Paizo Top Nav Branding
  • Hello, Guest! |
  • Sign In |
  • My Account |
  • Shopping Cart |
  • Help/FAQ
About Paizo Messageboards News Paizo Blog Help/FAQ
Efreeti

Anthony Adam's page

Goblin Squad Member. RPG Superstar 2013 Marathon Voter, 2014 Marathon Voter. Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber. 1,978 posts (2,097 including aliases). No reviews. No lists. 4 wishlists. 4 aliases.


RSS

1 to 50 of 1,978 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber
Timitius wrote:

We will actually be posting the PDF of #11 on July 4th or 5th....at the start of PaizoCon, for all of you that cannot make it.

Tim

Oh, Timitius.

On behalf of your kind readership, please allow me to allow you to not have to come in and work on Wayfinder on that great holiday known as Independence Day ;)

(I think it's always 4th July isn't it?)


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Congrats all authors.

Once the issue has been released, I will share my unsuccessful story and crunch submissions in this thread.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Spellcracker's Tools

I got confused that the spell is suppressed for 1d4 rounds by your item - does this mean the spell isn't interrupted and just delayed? If this understanding is right, if I cast an instantaneous spell say magic missile, which gets delayed for a roll of 1 round, does that mean I can still cast normally on the round the delayed spell completes?

i.e. cast magic missile, suppressed for one round, next round cast magic missile, not suppressed, both go off?

Or, do you mean that the caster cannot cast that spell for 1d4 rounds? If the latter, is it suppressing the spell being cast for casters who memorise or all memorised spells with the same name?

I also wondered about the attack of opportunity - if you are attempting to interrupt my casting mid cast, if I take the attack of opportunity, I lose the cast as the cast becomes interrupted by my own action! I suspect you might mean it provokes from enemies adjacent to you and not the caster target?

Finally, what happens to a suppressed spell that is suppressed long enough for the initial target to no longer be a valid target - free action to change targets? or spell fizzle?

Sorry if that was a bit of a ramble, work is heinous at the moment and I only managed a 10 minute scan of the thread today :(

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber
Nickolas Floyd wrote:
Anthony Adam wrote:
Pick any item found in a sewing box (needle, cotton reel, etc) and make it wondrous.

Huh. One of the items I have made up and sitting around for consideration for my entry next year, already falls within this criteria. It fits except that it is only 155 words. I'm not sure I can add 45 words to it and I'm not sure I won't want to enter it in the contest this coming year. Like every item I've made it has some pros and some cons as an entry. I think I will wait and see what others post on this assignment, but again, I'm not sure I can get up to 200 words.

Also, I just want to point out that no one has yet commented on my last posted item, Nested Dolls of Bullied Vengeance. If you are looking for something to critique it is near the end, one page back.

I wouldnt expect anyone to give up an entry worthy item of theirs, so I picked sewing box content as there are lots of thing in there to choose from, threads, needles, pins, scissors, ribbons, patches, all sorts...

So, if anyone creates an item they would rather keep, please do so.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Ok, no items for a while, so while I continue with my Top 32 detailed analysis reviews, here is an item challenge (and if your item is good enough, I may even treat the writer to a free Paizo companion pdf !)

Pick any item found in a sewing box (needle, cotton reel, etc) and make it wondrous.

When posting your chosen item, one entry per person of course :), precede the item with Bold Italic "Sewing Box Marvels Entry".

You have a word count limit for your item of.... not less than 200 words and not more than 220 words. Yeah, that should be a good challenge.

Caster level can be from 1st through 5th only.

Price must be sub 5000 gp.

Format must be per the Core Rules (as the template provided for Round 1 of Superstar).

ALL Auto Rejects listed on Sean's threads will apply rigidly - plus...

No blood or gore
No filigree
No butterflies :P

Let's say you have until the last day of April to post it up here (about the same length of time for superstar round 1).

If we suddenly get flooded with entries from new posters, I may close the entry date early so I have time to review them all.

On your marks, get set, go...


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber
Bardess wrote:

Registered, but I'll have to ask something about the use conditions...

Plus, I'm waiting for the mail round! I'd love for all three of my things to get in, but I know it's unrealistic... So I'm hoping for the feat/prestige archetype one (even if it's too long) and maybe the monster. The feats/spells one is the weakest, in my opinion.

I am also wondering if any of my three get in, I hope my item/organisation/seed combo gets picked (I know linked articles are a pain, but I am particularly proud of this submission). I'm not sure about my fiction, it was my first try at writing such and the song... well, I am always wary of printing reworked songs because of copyright issues, so I suspect that will be a no.

The main thing though is how much fun it is taking part, actually making the issue is a nice bonus, but the excitement of taking part for me is easily the big win.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber
Odraude wrote:

How do we become a member of Freelance Forge?

I believe its reasonably open to any freelance designer who wants to work with other freelance designers doing peer group reviews of superstar entries and work being done elsewhere, so there is an element of NDA in membership.

Register for the site and the administrators will like contact you to make sure you are happy to join etc. They run semi regular practice rounds of superstar too, so it's a quite lively place at times.

I have a feeling it might be open only to top 32 finalists of any year at the moment, but if you are serious into working towards freelancing, let it be known and you will most likely gain entry.

I can't be more definite as I'm not a moderator of the site, but I hope that's enough info for you to make that call to register or not. (If you scan through this years Superstar guildhall, starting here there are the initial posts leading to freelance forge being created.

I hope it helps. [/end thread derail]


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber
Timitius wrote:
William Sinclair wrote:
Sigh.... I JUST noticed this. Too late now. Ah well, next time. I really need to stay more current on the boards.
If you are on Facebook or Google+, like us. We usually cross-post there. Well, FB,at least. I've tried G+, but it seems that very few people interact over there...

Quite a few of this years Superstar finalists and regulars now work together on the freelancing boards they started this year at Freelance Forge, so when you announce any future issues, feel free to PM me and I'll cross post there for you too.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Thats always been my biggest problem, I can do good or competent, just never superstar.

Thats why I am dropping out and just doing reviews from now on. I get a kick from the odd Wayfinder article, but after 7 consecutive years of failing even to make top 100, its time to face facts and be realistic. I'm now into my 50s, so this old dog is finally admitting time to let the dream go.

