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Efreeti

Anthony Adam's page

Goblin Squad Member. RPG Superstar 2013 Marathon Voter, 2014 Marathon Voter. Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber. 2,008 posts (2,128 including aliases). No reviews. 1 list. 4 wishlists. 4 aliases.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Ok, I have taken my idea of describing ancient egyptian artifacts / tools and rather than doing a boring list of items I have attempted to wrap them as the center piece to a scene of life, kind of story like with a twist in the tale at the end.

I don't think I have seen items written in this manner before and it is very experimental submission so I hope you enjoy looking at it even if you decide it's not suitable. It is winging through the internet wiring as I type.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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I can say on the item part of the course that Sean is an excellent tutor ( we are just starting the monster design part, so Adam Daigle had better watch out ;) )

Sean has already shown me quite a few miss-steps I was making without realizing it! I feel so much more able to produce a quality design now, so much so, that I am this week drafting an intro covering letter to send to 3PP and Paizo touting for work, something I was not confident enough to do prior to this course.

I heartily and without hesitation recommend anyone serious about games design to consider and take this course. Don't worry about the material being Pathfinder related - that is just the vehicle that is the common ground for the coursework, and provides a solid platform for you to learn the ropes.

The lessons I have learnt can certainly be applied to any games design I do in the future for any system or publisher.

@Sean - if you have a laptop at your presentation, I am happy to skype in so people can ask me about my experience from the student side - let me know if you would like this ( I will have to double check the time difference for UK to Gen Con local time, but I am sure I can be awake for an hour or two on that Sunday :P )

@Everyone else, you can also PM me on the message boards here and I will get back to you and answer any queries you have as I can (usually the same day but at most within a day or two or your posting).


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I was about to subscribe for the skulls and shackles and then noticed that all 7 addon character decks are showing an expected August date - ummm, my poor wallet won't stretch to a new base game, and 7 character addons in one month, and certainly not with the all my other subscriptions.

Are these likely to be stage released to subscribers, maybe one every alternate month or somesuch to spread the load?

At the moment, it looks very "ouchie". Sorry for asking, but I need to plan my finances in the months before Christmas and, at the moment, this apparent release schedule is discouraging me from signing up.

Just spotted the not a subscription comment of Vic's so I guess this changes to how long do you intend having these available so I can spread the cost myself?


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I think you may find that...

a) if it is submitted
b) and follows the word counts
c) AND is on topic

then it definitely will get considered :)

Romance can be found anywhere in the most unlikely of places, but if it's back-dropped with the correct setting and flavor, it can't hurt by being submitted now can it ;)

Short version

Submit!

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Ok, we are into July, so here is a calendar of things to do that will help maximise your chances of success...

Superstar Preparation

July:
Re-read the Core Rules volume - as a designer not a player.
Look at sentence structures and the language used.
Jot down ideas that are inspired or triggered.
Re-read the Bestiary 1, pay particular attention to the monster creation rules.
Jot down ideas that are inspired or triggered.

August:
Week 1 - read all winning items and judges feedback from 2008 & 2009 (64 items). Jot down ideas that are inspired or triggered. Why are we reading items from another system....? Because the theory craft behind the feedback stands for any system!
Week 2 - move on to items 2010, 2011. Jot down ideas that are inspired or triggered.
Week 3 - items 2012, 2013. Jot down ideas that are inspired or triggered.
Final week - items from 2014.
Jot down idea that are inspired or triggered.

September:
Read the world setting books and the gods setting books.
Jot down ideas that are inspired or triggered - reference back to the lore so if you end up doing that idea, you can get your lore right!

October:
Sort your ideas into possible rounds, Items, NPCs/Villains, Monsters, Encounters.

Week 1 - Develop first cut drafts of at least 5 of your items, and send them out to your review circles.
Week 2 - 3 Monsters at least now, and circulate for review.
Week 3 - Now 3 villains/NPCs, circulate for review.
Week 4 - 3 Encounters, circulate for review AND playtest them over the next 3 weeks.

November:

As your review feedback comes back, narrow your items down - this is your main immediate focus in the December run up.

In the meantime, polish your favorite items, read the extra books teh Advanced's, the Bestiaries

Get at least 3 items to what you think and believe are Superstar quality submissions.

Wait for the December announcement with confidence, knowing you are well prepared.

December

The hard part, when the competition starts, DO NOT POST in the first 5 days. READ THE Round RULES - is your entry going to break them? Rework as necessary.

Beware, the judges/Paizo may add a twist to the item rounds and know that if they really change it up, you have prepared fully and can react quickly and with confidence.

When you Enter = DO NOT mess up your entry, take time to get the formatting right and use the PREVIEW button A LOT.

There are normally two boxes...

The title thin box contains your submission item name - WITHOUT any bb coding - it does not count towards your item words.

Paste your duly bb code formatted item into the larger second box, including the name WITH the bb bold encoding around it.

PREVIEW it at this point

Word count good?
Formatting nice and voter friendly?

If not, cancel the preview and fix up your entry, rinse and repeat.

If you are happy...

SUBMIT!

Good luck!

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

OK, taking the leap time.

Some of you know and some of you don't, but the reason the Fu is so quiet is I have been guinea pigging/trialing for Sean his new online games design course.

It's really rather good, so please do consider it if you are serious about getting into games design. He will, I'm sure, post to the superstar forums when he is fully prepared and ready - I am currently working on monster design to test that bit of the course for him, so you may get a beast at some point to look at.

