Altai Iscarni's page

"Useful trick, th... Um, self-mummification?! I, ah... My gast is flabbered, I guess."

"Ghng." Altai shakes his head violently. "I don't know if I like this spell very much. However, it is both fast and powerful. So..."

"First of all, it is definitely not a tengu sword. I don't really think it's a sword at all - instead, it is part of the essence of some elf-like creature given sword form. I heard reference to the First World, so I guess fairies are involved."

"Gods! Does anyone have a drink?"

dungeonmaster heathy wrote:

Altai Iscarni wrote:

Speaking of tales, I'm going to memorise a Vision spell and check out Beldan's fancy new blade in the morning.

I'll get a Tanuki tale and a Vision for Altai up a little later this evening.

I just reread the "vision" spell description.....says Altai needs to pose it in the form of a specific question.

"Oi, wot's this then?"

"Hmmmmm.... Lessee." Altai grabs the blade with both hands and closes his eyes. "This might get a little rough. So - 'Who made this sword, and what is its purpose?'"

Speaking of tales, I'm going to memorise a Vision spell and check out Beldan's fancy new blade in the morning.

"Leave those lights alone. Could be anything. Now, let's see...."

What kind of skill would stargazing go under? Planes? Arcana? Nature?

"I'm not too worried about things that go bump in the night - the mansion is extradimensional and its entrance is both invisible and locked. Claw stands guard on the inside, of course."

Altai wipes fish sauce from his face, and casts the requisite spells mid-yawn. "'Night, all. By the way, I'll have some newfangled divinations up and running tomorrow concerning Beldan's fancy sword. Should be interesting."

"We might just be somewhere entirely else on Oerth - things appear similar, but are clearly quite different." (Y'know, like this.)

"Or it could be a different planet, like the place those four-armed giants came from. The possibilities are, quite literally, unlimited. However, once I get a good look at the night sky, I should be able to eliminate some options. Until then, we might as well join in on the fishing - I'm getting a bit peckish."

"I have no idea why we're here. No. Idea. Whatsoever. Not to mention that I have just as little idea where we are. It is enough to make a man drink. Speaking of which..." Altai eyes the flask of sake speculatively.

"He really is good with udder animals. Mostly cows."

"Well, this is different..." In an attempt to seem friendly, Altai takes off his nightvision faceplate and stows away his flamethrower staff as he approaches the odd fisherman. Claw follows 10 feet behind him, with the grumpy turtledragon perched on his shoulder.

He takes a swig of the poffered sake. "Nice. Now, Kaii-to - the men that live in cities and build roads, do they look anything like me or Beldan here?"

"I dunno how 'wrong' this is. But it certainly is very un-Asgardian. Want to choose a direction, Svipdag? As I have no idea where we are, either's fine with me."

"T&&@. Not cool."

"At least he didn't dump us off on any of the Elemental Planes. Or either of the Energy Planes. I'll give him that."

Altai looks around. "Let's wander...., uh, that way for a while. I'll set up the Magnificent mansion and recruit some extraplanar muscle tonight; until then, it's trail rations and low profiles, I'm afraid."

"Oh, well, there are ways around this - namely through magic!" Altai grins wildly while rubbing his hands. "Divination magic, to be specific. I need a couple of spells, but I should be able to buy those at the giant outpost."

"Why don't you come along, Svipdag? For some reason, I feel rather bad about leaving a dragon, even one such as you, in a state like this. If you behave, we'll release and restore you as soon as we think it prudent. Until then.... Well, I've never had much of a chance to speak to a dragon, much less and old, extraplanar one. I think this will be the beginning of something quite remarkable."

"Surely someone of your intellect and power desires a bit more than red slaughter and subsequent gorging? Still, did you perhaps eat her old man? Hnosss, please tell the nice dragon what your dad looked like."

"Oh, and what's the story of this sword? I have never seen anything quite like it."

"Well, Svipdag, we came here looking for the father of fair Hnoss over there." Altai nods at the shieldmaiden. "Apparently you held him prisoner. Now, would you know anything about that?"

"Yeah, he'd be the world's most pissed-off turtle. However, he shouldn't be able to cast spells, so he should not be particularly dangerous."

"You know, Hnoss, I can restore the dragon's mind tomorrow. Maybe he can tell us something then."