I'll still be around on the superstar forums, providing critical feedback, but i think no more entry heartache for me. Best of luck to those who keep chasing that dream.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Yeah, sorry about the colons, lol, I cut and pasted from this thread during a lunchbreak - silly me >.<

I wasn't sure if climb speed applied when using a ladder, so I went for normal speed, averaging 60 foot for a double move action and I reduced the duration to one minute purely on gut feel.

I tried to distance the immovable rod by making it that the staying in place was dependent on the partner rod moving, maybe it didn't come across as I had hoped.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Ok, here's one from me for you all to have fun with - it's a reworking of an old idea I have toyed with many times. I have hopefully simplified it and made it a little less clunky than any previous attempts.

222 words (Word 2012)

Ascension Rods
Aura: faint transmutation; CL: 3rd
Slot: none; Price: 1,000 gp; Weight: 4 lbs.
Description:
A set of these solid platinum six inch bars consists of individual bars bearing one of a set of etched motifs stamped into the ends, either a left hand, a right hand, a left foot or a right foot. A complete set will contain four bars depicting each motifs, one motif per bar.

Holding the hand motif bars in the correct hands and placing feet on their partnered bars allows the bars to act as rungs of an invisible ladder. By moving one bar and one foot up or down, the other bars become fixed in place, suspended and able to bear up to 500 lbs. By moving as if traversing a ladder, the climber ascends, descends or even traverses chasms and the like, suspended as if upon an invisible ladder spanning the distance to be travelled. The bars allow movement at any angle so long as it is a straight line.

Once per day, the rungs will operate for 1 minute or traverse a distance of up to 500 feet. Should the climber be knocked free of the bars, or the duration expires, normal falling rules apply. The rungs will free fall from their current position.
Construction:
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, levitate; Cost: 500 gp

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Still working through your item reviews folks (just 9 left now), as I can get the time - just posted Earthbind Boots review, next up will be Deck of Falling Houses. I hope you are finding them useful/of interest.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Template Fu Review 2014 - Mike Kimmel - Earthbind Boots

Template Fu boilerplate: I have yet to make Top 32, therefore much of what follows is from someone learning from your item and may include suggestions you might agree with or not. Please consider anything suggested with your critical designer mind and know that nothing here is personal, it is about your item not you. I try to be thorough every year, taking an hour or more per item, so I hope you find something of value in the review that follows.

Name: The name is quite intriguing and pulled me in, that is so good, but my initial impression was that they might be some sort of anti quicksand/bog type of boots, based on binding earth. On discovery that it was to bind flyers to the ground, I found the word choice both apt and at the same time jarring. This is a difficult one, I can't think of a better alternative.
Template Fu scores you 8/10 on this.

Template Usage: Although you executed the template perfectly, you used a lot of older and clunky phrasing.
For example, "Once per day, the wearer of the boots may activate them as a standard action by stomping on the ground..." - 20 words - just to deal with activation. So how much do we need and did you fall into common traps?
Yes, first one is the dreaded passive voice, "could, may, should, can,... etc" - "may activate", shudder, "activates" - much better, dynamic and stronger.
Other things in that sentence that jar are "wearer of the boots" and "as a standard action".
So how could yo have written that first sentence? This is my stab, it's one possibility, but I hope it is useful to you.
"Once per day, stomping hard on the ground causes waves of thunderous force to roll out to 180 feet, ensnaring airborne creatures in its grip and forcing them to the ground."
I didn't mention standard action, because that is the normal action for activating an item, and I didn't use wearer of the boots as that can safely be assumed. I also replaced the list of how creatures are "flying" with the term airborne as that term covers all.
Your first two sentences - 47 words - my version, I think is cleaner, clearer and only 31 words. One thing I have noticed in the round 1 public voting is that the voting public vote for short easy to read items. I guess this may be due to voting tiredness as one factor, but easy reading is a big score too.
I know removing clunky over wordiness is hard (look at my reviews >.<), so this is something we can both work on :)
The only other feedback, and probably due to the wordiness of the description, is "wall of text" - look for feature breaks - you could have para broken between the landing text and the save resolutions. This would break the description into base effect of pulling a creature down and then special cases.
Template Fu scores you 8/10 on this.

Game Balance: My first gut reaction was the 180 foot range. That felt huge. I did a quick check against dragon flying speeds, (100ft - 250ft). So a dragon with a 250 foot movement, the great wyrm, if doing a strafing run needs to start more than 180 feet away, but ends only 70 feet past the party - hmmm, this makes the most dangerous of creature vulnerable to the boots range. On reflection I think dropping this to 120 foot would be a better choice - the same strafing run by the great wyrm can now start at just over 120 feet away and will finish with the dragon just out of range again. This is a personal gut feel though. 180 isn't unreasonable in the main, I just felt it was a bit too much is all.
The will save was spot on, but I did wonder if size should be a modifier on this save - pulling a sparrow to the ground should be relatively easy, but a great ancient wyrm - hmmm, maybe not so. Or the type of flying maneuverability - a clumsy flyer would be easier to pull down than a good flyer for example.
I found the 9 rounds slightly odd for keeping the creature on the ground, I would have allowed a Will save every round during this time for the creature to shake of the effects and be able to fly again. Most combats against a single creature do not last 9 rounds, five-six is around the average. I would probably drop the 9 to 6.
Template Fu scores you 7/10 on this.

Cinematics:
Sight - check, wonderful imagery marred by clunky wording.
Sound - check, nice thunderous complement to the effect
Smell - my first reaction was doesn't apply, but thunderstorms and the like do sometimes have an ozone/metallic smell to them, so you possibly could have played off this
Taste - doesn't apply
Touch - missed opportunity - are they comfortable to wear, cushioned against stomping on hard ground etc?
Cinematic Summary The visual and sound aspects combine to a satisfying imagery - very well done.
Template Fu scores you 18/20 on this.

Musings, Meme, and One Step Further:
The only thing I wondered was if the stomp could also radiate out through the ground, creating a momentary shock wave that could render those already on the ground to save or become prone. I think this might overpower the item on reflection even though it would make the effect seem more cohesive and complete. Something to think about perhaps.
I think all the tweaks mentioned in Game Balance should be examined, as this item is very close to perfect and just needs some small tweaking and a bit of de-cluttering on the wording.
Template Fu scores you 16/20 on this.

