Alexandra Pitchford's page

Ah. That's...highly disappointing. Had I known, I would have gotten everything at once. This wasn't really explained well, and...yeah, I wish it had been...

This was my first time back after years, so that's a little disheartening.

Giving this a bump :)

Heya,

I recently redeemed the store credit vouchers I received from GMing at GenCon, and while I received two vouchers (one for $5, one for $50) and redeemed them both while purchasing a copy of the Starfinder Core Rulebook, the remaining store credit (about $45) isn't showing up in my account.

Thanks for any help you can offer
Allie

I'm actually looking to find a race boon that no one is using and might be willing to part with, myself. The last time I played was before they removed the ability to play Aasimar and Tiefling without a boon. I'd love to be able to play an Aasimar now that I'm jumping back into the Society, so if there's anyone willing to part with a boon they haven't used I'd be super extremely grateful <3

Hmm, will we be able to fight FOR House Thrune? I'd like that option ;)

Hmm. Well, I'll still submit the story that I talked to you about, Tim. I've been working on it, trying to get it perfect, so...yeah >_>

What Crystal said. Am I worried that characters will become one-note parodies? Always. But that doesn't mean they shouldn't be included. So far, they've been handled incredibly well. Anevia is one of my favorite new characters, and I find her entire backstory, regardless of the gender aspect, to be well-done and interesting.

Is being reduced to parodies a worry? Of course. But Paizo seems capable enough of handling things, and portraying interesting, multifaceted characters that don't fall back on tired stereotypes.

Except that, thus far, I think they've covered the various spectrum of individuals, whether hetero or gay or something else. Paizo's been pretty good about that sort of thing, for the most part. I trust them to do a good job.

And, I'll fight tooth and nail to keep seeing people like me reflected in Paizo's setting material. You don't want to depict a trans* person in your game? Don't use them! Fine, but understand that there are people that would like to see people like them in a game. That's all it really boils down to. Telling Paizo that you don't want to see people like me (a lesbian Trans woman, I might point out) reflected in a game that I also play, tells me that you really don't see people like me as worthy of inclusion.

And yes, that's offensive to me. Do what you want in your home game, but let us have our heroes and representation too. Please.

Congrats, Kyle. You totally deserve it. Even when I was VC, I couldn't have done a lot of what I did in Seattle without your help. Keep up the amazing work! ^_^

There are plenty of fiction authors in this issue who would looooooove to hear thoughts about their stories :)

Set wrote:

On the 'in game word for lesbian' notion, aren't there some amazon populations in Golarion? The dinosaur riders south of Garund, for example?

Holomog! I'm not sure that's the name of the people as well though.

I thought about trying to derive something from Qadira too, considering the matriarchy, but Holomog probably has a more female-centric reputation going for it(and doesn't really have much in the way of political enemies in the Inner Sea Region, except maybe Geb).

Thinking about the Sarenrae/Shelyn/Desna relationship and how it might be romanticized to supply some positive identifiers...

****************

Katryn tried to keep up with the Varisian girl. It was already dark out and she knew she was expected home, but she couldn't leave her friend without apologizing.

Alma turned back to her, continuing her rapid pace backwards, her smile flashing brightly in the moonlight. "C'mon! My brother will be playing back at the camp tonight! You'll love the songs he's picked up since we were here last!"

The young Chelish woman grinned despite herself. "I'm sure. But..." She half regretted leading into it as Alma raised an eyebrow and slowed her step. Katryn did not want to sour the night any further than she felt it already had.

"Hm?" Alma prompted, finally coming to a stop as her old friend stared at her own feet.

Katryn sheepishly continued. "I'm sorry. About my mother."

Alma tilted her head, a quizzical look in her eyes. "For....?"

Gods, does she really not know? Katryn suspected that Alma was playing with her now. Her voice dropped almost to a whisper as she continued. "For the "moth" remark..." Her pale cheeks turned pink with embarassment. "She's...old fashioned...she doesn't know any..."

She stopped short as her friend nearly doubled over from laughter, her hands on her knees and her long black locks brushing against the grass.

"I'm serious!" Katryn's blush deepened. "You and your family have been coming...