"How 'bout the other way around - Svipdag changed his shape into a human and sired Hnoss? Wouldn't that explain her old man's antisocial behaviour? He limits interpersonal contact and keeps constantly moving to avoid discovery."

"Maybe Hnoss' dad went here, and then moved on somewhere else? Loki just told her, or someone else who would tell her later, that her old man was here so he could settle a score with the big beast."

Grenades - very scary. :§

"See you around, I'm sure." Altai waves goodbye to the trickster god as he slinks off.

He turns to Elgan. "What the hell do you ask a god of deceit? Seems kinda useless - one of those 'I always lie, including this statement' sort of situations. He's Hnoss' dad, of course." He leans back and picks up another bottle. "Gjetost! Grab a few and come join us! We'll tip back a couple while we wait for Beldan to come back and check that chest."

The otter appears; "yeah? What do you want?"

"What's your name, bub? And how old are you? Or, rather, what's the first thing you can remember?"

Is the chest magical? Also, is that three spells total, or three per level?

"Hmmmm...." Altai helps himself to a bottle of wine. After neatly vapourising the cork with a Magic missile, he takes a good chug before sitting down against the tower wall. "Svipdag doesn't seem to have held prisoners in any conventional way. But there are other ways, too - shrinking people and holding them in glass globes, changing their shape into harmless animals, that sorta thing. So - could someone get me that otter again?"

"Let's head for the tower. The turtle is harmless for now - both the mind-shattering spell and transformative effect are permanent, but we do not want anyone targeting it with a dispelling formula." Altai shivers involuntarily. "Now, that would be extraordinarily bad. I'm all for keeping him as a mascot, but he needs to be kept safe. Claw can carry him for now."

"You know," he adds with a grin, "maybe Hnoss' old man wants him? He can keep him in a terrarium, feed him lettuce, that sort of thing."

Huzzah! Feeblemind is lethal with the kind of penalties Svipdag had, and the lost levels hurt against the Polymorph as well. Good work!

"He can't talk, Hnoss - both because he's a turtle, and because I turned his brain into mush. Let's see if we can find his lair."

We have bardic music running, so Stig hits AC 54 (!) and does 60 points of damage.

"Let's see if this works...." Altai casts a new, unfamiliar spell on the dragon.

No move. I'm casting Feeblemind. SR check 11+14=25, and the dragon needs to make a Will 25 save with a -4 penalty for being a spellcaster and a further -4 penalty from the level drain or have his INT and CHA reduced to 1.

Move to G20 before zapping Svipdag with an empowered Enervation. Attack roll 11+10+1(haste)=touch AC 22, damage 1d4=3x1,5=4,5=4 levels. SR check 14+14=28.

Reflex 12+7=19. With Claw's Shield master effect, I take 27/2=14 hit points damage, which Hnoss then promptly heals. Claw takes no damage from the spell, but takes 27 hp damage from the Shield master effect and is slowed.

"Crap! Spread out! Don't give it a big massed target!"

Claw moves to HI 24-25. Gjetost takes two of the Styx bombs off him and then 5' steps to MN 26-27. Altai moves to I26 and casts Stoneskin on Stig.

After a quick look-see, I think the dragon is ahead of Stig, tied with Gjetost and Claw (they both have 14 DEX - if that is better than the dragon, they go first) and after everybody else.

It also occurs to me that we have not cast any buffs....

Gjetost is up towards the front, while Altai is in the back, behind Claw. I'll cast See invisible once the crone and her ogres take off.

So... Perception Altai 13+11=24 w/See invisible. Perception Gjetost 9+12=21. Perception Claw 20-1=19. Talk about your wasted 20....

Most of my spells are meant to make mincedragon. However, I do have three castings of Stoneskin memorised - one for Stig, one for Gjetost and one for whoever needs it.

Toodle-pip everyone, good luck, good xmas.

And to you too, good fellow!

"It's Gretel.....The fishwife wants to know if you're ready."

"I'd say we're mostly there. Hold on for a sec."

Altai wanders down to the door. "Who is it?"

Buffing will be vital in this fight, but I've always wondered if there's any point in boosting our ACs against this kind of opponent. Energy resistance seems obvious, as does anything that boosts our attack bonuses. What else? After all, we have two extraordinarily powerful spellcasters, and Pip is a very useful and often overlooked arcanist as well.