Your final score for this item is 57/70, or 81% - A very visual and fun item marred only by over wordiness.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber
Ignotus Advenium wrote:

Good luck everyone!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for my submission, which is one of the 25 bestiary entries.

The creature would have been my RPGSS 2014 2nd round entry, had my wondrous item(s) advanced (Vinculum Vests).

Whether I make it in or not, I'm looking forward to the new pub. I'm relatively new to this site, Wayfinder and RPGSS, and I'm finding a lot to like. I recently reviewed and read Wayfinder #10 and found it very enjoyable. The Genie-in-a-bottle mini adventure was a highlight.

Thank you for those kind words.

I wrote that mini adventure using all of the encounter feedback from the previous years of RPG Superstar, so a lot of the credit should go to every contestant, judge and feedback author of those prior rounds.

It was my first attempt of writing up an encounter I had designed, so I was very surprised and delighted it was chosen for that issue.

So there you go, all you lurkers, you can do it (especially if I can :P). Take the plunge, even though you may have missed this deadline, there will be more issues to come.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber
Mark D Griffin wrote:
I had the sinking feeling this monster would be absolutely nobody's cup of tea but mine. I swear it was really clever the day I read that companion book for Irrisen.

Lol, we have all been there, many many times. In my case, around December and January every year for the last seven years >.<


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Wow, 133! That is quite amazing folks.

So basically we have around a 1 in 3 chance of making the issue on average.

Unfortunately for me, mine are 1 in 15, 1 in 19 and 1 in 7. Just like the yearly Superstar meme, I hit the popular categories pretty accurately here too, grin.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

The mismatch that leaps out immediately, which I am not sure is easily fixable, is Plural: men, Singular: man and a line of "has no gender" - oopsie. It's a small thing but does kind of bump out when noticed.

Then I also notice they are described as "humanoid and animal shaped" - hmmm, so men is probably a bit misleading, maybe "beast"? or somthing like that would be better.

It's a consistency thing really, one of those niggly things that if this were a superstar entry, could turn voters away after a while.

I hope that snippet helps.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber
Timitius wrote:
Anthony Adam wrote:
Hey Tim/Paris, we still have a couple of days to deadline, so any chance of an article count update so we can see if there are some gaps needing plugging?

We have 96 submissions as of right now.

<snip>

Awesome, just 4 short of your initial target -

WELL DONE!!!

... to every person who submitted whether your article gets selected or not! And...

GOOD LUCK!

... to all the editors and artists end everyone involved with the task of reviewing, selecting and putting the issue together.

As a reward(?) for your sterling submission efforts, if your article(s) do not get selected, you could post them to the Blazing 9 thread where I will endeavor to perform a Template Fu review on them for you (and you might even get some other thread participants provide you valuable feedback too - it's what we do in that thread!)

Those of you who do get selected, congratulations - please keep your article secret so we all get a nice surprise on release day :)


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Me too, just sent in a third submission - this is the first issue where I have sent in more than one submission too!

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

OK, Submission no 3 for Wayfinder 11 - lol, with humblest apologies to Andrew Lloyd Webber, and the Phantom of the Opera...

So, what do you think to this lyric mangling effort...?

ABROGAIL:
In sleep he spoke to me
In dreams he came
That voice which calls to me and speaks my name
And do I dream again for now I find
The Devil Asmodeus is there
Inside my mind

ASMODEUS:
Rise once again with me
Accept our duet
My power over you grows stronger yet
And though you turn from me to glance behind
I Asmodeus reside always
Inside your mind.

ABROGAIL:
I who have seen your face
Shall feel no fear
I am the mask you wear

ASMODEUS:
It's me they hear...

ABROGAIL & ASMODEUS:
Your/My spirit and my/your voice in one combined
You/I, Asmodeus, always here
Inside my/your mind

PEOPLE OF CHELIAX:
He's there, the Devil Asmodeus!
Beware, the Devil Asmodeus!

ASMODEUS:
In all your fantasies, you always knew
devil and mystery

ABROGAIL:
Were both in you

ABROGAIL & ASMODEUS:
And in Golarion land
where night is blind
the great Asmodeus is here,
inside my/your mind

ABROGAIL:
He's there, the Devil Asmodeus

ASMODEUS:
Rise, my Angel of Terror
Rise, my Angel
Rise for me
Rise, my Angel!
Rise for me!

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Not long until the Wayfinder 11 deadline folks, and remember your time zones!

*cracks whip*

So get to submitting, don't leave it to the last moment and then have an internet fail.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Hey Tim/Paris, we still have a couple of days to deadline, so any chance of an article count update so we can see if there are some gaps needing plugging?

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Thanks everyone, for all the help - I learnt a lot from all the feedback and attempting to write linked articles for the first time.

It is now winging it's way through the ether to the submission desks of Wayfinder. Fingers crossed.

Now the Wayfinder work is done (with 3 days to spare!), I can get back to finishing my Template Fu item reviews and then make a start on the submissions in this thread :)


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Sent. Now begins the nail biting, waiting and wondering - grin.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber
Anthony Adam wrote:

Item is done, and under Blazing 9 review, finishing off a related Organisation and then just the Side Trek Seed to do. Gonna be tight, but I am on schedule (if not just ahead) so far.

Fingers crossed!

Done, Done and Done - whoo hoo! Grin.

All three now under review by my review circle with 3 days to spare!

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Hey all

Here is the third part of my Wayfinder 11 submission - the first draft of the Side Trek Seed.

It's a bit wordy at the moment, so needs some revision, but I would appreciate any feedback you are able to provide.