I...I absolutely love this O_o

Also, I can totally confirm that the character Miranda from my recent story in Wayfinder is a TOTAL firefly :)

I do find myself wishing that people had more to say about the short stories, which are a decent portion of the 'zine too. Ah well.:(

The thing is, by the vast majority of average folks Transgendered people are looked upon as "weird" or "odd" or even worse. The only way that is going to change is by being out there, and when stuff like this comes up being as rational and calm as you can be, even if the person who disagrees with you is not, in that circumstance actually especially so. If you act like a reasonable and calm person while the one railing against you is frothing and the mouth and throwing names and labels at you it makes you seem like the responsible party and they the crazy ones, no matter your lifestyle choices.

I'll say that this not particularly fair. But by responding or resorting to name calling and attacks, it hurts your own cause. It makes people less likely to engage in a conversation with you because it turns into a shouting match and could even confirm whatever uneducated bias they have about transgendered people. The way Cori presents arguments is much more likely to convince people than the overly aggressive way, is what I am really trying to say here.

The only reason name-calling and incivility was resorted to was not because of disagreement, but because of the borderline offensive stuff that 3.5 Loyalist came out of the gate with. If you notice, we started off trying to be pretty darn rational, but none of it sank in. And, he followed that up with stuff that was not only offensive to me and just about everyone else I know that's reading and posting in this, but disrespectful to me, personally. So...I'm not surprised DrowVampyre went off like she did. It's not exactly helping anybody, but I can't fault her for it.

Like I said before, if he'd come out of the gate asking questions respectfully without stuff he started out with? Then yes. I would likely have answered the questions to the best of my ability. I'm honestly happy to enlighten people on what things are like for people like me, but you need to remember to be respectful when doing the asking or you're not going to get a positive reaction.

Now, I will say this, in regards to something you asked earlier that Cori covered partially. As far as state-based stuff goes, yes, it can be a lot of hoops to jump through. As far as I know, most states do require you to have had the reassignment surgery before you can change your gender designation. Luckily, I happen to live in Washington, where that's not the case. It still took some hoop-jumping, but my ID now correctly reflects my gender.

A harder thing is birth certificates, at least for those of us born in states that do require the surgery first. I can change my name on it (and fully intend to), but I'm sorta out of luck if I want to get a passport...at least until I get SRS. Damn Virginia laws...

Now parrying with the other hand, Pitchford, you do realise that pseudo-intellectual has been an over-used ad hominem for decades? It is often used to discourage debate and discredit a side. You've got to be careful throwing that round as well, because I am an actual intellectual. Uni grad, honours, working on my PhD at the moment, someone who tries to understand society and discuss intellectual matters, culture, sub-culture and identity is like a drug to discuss. This isn't my specialty though, this is just an interest, but it is lazy to go the you are just speaking "pseudo-intellectual bs" route. To ask questions is at the heart of inquiry, and we can just accept what people say and alter our language to suit what they want, but that isn't thinking, that is respecting. I'm interested in more than that. What is behind the pushing back against the natural as unnatural?

On who you were before, it was not the lie. It was the biological truth. The biological truth is not our constructed socialisations of gender. Now this gets a lot more interesting if we consider and ask why you did not find your biology to be truth, and what influenced your wish to change? We can change attitudes daily, why was it so important to change the sides society has placed you on? Have you physically got yourself altered by operations, to what extent? Is this about mastery? Is this about finding the self? That is enough questions to get us started for sure.

You know, I'm kinda getting tired of you just using my surname. At the very least, I find it disrespectful. Alex, Alexandra, Allie, Lex, Ms. Pitchford, whatever. But just calling me 'Pitchford' makes it seem like you're trying to jab at me. But, that's hardly the point here.

The point is, we've pointed out how wrong-headed and offensive what you've said is. We've tried to explain, rationally, why you're mistaken in your view of what transpeople are. It's not something so simple that it can be boiled down and shoved into the boxes you seem to want to put it in. And you don't get it, fine.

Believe me, I've been very open about my experiences so far, both online and in real life. If you'd just asked those sorts of questions right off the bat? Maybe I would have answered them. But when it's included among some of what you keep saying...that I, and people like me, are somehow deceiving you, defrauding you, or trying to "sell you something" by just trying to be who we know we are inside. Well, that's what gets me. That's what pisses me off.

You want discourse? Try not being a jackass, and then we'll talk.

And you know what? No, you don't get to call me Allie. Only my girlfriend gets to call me that.

