell through a closed fan compresses the spell's effect into a 60 ft. ray, focusing the damage and increasing the spells damage dice by two steps (e.g. d3s to d6s, d4s to d8s, etc.).

Casting a ray spell through an open fan disperses the spell’s effect into a 20 ft. cone, reducing the spell's damage dice by two steps (e.g. d6s become d3s, etc.). Targets in the cone who succeed a Reflex save (DC ##) take half damage and do not gain any conditions (e.g. dazed, poisoned, stunned) normally gained from the spell.

Casting disintegrate through the fan has a 90% chance of destroying the fan.

I paste that into your top and bottom template and the whole item using these revisions comes in at 213 words.

Nice! Please bear in mind that last year, the voting public after the first few days were complaining about 300 word items, now this version is no where near that - at 278 it may have suffered from voting fatigue, at 213 it is a lot less likely to suffer from that! ;)

Don't forget to work out the DC where the ## is in my example, you still need that even in your version.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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I cant think of a "line" spell, I think they are all rays but i could be wrong. You might be able to drop "any ray or line" to just "any ray".

You also have "my passive ability at being passive" :P

A quick test you can try against any item description. (see passive :P)

Can I find and eliminate these words "if, when, can, would, should, could, shall, may"? (there are other forms of passivity, but these seem to be the most common in item descriptions)

So let's look at some of your sentences, also note my subtle future proofing range change suggestion. It also keeps things simple by using the same proportion in both directions, from ray to cone and from cone to ray.

"Three times per day, the wielder of this fan may use the fan’s properties to distort the power, range and area of magical energies. If the fan...., Alternatively, if the fan..."

hmmm, there's so many passive words, a dog as passive wouldn't even wag his own tail :P - So let's eliminate a few...

"Three times per day, the wielder of the fan distorts the area and damage of ray or cone spells cast through it."

<para break>

"Casting a cone spell through a closed fan converts the cone into a ray of double the length of the cone".

Now, ray spells all target a single target and are touch attacks (I think) so the next sentence is rule repetition, so we can drop that whole sentence. Let the players and GM just use existing ray rules.

<para break> for the second use - it makes scanning at the game table much faster ;) and let's drop Alternatively, it's rubbish text that simply isn't needed, and, ohh, another if, and a may too!

"Casting a ray spell through an open fan converts the ray into a cone half the length of the ray."

I think that illustrates how eliminating passive makes things much better - a) with less words, b) stronger in impact (saying what it IS not what it might be).

As everyone says, it's a great item, so now get rid of the passivity and make it truly shine! :D


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Uh-oh, mine wasn't one of the popular alignments >.<


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Damn, I knew I should have gone for that vampire Paladin :P

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Blast Fan - the name gets me - it just doesnt make me go wow - but as the king of bad naming, you can have that pinch of salt with this feedback ;

Changing the shapes of areas is a nice thing to try - it has proven successful in the past with a magic lantern I think it was.

I think my fellow cohorts in crime :P have picked out everything else, these last items of yours have definitely shown improvement! Well done!

---

I'm struggling this year - normally I have a shortlist of items for the competition by this time. Currently, I have none >.< - Probably because I am really busy writing PFS scenario proposals and sending samples of my work to Paizo and 3PP trying to get the door open...

How are the rest of you doing prep wise?


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Kthulhu wrote:
Anthony Adam wrote:
So, I'll cut you a deal, you type out the srd as a request list in alphabetical order and post it here and I'll add it to my list cutting and pasting from your post :P
You missed the post where I already did that. However, you're gonna have to cull through it to cut out the monsters that have already been converted.

Ah, I haven't quite gotten there yet. Getting closer though. Hopefully another update in a couple days, I have been snowed under this week with producing a PFS Scenario proposal, making sure I was in the Here Be Monsters competition and a few other bits and pieces I can't talk about :)


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MMCJawa wrote:

To be honest, now that Dreamscarred Press has a dedicated Psionic bestiary, I don't really feel much need for Pathfinder to adapt most of those monsters.

I would rather have new monsters that play with the themes for occult magic than revamp existing Psionic monsters, especially since I am not sure they actually will fit will with what Paizo is doing in Occult Adventures.

I'm hoping for some creepy and scary monsters that creep you out and scare you with their theme rather than their stats... fingers crossed.