Many thanks

Egorian, Cheliax – House Championship
Plot Hook
If the PCs are playing as loyalists to House Thrune, they are approached by an agent noble house to act as champions in the forthcoming annual house championships held in Egorian’s arena. Should they be working against House Thrune, they are approached by either an agent of House Thrune pretending to be a member of The Way of Indelible Truth or one of that organization's octernion.
They are advised that a deposed noble was captured recently and put to the arena by House Thrune. This noble knows of the location of a sacred artifact of Aroden that must be retrieved – the agent of House Thrune intends to destroy it, otherwise it is to be preserved and secreted away to safety. To that end the PCs must enter the arena, identify the noble, win his trust and keep him alive, making him a member of their party as the rules of championship combat dictate (see background). The noble knows that this information is his only route out of the arena and so will not divulge this information to anyone at any time, even to the PCs.
Arrangements are made that the PCs are taken to the arena 3 days before the grand contest, where they will billet amongst all combatants. It is during this three days they need to locate and identify the target of their search.
Background
Once per year, House Thrune holds a Championship in the Egorian arena, consisting of multiple bouts, some house versus house and some house champions versus slaves. The latter events being a thinly disguised method of cleaning house. Instead of the actual nobles of a house taking part in the arena, they are allowed to proxy champions in their stead, encouraged and approved of by House Thrune as a way of preventing the loss of staunch allies to a lucky blade.
The house versus house results affect a houses rank within the noble hierarchy and their esteem by House Thrune. They are fought fiercely unto the death of all of a house’s champions. The house versus slaves events are fought to the death of all slaves. Rarely, a slave fights so well that the house champions offer them leniency should they elect to join them against the remaining slaves. This must be offered to the slave by a house champion during the contest, a slave asking for this boon is always killed. It is this route that the agent wishes the PCs to take.
Potential Resolutions
Should the PCs fail to identify the noble agent, or they fail to protect him during the championship bouts, he dies resulting in all arrangements to retrieve the PCs from the arena are cancelled. They are left as arena slaves seeking their own route to freedom.
If the PCs successfully protect the noble agent, the resolution depends on whether you chose to play the introduction that the employer was a member of The Way of Indelible Truth or was an agent of House Thrune.
For the former, the PCs and the agent are bought and paid for by an anonymous party who arranges their safe delivery to a safe house where they meet their employer who rewards them for a job well done.
For the latter, only the noble agent is bought out of the arena. The PCs, realizing they have been duped, hear through the slave vine of his summary trial and execution. Should they escape their current predicament, they may plot and enact their revenge.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Thanks - I actually have a few ideas for book bindings that I developed while developing this Wayfinder targetted item - so I am hanging on to those at the moment.

I will revisit the item wording once more, but wanted to get some positive feedback first regarding suitability for Wayfinder 11, which I now have.

I managed to get my notes in order and double checked the references to the Cheliax Companion, so here is the Organisation in full for the first time :) (and I have now remembered to swap my spell checker to US English, so all those "our" endings are sorted :P

The Way of Indelible Truth
Alignment: NG
Headquarters: Two main headquarters exist, Verso, located in Egorian, and Recto, located in Westcrown.
Leader: Verso Folium leads Verso, Recto Folium leads Recto. These hereditary names are assumed on taking office as an identity protection for the leaders.
Structure: Nationalist Hierarchy
Scope: National
Resources: Real property and liquid assets worth tens of millions of gold piece across Cheliax. Sixty percent of this held equally between the two headquarters.

During the treacherous break of Molthune from Cheliax in the year 4632, a number of nobles of Westcrown, fearing the total break up of Cheliax and an end to their own power and holdings, formed an alliance to preserve the ideals, society, treasures and noble lines of the true and powerful Cheliax from which their lines ascended.

The organization was driven underground during the years of the interregnum and the rise of the House of Thrune as they had been publicly denounced as seditionists and traitors to the new Cheliax order.

In order to provide resilience to the organizations continued existence, a second headquarters was formed in the new capital, Egorian. This also provided closer monitoring of the activities of the House of Thrune and expedited the discovery of noble lines in danger of being deposed allowing the order to quickly move in and save more noble lines, to capture stolen historical artifacts en route to those loyal to the ruling houses.

They work tirelessly behind the scenes, bringing those of true noble blood, survivors and strays loyal to the old ways, to the safety of their hidden safe houses; preparing those they save to spread dissension, to plot and grow in power, to build their bands and armies in secret with the final aim of tearing down the House of Thrune and restoring the original Cheliax order.

Structure and Leadership

The two leaders each have a tome encased between two halves of a matched pair of Indelible Bindings, facilitating secret two way communication between them when needed. These tomes are reverently referred to as the bifolium.

Reporting to the leaders are the chapter house heads dispersed throughout all major towns and cities of Cheliax, referred to collectively as the quire. Each of these heads will have four, six or eight direct subordinates depending on the size of the town or city they reside in. These subordinates are known as duernion (four), ternion (six) or quarternion (eight) but are treated as equals should they meet.
It is these individuals that, through the use of adventuring parties and Annalist Bindings, locate and retrieve the articles, treasures and lost nobles who form the true history and lifeblood of Cheliax as they deem it should be. All that work through them are referred to as signatures.

Goals

Their greatest desire is the preservation of the true histories and bloodlines of Cheliax, seeing this as the only way to ensure that Cheliax is kept pure and able to rise once more to its illustrious heights without the need of any pacts with devils or any other external agencies. They fully intend to achieve this using whatever means necessary, be it acquiring historical treasures, secreting away survivors of deposed noble lines, subversive activities to undermine the ruling houses, assassinations, thievery, seeding of dissent, and so on.

Public Perception

Those loyal to house Thrune and their view of the future of Cheliax regard members and adventurers working for this organization as traitors, although any noble who finds they have fallen into disfavor will often quickly change their allegiance. Those few who have escaped the bands of slavery see this organization as a life line, an escape from the slavers noose, and a cause they can join to re-establish Cheliax to its purest and greatest heights.

Just the associated Side Trek Seed to write up and I am then in full edit mode with about 3 days to spare >.<, grin.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Item is done, and under Blazing 9 review, finishing off a related Organisation and then just the Side Trek Seed to do. Gonna be tight, but I am on schedule (if not just ahead) so far.

Fingers crossed!

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

I just have the intro part left to do and my first draft organisation will be complete, with the latest revisions, it now stands thusly...

The Way of Indelible Truth
Alignment: NG
Headquarters: Two main headquarters exist, Verso, located in Egorian, and Recto, located in Westcrown.
Leader: Verso Folium leads Verso, Recto Folium leads Recto. These hereditary names are assumed on taking office as an identity protection for the leaders.
Structure: Nationalist Hierarchy
Scope: National
Resources: Real property and liquid assets worth tens of millions of gold piece across Cheliax. Sixty percent of this held equally between the two headquarters.