Anyway, I thought it was time to see if you guys can see any improvement in my designs. Now, the item below was one of my shortlist ideas for the competition. After designing it, reviewing it, it still came in way over my intended word budget for this year.

This year I am targeting to try and do a 200 word item or less. So at 287 words, this item has finally been subjected to my practice bin.

So here you go, the second to last para ("If the total level..." is the one causing me most grief I think now, but I think I can see an improvement in my design and language use, so this will be a good litmus test posting it here.

Have at it everyone :)

Spell Thrower
Aura faint abjuration; CL 5th
Slot hands; Price 4,500 gp; Weight
Description
This glove, made from woven spider silk, is so pure and brilliantly white that it almost fluoresces.

Placing the glove onto a written spell such as a scroll causes the symbols to animate in a dizzying leaping from page to glove, racing to the centre of the palm. There they merge into a pulsating ball lasting as long as it is held. One ball may be created and held at any one time.

Throwing the ball as a ranged attack releases the spell energy against the target on a successful hit. The ball splatters as an ink blot at the end of its flight regardless of whether the attack was a hit or a miss.

If the ball was created from a spell that deals damage, it inflicts 1d6 points of damage per spell level. If the spell damage has a damage type, the damage dealt by the ball is of the same type, otherwise the damage has no type.

If the spell channels energy, then 1d6 points of healing per spell level is granted for positive energy spells, or 1d6 points of damage per spell level is inflicted for negative energy spells. This counts as an energy source of the appropriate type.

If the total level of the character when treated as levels of the appropriate caster type for the spell being touched result in being an insufficient level to cast the spell, then the writing remains on the touched parchment and no ball is formed.

If the ball is released without being thrown, it melts into a small puddle of ink.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, explosive runes; Cost 2,250 gp


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Yeah, title is a challenge on this one, but I have done so much research on Ancient Egypt in prep for my holiday at Luxor, I thought it would be a shame to waste the opportunity ;)


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Quick question as I'm not 100% sure, one of my submissions is going to be an article on "typical Osirion life" that will exhibit the tools, life and foods of Ancient Egypt re-themed for Osirion.

So, it's not really magical items (but I might make some items from the article as magical items as another submission), and I'm not really sure what category of submission it does fall under. So, can I assume that the 1500 word limit applies to this type of article?

Thanks in advance for your kind attention.


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Hey all

As promised, here is my linked article freebie that didn't make the cut - use or not as you see fit. Yes, the articles were linked, but I did talk to Tim and Paris before creating and sending the submission ;)

The submission consisted of Item, Organisation and Side Trek Seed.

Enjoy (I hope).

Anthony.

Indelible Bindings
Aura faint illusion and divination; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 6,000 gp; Weight
Description

Shimmering golden letters rise from the pages of historical tomes encased by these scarlet hued leather bindings, shifting and reordering to provide an accurate and true account of the history being described where the written text is incomplete or incorrect.

The bindings can be separated as the spine that would join them has been rent apart, a result of being torn from the original editions of Cheliaxan History. Placing the bindings around any historical tome, results in the changes, additions and deletions since the previous edition of that tome to be made known via the floating text as each page turns. This provides the reader a +4 circumstance bonus to Knowledge checks related to research into noble bloodlines, houses, and history of Cheliax as they occurred rather than how they are now being represented.

Separating the covers over two editions of the same tome will reveal all changes in the rear binding encased tome from the front binding encased tome, providing the same circumstance bonus on the same types of research.

Using the indelible bindings this way conveys writing made in the front binding encased tome to the rear binding encased tome as each sentence is completed. The two bindings must be on the same plane of existence when separated in this manner. Let the writer beware, the truth of what is written is conveyed even if they attempt to mislead by writing false text.

Being caught with these bindings in Cheliax is regarded as high treason, resulting in immediate public execution.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, illusory script, witness, creator must be a bard and member of The Way of Indelible Truth; Cost 3,000 gp

___________________________________________________

The Way of Indelible Truth
Alignment: N
Headquarters: Two main headquarters exist: Verso, located in Egorian, and Recto, located in Westcrown. Both headquarters are built into the sewers of both cities, each with a sliding wall defense system that can close access to the headquarters in such a way that the sewer channels appear to run naturally without creating suspicious dead ends.
Leader: Verso Folium leads Verso, Recto Folium leads Recto. These hereditary names are assumed on taking office as an identity protection for the leaders.
Structure: Nationalist Hierarchy
Scope: National
Resources: Real property and liquid assets worth tens of millions of gold piece across Cheliax. Sixty percent of this held equally between the two headquarters.

During the treacherous break of Molthune from Cheliax in the year 4632, a number of nobles of Westcrown, fearing the total break up of Cheliax and an end to their own power and holdings, formed an alliance to preserve the ideals, society, treasures and noble lines of the true and powerful Cheliax from which their lines ascended.

The organization was driven underground during the years of the interregnum and the rise of the House of Thrune. During this time, the order has been publicly denounced, reinforcing the members desire to preserve not only the histories of Cheliax, but its noble bloodlines.

In order to provide resilience to the organization’s continued existence during this turbulent time, a second headquarters was formed in the new capital, Egorian. This facilitated closer monitoring of the activities of the House of Thrune and expedited the discovery of noble lines in danger of being deposed in the new capital.