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Kthulhu wrote:
Kthulhu wrote:

A bit of searching found me a list of the SRD monsters, that seems to be complete. You could start with this as your checklist:

** spoiler omitted **...

A few more notes: The Tomes of Horrors added a whole lot more monsters to the list of open content. All of these have already been converted to PFRPG by Frog God Games. And almost the entirety of the open content psionic monsters were converted by Dreamscarred Press in their Psionic Bestiary (a few psionic versions of regular monsters, a template that gives psionic powers, and the psionic version of the neolithid seem to have been overlooked).

Although I could add the SRD list to my list, it would be against the theme of the thread - I want to only list those creatures that people actually request and want rather than a job list of all monsters produced under open licence in other sources. To this end, when I am done with this wish list, I intend to scan the prior wish lists to include anything requested previously that is missing in this thread.

So, I'll cut you a deal, you type out the srd as a request list in alphabetical order and post it here and I'll add it to my list cutting and pasting from your post :P


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Check your printer settings when the printer dialog pops up. on my Epson, I get the option to print 2 or 4 pages to a page, which lets the printer driver and printer do all the work for me :)


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And if you post them publicly for feedback, you will find those of us taking the time to provide that feedback do so not only to help you learn and grow but also to do the same for ourselves.

This means that although we may say things we didn't like or disagree with decisions you made on your design, it doesn't make anything you have done wrong, it's just different to what we would have done. We provide the feedback so that you can think about the differences next time you do a design.

I also find anyone taking the time to give good feedback usually also refers to what they like and agree with, sometimes even saying "I wish I had thought of that!".

I know that I try to. Finding the excellent in a design is equally, if not more, important than recognizing miss-steps.


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Hmmm, I discovered something today.

Having been on Sean's marvelous games design course (which includes monster design), I seem to be having all those feelings I had when I first entered Superstar 7 years ago

Confidence - SHOT
Pressure - MAYBE
Reading threads for clues - DEFINITELY
Pressure - OK, YEAH, SOME
Second Guessing - YOU BETCHA'
Pressure - OK, OK, WORSE THAN BEFORE
Template Fu feedback practicing - MMMM, POINTS I SMELL
Pressure - SHE'S GOING TO BLOW!

:P

Come on pressure relief.... think.... think.... think...

Ah-ha! 40 entries, 5 places, that's one in 8 AND I have a fair chance - 80% ;) -of making Top 32!

Get in!


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Try creating a real character - in Traveller

- where you can die in creation !

:P

For my tuppence on the character creation, I have a mixed bunch of players around the table.

There's - I generated mine in 2 minutes using herolab, let's play!

And - I just used the PHB, I'm ready!

And even - I have every splat book, core book, option book, companion and setting, I generated mine, took me all day, but I'm ready to play (bellies up to the table, with just the books that supports his current character)

And then I have the Brain character (KODT reference)

I searched all the rules to Min Max and Break the game. Rawr! My pc rocks, you all sukzor!

What usually happens, early levels all four have fun, by level 3, everyone stands behind Brian, by level 5 Brian is soloing everything and level ups take the rest of the session - simply because that's what Brian does.

Usually by level 6 or 7, the Brian PC is so out of kilter with the party, he is asked by the party to roll up something else so they can actually play!

In short, rolling up your character takes only as long as you want it to. And if you are a Brian sort, spare a thought for those who want to get in the game and have fun WITH you. :)


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Wannabe Demon Lord wrote:

Here is the Unedited list. Note that it does include PF monsters, I know that and they won't be included with the descriptions.

** spoiler omitted **...

Awesome, and BIG THANKS for listing them alphabetically - that will make checking my sheet so much quicker and easier.


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1 day - give or take some time zone hours - so yeah, deadline is looming :)

*Sits all pleased with himself knowing he's already in.* ;)


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I think it's the same word count rules as RPG Superstar, i.e. the word count including the template - this would be how any freelancing work word count would be assessed, so it mirrors that.

I had to cut one small special ability from mine too once I had that first draft, it was only a circle of verdant growth, so didn't matter too much. :)

So look at your abilities, is any of them kind of one its own and not contributing so much to the whole theme? Then it's a word saving candidate :D


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motteditor wrote:
It's really been interesting reading them all and definitely makes me think about how I design my own monsters.

J_E_A_L_O_U_S! :P

I do hope people post to a thread after the competition, I too am still learning loads - even working through compiling the wish list has been very enlightening.


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The Evil Queen wrote:

How could al those creatures escape our list for so long?

Cuco is probably on your list, the jack-o-lantern headed boogeyman, I had that one of my lists too, but not the crocodile version.