"Not really. However, I'd say that any effect whatsoever is good. Of course, this is an ambulatory, anthropomorphic plant, while Svipdag is an ancient, extraplanar dragon. Still, it's one more trick up our sleeve."

"I think I'll have Claw carry and hurl the memory bombs. He'll have a hard time hurting the dragon otherwise."

Might as well burn a JGG summoning - we can maintain the Mordekainen's magnificent mansion indefinitely, so it can always be re-memorised. So, let's get a giant and then soak it in youth juice.

It'll have to be something with a discernible and meaningful age - so no elementals, demons or suchlike. I think Elgan can summon giants, centaurs and other humanoids with his Summon nature's ally spells, so that's what I was thinking about.

"At the very leat they must have some sort of understanding. Which is why I'll test out one of these bombs on a summoned creature in here before march off to battle. At leasat we're safe and undetectable in this dimensional pocket."

"Hmmmm...." Altai wanders around the lab, inspecting the equipment. "Maybe we can get flumph-head back there to administer an anal infusion of Styx-juice on the dragon? Probably not...."

He fires up a couple of burners and grabs some glass-blowing implements. "First I'll boil down some of your special waters. Could you please fetch my golem? The grenades must fit his rather peculiar hands perfectly."

Craft (alchemy) 14+19=33 to brw the stuff, Craft (sculpting) 12+15=27 (2 r, class skill) to blow some nice glass globes to hold it and Knowledge (arcana) 10+27=37 to make sure it all behaves according to magical principles. I'm aiming for four globes - what's the cost?

"Dragons increase in power as they age. And as Svipdag doesn't swim even though he is an aquatic dragon, he probably realises the Stygian waters can affect his power. Hmmmmm....." Altai resumes his pacing.

"You wouldn't have any blown glass globes lying around, suitable for throwing? I doubt he'd be interested in participating in any of the other, ah, modes of distribution."

"I was hoping you would say something like that, lumpy. Did he drink the stuff or bathe in it? And, as importantly, does Svipdag ever swim in the lake here?"

Oh, and that last Knowledge check was Knowledge (planes). Looks like I got sloppy there.

The girl says;

"that's why we're......young again."

The boy says,
"Now, what I want to know is why you are such a bunch of douche canoes."

"F&!% you, fatty." Altai sits down next to the girl. "The river water makes you younger???" He is clearly skeptical.

Craft (alchemy) 11+19=30, Knowledge (arcana) 9+27=36, Knowledge 14+29=43. Have I ever heard about anything like this?

The little girl hands Stiggy a crystal goblet marked "x-x-x."

"From our still,...."

"That makes me think. Hmmmmmm....." Altai starts pacing the room, absentmindedly bumping into things. "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......"

"The river Styx, you say? And a still? Could we, possibly, rend down the baleful properties of that river?"

"Every creature in the multiverse thinks you're fat, you little piece of kobold feces. Now shut up before I have my associates here rip your arms off and then ram them so far up your ass that you'll be waving to people out of your mouth." Altai walks in behind Beldan, followed by Claw and Gjetost.

"Morning, ladies." He bows courteously to the hag and the little girl.

"Want to just kick the door in and kill everyone and everything? It's sorta what we do..." Altai's evil grin fades. "If the kids don't seem too worried, the situation might not be dire. Let's just walk in and have a nice chat. Watch your backs, though - the kids and the hag might bein league with one another."

I'm not dead! I got myself a Metamagic rod (empower); that should really jazz up some of my bigger damaging spells. Also, I've actually memorised Mordenkainen's maginificent mansion now, so we sleep in sumptious comfort and complete security.

"Gingerbread, eh? You lot probably like the sound of that," Altai grins at Stig and Gjetost.

[ooc]You know what Beldan really needs? Sniper goggles.

Gotta bring Stig along. So much for the talk about fighters sucking...

I can run my own crowd. But if Mothers runs Stig, could you run Pip? That way, we have everybody accounted for.

I might want to go shopping, but I'm otherwise ready to roll. It would be nice if someone could run Stig on a regular basis (in the last fight, I ran him, Claw, Gjetost and Pip and that was a bit much).

35? I'm getting a bad feeling...

Altai's updated. INT 30, y'all!

I'll update at work tomorrow - stupid internet's too spotty at home.