Shifty wrote:

Might be best just to let this one slide now eh guys? Before people get too heated?

I'm sorry, but somebody telling me that I'm trying to bs them about who I am because I don't want to live a personal lie? I'm going to respond to that.

I tried too, believe me. It's hard to stomach that sort of ignorant, asinine, pseudo-intellectual BS. But at this point I'm just tired of beating my head against a wall. Plus, I knew if I kept trying I was going to start saying things that were decidedly unladylike. I'd rather keep a civil tone...hard as that might be to do -_-

Like I said before...it was who I was before that was the lie, plain and simple. If someone doesn't want to accept that, well...they're wrong, and that's their damn problem, not mine.

3.5 Loyalist wrote:

So if someone was transgendered, I'd have no problem with them being whatever, but if they try to bullsh*t me, I am going to look into their eyes and ask, "really? Is that so... Jimmy?" Because there is seizing your own identity, and saying you are this, but there is also bullshi**ing other people, and claiming/trying to be what you feel is right for you, but which isn't entirely correct.

So is a 400-pound person who lost 250 pounds after gastroplasty really just a fat person lying to you about their weight? "I'm sorry—you're trying to pass as skinny, but I detect a looseness in your skin that says otherwise, tubby."

3.5 Loyalist wrote:

Ah but they get to choose. They choose it every day as they try to re-make themselves and approach what seems more natural for them. Moving away from how they were raised, departing from old gender zones for greener pastures is indeed choice and agency. You can try the they are victims argument, and I am partially sympathetic, but that they exist as a group and engage in transformations, long processes of change, learning and operations, more puts them like many other moderns for me. Groping about desperately, to garb ourselves in comforting costumes. In this case, the fixation is on gender, and on righting what is seen as wrong. I'm a he, a man in a woman's body, I'm a she, a woman in a man's body.

The bad news is, we are all confused, angry and make our choices. The good news is we can gain comfort by re-fashioning ourselves. Good on them!

So take the 400-pound person who's trying to get down to 150 by dieting, and is halfway there. You can choose to treat them as the person they want to become, or you can choose to treat them as the person they don't want to be anymore. I think one of those choices makes you a decent person, and the other one makes you a jerk.

Vic, you are amazing. Thank you :)

Huh...I didn't even know about this thread until just now. Interesting! *sits and listens*

Pitchford, not going to stop discussing this because you got offended. You are going to have to...

Well, nothing I say will certainly convince you, I can see.

Thanks for not using my first name though. That's a classy touch :P

Well, I really am sorry that's how you choose to view things. It's pretty clear that we're in "agree to disagree" territory, so this thread of conversation is probably just going to keep riling people (myself included), up. Whether or not you have a personal problem with transpeople, that's an incredibly insensitive outlook, and well...however academic you may see it as, it's not doing anybody any sort of good.

No one's trying to sell you anything, no one's trying to hoodwink or deceive you. So really...just let it go.

DrowVampyre wrote:

Except it is entirely correct - autopsies of transgendered individuals, both those who take hormone replacement and those who have identified as transgendered but do not treat it, show that brain construction is as they identify. So unless you consider people born with birth defects (say, being born without gonads, or working ones anyway, whether those are ovaries or testicles) as not what they say, then transgendered people are exactly what they say.

It's a birth defect, and like any other, it doesn't change who they are...it simply means that society has mislabeled them and that ignorant and/or hateful people insist they are something else.

After reading this, I went in search of some of these studies, because I think this is really kind of awesome. I ran into this one. Any others I should be looking at?

Thanks for bringing this up, and a big thank-you to the original poster and video-blogger. Understanding is key to acceptance.

That's my DrowVampyre! Awesome, ain't she? *hugs her* :3

DeathQuaker wrote:

Kydeem de'Morcaine wrote:

I have zero problem with people standing up to hatred and prejudice. I am all for it and would support them in any way that I reasonably can. Sorry if I took this on a left turn. I get tired of being the bad guy because I can't guess what term that person wants to use.

You're never the bad guy as long as you're doing your best to be respectful... You have to check yourself--were you as polite and respectful as you could be? If yes, then you know you did your best and this person is just not able to cope for reasons that have nothing to do with you. Disengage when you can, and remember to remain as respectful as possible--a lot of times when people do that and they come off their rage, as long as you were sincerely kind, they will realize they were unfair to you. At least, that is what has happened to me in these cases most of the time.