Strangly the wiki-page about the cuca is re-directed to the Cuco, which is wrong, so if Anthony Adam adds the Cuca, please add behind her that it is the crocodile-hag version, not the boogeyman from latino myths, because wikipedia has it wrong this time.

Will do! I think Im only about 20 (or so) thread pages away from catching up now :) Edit - I'm at the top of page 40 just 12 thread pages away now - get in.

In fact, I have both cuca and cuco listed in the current version!

Adding the clarification to cuca now, it will be in the next update for you. :D

Are the additional product references being of help to anyone (the modules, AP's, etc) ?


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That's good to know, Bardess posts submissions every Wayfinder call, so I wouldn't want that reveal to have been a problem!

So how are you doing on entries - need a month to choose the top 5 yet? :P

There's just 2 full days left now! As Clark would say, "ENTER, if you do, you have already won!"

Seriously, entering is a big and brave step, but it is worth doing, stretch yourself, take the plunge!

I promise you will enjoy the experience of nail biting tension, second guessing, cringing at the typo you have only now spotted, crying because you forgot to change the spell checker to US English (Hey it happened! Once! I never forgot again... so far).

It's a roller coaster of a ride and we all know how much fun those are :D


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Ohhh, love the Teugghia - real Jekyll and Hyde thoughts running through my mind on that one :)


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Splode wrote:
All this film did is make me wish I played under a "vile temptress of a GM".

I already do, she also has other names

"The Wife."
"She who must be obeyed."
"She who is always right, especially when wrong."
"The Finance Controller."

and also as

"The one I wouldn't trade for all the tea in China!" :)
"The missing half of my soul."
"My best friend."


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Bardess wrote:
*obfuscated entry details*

Be careful you don't identify your entry - they are supposed to be anonymous during the pre-selection process and when they go up in front of Sean!


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The spreadsheet requests list has now been populated with requests up to Mid April 2014, the home stretch is in sight :)

It also includes Bonus Bestiary, Modules and AP 1-60 references, (thats all APs up to and inclusive of Skull and Shackles).

Updated list

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Mirror of Arcing Spells

Oh dear lord, this one you should have kept for Superstar, it's a lovely little thing.

That said, there are a couple of things...

"command word" - the voting public do seem to hate command words, so make the whole activation much simpler...

"Throwing the mirror to any spot within 50 feet causes it to hover and spin in place for..."

I would probably have made a new paragraph after the description and before the first effect - people have gotten used to the first power being the second paragraph - this aids scan reading during voting and similarly scan reading at the game table.

Everything else has been pretty much covered by everyone else, I just though the above was important enough to call out.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Nick Wasko wrote:
Brigg wrote:
Booklet of Harlequin Lamentations

I don't think you should capitalize gp in the cost, and I think the standard format includes "gp" in the Price section as well (correct me if I'm wrong, Anthony).

Perfectly correct, "gp" is not capitalized and should appear in both price and cost. The thing to watch for as well is there must be a space between the number and the "gp", e.g. "100 gp".

Alos ensure your number uses comma for thousands/millions separator: 1,000 and 1,000,000 etc

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Hi all

I have had a number of PMs and emails from a number of you about to embark on this amazing course and opportunity. So I am posting here the most important piece of advice that was common to everyone who messaged me.

It's simply this.

When choosing your items and monsters, try to choose the best you can, even if it means you develop a Superstar entry quality item or monster that you then can't enter into the annual competition.

Why?

Because the items and monsters of the course will be released in some sort of compiled "Class of" style pdf, which will be a pdf product that you can point to as evidence of your skills when approaching games companies for work! The better your item and monster in that product, the better the evidence you can show!

So don't shy away from using good ideas, if you can "wow" Sean during his course, then you should be able to do the same to the rest of us during the competition.

:)


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Serpent wrote:
Garrett Guillotte wrote:
Does the entry have to use the description in the Bestiary 5 wish list? If someone names a specific mythological entity but describes it in a way counter to the myth, do I have to follow the B5 wish list description, or can I use a primary source's description?
You can use the original myth.

If you go with the actual request though, link it so that if the judges compare your creation to the myths, they will be able to understand your deviation from the myths ;)


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Dragon78 wrote:
"d'Artagnan cat", strange name but might work.

Don't forget his three mouse-keteers! :P

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Cool, will have a look see at that next one in a while, it's implementation day at work so I am going to be buried under a swarm of servers (CR 99) for most of the day.

