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My experience with police forces in the US follows.
When you're polite to an officer, they're polite to you. 1% of the time this isn't true.
When you're belligerent with an officer, they're belligerent with you. 99% of the time this is true.
What some Americans (and internationals) are calling fear of the police, I call respect for authority (which I have).
Simple rules, from my point of view:
If an officer engages you, be polite and respectful.
If an officer issues a directive, follow it.
When an officer says, "Hands up!" don't start walking toward them! Put you hands up and be quiet.
When an officer asks for ID, don't invoke the Constitution or Patrick Henry, just show them your ID.
When you've broken the law, no matter how trivial or what circumstances you believe mitigate your offense, be contrite and respectful--that doesn't mean you have to admit you did or didn't do anything, but don't be deliberately stupid.
When an officer tells you to calm down, or stop cursing at them, calm down and shut up: the officer's demand was explicit and black-and-white; there is absolutely zero chance that they actually meant for you to teach them all the profanities you know, and in as loud a voice as possible.