Over the years, the order came to realize that historical artifacts were being perverted or destroyed by the ruling houses, effectively removing the proof of the old histories. These acts were seen as abhorrent by the members of this order, reinforcing their determination to preserve all aspects of the true history of Cheliax.

Today, they continue to work tirelessly behind the scenes, bringing those of true noble blood, survivors and strays loyal to the old ways to the safety of their hidden safe houses; preparing those they save to spread dissension, to plot and grow in power, to build their bands and armies in secret with the final aim of tearing down the House of Thrune and restoring the original Cheliax order.

Structure and Leadership
The two leaders each have a tome encased between two halves of a matched pair of indelible bindings, facilitating secret two way communication between them when needed. These tomes are reverently referred to as the bifolium.

Reporting to the leaders are the chapter house heads dispersed throughout all major towns and cities of Cheliax, referred to collectively as the quire. Order heads in villages and towns have four subordinates, known as quarternion, cities have eight, known as octernion. Although their title may differ, for all intent and purposes, they are regarded with equal status irrespective of their title.

It is these individuals that, through the use of adventuring parties and Annalist Bindings, locate and retrieve the articles, treasures and lost nobles who form the true history and lifeblood of Cheliax as they deem it should be. All that work through them are referred to as signatures.

Goals
Their greatest desire is the preservation of the true histories and bloodlines of Cheliax, seeing this as the only way to ensure that Cheliax is kept pure and able to rise once more to its illustrious heights without the need of any pacts with devils or any other external agencies. The order strives to this end, using whatever means necessary: acquiring historical treasures, secreting away survivors of deposed noble lines, subversive activities to undermine the ruling houses, assassinations, thievery, seeding of dissent, and so on.

Public Perception
Those loyal to house Thrune and their view of the future of Cheliax regard members and adventurers working for this organization as traitors, although any noble who finds they have fallen into disfavor will often quickly change their allegiance. Those few who have escaped the bands of slavery see this organization as a life line, an escape from the slaver’s noose, and a cause they can join to re-establish Cheliax to its purest and greatest heights.

_______________________________________________________

Egorian, Cheliax – House Championship

Plot Hook
If the PCs are playing as loyalists to House Thrune, they are approached by an agent noble house to act as champions in the forthcoming annual house championships held in Egorian’s arena. Should they be working against House Thrune, they are approached by either an agent of House Thrune pretending to be a member of The Way of Indelible Truth or one of that organization's octernion.

They are advised that a deposed noble was captured recently and put to the arena by House Thrune. This noble knows of the location of a sacred artifact of Aroden that must be retrieved – the agent of House Thrune intends to destroy it, otherwise it is to be preserved and secreted away to safety. To that end the PCs must enter the arena, identify the noble, win his trust and keep him alive, making him a member of their party as the rules of championship combat dictate (see background). The noble knows that this information is his only route out of the arena and so will not divulge this information to anyone at any time, even to the PCs.

Arrangements are made that the PCs are taken to the arena 3 days before the grand contest, where they will billet amongst all combatants. It is during this three days they need to locate and identify the target of their search.

Background
Once per year, House Thrune holds a Championship in the Egorian arena, consisting of multiple bouts, some house versus house and some house champions versus slaves. The latter events being a thinly disguised method of cleaning house. Instead of the actual nobles of a house taking part in the arena, they are allowed to proxy champions in their stead, encouraged and approved of by House Thrune as a way of preventing the loss of staunch allies to a lucky blade.

The house versus house results affect a houses rank within the noble hierarchy and their esteem by House Thrune. They are fought fiercely unto the death of all of a house’s champions. The house versus slaves events are fought to the death of all slaves. Rarely, a slave fights so well that the house champions offer them leniency should they elect to join them against the remaining slaves. This must be offered to the slave by a house champion during the contest, a slave asking for this boon is always killed. It is this route that the agent wishes the PCs to take.

Potential Resolutions
Should the PCs fail to identify the noble agent, or they fail to protect him during the championship bouts, he dies resulting in all arrangements to retrieve the PCs from the arena are cancelled. They are left as arena slaves seeking their own route to freedom.

If the PCs successfully protect the noble agent, the resolution depends on whether you chose to play the introduction that the employer was a member of The Way of Indelible Truth or was an agent of House Thrune.

For the former, the PCs and the agent are bought and paid for by an anonymous party who arranges their safe delivery to a safe house where they meet their employer who rewards them for a job well done.

For the latter, only the noble agent is bought out of the arena. The PCs, realizing they have been duped, hear through the slave vine of his summary trial and execution. Should they escape their current predicament, they may plot and enact their revenge.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Don't fret Kerney, I think we are just all ubah busy right now, items will pick up again soon, I promise (a.k.a I will post something soon, gah!) ;)

I like the ladder, but some advice I was given is that sometimes the ideas I come up with are over used/meme, and crossing things with ropes, ladders etc is one of those.

One other aspect of pricing for example, which I don't recall seeing mentioned much, is not only to examine where something fits on the price tables but also what can a party do of the right level with that sort of disposable gold.

For example, by the time my mage got to be able to afford a 9 grand item, I could levitate, feather fall and blink - which negated most of the problems with crossing something - and quite often, the rope was tied to the "mage who could get there", helping the party too. So do consider that with your items, not only is it priced well, but are the benefits likely to already be bettered by character skills.