Now there's an idea for Iron Gods - the server swarm!


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Dragon78 wrote:
A creature similar to the puss n' boots fairy tale, make him small size with the swashbuckler's panache ability and fencing grace as a bonus feat. I think he would make an interesting fey creature around CR4-6 range.

Cat, d'Artagnan

Mouse, Porthos
Mouse, Aramis
Mouse, Athos

?

:P


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Cr500cricket wrote:
The Human Diversion wrote:
I want a ranged evil outsider that relies on touch attacks to put fear into the hearts of Summoners who have stupidly high ACs on their eidolons.
I just use summons.

4 horse riding gunslingers should sort that problem out :)

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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My gut feel here is this item version crosses the line of "creates more work for the players/gm" and can also give rise to situations like...

I rolled badly, initiative total 7, item used, oooh I'm shocked, re-roll - 19! + 4 = 23, so I go much faster due to shock O-o o-O O-o.

Ignoring strange situations that seem to go against the grain of being shocked, let's look at the "more work" aspects...

a) More work in tracking a variable recharge rate - I understand this could be trying to be different, which it is, but in this case, it can cause more pain in tracking what the current recharge rate is.

b) potentially a lot of changed initiatives - I already get people delaying and changing their initiative order, so forcing more on top of that - and then one of your allies was delaying until some action makes his action more spectacular when taken is suddenly usurped by forcing a change in his initiative might be none too pleased.

Initiative is a tempting target for designing in, but it can be so fluid that it is easy to create a tracking nightmare for the gm.

This is just me - my opinion - stay away from initiative, it makes me groan, it makes my head hurt - my instant reaction is "ack!, down vote!" to such items. That said, if you came up with something so blindingly clever and quick without causing me undue pain - therein lies the challenge.

For me, I don't like initiative items, it is personal, I hope my points above are taken within that light - others may like this item for different reasons, but for me, this one is a no-no.


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The Evil Queen wrote:

Don't forgot the Gigas Clam in one of the Pirate AP's.

It isn't in a bestiary, but in a pre-bestiary (for some strange reasons) together with a scylla and octopus monster I forgot the names from.

Not a problem,

APs included so far in the list

Rise of the Runelords, Curse of the Crimson Throne, Second Darkness, Legacy of Fire, Council of Thieves, Kingmaker

APs that will be added over the next few days (in this order)

Serpents Skull, Carrion Crown, Jade Regent, Skull and Shackles, Shattered Star, Reign of Winter, Wrath of the Righteous, and Mummy's Mask

(I think your Clam, etc., is in the Skull and Shackles AP)


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Dragon78 wrote:
I was looking at your list Anthony and noticed that Agmazar in the Kaiju section doesn't have a listing of where you can find his stats. He is found in the Mythic Realms campaign setting book, unless your only listing hardcover bestiaries, APs, and Modules?

I started with modules, am working through the APs, the other splat books will follow, it's just taking me some time as there is a lot to scan through.

I will probably do the splat books in the order of Core Hardbacks / Settings / Chronicles and then Companions but need to finish the APs first up to Mummys Mask - Iron Gods can be done towards the end as I catch up :)

This update has all modules and first 36 APs now in it and all the posts from the start of the thread to almost the end of March 2014, so I am well over half way now :)

I have noticed a slow down in adding stuff from the thread - I seem to have hit a discuss suggestions/repeat suggestions bit of the thread, but I am still working on it.

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Good point Curaigh - no need to spoiler an item in a practice thread, you want to encourage feedback, not hide from it :P


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Wow, 80! That was an excellent surge in the last couple of weeks, well done to everyone who submitted something! :D


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The Evil Queen wrote:
While I appriciate the efforts of combined list i still want people to wade through the topic. As such lists may list empusa (example) but not my own version of the empusa but people who read the name-only lists think about the myth first and not about the god-of-war like empusa i want. The list may give such an impession but it would be a mistake to turn the empusa into just another succubus wanabee...

You never know, once we have a full list, the thread might become a more details "version" type of posting rather than them being buried between huge lists ;)

Don't forget, on my sheet, I am gradually working in all the existing Paizo products so that you can see both where and if they have already developed a version which might just need tweaking. You can already tell which are in the currently available modules and the first 30 APs with more being referenced daily :)


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List updated some more, now includes all requests from the start of the thread through to end of Feb 2014 (about 30 ish thread pages), so I have passed the half way mark.