This, a thousand times this. Weigh the small change the person is asking of you against the amount of bs they have to deal with every day—think how tired they are of that! Listen, respect people's stated preferences, and don't take the correction personally.

On a similar note, to all the people I've growled at for accidentally mistaking me for a guy on forums, etc., please understand that I wasn't angry at you—if you make a reasonable effort to respect my stated identity in future, we're cool! Rather, I was angry in general, because it was probably the fourth time I'd heard it that day, and usually at least one of the other people was doing it intentionally to troll me because "lol, there're no wimminz on the internetz!".)

This! Especially the last part. The only time I've ever gotten angry over being addressed the wrong way is if I've either heard it a lot that day (at least from people that know better) or if a single person keeps calling me that if I did correct them (it'll still bug me, of course, even if I don't correct someone...but I don't tend to get angry about that, since, especially on the phone, that's on me for not correcting.)

Davor wrote:

All of which are things I think are silly and shouldn't be done either. Again, I understand not being happy with yourself, but perhaps it's ones self perception that needs to be changed, rather than the exterior.

You know that changing self perception is actually impossible in most of these cases and if forced, causes severe psychological damage?

This, exactly. A transgendered person pretending they're not (and it would be pretending) is as psychologically damaging as a gay person convincing themselves (or being forced to be convinced. Let's not start on that 'pray away the gay' bullshit) that they're straight. Nothing good comes of it, and that person just ends up miserable.

They can try and define the correct pronoun, but others can also say, no, sorry, you aren't entirely are you?

For instance, the... person in the vid, their arms looked to me like a man's arms trying to masquerade as a woman's arms. The rest was a somewhat convincing disguise/bluff, but thing stick out (no pun intended) for those that pay attention.

The attempt to become something you are not, but which you think you are, leaves all sorts of intriguing tells in the wake of partial transformations. They can try and say, no I am a she now, she she she, purely a she, but another person isn't entirely wrong if they say, what of this over here!

So if someone was transgendered, I'd have no problem with them being whatever, but if they try to bullsh*t me, I am going to look into their eyes and ask, "really? Is that so... Jimmy?" Because there is seizing your own identity, and saying you are this, but there is also bullshi**ing other people, and claiming/trying to be what you feel is right for you, but which isn't entirely correct.

The truth is they are somewhere in between he and she. Transgender therefore works.

Except that's a very uninformed, and highly disrespectful way of viewing it. If someone identifies to you as a woman, then leave it at that. Don't pry, don't ask, just accept what they say and move on, plain and simple. Otherwise, you just come off as a jackass.

Believe me, it's not easy struggling with who you know you are on the inside, and what you were born as. Trying to reconcile those isn't easy, and when you've come as far as some transwomen have then having someone look at you like that and blatantly call everything you are bull, well...that can be one of the most traumatic and hurtful things that can happen. So just...be open-minded, be accepting. They're not trying to deceive you, because to them that's what they are. It's who they were before that was the deceit, as far as they're concerned. A mask or a costume they put on because they had to.

I get not approving, and I get not understanding...but at least try to be nice...

Davor wrote:

So... someone is good at gaming. Hurray?

I may not agree with the whole sex change thing, but that doesn't make (insert gender specific pronoun here) any less of a gamer, which... was something we all knew already.

Again... yay?

I don't think anyone thinks she is less of a gamer but they are being a~&$&%!s to her and harassing her - the interviewer hopes that he can help reduce that type of behavior in the gaming community.

Also, the correct gender specific pronoun in this case would be "her".

Yeah, as a transgendered woman myself, the pronoun is definitely "Her". Like they explain in the video, the right pronoun is whatever they consider themselves. :)

I was just curious what part of this order is pending? Been waiting on it for a couple of weeks now, so mostly just curious :)

But keep in mind that guns only came into prominence in the Mana Wastes because of the utter lack of working magic there. In the rest of Golarion, where magic is available in some form to just about everyone, I think most people view them as a curiosity at best.

I think it really just boils down to flavor, and not wanting too many classes with availability to guns. So, Gunslinger or nothing, sadly. But there are still so many types of characters you can create with just a gunslinger :)

Meeting new friends and catching up with old ones: I had the extreme delight of meeting a lot of folks who I knew only on the boards and finding out that they were indeed as awesome as I thought they were. Call outs to Jonathan Cary, Kristie Schweyer, Evan Whitefield, Auke, Bob Jonquet, Eric Brittain, Mike Brannik, Brett Sweeney, the entire wonderful HQ team, and anyone else who I missed.