Go really wild on your next one, something way out there that you might think is likely to be too much - this is a practice thread so we really want to see you stretch yourself, so go for it. Yes, you will likely take it too far the first time, but that's the whole point, reach for the Superstar!


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Ohh fun - for those posting questions here, you might get a quicker response by posting to the official questions mail addy in the rules.

Posted here for ease of your finding it... ;)

pathfinderchronicler.net/contest-details wrote:


If you have a question, contact us at pfcontestquestions@pathfinderchronicler.net


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The next one is an escape story -

We be goblins FREE!:

That is purely a fun title and in no way is it to be taken as truth...

:P


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Paris Crenshaw wrote:
Just to give you an idea of where we are, now, in the process, I currently have an image in my mind of our fearless Editor-in-Chief standing next to a very large, noisy machine shouting, "Print, d***n you! Print faster!"

We know Paizo better than that.

At the centre, the printer, spitting lava gouts and steam from its vents between each completed issue...

To the left, the lead Webstore Ninja and her "encouragment whip", evil smile and readiness to act...

To the right, the editor in chief nodding when encouragement is needed... gently stroking his small horns and tucking his barbed tail back under his shirt...

And poor Cosmo feeding the printer as fast as he can to avoid the lash :P

Come on... it's a Chelish issue, so get on theme :P


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Bit of an odd one this, so I thought I'd ask publicly as others may have had similar thoughts previously...

This year (October), I am taking my wife for a cruise down the Nile, the upshot being I will become the proud taker of many royalty free Osirion like photo's ;)

Would you be interested in receiving a batch of Osirion themed "scenery" photos or would this timing be a bit late for the issue.

I could zip them up and post in small batches to not blow your mail account, and you could choose any you thought suitable or not as you need?

Are photo's something you might consider for the issue when they are likely on theme?

Cheers for your time.


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Paris Crenshaw wrote:

<snip>

1) Place: Cheliax
2) Noun: Chelaxian ...a person from Cheliax (as in, "The Chelaxian looked at him quizzically")
3) Adjective: Chelish
4) Languages: Common (aka Taldane) and Infernal.

<snip>

1) Place: Osirion
2) Noun: Osirian/Osirians (as in, "The Osirian looked at him quizzically.")
3) Adjective: Osirian
4) Language: Osiriani

I hope that helps folks.

Does anybody else smell the beginning of a wonderful blog post with a table of places and four columns called Place, Noun, Adjective, Language...

hint hint.

Goblin Squad Member

I will post the customer support response here to help anyone else having similar issues.

Goblin Squad Member

Thanks so much!

Goblin Squad Member

Hi,

Sorry for hi-jacking the paizo forums, but I am trying to contact the goblinworks peeps with a query and there is no "mail/contact us" link anywhere I can find on their goblinworks web site.

I received the update recently saying I had to finalise my pledge - found this, so this bit is done :)

It also mentioned logging into the goblinworks site so I can check my access level (I pledged the $100 level during the active time of the kickstarter, purchased no addons, and this pledge shows in my account on Paizo).

I tried logging in using the same email as my Paizo one on the goblinworks site, and clicked the forgot my email and password link as it has been quite some months I think. It came back as unknown account. The email on the Paizo site hasn't changed and I have an active pledge, so what should I do now to check my access level and confirm I am ready to go?

Sorry for asking here, I am just unable to locate a better email link to ask directly.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Hi all

Something a bit strange and wacky for you to review and vote on please. My creation for the McDonalds design a burger competition.

Behold the tangy, garlic loaded Garlic Blast burger.

Thanks to all who vote for me ;)

And now, back to the normality that is Blazing 9 :D


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I think it was but can't find the post that specifically said so. I have found a few that say "potential theme" in this thread.

So what you can do is make some Osirion themed submissions and wait for the call announcement. That way, if it is finally, irrevocably confirmed by that submission call, you are well prepared - and if, shock, horror, it's a curve ball theme, then you have prepared by practicing and can keep them for when the issue is Osirion.

Either way, you are on a win-win. :)


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Paris Crenshaw wrote:
... Tim has been gracious enough to give me time to work on another Paizo freelance project. It's the first time I've worked on this type of thing for Paizo. ...

Although you are a tease, let me say Congrats on trying something new!

Now to start the guessing game as to what it might be. Here's a starter to get people smiling ;)

Wayfinder Papercrafting - Issue 1

Expect to see...

Modern fold up walls and flooring, enough to build a replica to miniature scale of the Paizo offices - populate and run it as a dungeon! Comes with a set of paper stand ups including web store ninja's, customer care bears and the oft quoted and dreaded end boss encounter - the Cosmo!

Origami trees - paperfolding gone Bonzai! Lifelike to scale miniature trees to populate your table top wilderness encounters - this issue, oaks, elms and weeping willows, and no Glue required!

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Hmm, I wonder if you need to consider size at all - what is a meaty boney snack / chew toy for say an alligator might be swallowed whole by something in the next category up.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

I have been thinking on this some more, and although the time zone difference might exclude me from skype/video calls, i have found your critiques so informative that I would happily pay for a formal critique via email. So, yes, consider me signed up !

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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I'll take a look when I get some spare moments, things are hectic here at the moment, so I'm a tad snowed under :)

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Yet again you break new ground with your thinking!

I suspect you will need some sort of booking system and rotation system because, based on the voluntary feedback threads, you could get overwhelmed / booked out quite quickly.

