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So THAT’S what happened to my ascension ritual… and now I’m stuck like this until someone destroys my prophylactic.
Ruhroh... is this the return of... BAR BAPHON?!
Gasp!
400 year old beavers?! Dear God what next?!
Not really an issue...
Perhaps necromancy is the answer?
This is some fine quality thread necromancy!
Shhhh... you see nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
An oft overlooked fact is that Erwin Schrödinger may be immortal. He DID have a closed casket funeral...
I went to college with Death Ray. Wonder what ever happened to him...
Any necromancer, really...
Regular thin fries, steakhouse fries, crinkle cut fries, waffle fries, or curly fries? Yes. Yes to all of that. I may just be an immortal, cursed to unending life as a tropical fruit due to poor pronunciation during the lichdom ritual, but damn I love me some fries.
That which is not living
After they bought the farm, my parents haunted a hotel built in the 1870s.
Lichcraft
When the flesh hits your teeth
When you feast on a soul
When you drain the life force
When they whine about death
And that crowd on your porch
Happy Day of the Dead everyone!
Damn you Kevin McCallister! Damn you and your wacking booby traps! *gets out head-staplin gun*
Nope.
The first two hundred years of accordion music were the worst. The second two hundred years were also the worst. Then it got bad.
Six of one, toMAHto.
They tell you they're 'finals.'
...if Thanos arrives and asks "Who will join me in bring death to the universe?" Sure, yeah. Happy to, big guy. I just gotta pick the kids up at Gymboree and swing by the dry cleaners first. Mind if we grab take-out on the way? I know this great poke bowl place. It's imitation pokemon meat, but I swear you'll never be able to tell the difference. Wait, is it Tuesday? Crap, I totally spaced. Lillian's got her book club, so I need to be at home with the rug rats. What does your next week look like? Tell you what, just shoot me a text and we can sync our Google calendars and bring this death thing to the universe. Man, life used to be so much simpler in necrocollege...
A necromancied thread.
Pshaw. Everyone knows healing is an evocation. Why else does it burn so badly?
Wait, did the thread about having a relationship with a historical person just become a necromancy thread? This got dark...
Rise... rise... RISE!!!
What is so bad about being Evil anyway ? Getting smote. Seriously, that s*~& hurts. Like, a lot. And not just your feelings get hurt either. But, like, the crunchy parts too.
Getting them to inform on there allies may be maddeningly painful for them, but at the end of the day you've not killed or harmed anyone. You've simply coerced someone magically.And left them with the memory of it as well. Once you're dead, the suffering is over. Fireball is actually kinder in that regard. In a cosmos with an afterlife this is not, strictly speaking, true...
This sounds like a good idea, and could be useful in my current... predicament... as well. What will you do with your existing husk?
I miss having hair...
Food. Pfft. Food's for n00bs.
We live in a universe where death always has consequences.Really? Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear. Oh f#%@. Meh. Don't worry too much. You can always get better. Just watch your pronunciation. Seriously, I canNOT stress that enough.
Wait, that baby was going to grow up to bring about the--? I mean, of course I knew that. Everyone knows that. You all saw it, right? It was totally going to bring about the end of the universe... Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap...
You're all forgetting the exorbitant cost of paladin repellant. Oh, and potpourri. Those two will really eat into your margins.
That which is not living cannot truly die,
You could make an oradin with the Bones mystery... I'll show myself out.
I care.
Pish. Whippersnapper.
Well, whatever you do, make sure you get the ritual's pronunciation right. Trust me on this. Magic is very finicky about that.
*scoffs*
*defies*
The problem is, creating a hardcover of Carrion Crown is a lengthy process, Spoiler: involving the soul of a good man, a skull assembled from bone fragments of war victims, the heart of a werewolf packlord...
How does necromancing work in space? In space, no one can hear you necromance.
♫Like a lich over bloody slaughters,
It paints a whole new picture of Scarborough Fair. Palely Bone Sage rose, buried untime?
So Paul Simon really was the only living boy in New York...
♫I close my eyes only for a moment
Well I did see a lich in another thread... but actually he might of been a lychee. You don't know me! GAH! *flounces upstairs; listens to The Smiths; sketches bats on tombstones*
Are you suggesting I become a small fleshy pink fruit? We've been over this. My pronunciation during the ritual was off. I DIDN' T ASK TO BE FRUIT! I HATE YOU ALL!! *storms upstairs; listens to The Cure; journals*
Well if you do figure something out for the getting old part do let me know. I have a suggestion...
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