{An approximately 100-word introductory paragraph.}

Structure and Leadership
The two leaders each have a tome encased between two halves of a matched pair of Indelible Bindings, facilitating secret two way communication between them when needed. These tomes are reverently referred to as the bifolium.
Reporting to the leaders are the chapter house heads dispersed throughout all major towns and cities of Cheliax, referred to collectively as the quire. Each of these heads will have four, six or eight direct subordinates depending on the size of the town or city they reside in. These subordinates are known as duernion (four), ternion (six) or quarternion (eight) but are treated as equals should they meet.
It is these individuals that, through the use of adventuring parties and Annalist Bindings, locate and retrieve the articles, treasures and lost nobles who form the true history and lifeblood of Cheliax as they deem it should be. All that work through them are referred to as signatures.
Goals
Their greatest desire is the preservation of the true histories and bloodlines of Cheliax, seeing this as the only way to ensure that Cheliax is kept pure and able to rise once more to its illustrious heights without the need of any pacts with devils or any other external agencies. They fully intend to achieve this using whatever means necessary, be it acquiring historical treasures, secreting away survivors of deposed noble lines, subversive activities to undermine the ruling houses, assassinations, thievery, seeding of dissent, and so on.
Public Perception
Those loyal to house Thrune and their view of the future of Cheliax regard members and adventurers working for this organisation as traitors, although any noble who finds they have fallen into disfavor will often quickly change their allegiance. Those few who have escaped the bands of slavery see this organisation as a life line, an escape from the slavers noose, and a cause they can join to re-establish Cheliax to its purest and greatest heights.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Thanks for all the feedback guys, very helpful...

Here is a revised version - rather than names after historical theme, I have taken the name a different route, that of indelible history. This has also changed the Organisation name to "The Way of Indelible Truth"

Indelible Bindings
Aura[b] faint illusion and divination; [b]CL 7th
Slot none; Price[b] 6,000 gp; [b]Weight
Description
Shimmering golden letters lift from the passages of misinformation and lies of the historical tome encased by these scarlet hued leather bindings. The letters shift, rearranging to represent the true historical accounts of those events the tomes represent. The bindings are separate, rent apart when ripped from the original editions of Cheliaxan History.

Placing both covers around any historical tome, which has more than one version or issue, will result in the amendments, additions and deletions since the previous edition to be illustrated to the reader as they review each pages content, providing a +4 circumstance bonus to Knowledge checks related to research into noble bloodlines, houses, and history of Cheliax as they occurred rather than how they are represented.

Separating the covers over two editions will result in all changes being shown from the earliest edition covered by the front binding to the edition housed by the rear binding, providing the same circumstance bonus on the same research. This style of use also allows writing written into the tome encased by the front binding to be retrieved as an addition by the rear binding, facilitating a method of one way communication. The two bindings must be on the same plane of existence when separated in this manner.

Being caught with these bindings in Cheliax is regarded as high treason, resulting in immediate public execution.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, illusory script, witness, creator must be a bard and member of The Way of Indelible Truth; Cost 3,000 gp

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber
Grumpus wrote:
Anthony Adam wrote:


Annalist Bindings
Aura faint illusion and divination; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 8,000 gp; Weight
Description
These crimson leather bound cover forms a binding for a historical tome. The spine is split centrally for the length, resulting in two separate book covers, caused when they were ripped from the original edition of the Historical Annals of Cheliax.
Placing both covers on any edition of the same historical tome allows the reader to discern any differences between the original text and the text currently bound between the covers.
Placing the covers over two editions of the same tome will allow the reader of the tome sporting the back cover to discern the changes between it and the tome with the front cover.
Placing...

As the top-32 guy who used the unfortunate special ability name "Taint Liquor" for my monster entry, I wonder if using the term 'annal' is a good idea as it will lead to all sorts of sophomoric jokes due to being similar to the word 'anal'.

Probably not the type of feedback you are looking for.

All feedback is good feedback. I chose annalist because it seemed a more interesting and less bland word than "historical".

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Here is where I am up to with the organisation, it should help put things into context a bit more for you.

True Annalists
Alignment: NG
Headquarters: Two main headquarters exist, Verso, located in Egorian, and Recto, located in Westcrown.
Leader: Verso Folium leads Verso, Recto Folium leads Recto. These hereditary names are assumed on taking office as an identity protection for the leaders.
Structure: Nationalist Hierarchy
Scope: National
Resources: Real property and liquid assets worth tens of millions of gold piece across Cheliax. Sixty percent of this held by the two headquarters.

{This section is an approximately 100-word introductory paragraph summarizing the organization.}

Structure and Leadership
The two leaders each have two tomes, wrapped in alternate covers of a pair of Annalist Bindings, allowing them to organise meetings and ensure secure communication in both directions. These tomes are reverently referred to as the bifolium.
Reporting to the leaders are the chapter house heads dispersed throughout all major towns and cities of Cheliax, referred to collectively as the quire. Each of these heads will have four, six or eight direct subordinates depending on the size of the town or city they reside in. These subordinates are known as duernion (four), ternion (six) or quarternion (eight) but are treated as equals should they meet.
It is these individuals that, through the use of adventuring parties and Annalist Bindings, locate and retrieve the articles, treasures and lost nobles who form the true history and lifeblood of Cheliax as they deem it should be. All that work for the organisation through these individuals are referred to as signatures.
Goals
{This section is an approximately 100-word paragraph on this topic.}
Public Perception
{This section is an approximately 50-word paragraph on this topic.}

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Hi all

A bit of explanation for this item for you.

It is being worked on for Wayfinder #11, as part of an article on an organisation I have called True Annalists. In order for the editors to have maximum flexibility on their selections, I have attempted to write the submission such that certain text can be removed allowing item, organisation etc to stand on their own without the intrinsic link. So although I have placed some bold italic where there would not normally be any, this is to show the editors (and you) which text could be eliminated safely.

This is the item currently. It breaks a few (few?) auto rejects, but the editors thought the on-theme-ness of the base idea should outweighed these, so I am very interested in what my fellow superstars think ;) It has background / history tied to the constant rewriting of Chelaxian history, is plot device in the main but I think also provides some one way messaging utility too.

The other subtle change I have made to how I build my items is to describe the benefits separately from the visual effects - not sure if that's better or worse, so again, comment on this aspect please. My first thought is it seems to have avoided my usual clunkiness to some degree.

Enjoy.