My only other worry for contestants trying the Superstar route is whether being published in the free release might disqualify them if their names are on the front cover. I think we are okay on that because it's free and pdf only, but thought it worth double checking.

p.s. Nice to see you on the boards again - are you all moved and settled in your new home now?


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Being a bit of a web store noob, is there a donate product link or some way of making such an option easy to find for anyone we tell who might be interested in such?

Sorry if it's a daft question, unfortunately I am one of those people that always ask the "obvious" questions.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Glad you found it useful.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber
Mikko Kallio wrote:
Looking forward to your review!

Now posted, enjoy.

Death Mask is next...

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

Pathfinder Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber; Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

Template Fu Review 2014 - Mikko Kallio - Deck of Falling Houses

Template Fu boilerplate: I have yet to make Top 32, therefore much of what follows is from someone learning from your item and may include suggestions you might agree with or not. Please consider anything suggested with your critical designer mind and know that nothing here is personal, it is about your item not you. I try to be thorough every year, taking an hour or more per item, so I hope you find something of value in the review that follows.

Name: This was one that started with an "oh dear" reaction when I saw the name. This is a personal reaction as I actually find the deck / random items mess to much with the party and usually cause more problems than they solve. I kept my fingers crossed it wasn't random, and on scanning the description my fears were allayed. Phew. That said, falling houses is also a slightly negative term, making me wonder if the item was going to have some negative side that might be a problem, again, a quick scan made me think that this isn't going to be the case. So I think the feedback here on the name is to be wary of negative sounding names for wondrous items, try for the ohhhh rather than the ut-oh reaction to the name.
Template Fu scores you 8/10 on this.

Template Usage: Although you executed the template perfectly, I had one disconnect with your price. My original reaction was that the "(full deck)" is superfluous. If a GM gives you a less than full deck, you would likely be told how many cards remain. If "buying" form the, sigh, magic vendor, then how would you pro-rata the price for incomplete decks? By adding the full deck, you have limited how the decks are acquired to being a full deck, but also have pulled attention to the issues of the card consumption with use. It's enough of a disconnect for me to nab one point in this category.
Template Fu scores you 9/10 on this.

Game Balance: Ok, I double took on the first line of description. When people normally refer to normal decks of playing cards, they refer to 52 and ignore the two jokers, but a Harrow deck is definitely 54. I think here you should have kept tight with the Golarion Harrow deck and lose the reference to normal playing cards. It's a wonderful tie in, so really use it!
The next bit I think that is missing is card retrieval, I build a small hut using say 5 or 6 cards. When I want to leave, do I get my cards back, if so how? Or, am I leaving structures behind me and carrying an ever dwindling supply of cards (this I think is the intention) but I know my players and they will ask this, so make this really clear.
This then raised the question about the cards destruction, is that just the cards in the structure or the whole deck? Again, I think it's just the structure.
I can't make my mind up if the structures should be permanent as they currently are, or whether they should be subject to some sort of time limit before they crumble away. This is again a personal thing, I don't like the idea of leaving a trail of structures in my wake, my enemies could determine where have gone, are going to from these.
What sort of crystal is it? If the crystal has more value than a single card, my players might try to sell a crystal sheet to a craftsman and run before it turns to dust :P
Now, you mention the cards joining along the edge, but it doesn't seem to say that the edge on the floor seals in the same way to the floor, so it would be possible to argue that certain side heavy structure would tip to the side, remaining complete but not as placed (if you see what I mean).
Template Fu scores you 8/10 on this.

Cinematics:
Sight - check, really funky imagery on this, I like this one a lot.
Sound - missed opportunity - is there a riffing car shuffle sound when they transform?
Smell - doesn't apply I think (I don't think crystal has a smell.)
Taste - doesn't apply I think (although if it is a salt structure, it could be salty when licked for example)
Touch - missed opportunity - are the surfaces really smooth, dimpled, or rough?
Cinematic Summary All those points aside, this is one that just has imagery by the bucket load. I really like this one.
Template Fu scores you 18/20 on this.

Musings, Meme, and One Step Further:
One thing that could have added more spice, the suit or court/non court of the card alters the crystal color/type when transformed?
Now, the bit I really wanted here is probably a bit gonzo. I wanted the ability to be able to "bend" the card and the card transforms into a wall/structure representing the same bend or bends - the reason being a crystal wall is likely to be slippery when at and angle, so it would be nice to use less cards to make a set of steps for example. Another use could be to bend the cards at each end, and then they become a slightly raised bed/table/altar. Bending the cards would have really given this item amazing utility!
Again, my penchant for mythic power stuff raises its head and muses... you could have allowed mythic power to retrieve the cards from a structure.
Template Fu scores you 17/20 on this.

Your final score for this item is 60/70, or 86% - One of my favorites - a deck that isn't random!

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Just a quick pop in to say I will be attending the UK games expo again this year - I'll let you know stand details etc as and when I get the details myself.

For details on the show, it's all here.


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Timitius wrote:

We will actually be posting the PDF of #11 on July 4th or 5th....at the start of PaizoCon, for all of you that cannot make it.

Tim

Oh, Timitius.

On behalf of your kind readership, please allow me to allow you to not have to come in and work on Wayfinder on that great holiday known as Independence Day ;)

(I think it's always 4th July isn't it?)


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Congrats all authors.