It was good to see you and Kyle both this year, even if I didn't really get a chance to talk to either of you! I really miss the whole VC crew...GenCon was amazing, and it sorta made me realize how much I want to step back into those shoes again, lol.

Congratulations, you two! ^_^

Lessee...

I have:
Oread
Nagaji/Wayang/Kitsune (yay for GM boons. You pick which one you want)

I want:
Well, not super-picky here, but...Ifrit, or Sylph maybe? I want a Fetchling desperately, but since those are tied to the 12+ characters rather than a boon on their own, I'll just have to suffer.

I want to thank the players, really. I've come to GenCon three years in a row now, volunteering for Paizo and spending 90% of my time in the PFS room, and never once have I regretted it. That's because of the people. And not just those of us sitting behind the HQ table or running games.

The players, at least my players, have always been absolutely great. They've made me laugh, challenged my GMing ability, and really given me a good run for my money in combats a time or two (the folks I ran through The Goblinblood Dead on Saturday night know what I'm talking about ;) ). It's not often that I get to even GM, these days ( still haven't played a scenario myself in over a year), but I always enjoy it at GenCon.

Thanks again, guys. And for the table of Goblinblood who told me that my game was the most fun they'd had all Con, thanks a ton. I felt the same way :)

Oh, and to the table on Sunday where I TPK'd you in the end of First Steps Part 1: well, sorry! I wasn't even trying to, but that damn

Sidenote: to the player who wanted me to check on why the halfling can use a greataxe, it was a small greataxe, hence being 1d10 instead of 1d12. Hope that makes it less frustrating. Probably not >_>

There are still kinks, to be sure. Sadly, there are too many people to do it the same way Josh used to, and I wish that things had gone a bit more smoothly in the mustering stage. On Friday I was mustering site A, and while I did manage to seat all of my ticketed players, by the time they got done seating generics in overflow they'd still not reached my station yet, and a table of those players only got to play because another among them offered to run the Special cold.

Heck, Saturday I wound up losing my only real chance to play the entire convention because I felt I had to rescue the poor guy mustering the station I was at, since he was floundering and his father seemed to be brow-beating him and trying to take over the mustering job. I stepped in, helped seat people, and ended up giving up open spots that were offered to me more than once so I wouldn't have to leave the guy floundering again.

Ah, well. This is an evolving process, and hopefully it'll get better as we try to iron out the kinks. We just never get to see it in action until the actual conventions roll around.

Sent! Bwahahahaha.

Ah! Excellent. I suppose I misread the confirmation e-mail then. Well, good. I fly in late at night Wednesday (I think I land around 11 or so, PM), so that'll be perfect.

Hmm...do we not have the rooms for the Wednesday before GenCon this year? I know that some of us are arriving the day before the con actually kicks off.

Heya,

I wanted to ask when the store credit for GMing at PaizoCon this year will be added to my account? I wasn't sure if that was something folks were still waiting on, or if I was missed for whatever reason. Mostly curious. Thanks!

-Alex

Awesome! Thanks, Cosmo. :)

Heya,

I was wondering if it would be at all possible to change my official avatar name on the boards to that of my current alias, to make things a bit simpler.

Either way, thanks!
-Alex

At one of my tables this weekend I wound up having three clerics, so...they're out there.

I think something like Gender shouldn't be changed willy-nilly, to be sure. Being that

Wow, now I -really- wish I'd gone. I've been wanting to play a fetchling...

I just got a notice that this order was soon to go through, and lo and behold the charge appeared on my bank account.

I'd like to ask to cancel this order ASAP, if at all possible. I had thought these volumes were coming out much later in the month, which is the main reason I was able to actually justify the subscription. Sadly, the order going through -now- has already overdrafted me, so if it's possible to cancel this it could definitely help me out.

Thanks, and sorry.

Edit: And if possible, please cancel my subscription too. Thanks.

You get charged when it ships :)

Okay, I broke down and pre-ordered. It's not even expected until november, so I'll totally be saving up and applying as much of my store credit from GMing at PaizoCon and GenCon as possible >_>