Annalist Bindings
Aura faint illusion and divination; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 8,000 gp; Weight
Description
These crimson leather bound cover forms a binding for a historical tome. The spine is split centrally for the length, resulting in two separate book covers, caused when they were ripped from the original edition of the Historical Annals of Cheliax.
Placing both covers on any edition of the same historical tome allows the reader to discern any differences between the original text and the text currently bound between the covers.
Placing the covers over two editions of the same tome will allow the reader of the tome sporting the back cover to discern the changes between it and the tome with the front cover.
Placing the two covers on two tomes that are blank allows text to be written to the tome with the front cover to appear as a difference on the back covered tome. Only text from the front tome can be transmitted in this manner.
When used in any of these ways, the pages of the tome attached to the back cover reveals differences as follows:
The text added or changed shimmers on the page. For text that was removed, a shimmering line scores the page where the text would have lain. Touching these shimmers results in light floating up and out of the page, hovering inches above the book as it cracks, bends and reshapes itself into the original text.
Being caught with these bindings in Cheliax is regarded as high treason, resulting in immediate public execution.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, illusory script, witness, creator must be a Chelaxian bard and member of the True Annalists; Cost 4,000 gp

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber
Anthony Adam wrote:
Familiar's Soulstone is up - next will be Amulet of Reverse Incantation

Amulet review is up, and next will be Earthbind Boots.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Template Fu Review 2014 - Mikael Sebag - Amulet of Reverse Incantation

Template Fu boilerplate: I have yet to make Top 32, therefore much of what follows is from someone learning from your item and may include suggestions you might agree with or not. Please consider anything suggested with your critical designer mind and know that nothing here is personal, it is about your item not you. I try to be thorough every year, taking an hour or more per item, so I hope you find something of value in the review that follows.

Name: The name is very evocative of the effect of the item, it reiterates the base function in a simple easy to recall manner - that is very good, but for me, it was not an exciting name. I don't know how it could be made more exciting as it is so closely tied to the item function though, so I think it is as good a name for this item as you are likely to get.
Template Fu scores you 7/10 on this.

Template Usage: You executed the template perfectly, including the alphabetical ordering of the spells in the construction. I like the simplicity of the breakdown by paragraph on the description, but like the judges found the sentences within those paragraphs clunky, requiring me to scan them two or three times to be sure of my understanding. An example of this is in the Diametric effect - I initially wondered about normal counter spelling where, with a readied action, I can spellcraft check the other casters spell and cast the same spell as a counter spell. I think what you mean is that the amulet affects only those spells that specifically counter different spells to itself as listed in its description, but it took a few reads to fully get this.
You can remove tongues from the construction requirements, it isn't needed at all, you already know the words to cast the spell so casting them in reverse order is not an issue.
Template Fu scores you 9/10 on this.

Game Balance: I do wonder, on diametric effect, if it could allow for future spells and greater flexibility on the conversion, for example, expeditious retreat increases speed for the round, so it could be argued that the diametric opposite could be slow, which would then allow that also to be used to counter a haste spell. Another example, a fireball countering a cone of cold? This would provide greater flexibility for counter spelling when you don't have the specific spell in memory. I suspect word count would be an issue down this route, so I think settling on only specific spells with specific counter effects was a wise choice.
Alignment effect, I can see why detect was included here, its a very obvious completeness thing, but I do find myself wondering if it is truly necessary. Effectively my detect good would become detect evil, but as a PC fighting the cause of good, why would I not go around with detect evil as my spell of choice? Now that said, if it also worked on spell like abilities, this opens the item for use by other non casting classes. For example a paladin could three times a day detect goodness when he normally detects evil for example. I do wonder if there was a reason that it did not include spell like abilities, I suspect due to being tied to the act of spell casting.
The third effect, Cure/Inflict, was for me a little munchkin, it basically allows the spontaneous casting choice of a cleric to be circumnavigated. I personally found this one a little cheesey.
The very last line I think can be disposed of as well - the casting of a spell forwards or backwards is still the cost action of the round, so the amulet allowing this to be done as part of the spell casting cost can be assumed part of that cost.
Template Fu scores you 8/10 on this.

Cinematics:
Sight - check, the imagery is good but the description was clunky indeed.
Sound - missed opportunity - does it sizzle/crackle etc as it reverses the spell energies and effects?
Smell - doesn't apply
Taste - doesn't apply
Touch - missed opportunity - does it feel warm / cold, change in weight or anything based on the conversion taking effect?
Cinematic Summary The item imagery is well defined, but I think the item imagery when actually effecting spells being cast is what is missing here.
Template Fu scores you 15/20 on this.

Musings, Meme, and One Step Further:
The one thing I would like this item to do, is to be able to be used as a readied action to reverse another casters spell. Imagine a caster who casts a devastating "enemies only" spell finding it suddenly affecting his allies instead. This would effectively give another option to countering another casters spell. I'm not sure how I would integrate it, as I suspect some sort of backwards spell as part of the readied action would ensure game balance is preserved, but the possibilities this would have given in game...
Template Fu scores you 15/20 on this.

Your final score for this item is 54/70, or 77% - A very clever item marred only by sentence complexity.

Goblin Squad Member

Apologies if this is asked elsewhere but I am having a devil of a time finding it.

I received the latest email update (thank you) with a message about updating your kickstater reward.

Now, step 1 - go to Paizo.com - I did.

Step 2 - access my account - so far so good.

Step 3 - Click the manage my pledge in the kickstarter section.

Now this is where it goes awry. There is no "Kickstarter" section but I do have "My Pledge Drives" section.

There is a button here called "View or Claim Kickstarter Pledges"

So I click that think that is what is meant by "Manage My Pledge" in the mail.

I get my list of pledges and click Details next to the Pathfinder Online one.

This takes me to a page showing lots of add ons and a list of fulfilled pdf's etc and expected deliveries of the items not yet sent.

No Manage button.

So, basically - what is it the email is asking me to do? I have received loads of pdfs already and as far as I can tell my Pathfinder online pledge is managed and acknowledged already?

Is it a case that the instructions don't marry up to the sections and buttons anymore?

Many thanks in advance

Anthony.

p.s. posting this here as I suspect I may not be the only confused and befuddled individual ;)

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Okay, here is the theme of my first item I am working on for the Cheliax Wayfinder issue.