Once the issue has been released, I will share my unsuccessful story and crunch submissions in this thread.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Spellcracker's Tools

I got confused that the spell is suppressed for 1d4 rounds by your item - does this mean the spell isn't interrupted and just delayed? If this understanding is right, if I cast an instantaneous spell say magic missile, which gets delayed for a roll of 1 round, does that mean I can still cast normally on the round the delayed spell completes?

i.e. cast magic missile, suppressed for one round, next round cast magic missile, not suppressed, both go off?

Or, do you mean that the caster cannot cast that spell for 1d4 rounds? If the latter, is it suppressing the spell being cast for casters who memorise or all memorised spells with the same name?

I also wondered about the attack of opportunity - if you are attempting to interrupt my casting mid cast, if I take the attack of opportunity, I lose the cast as the cast becomes interrupted by my own action! I suspect you might mean it provokes from enemies adjacent to you and not the caster target?

Finally, what happens to a suppressed spell that is suppressed long enough for the initial target to no longer be a valid target - free action to change targets? or spell fizzle?

Sorry if that was a bit of a ramble, work is heinous at the moment and I only managed a 10 minute scan of the thread today :(

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Nickolas Floyd wrote:
Anthony Adam wrote:
Pick any item found in a sewing box (needle, cotton reel, etc) and make it wondrous.

Huh. One of the items I have made up and sitting around for consideration for my entry next year, already falls within this criteria. It fits except that it is only 155 words. I'm not sure I can add 45 words to it and I'm not sure I won't want to enter it in the contest this coming year. Like every item I've made it has some pros and some cons as an entry. I think I will wait and see what others post on this assignment, but again, I'm not sure I can get up to 200 words.

Also, I just want to point out that no one has yet commented on my last posted item, Nested Dolls of Bullied Vengeance. If you are looking for something to critique it is near the end, one page back.

I wouldnt expect anyone to give up an entry worthy item of theirs, so I picked sewing box content as there are lots of thing in there to choose from, threads, needles, pins, scissors, ribbons, patches, all sorts...

So, if anyone creates an item they would rather keep, please do so.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Ok, no items for a while, so while I continue with my Top 32 detailed analysis reviews, here is an item challenge (and if your item is good enough, I may even treat the writer to a free Paizo companion pdf !)

Pick any item found in a sewing box (needle, cotton reel, etc) and make it wondrous.

When posting your chosen item, one entry per person of course :), precede the item with Bold Italic "Sewing Box Marvels Entry".

You have a word count limit for your item of.... not less than 200 words and not more than 220 words. Yeah, that should be a good challenge.

Caster level can be from 1st through 5th only.

Price must be sub 5000 gp.

Format must be per the Core Rules (as the template provided for Round 1 of Superstar).

ALL Auto Rejects listed on Sean's threads will apply rigidly - plus...

No blood or gore
No filigree
No butterflies :P

Let's say you have until the last day of April to post it up here (about the same length of time for superstar round 1).

If we suddenly get flooded with entries from new posters, I may close the entry date early so I have time to review them all.

On your marks, get set, go...


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Bardess wrote:

Registered, but I'll have to ask something about the use conditions...

Plus, I'm waiting for the mail round! I'd love for all three of my things to get in, but I know it's unrealistic... So I'm hoping for the feat/prestige archetype one (even if it's too long) and maybe the monster. The feats/spells one is the weakest, in my opinion.

I am also wondering if any of my three get in, I hope my item/organisation/seed combo gets picked (I know linked articles are a pain, but I am particularly proud of this submission). I'm not sure about my fiction, it was my first try at writing such and the song... well, I am always wary of printing reworked songs because of copyright issues, so I suspect that will be a no.

The main thing though is how much fun it is taking part, actually making the issue is a nice bonus, but the excitement of taking part for me is easily the big win.


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Odraude wrote:

How do we become a member of Freelance Forge?

I believe its reasonably open to any freelance designer who wants to work with other freelance designers doing peer group reviews of superstar entries and work being done elsewhere, so there is an element of NDA in membership.

Register for the site and the administrators will like contact you to make sure you are happy to join etc. They run semi regular practice rounds of superstar too, so it's a quite lively place at times.

I have a feeling it might be open only to top 32 finalists of any year at the moment, but if you are serious into working towards freelancing, let it be known and you will most likely gain entry.

I can't be more definite as I'm not a moderator of the site, but I hope that's enough info for you to make that call to register or not. (If you scan through this years Superstar guildhall, starting here there are the initial posts leading to freelance forge being created.

I hope it helps. [/end thread derail]


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Timitius wrote:
William Sinclair wrote:
Sigh.... I JUST noticed this. Too late now. Ah well, next time. I really need to stay more current on the boards.
If you are on Facebook or Google+, like us. We usually cross-post there. Well, FB,at least. I've tried G+, but it seems that very few people interact over there...

Quite a few of this years Superstar finalists and regulars now work together on the freelancing boards they started this year at Freelance Forge, so when you announce any future issues, feel free to PM me and I'll cross post there for you too.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Thats always been my biggest problem, I can do good or competent, just never superstar.

Thats why I am dropping out and just doing reviews from now on. I get a kick from the odd Wayfinder article, but after 7 consecutive years of failing even to make top 100, its time to face facts and be realistic. I'm now into my 50s, so this old dog is finally admitting time to let the dream go.