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Wannabe Demon Lord wrote:

Oh yes, the Dinosaur request. Sorry about that. Didn't realize I was making other people do massive amounts of work when I post this stuff. :)

Not a problem, Lots of work means lots of things to choose from when the Bestiary gets put together ;)

And the work only has to be done once, once I have my sheet, it then becomes a matter of just keeping up :)

p.s. I love dinosaurs too and there were quite a few I hadnt heard of in there which I am enjoying looking up ;)


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It seems February 2014 was month of the dinosaur request!

Updated list here :)


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MMCJawa wrote:
Anthony Adam wrote:

If anyone checks the spreadsheet over the next couple of days, I am reorganizing it a little, splitting the bestiary numbers from the modules/APs/source books so that it is a lot easier to see what's in a bestiary and what is elsewhere - this means it is getting re-saved in a semi formatted state for the next day or so.

This also means that we also have a small column being added which will allow us to mark requests as "IP/Copyrighted" so we know which requests are most unlikely/never to happen (e.g Doc Who/Star Trek/Star Wars).

something to keep in mind then is that while Paizo can't do, say, a Dalek, they could do a more generic "Evil alien aberration in a mechanical suite". I just assume when people ask for X from Y movie/book/comics, they just want something that is inspired from it.

Indeed - this is why I am keeping the request on the list, just marking it as copyright so that everyone knows when they check the list. :)


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I have mine, my problem is its from a mythology that I am not so familiar with, which means I am busy researching it at the moment which is why my list updates have slowed down.

The latest version


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Garrett Guillotte wrote:

Too many deadlines at once! I'm still trying to find a concept on the list that I like.

It's probably not going to be Miley Cyrus.

You could do the worse one,

The Beiber! :P

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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I'm going to jump around a bit as I notice things during scanning and deep reading, but here's a few more thoughts...

Template - more than 1 pound is plural ;) "lbs."

A pamphlet in the UK is a single page shoved through your door for you to place into the recycle bin :P That said, I don't care that it's 32 pages, I think you can cut those 2 "words" and have a much cleaner introduction and it doesn't restrict the page count in any way. Another reason to cut them is scanning the rest of the description, the page count has zero impact on the item itself. I am also tempted to suggest notebook rather than pamphlet based on the descriptions.

Jacob has the right of it about Golarion lore - in the competition, it can be a two edged sword, you will both gain votes from Golarion loving voters and lose votes of the generic "my campaign" voters. Personally, when I enter the competition, for round 1 items, I aim for totally generic. Should I ever achieve Top 32, I then have subsequent rounds to show off my Golarion lore - but that's just what I do and I haven't made Top 32 yet.

The style of writing has no effect on the item effects, so although its kind of nice to last calligraphy in the construction it has zero effect on the item itself and is a waste of wording. The focus of the item is that it is performer based.

Template: In the description you say "as per hideous laughter" - I can't think of a single instance in the books where it uses "per" after "as" in any item, the wording structure is "as spell/ability/etc." and as the thing referred to is a spell name, italicize it - "as hideous laughter"

Duration is too long, effectively the PC is telling a joke from his notepad of jokes, so a standard action is plenty of cost - how many words can you say in six seconds? A lot more than you think ;)

Now, if I were designing this item, on stepping back and reviewing the whole thing, I think I would widen the scope - but that's just me and I always end up at the word limit of the round >.< I would probably consider all of the performing arts, and maybe change it to instill emotions - imaging if it can be used to buff the morale of your allies or instill despair in your enemies, impress the royal court of the castle, woo the one you desire, etc. It may be that widening the scope would make it to wordy resulting in my restricting the arts, but it would be explored to see where it leads.

The reasons I would look to widen the scope are

1) The very core of the item is a spell, and is bordering on spell in a can. But you avoid this with the ending laughter making the target shaken effect - that is very good and takes it away from spell in a can very nicely. Well done.

2) It is close to being the sort of item that relies on the "tastes" of the players/gm. By widening the scope, I would be hoping to widen the appeal of the item.

3) To explore for my own benefit where the item might take me and not lock myself into a singular idea - I would keep my original design to hand in case I don't like where I end up though :)

This item's first post is leagues and miles better than your first post of the prior item! This clearly shows you have taken the lessons from your first item, digested the feedback, learnt and applied from it - this shows you are a designer willing to work towards improving his/her design skills. That is fantastic and needs to be mentioned and encouraged - keep it up.

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