This is the core idea behind the item, and I know it breaks a few Auto Reject rules, but in the case of this item's theme, I kind of think it will be difficult to avoid...

The item is an empty book cover and spine.

When wrapped around the Cheliax history books that are constantly revised, the pages of the wrapped book reveal the changes made since the previous issue.

The text of names and history added or changed shimmer on the page, touching the shimmering words causes them to float out of the page and reform the original text unaltered.

For text that has been removed, a shimmering line scores the page where the text would have lain. Touching it results in the line floating up, cracking, bending and separating into letters and words, forming the removed text.

If the text refers to a noble house or personage that has been assassinated by the ruling powers, the text blushes a blood red hue.

Plot Item. Item "knows" things, so makes the GM job harder. Two that immediately spring to mind.

So what do you think?

(Formatted first draft will be posted this weekend).


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

And it's away! 1474 words in the end - phew!

Now, for items, I have one idea already but the problem is that to own such a wondrous item would be regarded as highly treasonous in Cheliax - this makes it a kind of dangerous/plot item to own and which breaks some of the RPG Superstar Auto Rejects for item design.

If you are still short on items though, I can write it up and send that in as well.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Familiar's Soulstone is up - next will be Amulet of Reverse Incantation

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Template Fu Review 2014 - Michele La Barbera - Familiar's Soulstone

Template Fu boilerplate: I have yet to make Top 32, therefore much of what follows is from someone learning from your item and may include suggestions you might agree with or not. Please consider anything suggested with your critical designer mind and know that nothing here is personal, it is about your item not you. I try to be thorough every year, taking an hour or more per item, so I hope you find something of value in the review that follows.

Name: As an avid World of Warcraft player, I immediately gut reacted to the term "soulstone" - the warlocks ability to preserve his life for a self rezz when he dies. I winced when I saw the description followed closely this in game effect. As the auto reject reason states, bringing tech/film/computer game items into your designs does reflect on your originality and inventiveness. Fortunately, you avoided replicating completely this widely known ability and showed design chops and flexibility by limiting it to just familiars. It is this very clever move that probably saved you getting auto reject down voted by the regulars.
Template Fu scores you 7/10 on this.

Template Usage: You executed the template perfectly, including noting the use of none for the slot from the errata - well done. I like also that you tried to make the various effects scan-able by breaking the wall of text that is so often found in the shorter items. Well done again! This makes your item very easy to scan, and probably won you a lot of votes against its item pairs.
Template Fu scores you 10/10 on this.

Game Balance: There is a lot of good game balancing decisions on the item. I particularly like the destruction of the gem as part of the resurrection of your familiar. This makes the item a consumable, albeit that the consumption can be a wide variance of time - how often does a familiar die? If it's weekly, I would have a word with your GM ;)
I did wonder what destroy the gem means - would there be fragments of gemstone that could be sold to a jeweller to recover some of the gem value or does it disintegrate into nothingness - this is something to consider when you have an item based on an in game form of currency.
The last line regarding the witch's familiar - ask yourself this - would it have been better to say "A familiar that has stored spells retains those stored spells when brought back to life by the gem."? This would have allowed you to cover the eventuality of familiar feats that imbue familiars with some level of casting ability.
My biggest issue I think with the game balance, is that I can bond my familiar and then store the gem well away from any encounters that take place, there is no line of sight nor familiar must be within xxx feet of the gem when it dies. This I think should have been present, the same plane of existence is not limiting enough I think.
Template Fu scores you 9/10 on this.

Cinematics:
Sight - check, good imagery - it is easy to see how the item is used.
Sound - missed opportunity - does it sizzle when it draws the soul in or passes it back out? Is there a sound when a soul is released after a 24 hour period and the soul is lost?
Smell - doesn't apply, the base item rarely smells
Taste - doesn't apply
Touch - missed opportunity - does it feel warm and alive when holding a soul, does it throb with the familiars heartbeat when bonded?
Cinematic Summary I really struggle to shake the Warcraft soulstone imagery, which is both good and bad. The good is that it is such a string image, it really brings the item to life, the bad is, it's a Warcraft thing and some people really don't like that sort of association.
Template Fu scores you 16/20 on this.

Musings, Meme, and One Step Further:
So all those familiar loving classes get to save their beloved little beastie, but not those who have animal companions? Yes, this could have been taken that extra step to include animal companions size small or smaller for example. This would have widened the appeal of the item to more classes.
Russell said he wanted one for his dog, so why not? We could have included pets, dogs, etc for all classes to benefit for those players that have their in game cats, dogs, etc.
And this suddenly makes me realize another issue with the item.
My familiar dies because of old age - should I really be able to raise dead, won't he just die again due to old age? This should have been considered in the description, limiting it to save the familiar from being killed, but old age is old age.
Template Fu scores you 16/20 on this.

Your final score for this item is 58/70, or 83% - A very cool item for familiar using classes.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

For those of you still waiting for your item review, I will get to them soon, I'm just a bit snowed under right now with a looming Wayfinder deadline on top of everything else >.<

I will continue through them all as I can, so keep popping back once a week.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Yes, I picked the winner!

Um, er, I mean Congratulations! ;)

I really loved the potential of your proposal, so bring it to fruition and we fans will have a real treat to look forward to!


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Lol, i think the ground bones of captured forum trolls is an ingredient.

And now, for some superstar review feedback revenge :P

That opening intro of the golem is way too long and assumes far too much action!

Mr. Daigle would be proud ;)


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

So many of us saying how we wish we had met or gamed with the fine fellow.

But we have!

Everytime we read his words, remember fine moments in our encounters, we oft forget the writers on the cover, and inside. Take a look, what are you running / playing right now?

I would bet more than one book involved has been across this mans desk.

So, you see, we all play with the man, every time we roll those dice.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

I voted for the one I wanted to play the most as both a player and as a GM, and the originality of Daughters of Fury just edged the vote.

Yes there are some technical issues, but the module for the pitch will go through editing processes, allowing me to concentrate on the promise of the pitch.

For me it was the wow factor of the pitch and so congratulations to Daughters of Fury for taking my vote.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Bog boots review now up (I am getting there!) ;)

Next up will be : Familiar's Soulstone.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Template Fu Review 2014 - Michael Patrick - Bog Boots

Template Fu boilerplate: I have yet to make Top 32, therefore much of what follows is from someone learning from your item and may include suggestions you might agree with or not. Please consider anything suggested with your critical designer mind and know that nothing here is personal, it is about your item not you. I try to be thorough every year, taking an hour or more per item, so I hope you find something of value in the review that follows.