I'll still be around on the superstar forums, providing critical feedback, but i think no more entry heartache for me. Best of luck to those who keep chasing that dream.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Yeah, sorry about the colons, lol, I cut and pasted from this thread during a lunchbreak - silly me >.<

I wasn't sure if climb speed applied when using a ladder, so I went for normal speed, averaging 60 foot for a double move action and I reduced the duration to one minute purely on gut feel.

I tried to distance the immovable rod by making it that the staying in place was dependent on the partner rod moving, maybe it didn't come across as I had hoped.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Ok, here's one from me for you all to have fun with - it's a reworking of an old idea I have toyed with many times. I have hopefully simplified it and made it a little less clunky than any previous attempts.

222 words (Word 2012)

Ascension Rods
Aura: faint transmutation; CL: 3rd
Slot: none; Price: 1,000 gp; Weight: 4 lbs.
Description:
A set of these solid platinum six inch bars consists of individual bars bearing one of a set of etched motifs stamped into the ends, either a left hand, a right hand, a left foot or a right foot. A complete set will contain four bars depicting each motifs, one motif per bar.

Holding the hand motif bars in the correct hands and placing feet on their partnered bars allows the bars to act as rungs of an invisible ladder. By moving one bar and one foot up or down, the other bars become fixed in place, suspended and able to bear up to 500 lbs. By moving as if traversing a ladder, the climber ascends, descends or even traverses chasms and the like, suspended as if upon an invisible ladder spanning the distance to be travelled. The bars allow movement at any angle so long as it is a straight line.

Once per day, the rungs will operate for 1 minute or traverse a distance of up to 500 feet. Should the climber be knocked free of the bars, or the duration expires, normal falling rules apply. The rungs will free fall from their current position.
Construction:
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, levitate; Cost: 500 gp

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Still working through your item reviews folks (just 9 left now), as I can get the time - just posted Earthbind Boots review, next up will be Deck of Falling Houses. I hope you are finding them useful/of interest.

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Template Fu Review 2014 - Mike Kimmel - Earthbind Boots

Template Fu boilerplate: I have yet to make Top 32, therefore much of what follows is from someone learning from your item and may include suggestions you might agree with or not. Please consider anything suggested with your critical designer mind and know that nothing here is personal, it is about your item not you. I try to be thorough every year, taking an hour or more per item, so I hope you find something of value in the review that follows.

Name: The name is quite intriguing and pulled me in, that is so good, but my initial impression was that they might be some sort of anti quicksand/bog type of boots, based on binding earth. On discovery that it was to bind flyers to the ground, I found the word choice both apt and at the same time jarring. This is a difficult one, I can't think of a better alternative.
Template Fu scores you 8/10 on this.

Template Usage: Although you executed the template perfectly, you used a lot of older and clunky phrasing.
For example, "Once per day, the wearer of the boots may activate them as a standard action by stomping on the ground..." - 20 words - just to deal with activation. So how much do we need and did you fall into common traps?
Yes, first one is the dreaded passive voice, "could, may, should, can,... etc" - "may activate", shudder, "activates" - much better, dynamic and stronger.
Other things in that sentence that jar are "wearer of the boots" and "as a standard action".
So how could yo have written that first sentence? This is my stab, it's one possibility, but I hope it is useful to you.
"Once per day, stomping hard on the ground causes waves of thunderous force to roll out to 180 feet, ensnaring airborne creatures in its grip and forcing them to the ground."
I didn't mention standard action, because that is the normal action for activating an item, and I didn't use wearer of the boots as that can safely be assumed. I also replaced the list of how creatures are "flying" with the term airborne as that term covers all.
Your first two sentences - 47 words - my version, I think is cleaner, clearer and only 31 words. One thing I have noticed in the round 1 public voting is that the voting public vote for short easy to read items. I guess this may be due to voting tiredness as one factor, but easy reading is a big score too.
I know removing clunky over wordiness is hard (look at my reviews >.<), so this is something we can both work on :)
The only other feedback, and probably due to the wordiness of the description, is "wall of text" - look for feature breaks - you could have para broken between the landing text and the save resolutions. This would break the description into base effect of pulling a creature down and then special cases.
Template Fu scores you 8/10 on this.

Game Balance: My first gut reaction was the 180 foot range. That felt huge. I did a quick check against dragon flying speeds, (100ft - 250ft). So a dragon with a 250 foot movement, the great wyrm, if doing a strafing run needs to start more than 180 feet away, but ends only 70 feet past the party - hmmm, this makes the most dangerous of creature vulnerable to the boots range. On reflection I think dropping this to 120 foot would be a better choice - the same strafing run by the great wyrm can now start at just over 120 feet away and will finish with the dragon just out of range again. This is a personal gut feel though. 180 isn't unreasonable in the main, I just felt it was a bit too much is all.
The will save was spot on, but I did wonder if size should be a modifier on this save - pulling a sparrow to the ground should be relatively easy, but a great ancient wyrm - hmmm, maybe not so. Or the type of flying maneuverability - a clumsy flyer would be easier to pull down than a good flyer for example.
I found the 9 rounds slightly odd for keeping the creature on the ground, I would have allowed a Will save every round during this time for the creature to shake of the effects and be able to fly again. Most combats against a single creature do not last 9 rounds, five-six is around the average. I would probably drop the 9 to 6.
Template Fu scores you 7/10 on this.

Cinematics:
Sight - check, wonderful imagery marred by clunky wording.
Sound - check, nice thunderous complement to the effect
Smell - my first reaction was doesn't apply, but thunderstorms and the like do sometimes have an ozone/metallic smell to them, so you possibly could have played off this
Taste - doesn't apply
Touch - missed opportunity - are they comfortable to wear, cushioned against stomping on hard ground etc?
Cinematic Summary The visual and sound aspects combine to a satisfying imagery - very well done.
Template Fu scores you 18/20 on this.

Musings, Meme, and One Step Further:
The only thing I wondered was if the stomp could also radiate out through the ground, creating a momentary shock wave that could render those already on the ground to save or become prone. I think this might overpower the item on reflection even though it would make the effect seem more cohesive and complete. Something to think about perhaps.
I think all the tweaks mentioned in Game Balance should be examined, as this item is very close to perfect and just needs some small tweaking and a bit of de-cluttering on the wording.
Template Fu scores you 16/20 on this.

Your final score for this item is 57/70, or 81% - A very visual and fun item marred only by over wordiness.


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Ignotus Advenium wrote:

Good luck everyone!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for my submission, which is one of the 25 bestiary entries.

The creature would have been my RPGSS 2014 2nd round entry, had my wondrous item(s) advanced (Vinculum Vests).

Whether I make it in or not, I'm looking forward to the new pub. I'm relatively new to this site, Wayfinder and RPGSS, and I'm finding a lot to like. I recently reviewed and read Wayfinder #10 and found it very enjoyable. The Genie-in-a-bottle mini adventure was a highlight.

Thank you for those kind words.

I wrote that mini adventure using all of the encounter feedback from the previous years of RPG Superstar, so a lot of the credit should go to every contestant, judge and feedback author of those prior rounds.

It was my first attempt of writing up an encounter I had designed, so I was very surprised and delighted it was chosen for that issue.

So there you go, all you lurkers, you can do it (especially if I can :P). Take the plunge, even though you may have missed this deadline, there will be more issues to come.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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Mark D Griffin wrote:
I had the sinking feeling this monster would be absolutely nobody's cup of tea but mine. I swear it was really clever the day I read that companion book for Irrisen.

Lol, we have all been there, many many times. In my case, around December and January every year for the last seven years >.<


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Wow, 133! That is quite amazing folks.

So basically we have around a 1 in 3 chance of making the issue on average.

Unfortunately for me, mine are 1 in 15, 1 in 19 and 1 in 7. Just like the yearly Superstar meme, I hit the popular categories pretty accurately here too, grin.

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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The mismatch that leaps out immediately, which I am not sure is easily fixable, is Plural: men, Singular: man and a line of "has no gender" - oopsie. It's a small thing but does kind of bump out when noticed.

Then I also notice they are described as "humanoid and animal shaped" - hmmm, so men is probably a bit misleading, maybe "beast"? or somthing like that would be better.

It's a consistency thing really, one of those niggly things that if this were a superstar entry, could turn voters away after a while.

I hope that snippet helps.


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Timitius wrote:
Anthony Adam wrote:
Hey Tim/Paris, we still have a couple of days to deadline, so any chance of an article count update so we can see if there are some gaps needing plugging?

We have 96 submissions as of right now.

<snip>

Awesome, just 4 short of your initial target -

WELL DONE!!!

... to every person who submitted whether your article gets selected or not! And...

GOOD LUCK!

... to all the editors and artists end everyone involved with the task of reviewing, selecting and putting the issue together.

As a reward(?) for your sterling submission efforts, if your article(s) do not get selected, you could post them to the Blazing 9 thread where I will endeavor to perform a Template Fu review on them for you (and you might even get some other thread participants provide you valuable feedback too - it's what we do in that thread!)

Those of you who do get selected, congratulations - please keep your article secret so we all get a nice surprise on release day :)


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Me too, just sent in a third submission - this is the first issue where I have sent in more than one submission too!

Marathon Voter 2013, Marathon Voter 2014

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OK, Submission no 3 for Wayfinder 11 - lol, with humblest apologies to Andrew Lloyd Webber, and the Phantom of the Opera...

So, what do you think to this lyric mangling effort...?

ABROGAIL:
In sleep he spoke to me
In dreams he came
That voice which calls to me and speaks my name
And do I dream again for now I find
The Devil Asmodeus is there
Inside my mind

ASMODEUS:
Rise once again with me
Accept our duet
My power over you grows stronger yet
And though you turn from me to glance behind
I Asmodeus reside always
Inside your mind.

ABROGAIL:
I who have seen your face
Shall feel no fear
I am the mask you wear

ASMODEUS:
It's me they hear...

ABROGAIL & ASMODEUS:
Your/My spirit and my/your voice in one combined
You/I, Asmodeus, always here
Inside my/your mind

PEOPLE OF CHELIAX:
He's there, the Devil Asmodeus!
Beware, the Devil Asmodeus!

ASMODEUS:
In all your fantasies, you always knew
devil and mystery

ABROGAIL:
Were both in you

ABROGAIL & ASMODEUS:
And in Golarion land
where night is blind
the great Asmodeus is here,
inside my/your mind

ABROGAIL:
He's there, the Devil Asmodeus

ASMODEUS:
Rise, my Angel of Terror
Rise, my Angel
Rise for me
Rise, my Angel!
Rise for me!

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