Name: The name is simple and effective, instantly calling to mind the main effect of the item. The name is perfect for the item, but doesn't really scream excitement - in this case, I think your name choice is spot on, but I can't help wondering if and how it could be made more enticing.
Template Fu scores you 9/10 on this.

Template Usage: Ah ha - more food for Template Fu. Your spells should be listed in alphabetical order and your cost is missing both a comma and a space before the gp. The overall item is quite short, which is nice, but in this case does leave the item open to some interpretation and even abuse by clever players - these will be shown in Game Balance below.
One of the spells listed is dimension door. This whole secondary effect seems tacked on and spell in a can. You could have taken the dimension door spell and warped it into a bog walk effect, describing it in similar terms to tree walking.
The price seems reasonable, but due to the game balance issues, the fixes may affect the price. For now though, I am happy enough with the pricing.
Template Fu scores you 7/10 on this.

Game Balance: Right, there are a number of things that should be clarified in the item that could leave holes for clever players. Let's start with plant life. Now, a bog, even a shallow one, could have trees, misshapen and ugly but trees all the same. Now 24 squares in a straight line is 120 feet, so basically, I can create a long line of bog and at the feet of the poor soul 120 feet away, I can create a fully grown bog tree under him, lifting him into the air? Shouldn't he get a saving throw? And that is quite some range of effect for such an action. I think just 12 squares would more than suffice considering the flexibility that the move action provides in their placement.
And then we talk about squares - this is an immediate gut reaction of "oh dear, forced battle mat item". Sometimes my group plays encounters sans battle mat, it's obvious enough to carry out in your minds eye. This item almost enforces 4th edition style miniature and battle map play. For me, this is yuk! And then we can change the affected squares every round as a move action. Holy moly, so how often must I redraw the affected squares on the battle map - my job as GM has just multiplied in workload and at the same time, slows down encounter play every time the wearer takes this move action. Double Yuk! You could have considered treating it as an aura around the wearer, much simplifying at table play.
Finally, there are terrains that are standard that could cause issue at the gaming table, for example, an encounter set in the break water of a beach, which is already a foot deep with gently rolling waves, or, somewhere in the frozen icy wastelands, on a featureless windswept plain. For the former, wouldn't the wave action obliterate the bog quite quickly and for the latter, wouldn't the bog water freeze? I know why you used the term standard terrain, it does make sense, but even though you have used the correct terms, you should consider if there are any special cases that need to be addressed. One possible fix would be to limit it to dry / rocky land only.
Template Fu scores you 7/10 on this.

Cinematics:
Sight - check, good imagery - the battle-map aspects niggles me, but on the whole the imagery is neat.
Sound - missed opportunity - do you also get the buzzing nasty insects and their noises?
Smell - missed opportunity - how rank is the water? how decaying/putrid the vegetation?
Taste - missed opportunity - is any of the water potable?
Touch - missed opportunity - is it a steaming warm tropical bog or a chilly river delta type of bog?
Cinematic Summary I like the imagery and the item has a few niggles that need closing, but on the whole, I do like it a lot.
Template Fu scores you 16/20 on this.

Musings, Meme, and One Step Further:
Taking this one step further, what if you could call forth other terrain types? Or with mythic power, expand the range or permanency of the bog, or introduce quicksand squares into the conjured bog?
My biggest issue with the item remains the frequency with which the "layout" of the affects areas can be changed at a whim and potential in crazy zig-zag of connected squares.
Template Fu scores you 16/20 on this.

Your final score for this item is 55/70, or 79% - An imaginative item that just needs a few wrinkles ironed out.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Thanks Neil / Time

I suspected as much, but thought it didn't hurt to check.

My current draft is now 1,300, and I have an idea for expanding a scene with some descriptive combat action, so I think I should be okay. My current draft is with my reviewers just in case they spot some word count eating something and so I expect to be submitting in the next few days.


Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

I have almost completed my short fiction and it's looking like it's going to come in at around 1000 words +/- 100. This puts it firmly in the middle of the 750/1500 limits, so I am a little concerned that it will fall foul of this criteria...

Submission Guidelines wrote:
Short and sweet. Unless otherwise specified, article sizes are 750 and 1,500 words. These are HARD targets, not a range, so come as close as possible to these targets. Coming in too far under or over these targets will likely result in the rejection of your submission.

Now, I could add fluff, but I am worried it will be seen as adding fluff or I could remove a key scene, but that would then break the narrative or make the remainder seem a little contrived and stilted.

So I guess I am asking if it is okay to submit at this word count an article of fiction of around 1000 words knowing it's a bit of an odd word count yet still within the larger limit?

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber
Mike Kimmel wrote:
Invites to the "Freelance Forge" forums are out to everyone who has voiced interest. (Let me know if I missed you.) The community is in its early stages right now, with only a few members. If you are a current or former RPG Superstar contestant and you're interested in checking it out, please let me know.

Add me please - let me know if you need an email addy and I'll PM you.

1 to 50 of 1,978 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | next > last >>

©2002–2014 Paizo Inc.®. Need help? Email customer.service@paizo.com or call 425-250-0800 during our business hours: Monday–Friday, 10 AM–5 PM Pacific Time. View our privacy policy. Paizo Inc., Paizo, the Paizo golem logo, Pathfinder, the Pathfinder logo, Pathfinder Society, GameMastery, and Planet Stories are registered trademarks of Paizo Inc., and Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, Pathfinder Campaign Setting, Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Adventure Card Game, Pathfinder Player Companion, Pathfinder Modules, Pathfinder Tales, Pathfinder Battles, Pathfinder Online, PaizoCon, RPG Superstar, The Golem's Got It, Titanic Games, the Titanic logo, and the Planet Stories planet logo are trademarks of Paizo Inc. Dungeons & Dragons, Dragon, Dungeon, and Polyhedron are registered trademarks of Wizards of the Coast, Inc., a subsidiary of Hasbro, Inc., and have been used by Paizo Inc. under license. Most product names are trademarks owned or used under license by the companies that publish those products; use of such names without mention of trademark status should not be construed as a challenge to such status.